Very tough morning.

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LauraWheeler

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Well i finaly did what i've been putting off for days. I've packed up all Lucys stuff ready for the move on Sat. :( I put all her tack and rugs in one place ready. It was so hard and i cried and cried, her rugs still had her hair on them I sat for a while and stroked it, I even smelt it in the hopes i could smell her. I shut my eyes and tried to imagen she was back with me, I'd give anything to see her once more.
I was dreading doing it but i never imagened it would hurt this much.
When i had finished i went over to see Herbs. He came over to the fence and we had a little cuddle. I was still crying and he kept smelling my hair and nuzzling my face just like Lucy used to when i was upset. I stood there for ages just thinking about Lucy and staring at the stubble field wishing Lucy and i could have one last gallop across it. For some reason I looked up at the sky and all of a sudden the Red Arrows flew passed in formation. I love the red arrows but hardly ever see them. I just burst into tears again it was as if Lucy had sent them passed as I have no idea why they would be flying passed.
Now I am just sat here feeling numb. Charlie Brown is sat on my lap trying to lick the tears off my face and asking for a cuddle. I wouldn't mind but he also keeps trying to nick my Pink and white chocolate mice. The little monkey.
Just got to finish packing my room up now.
Sorry for the poinless post. I just needed to write it down
 
Massive hugs, I can't imagine how hard it must have been. Bless herbie, he must have known you were sad. Good luck with your move xxx
 
(((((((((((((((((((((laura!!!)))))))))))))))))))))))

You were really brave to get that done, and of course it was painful for you. It's a good thing that you cried so much, it'll help let out some of the grief. that was the hardest thing that you've had to do, so very well done !!

yes, I'm sure lucy sent those red arrows for you, and she has been watching out for you every step of the way, i promise you that. And she'll have told herbs to watch out for you too. keep talking to us, we all so much want to help you. Sending much love sm x
 
Oh hun, have a big {{{{hug}}}} and a good cry. It is so hard to let go and must feel so final. You are lucky to have other animals in your life to love but Lucy will always be with you in memory.

I still find my old labs hairs occasionally (one year on) but can now smile at them rather than feel sad.

How lucky are you to have been Lucys Mum and to have won the trust of a pony that had such a rotten start.

Take care x
 
Remember if you ever want to PM me i am here for you, you are so brave to move her stuff, i can't even look at brackens yet :( my morning has been awful .. playing sad songs looking at photos and crying my eyes out :(

I am positive that lucy is running around in heaven looking down on you, big big hugs for you xxxxx
 
Thankyou for the kind words everyone.

shysmum the timing of the red arrows was just unreal. I was thinking about one of are fav past times, galloping across stubble and jumping straw bails and they appeared. Suddenly for a moment it was like Lucy was beside me again.

mollichop Charlie and Herbs have been so sweet lately. Trying realy hard to make me feel better. I feel bad though as they just arn't Lucy. :( I love them so much but it's just not the same. :(

BeckyX It was a case of I had to do it. Oh keeps asking if i've done it yet. I didn't want anyone else touching her stuff (not that anyone offered to do it anyway) ((((((hugs)))))) to you. In my room i need to pack all Lucys Photos away not looking forward to that either :(
 
:( i know what you mean, brackens stuff is still sitting in the tack-room.. there was talk of giving his tack away a few weeks ago, but i will not let that happen, i don't want any other pony to wear it.. it was his. Big hugs to you for doing it, and for moving photos later, you are such a strong person. x x
 
:(:( It's horrid isn't it. But these things take time. Don't expect it to get better instantly, it won't. even reading your post now has had me on the brink of tears (in the office an'all!) thinking about when I sold my horse before I went to uni, and when I had to clear the stable out when Buzzy was pts.

at least Herbie was there to cuddle, and let you! and charlie brown knows how you are feeling and is trying to cheer you up.
 
Oh god - I didn't even know you'd lost her. I'm so, so, so sorry :(

Big hugs coming your way. She knows you loved her and was a very lucky girl to have you!

I'm sure she's up there watching over you.

Try and raise a smile, for her :)

xxxxx
 
jenhunt (((((hugs))))) sorry i made you nearly cry.

Megan_T thankyou

Fransurrey I love charlie and Herbs in there own way but everytime i'm with them i just wish for Lucy and then i feel realy bad, Like they deserve so much better :( :(
 
You poor thing. well done for doing it though. It was always going to be hard but I think you will be very happy and it will be good for you to have a bit of a fresh start. Not to forget Lucy, just to be able to think about her in a happy light, rather than in a sad way
(((((((((((((((((lots of hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))
 
Laura, time is a great healer although of course you'll never forget Lucy in time it will become easier to smile and think about your memories without so many tears, my "one in a lifetime mare" died nearly 16 years ago, I have all her things in my loft (literally everything including groom kit, rugs, tack the lot) I have sometimes opened up the bags and end up sobbing like a baby cause her hairs are still there and in tact and I can almost still smell her on them, so although the tears will always want to fall it does become easier (although of course it doesn't feel like it will for you at the moment ) take care of yourself (((( hugs )))) x
 
So sorry to be reading this.

It does get a little better when the shock of it all has gone and you start to get used to them not being around. Don't think you are silly at all for trying to smell her again. When I picked up A's saddle about 8 months - year after his smell was still on his numnah and I didn't wash it for ages.

Time doesn't alwasy heal but it gives you a better perspective. Perhaps Lucy did send the arrows over as a "hey Mum you can still smile" guesture.

A big squish from here
 
Hugs and vibes to you!! Lucy was a fab pony and couldn't have had a better, more caring owner. Her story made me cry, and I can't imagine what you must be going through. She's in a better place now, and well done for being so brave. xx
 
Thankyou Maletto I know what you mean a fresh start to get on with poor Herbs who is getting a bit left out at the mo :( But I will never forget my beautiful angel.

devilwoman and Paddydou thankyou I don't feel quite so silly for smelling her hair now.

Thankyou VioletStripe she was an increadable pony. A true one in 8 million in so many ways.
 
Don't know if it helps but my first horse was pts 5 years ago and I still have all her tack and rugs which I haven't cleaned as feel like it will be washing her away, they are just stored away neatly... one day I'm sure they will get cleaned and used again, not yet though
 
Thankyou JVB



I've just been up packing my room up and came across all Lucys rosettes which was very hard but then i came across a photo of her taken egsactly a year ago on an endurance ride. I just collapsed on the floor and wept. I've had to come away but am dreading my OH phoning as he'll ask if i've finished yet and i havn't Ijust feel like i can't breath. This pain is to much. I just want my baby back.
 
Laura, don't feel silly, it is still such early days. I think you said you had some of Lucy's mane? I have some of my old boy's mane it is in a ziplock type plastic bag, I rarely open it now but it still smells of him! I also still have one favourite rug that hasn't been cleaned - it's seven years ago now. His other rugs are being used now by ponies that were his friends, it took a long time to want to use them again but it feels quite nice now.

Big hugs to you, you're doing so well.
 
Thankyou Vizslak

appylass thankyou the bit of mane is still at the vets as is her headcoller, shoes and hopefuly her chifney. I still can't face going to get them but i'll have to soon. I realy want to see my wonderful vet as she went above and beond the call of duty for Lucy but i think i'll just breakdown if i go. :(
 
Thankyou shysmum. It doesn't feel like i'm doing well at all. :( :( I just miss her so much and i need her more than ever. She's always been here for me. Today i was wishing i never went on holiday. I missed out on one last week with her. I'd hardly been apart from her for that long in the entire time i had her :( I just feel so guilty still. :(
 
Thankyou eahotson. I am the luckyest person alive as i had the privalidge of looking after her for 12 years and I was able to help her shine like the star i knew she could be.
 
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