Unsure if I've done the right thing!

S

Sholmes93

New User
Joined
17 September 2017
Messages
3
Visit site
Hi everyone so I am knew to this but I am just looking for a bit of advice and support. I have recently got a horse on loan after having a horse when I was younger competing regularly, then worked with horses after leaving school in various yards until I got fed up of being treated like a slave and decided to get a proper job! Anyway I'm now 23 and haven't had my own horse since I was 15. I decided after settling in a job that I now love I would go back to doing something I loved and keep it as a hobby. I have had a TB on loan for 2 weeks now (I previously knew the horse) and at first I was so excited but as the days are going on I'm thinking oh no what have I done! Have I rushed into it! Is my heart even in it anymore! Hes a lovely horse and I'm working him everyday and he's got a lot of potential. I also think as I've got no transport I wouldn't be able to go anywhere anyway to compete him! The yard is like a ghost town! It's DIY and I never see anybody which makes me nervous riding a horse on my own which I am only just getting use to ! Plus I remember from being younger It's nice to go to your yard and socialise with friends and horsey people! The only thing is I cant move yards because it's the only decent well looked after yard near me !

To put things blunt I'm starting to get anxiety about what I have done and keep trying to put it out of my mind that maybe I am regretting it. I start work at 9 so i go up before work muck out etc and turn him out, then go to work. Go home at 1 , walk my dog , go back to the yard at 2 or half 2 to ride or whatever, sort him out for the night then go back to work for 4 till 7.30. So I think Ive taken too much on and feel so stupid. I dont even know if my heart's in it anymore I have to make myself ride him as he is a lovely horse and needs working as hes a lot of potential (baring in mind the owners of him rode him about twice a week and didnt do anything). Ive tried everything having jumping lesson's, going on long hacks to try and get the passion back but nothing! Dont get me wrong I still love horses but I dont have any motivation anymore , I cant compete as have no transport and I just feel i'm maybe not the same person I was when I was younger at school. Now I know there's more to life such as going out with friends, boyfriends going away for nice weekends and I don't think I appreciated this before. I know I can give him back whenever I like but I feel so bad :( Just stressing myself out and dont know what to do :/ Sorry about the essay xxx
 
And breathe.................."working him everyday" sounds as though you are setting yourself too much to do to just simply enjoy his company. And that of others, I have always found riding on your own can be a chore, riding in company so much more enjoyable.
Can you reduce your self imposed workload - keep him out, at least for now, and ride him just two or three times a week? Spend the other days doing what you enjoy - grooming him, maybe learn clicker training and learn some "tricks" together (great for creating a good relationship), just being around him, just don't make it such a treadmill
 
Last edited:
You don't have to ride every day, maybe if you rode a few times a week its a bit less pressure on yourself? Can you not move to a yard where there are people that ride out together etc and you can nab a lift to shows..or even hire transport possibly? I understand what you mean about realising there's more to life - it is hard to get the balance right. Its not an overnight thing getting back into horses properly (ie, having your own) so you're probably being a bit hard on yourself.
If you're still not happy maybe find a part loan instead.
 
I know what you mean as I did similar, sold my horse before uni then got back into it 6 years later. Got a full loan etc, I think it's an adjustment. I'd give it a month and then see.
 
Thanks guys! Yeah I think I am definitely being too hard on myself. I have started riding every other day now and spend more time on the ground with him. He needs bringing back into work slowly anyway as he is not use to it. I think I just need to enjoy it and chill out . It's just hard getting use to the routine and having the energy to have a social life lol
 
Maybe you enjoy competing and being sociable and that this is what you are missing to really get you going in which case an alternative yard may be more stimulating especially if you can find someone with transport that also enjoys competing and will take you along with them.
 
Do the horses come in at night during the winter? I'm on a small DIY yard and during the summer I quite often don't see some of the other liveries for days on end as we all have different times. Once the horses come in we see a lot more of each other.
 
I think you're being too hard on yourself. Is there anyway you could get someone to do either end of the day for you (either turn out or bring in) so you can just go once, do jobs and ride or groom? It's a lot to jump right in and be doing a split shift around him.
Don't worry about his potential, just work away as and when you want to and the motivation, enjoyment and improvement should come. I'd also personally look into moving yards if possible to somewhere with more people that you can enjoy the social aspect with.
 
Ahhh don't beat yourself up! I sold my first pony and had a little break between getting my next. I got my new one and it was a real shock as I'd gone from having lovely lie ins and all the free time in the world to having none of it haha!

Are there any Riding Clubs nearby? Is hiring transport an option for you? Do you have any yards nearby where you know people and can hack out with? What about group riding lessons?

Your yard will probably get a lot busier over winter too, mine certainly does. A lot of the horses on my yard are retired, but I'm lucky that a close friend also stables on there, she's an ideal hacking buddy. I hope you sort it out whatever you decide :)
 
Your hours are a bit skewed for meeting other liveries. Are your hours flexible? You could ride in the morning, do 9 - 5 and walk the dog in your lunch hour then go up the yard to meet up with the other liveries who bring in at 5.30pm. Most horses aren't in and done by 4pm, the busiest time at my yard is 5-6.30pm.
 
Thank you all for replying, it's nice to see all your different views. I think I'm just going to take things day by day and try not to stress . If it gets too much by after Christmas I shall just have to be honest with the owner. xx
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top