Vet's just been to see my old boy

[dozzie]

I dont want to go into details but i have just had the vet out to my 32 yr old to test for liver failure. There are signs of LF. He has taken bloods and will get back to me asap.

Part of me wants it to be positive and I feel bad about that but i think it is because the decision will then be made for me. It will almost be a relief that he has gone...that i dont have that decision to go through in future. I know that if he doesnt gain weight I cant put him through another winter so may have to make a decision soon anyway.

The other part of me wants it to be treatable but then i will be worried about the winter again. If he picks up i will want to take him through another winter as i am not sure i will have the guts to pts.

Now this is going to sound even worse...I have had him for 30 years and i am just not sure i can keep going with him. It is so heartbreaking to see him underweight and even worse as he is now thin. He is the most difficult horse to manage weight wise as he just doesnt eat. It will almost be a relief.

I am basically trying to sort out in my own head why i am feeling like this as i do feel bad but my heart is saying one thing whilst my head is saying another.

Of course until the bloods come back no decision can be made and even if positive i will give him a chance. But I do feel bad feeling that it would be easier if this is the end.

Sorry if i am sounding a bit muddled!


Sad Dozziexxxx

Has anyone else felt like this?

 

[landyandy]

my friend went through exactly the same thing a couple of years ago, sadly his results came back positive for liver failure. she made the very hard decision to have him pts, he didn't suffer any more and she was able to make the most of the last few days she had left with him. hope every thing is ok for you and your boy, and i'm sure when the time comes you will make the right decision. just remember the good times

 

[mattilda]

My boy is 29 and I have had him since he was 3. i know he wll not live forever but get upset just thinking about losing him. I did have digestive problems with him 3 years ago but put him on pink powder and, although he loses some condition in the winter, he is looking OK for an old boy. I kinda understand where you are coming from. Its not nice to see your beautiful horse growing old and frail and not being able to do anything for them. 32 is a great age for a horse. Sending vibes your way and the strength to do right by him.

 

[teabiscuit]

yes, my 29 year olds blood tests came back last month, he's losing protien, his liver is fine so that leaves digestive tract

he had a tummy oedema and his sheath swelled to 3 x normal and he was so frail it was hard to look at him

i've had him 28 and a half years and he's always been top dog so it hurts to see the others pushing him away from his grub if they get the chance

i too am thinking about winter, he's picking up now with the grass and i'm chucking spillers senior mix for weight game down his throat

but next winter, i don't think i can put him through it

there's a thread in veterinary that recomends stuff for weight gain in old horses-i've had a look and will try grass cubes in the autumn to see if they help keep his wieght up

grass, just can't beat it for the oldies

they can't live forever, we have to be kind enough to let them go before they suffer too much

 

[angiebaby]

Yes, I felt like this when my pony had a Suspensory injury last May; it was undiagnosed for 6 months. I had made the decision to have him pts, not just because of the injury, but because he was a laminitic, and needs to be exercised to keep his weight down; and a typical welshie ( bolshy!) and was not good stabled or being bored. But my OH persuaded me to get a second opinion, which I did and he had on operation last October.
Although not 100% sound he makes a light hack. I'm not sure whether it was the right decision, sometimes I wish I had not listened to OH as I have three others to look after too, and he is the opposite to yours weight wise!
Whatever you decide nobody will judge you, and know that you will have done the wright thing. Hugs

 

[vennessa]

It sounds to me that in your heart the time has come but trying to find a way to make it less of a decision.
I feel so much for you, i think it is the hardest decision we can make - but often the kindest. Animals are luckier than people in that way. Many people beg to be put out of their misery but are forced to suffer terribly. Animals have the option to go quietly. You have done well to get him to such an age.
Take time to think, it is your decision, one which i think you already know but finding a way to take the responsibility from you - meant in the nicest way

All the best to you

 

[meandmyself]

Better a day too soon than an hour too late IMO.

{{hugs}} to you.

 

[dozzie]

I suppose I feel bad in that I am hoping that this is the end and i can deal with the inevitable at last.

And yet there is the "What if..." but how much time will that give him? A few weeks/months?

And then there is the economics to consider? That is where my head kicks in...and that is why I feel bad...

Please dont destroy me...Im wearing my heart on my sleeve here...I just need an objective POV.

 

[merlinsquest]

Know where you are coming from.... dont feel bad, its your way of protecting your emotions

 

[Ottinmeg]

i dont think anyone on here will want to destroy you, 30 years is a long time to own an animal and as others have said well done for getting him to such an age. i understand your way of thinking,half hoping the result is positive and making the decision for you. a few years ago my friend had to make the decision to have her 15.5 yr old lab put to sleep. all she could say was 'ive had that dog longer than my kids' which pretty much puts it all in perspective really. you will make the right decision for your boy when the time comes. <<hugs>>

 

[vennessa]

Sometimes we need to wear our heart on our sleeves

You are going through one of the most difficult times of your life. Its good that you can express your feelings. Say what you feel, i am sure you will get nothing but support. Big hugs.

 

[sunlover]

I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. What lovely support you have had from folks. I have to agree with meandmyself in that it is a very hard decision but should you decide to say goodbye it really is better a day too soon and all that. Its never a decision to make lightly and don't beat yourself up over the economics. Thinking of you.

 

[YorksG]

We had to make this decision for our 33 year old Appy last year, we had had her for 23 years and she had developed arthritis and had been retired for three years. We actually deylad the end for eight weeks as the weather picked up, but I worried every day that she would come down in the field as she got more and more wobbly. She no longer held weight, having been a real good doer till the last three years. It was a sad decision but it was also a relief as we never knew if she was going to make it to the next 23 hours. She enjoyed life, but spent less time with the group, she was still pleased to see us and to play tricks, but another winter would have been too much for her and for us.
Please don't feel bad about feeling relief that this is the end. Your have looked after him for all these years and are still looking after him and you.

 

[debradley]

Oh poor you - I know exactly where your head is at the mo it's horrible. Polly was 35 when we lost her a couple of years ago (girls first pony); and it really was coming to the point were I was having to come very close to making a decision as I knew she wouldn't have gone through another winter. However, bless her heart late August she took the decision out of my hands and I found her laid in the field in the evening after a lovely summers day.

I can't help you with any decisions, but just to say you're not alone and all those emotions you feel at the mo are perfectly normal and not anything to feel guilty about; both of you will know what to do when the time comes (but it doesn't make it any easier).

You know where we all are when you need us. Take care and sending you lots of hugs. Sorry I can't cheer you up.

 

[phaseone]

[ QUOTE ]
Take time to think, it is your decision, one which i think you already know but finding a way to take the responsibility from you

[/ QUOTE ]

I totally support Silver_florin here. When you are so emotionally involved it is asking a lot of yourself to make any decision. Either way you risk guilt. Guilt that your horse suffered more than necessary or guilt that you feel relieved of your burden. This is normal and natural.

Why not ask your vet honestly to make a decision for you based upon assessment of the horse's quality of life. Vets can and do do this and can make it easier for you by helping you through the process. I totally love my horse but if it came down to quality of life and I had to decide but didn't want the responsibility, I'd hand it to the vet to advise me. I wouldn't ever want my lad to suffer more than necessary.

You are in a position I dread to be in myself. It must be agonising but it sounds as though you have given your horse a good life and been there for them. If your horse can get through another winter comfortably, that's a bonus. If not, you haven't failed them in any way, but protected their dignity and quality of life.

 

[debradley]

Very well said passive persistence - whole heartedly agree.

 

[Eaglestone]

I cannot read the responses as I am so emotional about the thought of losing my old boy who is now 27, however I will keep this thread for when I need it

<<<<< HUGS >>>>>>>

 

[Ellies_mum2]

Totally agree with passive_persistance


Thinking of you ((((hugs))))

 

[dozzie]

Thank you to everyone. It has helped to put things into perspective. I hope he lets me know when it is time and i hope i can make the decision a day too soon rather than a minute too late. I also hope it has helped other people who are facing a similar decision.

DMXXXXXX

 

[josephine]

Oh how very sad, I do feel for you. I am sure we have all been where you are right now, or will be at some time in our lives. Whatever you decide it will be hard and all you can do is think of the good times and teh fact that you have done your best by your boy.

Thinking of you.

 

[ladyt25]

I think they do let you know when they've had enough but do ask your vets opinion, we have had 2 put down but they had given up and maybe luckily in that way the decision had been made for us as their whole demeanor had just changed, you could see it in their eyes.

I think we all know in our heart of hearts when we need to do what's necessary no matter how hard it may be.

 

[brighteyes]

By the sound of it, he's not quite there yet and you are already getting your head around the options. Your vet should be able to advise on the best course of action and whether it is possible (or unfair) to keep him going.

I was all ready (well, resigned enough) to let ours go at Christmas and the vet thought I was being hasty. Six months on and the old b****r is running rings around us again. She's high maintenance but worth the effort as she is so special and mostly in good health.

I'm thinking he'll let you know well enough when he's ready to go and any decision then is taken out of your hands.

Have a (((hug))) from me, as I'm constantly aware of the borrowed time ours is on, and I know how you feel. He's a very lucky pony to have such a loving and responsible mummy. Chin up, eh? x