Update on: How do you cope with bitchiness on yard post

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ever_hopeful

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THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO POSTED WITH SUGGESTIONS AND SUPPORT!

Diggerbez = how depressing for you. God, I'd hate to have to put up with that sort of atmosphere, permanently. Poor you. I'd be SO depressed if I were you.

I do keep myself to myself. I am not particularly sociable with people - except the one or two I am now very friendly with, but always instigate a "hello' and "goodbye" with everyone else - even the quiet ones, or pass the time of day with anyone who stops by for a chat whilst I am doing my two.

Unfortunately these two new people, and one of them in particular, won't leave me alone in my stable. I have not seen them all week, and this morning happened upon them for the first time since last Monday morning (the day after they arrived on the yard). As advised on here, I said a cheery "Hello" to them as I arrived in the barn and got one back, albeit a rather subdued response. Within 2 minutes, as I was checking my first horse over in her stable, person number one makes a direct snippy comment to me; loudly and in front of several of the other liveries who share the barn too. The woman from the next box along from me, popped out of her stable on hearing what was said and came over to stand alongside me for moral support. Both she and I acted calmly and responded to the comments made with a smile and a bit of surpised look. We are both considerably older women, than the twenty-something girl making these comments. The snippy girl and her friend left shortly afterwards, and my friend from the stable nextdoor and I simply exchanged raised-eyebrows and continued on with our horses. We didn't even feel the need to discuss what had transpired any further!

I feel a bit better after this morning's confrontation; as it's obvious that I have the support of the existing liveries in the barn and after today - I realise the comments being made about me are ridiculous and nothing to fret about. This girl is obviously going to bring further trouble, but I'm feeling better about dealing with it.

However, how is it someone moves onto a yard and within 2 days starts making trouble with one of the existing liveries?! Gosh, know when I moved to this yard myself a few months back, I was positively bricking it!!! Genuinely worried I wouldn't fit in or people would be bitch or cliquey. I went out of my way to be pleasant and considerate to everyone! Jeepers, this new girl seems determined to rock-the-boat even before being at the yard a whole week. Why would someone do that?????!
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Unfortunatly its the nature of livery yards its a pack instinct,you just need to ignore them if you can,horses cost a fortune to keep and why should some "no nothings" spoil it for you,the problem i had was that the"no nothings"rounded up the "sheep"so then you get the pack headed by the "sheepdog bitch" then hey your lifes made hell,cant really elaborate as i will probably be banned again but good luck
 
Well done for that, i hate bichiness on yards and im quiet like you, but do say hello and chat to people, hope i dont have problems as I moved yards yesterday, but all good so far! good luck, hopefully she'l go or just shut up and you can enjoy being up there again.
 
Have just read your original post - I just despair at how unpleasant some people can be based only what can only be assumptions. I agree with the others - be ultra nice and cheery say hello and crack on with whatever you are doing. I realise it is easier said than done some days but they are trying to provoke a reaction so don't give them the satisfaction. I have to say when this sort of things happens to me - at work usually rather than the yard - I smile say hello and laugh a lot and that generally does the trick as they find it so annoying as they don't know what the joke is! All I can say is people like this have very empty lives. Good luck with it - at least it sounds like you have ally (so?)
 
Glad you're feeling better.
I must admit I had assumed that you were the younger one here. Whatever is wrong with people that they can't show some respect, just as a matter of course?
My guess is that this horse and its owner won't stay to annoy you for very long, these people tend to move round alot.
 
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Glad you're feeling better.
I must admit I had assumed that you were the younger one here. Whatever is wrong with people that they can't show some respect, just as a matter of course?
My guess is that this horse and its owner won't stay to annoy you for very long, these people tend to move round alot.

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Sadly, I've got 20+ years on this new girl and the other livery (who was my ally this morning) has 25+ years. She's a teacher and I am a lecturer, so although we're used to getting aggro from "young 'uns" it's not usually unsolicited!
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I've just moved yards to - about 3 weeks ago - and can't imagine starting hassle with people I didn't know (not that I start hassle with people I do know
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). At least you know other liveries think this person is an oddball! I'm sure some slight bitchiness must go off at this new yard of mine but as it is all set out in different blocks, the menege is well away from where people go about their business and people are up at different times, I've not seen any yet. I'm quite a shy person and rarely start a conversation with people I don't know well but I always say hello to everyone I meet at the new yard and smile - I don't know what I'd do if I was in your situation except carry on as you are doing, you know you're in the right.
 
oh i'm so glad that you are feeling better about this...and good to know that you have 'allies'.....i'd just keep on the way that you are- soon it will start to really annoy them that you aren't taking their cr@p advice and yet still being nice and by this point they'll have alienated the other liveries too and will moving along to haunt someone else! no doubt they'll end up at my yard...bloody place is full of them
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I think that was a good outcome, and maybe the start of them backing off. I suggested that, as the others already know you, they would know you enough to ignore the others anyhow.
I hope it has made you feel a bit more positive.
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