Very sad and dont know what to do :(

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NatalieS

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So I finally made the hard decision that my little loan horse 'Honey' had to go back to her owner because she is to much for me to handle and I have had vets/physio/dentist all over the last 6 months to see whether she has a bad back and no one is giving me a straight answer, some days she is an angel and other days extremely naughty.

I popped around to see her owner last night to give her the appropriate 1 months notice or longer if they needed it, and all they said was we have no where to keep her she will have to be shot :( cue lots of crying because although she is to much for me she may not be for someone else and I am not even sure if she does have a bad back or just badly behaved.

So now I have a horse I cant ride but if I send her back she is going to be slaughtered.

Any suggestions very much welcomed because I dont know what to do :(
 
Sounds like a bit of a ploy by the owner to get you to keep her anyway.

End of the day, she's there horse and they need to take responsible action. She isn't your problem :(
 
I think it was a ploy but a really nasty one, she doesnt deserve to be shot just because they cant be bothered with her and I am sure someone with more experience/time maybe would be able to sort her out :(

Tried the local animal sanctuary so keeping fingers crossed
 
Nothing like a bit of emotional blackmail!!
Do understand how it would get to you tho.
Sensible part says put her back to owners ,its their responsability.If they actually do this itis on their heads not yours.
I hae put daughters pony on loan and tbh if she came back it would stretch me financially BUT no way would I decline the return of pony.MY pony MY responsability.I am always aware that she could come back at any time.
 
The point of having her on loan is that she is not your long term responsibility.
The good side is you can give her back with notice, at any time, the bad side is she can be taken off you in the same way. You knew this and the owner knew this when she went on loan... so from their point of view they should always have had a plan B for if she came back as she is their responsibility.:(

I do not think you should keep on loaning an unsuitable horse. They may well be just threatening to PTS to try to make you keep her. They may indeed PTS - but that is always their decision and not yours. It will not be your fault if they do. If she is no fun and you cannot ride her you need to give her back. If they no longer want/are able to keep/etc then they need to make their own decisions. Your decision should not be affected by their threats. ((hugs)) as I am sure you are very fond of her and it must be hard to give her back - but she is their horse and their responsibility.
 
Not that naughty just a handful when being ridden but she has never bucked/reared/bolted just really strong but this could just be her - but it could be a bad back but the experts dont seem to be able to give me a answer!!

Maybe I could advertise her as a companion only but how many people are going to want a 15.3hh horse as a companion, she is lovely and very sweet but has thoroughbred in her and that shows through when being ridden
 
In all honesty it sounds like a bit of emotional blackmail to me... They have no where to keep her? So where did they keep her before you took her one loan? Surely there must be a field even that she could live out in... sounds to me as though they don't want either a "Naughty" pony back or a pony that they can no longer ride due to "Bad Back"

How awful for you... but if you cant ride her and that was the hole purpose of the loan in the first place... A pony you can ride, then you have to give her back, or continue to pay for a horse you wont ride... Its a really tough thing to make your mind up on... But to me it sounds as though they are playing on your heart strings here knowing full well that you wont give her up incase she gets put PTS...
 
Just to put another slant on it.
Maybe the reason they are talking about PTS is that they've been a bit naughty and know how naughty she is and haven't been entirely truthful with you hoping you manage to sort it out.
 
without sound harsh, there are far worst situation for this mare than being PTS, at least you know where she is and that no-one could hurt her because she is naughty or starve her in an attempt to make her less lively. i personally think it sounds like an empty threat. i hope you find a suitable solution to this situation
 
She would quite happily live out 24/7 because she hates being stabled anyway, but they just dont want to have to pay for grazing for her. But I am strong believer that if you put a horse on loan you should always have somewhere for them to come back to.

Its a nightmare and I know they would got through with PTS option because thats the type of people they are :(
 
You say she is just really strong - how bad is it? Why do you think thats a physical problem? Many horses are just strong. If you think she could be ridden and enjoyed by someone more experienced, you could try and find her another home. Not if you think she is dangerous though.
However as everyone has said its ultimatley not your problem!
 
I've had a quick look at your old posts and you've had her for nearly three years. It also sounds like you've really tried hard to help this mare and haven't come to this decision lightly.

How about offering two months for them to find a new loan home/grass livery for her and possibly try to find a new loaner yourself (to give the mare the best chance of getting a new home)?
 
The girl that owns her had completely hammered her before she came to be and she had already come back from one loan home 'apparently for financial reasons' which I am thinking now wasnt true, they also didnt tell me she was not 100% in traffic ie hates lorries/tractors etc which is a nightmare because I have to ride out onto a main road with busy traffic and sharp bends.

Wish they had been honest because I wouldn't of had her if I known about it.
I dont think she is dangerous, but I can't be 100% sure she is completely fit to be ridden so how can I try and rehome a horse that I dont know is safe/rideable.

:(
 
Not the time Dizzle.

I have to say, being put down isn't the worst thing that could happen.

The worst thing is she gets passed onto someone and kills them or herself. I'd be happier for her to be put down if she's dangerous - than I would sell her or even give her away.
 
If she is that dangerous they were irresponsible to expect someone else to be put in danger.

That is terrible. When people get caught out and all has been tried to make the horse good and safe unfortunately it may be safer to pts.

They will probably try to loan her to someone else unsuspecting who could end up seriously injured.

Take her straight back to them if they wont had her to a rescue or attempt to sort out issues properly with the horse.

Emotional blackmail.
 
A lot depends on how you class her behaviour. You say she's too much for you, in which case she may not be for someone else, and shouldn't be classed as dangerous. There may be a home for her, but only if you are confident she's not 'bad' or 'mad' just a bit batty.... There are lots of horses around like that. I have one that lives to jump xc, and hates anything else so she would be classed as insane if you tried to send her on a hack with a novice or nervous rider. Then she would be dangerous, but she isn't really. You just have to understand she is the way she is. I took her as a freebee knowing her traits, and I think she's wonderful. And she's awesome xc, i'm looking forward to getting the ride myself once i'm thin again! She's only 15.1 and is 14yo. What I'm trying to say is there are homes out there for any horse as long as they are not inclined to hurt themselves or their riders, you say your mare doesn't buck/bolt/rear and is just strong and inclined to be naughty, so there's still hope.
The owners are obviously going to be no use to you though, loaning a horse isn't signing responsibility away.
 
That's a terrible thing for them to say to you. And obviously they do have somewhere to keep her - its called your stable with them paying the costs.
 
You're in a horrible situation and the owners are very naughty to put so much emotional pressure on you. Would it be worth doing a simple 'pros' and 'cons' list for her and then offering her out to loan honestly? If no takers then a PTS decision will be easier to come to terms with. There may be a suitable home for her somewhere if she has a good number of 'pros'
 
Vodkagirly said:
think you've answered your own question, needs to go back and pts if that bad
Click to expand...

I'm sorry but I agree with this. If you wouldn't be happy to rehome this horse as rideable then PTS is a sensible option. The ultimate responsibility is with the owner, and they are responsible for whatever decision they make. You have nothing to feel bad about, although I understand why you are upset.
It sounds like you have given her a good home and tried to resolve her issues. You have given her every chance and many owners, let alone loaners, would not have tried so hard.
What they are doing is emotional blackmail. How long are they going to expect you to keep this horse - another year, 2 years, 10 years?

My advice would be to give her back, let the owners take responsibility and be proud that you have tried so hard with this horse.
 
Be strong, and send her back to her owners. She's theirs and when you loan a horse out - you expect to have it back at some point, unless it's a permanent loan and even then it's not watertight that it won't come back to you if things go wrong down the line. A loaned horse remains the property of the owner. The plans of mice and men.....

Don't be blackmailed into keeping this mare on. You've spent your valuable time and money trying VERY hard to help her. You've done all you can. I very much doubt they'll have her PTS but even if they do, provided it's done humanely it really ISNT the worst thing that can happen to a tricky horse.

A very unfair and dirty trick to push the guilt onto you tho - making you feel like you're responsible for sending this horse to her untimely death now you've decided to send her back to her owners. Try not to let it get to you though. Maybe if she really is having serious problems she would be better PTS. If it were me I'd call their bluff and say you'd like to arrange the euthenasia to be done peacefully at your yard as you're very attached to her and she's settled at your yard. See what they say to that suggestion. If they agree.... then you know what her prospects genuinely are. If they make excuses not to, maybe that's proof that they're really just calling your bluff.

Really feel for you. [Hug]
 
NatalieS your post could have been written by me last year, i know totally how you feel as we were put in the same situation, we had a mare on loan who was rearing when she was sat on, so we asked the owner to take the horse back only to be told they cant have her back & to call the hunt to shoot her. Thankfully i managed to find a friend who was prepared to take her on & she is really happy with her. Only thing i can suggest is get them to sign her over to you & you rehome if thats possible. Good luck x
 
"has never bucked/reared/bolted just really strong"
in 3 years?!?

Flipping heck! She sounds better behaved than many horses.

I don't know anything about this horse but nothing in this thread makes me think that she couldn't be rehomed ridden with an experienced rider.

The sensible thing to do would be to send her back forthwith and forget all about her.

BUT

Arguably the compassionate thing to do would be to offer to 'buy' her from current owners for, say, 1pound (they won't then have the cost of PTS...) and then find her next home yourself or PTS if an untreatable physical condition is found.

If you've been together this long (even if it hasn't been perfect) then you should be OK keeping things ticking over until you find her a more confident (speed-freak?!?) rider.

Some horses do just like speed. They need riders to match!
 
I had the sweetest pony you could wish for - except that every so often she would erupt and slam me on the deck. I eventually called it a day with her (don't bounce as well as I used to), and was prepared to have her pts rather than risk her getting passed from pillar to post, and end up in a bad situation. (as it happened, a friend took her as a 'Nanny' for their foal at weaning, but I will still go down that path if necessary).
 
That wasn't very fair of them to say that to you...if that is their intention then i'm afraid there is nothing you can do, ultimately she isn't your horse. But that still puts pressure on you which isn't fair.
Maybe they put her on loan because they couldn't ride her due to her being naughty? Maybe they loaned her out as they can't afford her...maybe for them if loaning (giving their horse a chance) didn't work then their only option is to PTS?

They should have just took the horse back and delt with her in private instead of telling you of their future plans.

Maybe you could try and find a home for her...this shouldn't be your job but at least you know in your own mind you did everything you could?
 
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