Wagtail
Horse servant
LMAO, what a nutter!
Very strange liveries
- Thread starter Wagtail
- Start date
topclass
Well-Known Member
Laurenbay the end to your little ditty made me laugh out loud hun priceless. I had a livery who used to come with bags (binbags) full of bread, turnips, pears, apples, biscuits, onions everything from her allotment and then some then feed her horse and and then wonder why it got the runs or colic!! She feed it a whole box of celery once it got bad colic needed operated on and then she blamed me!!! Mad as a box of frogs she was she no longer has horses as was last seen walking naked down the A6027 after she lost her horse she lost the plot it died from colic
Marydoll
Well-Known Member
Many eons ago when I was in my early twenties I was on a yard where another livery took a secret hatred to me.
For many months she slyly made my life hell. The whole time doing a wonderful job of appearing to be my friend. At the time I couldn't drive so she would kindly give me lifts to and from the yard so I wouldn't have to cycle, she hacked out with me, turned out/brought in when I was working. When all the horrible things used to happen she would console me and be my shoulder to cry on (in hindsight she obviously just loved seeing how upset I got)
She finally tripped herself up by trying to stir things up saying to other liveries I had said and done things that I hadn't in an attempt to turn them against me and, I suspect, get me thrown off the yard. Luckily for me her tales didn't stand up so they spoke to the YO with their concerns. YO had a word with her and she left.
A couple of months later she was out in our local town absolutely pissed and bumped into another livery off the yard. She thought it would be hilarious to confess to another livery what she had been doing to me whilst on the yard. Supposedly she was absolutely roaring with laughter as she told them. She confessed to :
- Calling entries secretaries and withdrawing me from several events I had entered. I obviously didn't know this until I called for my times a couple of days before.
- Calling my vet pretending to be me for an 'emergency colic' on a Sunday when my horse was fine. (Luckily this was thwarted as that vet always called to tell you when they were 10 minutes away.)
- She tipped off the RSPCA to my 'neglected' horse.
- She regularly used to puncture my bicycle tyres.
Now these were the only ones she confessed to. Whilst these had been going on there were also other things which I suspect was her but I'll never know, such as:
- feed, hay and rugs were stolen
- A few times my horse's stable bed was sodden through like somebody had poured buckets of water over it
She was an absolute looper, and thankfully once off the yard she left me alone and didn't make any more trouble for me. Either that or she found some other poor soul to torment
That is one serious stalker, and you had a narrow escape by the sounds of it
Guylian
Well-Known Member
Doesn't sound like she ever "had the plot"
I think the guy in the OP sounds really controlling, I'd hate to have a partner like that
and is this in the UK? If it is then you can't even put certain rugs for certain times of the year because the weather is so unpredictable!I think the hide and seek one is my favourite! Oh mad people do make life more interesting don't they
1Lucie
Well-Known Member
Jeez some of this is funny! I unfortuntly have my horse at a normal yard, we dont even have any bitching! Its all very nice!
Feathered
Well-Known Member
Omg!! There are some right nutters out there!
It's seems I have gotten off lightly (touch wood!)
It's seems I have gotten off lightly (touch wood!)
Bright_Spark
Well-Known Member
Is it me, or does the horsey world seem to attract more nutters than other 'interests'? Some of these people mentioned are barking!
Not been on a yard with anyone completely barmy, but on a previous yard, had someone who liked to tell very tall stories- problem was, she'd tell me one thing, and another livery a different version! We never bothered to correct her but took everything she said with a heaping bowl of salt!
Not been on a yard with anyone completely barmy, but on a previous yard, had someone who liked to tell very tall stories- problem was, she'd tell me one thing, and another livery a different version! We never bothered to correct her but took everything she said with a heaping bowl of salt!
DragonSlayer
Well-Known Member
Exactly - I mean shoes for kids??? they can go barefoot and get a trimmer out every so often can;t they
I rarely wore shoes as a kid (hated them still do) and regularly had my nails trimmed...
Montyforever
Well-Known Member
Glamourpuss - I think she's on my yard 
! That or she's got a twin ..
! That or she's got a twin ..
Gusbear
Well-Known Member
I've only come across one at our current yard. An alternative therapy woman (never seen her before or since) who introduced herself to my horse and then proceeded to tell me he said to her he was very happy (nice to know). She then disappeared into one of the stables to treat one of the other neddy's by asking them which oils they liked the smell of. Not sure how it ended up but at £50 per 'treatment' I hope said neddy made the right choice!
MrsHutt
Well-Known Member
My yard is pretty normal, but I do know of a lady whose husband threatened 'it's the horse or me' and she chose the horse. So she moved in to the loft above the stable!
Chavhorse
Well-Known Member
LOL I did the self same thing with my ex he gave me the horse or me ultimatum and I moved into a cottage at the yard the same afternoon
Above&Beyond
Active Member
There is some very funny ones!
I had livery client who bought his first horse, we had it in a separate section of the yard in 'quarantine' when it first arrived, then after about a month we moved the horse into a stable on the main yard. When he arrived to see his horse I took him to the new stable, he did not believe me that that was his horse! I reassured him that it was indeed his horse. I couldn't believe he was unable to recognise his own horse (he did come regularly to ride). In the end I took him to the YO who finally convinced him that it was his horse!
Another owner did not let her horse stay out in the field for longer than 1h, because the horse (i quote) 'gets bored'! (even though the horse would just happily graze) ...so instead it had to stay in its stable all day.
I had livery client who bought his first horse, we had it in a separate section of the yard in 'quarantine' when it first arrived, then after about a month we moved the horse into a stable on the main yard. When he arrived to see his horse I took him to the new stable, he did not believe me that that was his horse! I reassured him that it was indeed his horse. I couldn't believe he was unable to recognise his own horse (he did come regularly to ride). In the end I took him to the YO who finally convinced him that it was his horse!
Another owner did not let her horse stay out in the field for longer than 1h, because the horse (i quote) 'gets bored'! (even though the horse would just happily graze) ...so instead it had to stay in its stable all day.
Equilibrium Ireland
Well-Known Member
The hide and seek livery wins hands down!
We had a girl here for about 6 months. YO told us she was a top young eventer and had a super young event horse. Cool I though. She arrives and she never stops talking on and on about all she's done. Had this major back injury in the summer eventing and was just getting back. Horse arrives with big swollen leg and I hear it's because he lost a shoe. Two days later she says it's mud fever from living in new county. Ok whatever. Asks husband to give a 5ml shot of Pen because she can't but wants to know if husband will beat him. WTF? And 5 ml's of pen? Told him not to help her with anything. Anyway she used to say things like I know you all think I'm crazy for leaving my door open while I get water but he'd never go out. Yup, out he comes in a flurry, gets a hip stuck on a door panics and now gallops out the barn with sparks. Then she says, oh he's messing but I can catch him without anything. Horse proceeds to spend the next 10 mins running around like a lunatic and flirting with danger.
Also heard this was a super young horse she turned down loads of money for just months earlier. So I just happen to look up the records of said horse. He is 11 not 6, only jumped to 1 m and never finished a CC course. She badmouthed me to the hilt but I really could care less. I let all her little stupidness go but one day she was trying to be a smart ass in front of people saying no one likes me because I shoot from the hip and am direct. So I kindly let her know a few home truths. You want direct baby you can have it! Needless to say she promptly deleted me off Facebook and told everyone I was a meany. Poor horse was a saint that she told everyone he was a fire breathing dragons. He also used to swim in with the boats in her native county. That's right. Meet her dads fishing boat everyday and leads them in.
Makes the livery with the 200 euro Serenity ring box in the rafters quite sane. Also keeps little glass bottles of oils in horse's stable. And I happen to know where all the underground streams are in the barn thanks to said livery. It goes on and on, but hey that's just fine. She would do anything for her horse and people alike.
Terri
We had a girl here for about 6 months. YO told us she was a top young eventer and had a super young event horse. Cool I though. She arrives and she never stops talking on and on about all she's done. Had this major back injury in the summer eventing and was just getting back. Horse arrives with big swollen leg and I hear it's because he lost a shoe. Two days later she says it's mud fever from living in new county. Ok whatever. Asks husband to give a 5ml shot of Pen because she can't but wants to know if husband will beat him. WTF? And 5 ml's of pen? Told him not to help her with anything. Anyway she used to say things like I know you all think I'm crazy for leaving my door open while I get water but he'd never go out. Yup, out he comes in a flurry, gets a hip stuck on a door panics and now gallops out the barn with sparks. Then she says, oh he's messing but I can catch him without anything. Horse proceeds to spend the next 10 mins running around like a lunatic and flirting with danger.
Also heard this was a super young horse she turned down loads of money for just months earlier. So I just happen to look up the records of said horse. He is 11 not 6, only jumped to 1 m and never finished a CC course. She badmouthed me to the hilt but I really could care less. I let all her little stupidness go but one day she was trying to be a smart ass in front of people saying no one likes me because I shoot from the hip and am direct. So I kindly let her know a few home truths. You want direct baby you can have it! Needless to say she promptly deleted me off Facebook and told everyone I was a meany. Poor horse was a saint that she told everyone he was a fire breathing dragons. He also used to swim in with the boats in her native county. That's right. Meet her dads fishing boat everyday and leads them in.
Makes the livery with the 200 euro Serenity ring box in the rafters quite sane. Also keeps little glass bottles of oils in horse's stable. And I happen to know where all the underground streams are in the barn thanks to said livery. It goes on and on, but hey that's just fine. She would do anything for her horse and people alike.
Terri
ShowJumperBeckii
Well-Known Member
Not really a livery but my nan worries about me leaving my horses out late just incase they are scared of the dark 
Pedantic
Well-Known Member
Enshrine of Tools......
Arizahn
Well-Known Member
Not really a livery but my nan worries about me leaving my horses out late just incase they are scared of the dark
That's quite sweet, really
I do hope I'm not counted as the crazy livery
I talk to all the horses, it's just habit, I don't expect a reply or anything! I also talk out loud to myself whilst doing yard work, just to organise my thoughts. EG - Oh I'd better go get the wheelbarrow, etc.Izzwizz
Well-Known Member
Haha - was it on the 15th? Stranger than strange!!!!
MissTyc
Well-Known Member
I've had more than my fair share of nutjob liveries ...
One lady always rode out in a bra ... a skanky old lacy primark bra that did not always do its job and she regularly arrived back from a hack with euh exposed nipples ... Nothing put her off riding out in that bra though - she liked to tan! I gave her a hi-viz LOL which she cut so it would drape on her shoulders while still exposing her front. Backfired plan lol ...
Another was a lovely lady that always paid on time, etc. Then she decided yard wasn't suitable for her horse. OK. She left at 6am without letting me know (but had paid up, so fair enough) ... lined up all our yard tools - brooms, rakes, etc - and drive her horsebox over them. I called her about it and she laughed as though it was the biggest funniest joke in the world. I didn't call her again ... Decided to be grateful we'd not seen that side of her until then and cut my losses!
One lady always rode out in a bra ... a skanky old lacy primark bra that did not always do its job and she regularly arrived back from a hack with euh exposed nipples ... Nothing put her off riding out in that bra though - she liked to tan! I gave her a hi-viz LOL which she cut so it would drape on her shoulders while still exposing her front. Backfired plan lol ...
Another was a lovely lady that always paid on time, etc. Then she decided yard wasn't suitable for her horse. OK. She left at 6am without letting me know (but had paid up, so fair enough) ... lined up all our yard tools - brooms, rakes, etc - and drive her horsebox over them. I called her about it and she laughed as though it was the biggest funniest joke in the world. I didn't call her again ... Decided to be grateful we'd not seen that side of her until then and cut my losses!
pip6
Well-Known Member
There was a mother & daughter who had a gelding, the only one in a yard of mares. Mother used to spend her time/money at nightclubs, when she bothered coming down it was often 10am with ruined makeup, high heels & looking like a witch. Her daughter was left to fend for herself for upto 2 weeks at a time, when aged 13. Daughter came down after not being seen for a while, walked out to the field just after friend & I (who owned the 4 mares between us), to ask which horse was hers. She had a bright bay heinz 57 gelding. Mine was a dark brown pba & grey pure bred arab, friend owned black Welsh C & dark liver chestnut Welsh D, all mares. Still, easy mistake to make if you don't know what colour your horse is or which sex....
Then there was a p1cky who had an ardennes & tiny arab x. Claimed he had done a really long ride once (when he found out I did endurance), he rode from Wokingham to High Wycombe & back in 4 hours on the arab x. Pretty amazing really, I drove it every week to go to the judo club & it takes an absolute minimum of 45 minutes in the car including a long stretch on the dual carriageway. Rubby fast horse that tiny xbred!
Then there was a p1cky who had an ardennes & tiny arab x. Claimed he had done a really long ride once (when he found out I did endurance), he rode from Wokingham to High Wycombe & back in 4 hours on the arab x. Pretty amazing really, I drove it every week to go to the judo club & it takes an absolute minimum of 45 minutes in the car including a long stretch on the dual carriageway. Rubby fast horse that tiny xbred!
Holly Hocks
Well-Known Member
In that case you must have been the weirdo
Ooh possibly - I never thought of that! Well my horses are barefoot and I give them homeopathy pills and use magnetic wraps......oh God you're right - it all adds up - I am the yard weirdo!!
debsg
Well-Known Member
Glamourpuss - I think she's on my yard
Montyforever, your nutter's name doesn't begin with K, does it? The last DIY yard I was on (we now rent our own place) I was befriended by a girl, K, who was very caring and helpful, did favours for other liveries and was generally everyone's best mate. Until she had been there a while. She started to fall out with people over the most trivial things, and once you had rowed with her she made your life an utter misery. All the 'decent' people on the yard started to leave because of her, including a friend who had been at this yard for 14 years! She would spread malicious gossip, deliberately upset horses (she once 'accidently' dropped a wheelbarrow down the muck truck ramp as her latest 'enemy' rode by on a youngster, who freaked out. K was smirking all afternoon. She had given me a rug for one of my horses, who was fully clipped, and when I became her latest victim, she removed the rug late one night and left him naked and shivering. Unfortunately, she passed information on to the YO, so he was reluctant to kick her out.
Three years ago, myself and three friends had as much of her as we could take, and left the yard, taking 7 horses between us. The YO finally got the message and kicked her out shortly afterwards. She was doing two full time jobs and taking speed to cope with the hours, I think it just sent her loopy! We used to call her Psycho K, to differentiate between her and another (nice) girl with the same name. She was truly very scary. I don't think it would have taken much for her to start harming horses to get revenge. I have heard that she has been kicked off several places since.
I hope Montyforever hasn't got her! I wouldn't wish that evil cow on anyone!!
Carefreegirl
Well-Known Member
Pip6 - dual carriage way 70 mph - he's clearly telling the truth
legyield
Well-Known Member
Some of these have got me laughing out loud! Brilliant.
We had a strange woman on our yard last year. 50-something, never worked as her husband was very rich, had an ex racehorse-turned-riding school horse who was in his late teens. She seemed fairly normal at first and then turned into an absolute crack pot!
Not only was she very OCD - horse had to be done in a very particular fashion, in a routine to the exact minute every day. Poor horse was absolutely smothered. Couldn't go out at night as he as "scared of the dark", couldn't go out on anything that wasn't remotely flat as "he might hurt himself", couldn't be turned out with others as he was "too precious"
She really went off it when, last summer, our YM got evicted for not paying the rent. Half the yard wanted the yard to function as a co-op and the other half wanted to vote someone in as a YM. I was on the side of new YM, as the yard had descended into absolute chaos in the month with nobody running it and everyone fending for themselves. Said Loopy Woman wanted co-op. Long story short, it was decided that co-op wasn't a good idea as many of the people on the yard were novices and had previously relied on knowledge and services of a YM quite heavily. Loopy Woman went absolutely bonkers. Used to shout the odds at anyone -- I'd be stood seeing to my youngster, not doing anything to provoke her, and she'd come and start shouting about how unfair it was. Try to humiliate me in front of Yard Owner because I'd been having discount livery (as my horse wasn't stabled, lived out, and I did YM's mucking out Mon-Fri), used to try and intimidate us, brought her OH up to the yard and set him on us like a terrier with a bone.. everything! Was very paranoid and if she saw us standing in a group, having a cuppa or anything, she used to march from across the field and shout at us to stop gossiping about her. She used to go through every single shaving in his bed until it was immaculate. I went past her house one day and found her sweeping the road!?
Anyway, needless to say she left the yard and went...
...a whole 10 feet to the field next door, which had two stables adjoining it. Used to see her peeping through the hedge to see what was going on with us. She has since moved her horse a mile up the road and keeps him in solitary confinement, no other horse in sight. He's been severely lame since before xmas, vet has advised to have him PTS as his condition wasn't going to improve (legs were absolutely knackered) and she still keeps him. In fact saw them hobbling around the village a few weeks ago, stupid woman.
We had a strange woman on our yard last year. 50-something, never worked as her husband was very rich, had an ex racehorse-turned-riding school horse who was in his late teens. She seemed fairly normal at first and then turned into an absolute crack pot!
Not only was she very OCD - horse had to be done in a very particular fashion, in a routine to the exact minute every day. Poor horse was absolutely smothered. Couldn't go out at night as he as "scared of the dark", couldn't go out on anything that wasn't remotely flat as "he might hurt himself", couldn't be turned out with others as he was "too precious"
She really went off it when, last summer, our YM got evicted for not paying the rent. Half the yard wanted the yard to function as a co-op and the other half wanted to vote someone in as a YM. I was on the side of new YM, as the yard had descended into absolute chaos in the month with nobody running it and everyone fending for themselves. Said Loopy Woman wanted co-op. Long story short, it was decided that co-op wasn't a good idea as many of the people on the yard were novices and had previously relied on knowledge and services of a YM quite heavily. Loopy Woman went absolutely bonkers. Used to shout the odds at anyone -- I'd be stood seeing to my youngster, not doing anything to provoke her, and she'd come and start shouting about how unfair it was. Try to humiliate me in front of Yard Owner because I'd been having discount livery (as my horse wasn't stabled, lived out, and I did YM's mucking out Mon-Fri), used to try and intimidate us, brought her OH up to the yard and set him on us like a terrier with a bone.. everything! Was very paranoid and if she saw us standing in a group, having a cuppa or anything, she used to march from across the field and shout at us to stop gossiping about her. She used to go through every single shaving in his bed until it was immaculate. I went past her house one day and found her sweeping the road!?
Anyway, needless to say she left the yard and went...
...a whole 10 feet to the field next door, which had two stables adjoining it. Used to see her peeping through the hedge to see what was going on with us. She has since moved her horse a mile up the road and keeps him in solitary confinement, no other horse in sight. He's been severely lame since before xmas, vet has advised to have him PTS as his condition wasn't going to improve (legs were absolutely knackered) and she still keeps him. In fact saw them hobbling around the village a few weeks ago, stupid woman.
imr
Well-Known Member
We had a lovely but utterly crackers french lady who believed her horse had navicular. She was also utterly obsessed with its legs swelling and was always wrapping them up with lotions and potions she would mail order - including ones containing lead (now I'm pretty sure that's not a good idea) - the horse was crackers too. Anyway, she had it re x rayed at one point and it turned out the "navicular" x rays she had from before were for a different horse altogether.. She was distraught at this apparently good news and just carried on insisting the old x rays must be correct...
Gusbear
Well-Known Member
Holly Hocks. Don't worry re Magnetic Therapy. It's used by a wide range of top racehorse trainers in Oz (maybe they're all nuts) and they swear by it. It's an accepted practice in Australia in racing and for leisure riders so not out of the ordinary. Worked well for me with arthritic hand. If it works, then all the better.
The Xmas Furry
Old Timer
Lead lotion was still extensively used in the late 70's & early 80's for legs
- soaked in onto gamgee & bandaged over the top. Did a good job then for reducing swelling, used as an anti inflammatory..........
Montyforever
Well-Known Member
Debsg - scarily similar again! But nope didn't start with a K either triplets or this person likes changing their name
strides-eventing
Well-Known Member
Haha some of these are hilarious! We've had some odduns here too, ones that put rocks in the corners of the stables - something about stopping witches from harrassing the horse?! :S also ones that had to bring their horse in overnight because the horse was "exhausted from grazing". You do meet some funny people! Each to their own I guess, as long as it's not negatively effecting the horse!
Goldenstar
Well-Known Member
Haha some of these are hilarious! We've had some odduns here too, ones that put rocks in the corners of the stables - something about stopping witches from harrassing the horse?! :S also ones that had to bring their horse in overnight because the horse was "exhausted from grazing". You do meet some funny people! Each to their own I guess, as long as it's not negatively effecting the horse!
Ahhh witch ridden horses , haven't come across that one since 1374 I had better go to bed!
Seriously funny and sometimes scary thread.