Walking out of a lesson

I think you did exactly right - a similar thing happened to me and I tried to leave the lesson, but got persuaded to stay in, and to cut a long story short, it was a bad decision on my part and ended up with Flops and I on our faces in a badly laid out grid. Luckily no damage or knocks to our confidence but I wish I'd had the courage of my convictions as you did.
 
Don't feel bad - I've done it too and I was much less polite about it than you!
At my old yard you had to use their instructors (riding school). Flatwork wasn't our strong point but we'd been working on it and improving until my instructor left. The new instructor told me to carry my hands in a way that my horse was fighting against and was near physically impossible as I have very short arms. She then told me we would have to get used to it because it was correct
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I stupidly went for a second group lesson and she told me I was hurting my horse because I wasn't doing what she told me and that if I'd been riding X's nice horse I'd have been bucked off by now. I said something quite rude (but in the cirumstances quite restrained!) and left at a spanking trot.

Good on you for getting out of there - and for keeping your temper
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In my humble opinion, you did absolutely the right thing. Your lesson sounded very like some of the ones my daughter's had when we lived in your area ... maybe it was the same person?!
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If it makes you feel any better, I pulled my daughter out of a XC schooling session today ... it was all getting out of hand, daughter's pony was getting seriously wound up by the antics of the other ponies and I knew it was going to end on a seriously bad note and leave us with problems to sort out next time, so we politely left .... in one piece ..... headache pills for daughter and wine for me now in order!
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I've walked out twice!
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one was actually because i felt my horse was stiff/sore- which the instructor agreed with so it wasn't really walking out just leaving- it was at PC camp so just took him back to the stables... the instructor was happy with this though so wasn't really walking out... my PC was actually rather impressed as although he wasn't lame i just felt he could do with the afternoon off.
the other time was when a lady grabbed hold of my ponies reins and yanked down hard- i was horrified as was he. (he had been abused and this was one of the worst things to do to him)...
its not rude, if your not happy- then your not happy.
you sound like you were polite- but omg why so many horses?! it sounds rather odd.. trotting round with no contact...
re the tack, i often get asked why i use what i use- he crosses his jaw but fights grackles/flashs after explaining though my instructors are happy with my choices- they wouldn't look down on it as they respect that i know him well enough to decide...
she sounds a bit bonkers?!
don't feel like you did the wrong thing though! you didn't!
 
You did the right thing for sure - seeing how well I know P there is absolutely no point in schooling or jumping unless you get her attention from the outset, she is a shirker and if you trot around on a loose rein then you may as well go for a hack! As for the grackle, it suits her, she deffo does yaw around when she feels like it, it is why I always rode her in a drop or grackle (although I did use a cavesson for hacking and sometimes dressage when I was feeling brave LOL!). So there you go, tack choices are fine. Also I would always recommend spurs!

As for the lessons itself - what exactly did this instructor think she was going to achieve
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Stop feeling guilty right NOW!
 
I think the trouble is she is held in quite high esteem locally (have to be careful, not too sure who uses the forums!) so for me not to like her teaching methods goes against the grain somewhat and I worry too much about what other people think!
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Well she can't be that bloody good - I mean who on earth schools ponies AND big horses over the same distance trotting poles? That's ridiculous!
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Kate x
 
I can understand an instructor questioning why you have certain tack on, I had an instructor who did so frequently! But if I justified my answers and horse seemed happy, he was fine with it, or would sometimes offer me ideas for better options.
As for the 'lesson'.... O.o I don't think there's much to say!
I think you did the right thing. I've only ever walked out of a lesson once, odd circumstances but had taken my horse to my usual riding school lesson after a few weeks of using their horses - had had lessons on my horse there in the past anyway - and instructor who KNEW my horse had me fiddling with her into a fence and she hated it but me thinking 'instructor knows best' got on with it even though it seemed wrong. Horse couldn't get the stride, f*cked it up completely and obliterated the fence, scaring the living daylights out of us all. When I tried to tell instructor that that way wasn't going to work for us, she turned round and said 'if you don't want to be taught then don't listen!' or something like that!
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Needless to say, I didn't bother going back, instructor had been bitching at me for weeks anyway.
Hopefully if there's a next time an instructor does that kind of thing, I'll see sense sooner!

I'd stick to your usual instructor, she sounds much better!
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I've walked out before. Was having lesson on my parents field, and had to swap horses. I got given a really laxy cob which I struggled with and I was very nervous then anyway. We had to jump, and it barely made it over a 1ft cross pole. Instructor whacked it up to about 3ft3 straight bar and I refused to jump it. She said I would never be any good and to get out her lesson. I told her it was my parents land so if anyone was leaving it was her, and took my horse back
6 weeks later we had a ODE, I went clear XC, had ok dressage, and jumped a massive SJ course, winning the ODE. The look on her face was priceless
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I havent read anyone elses opinions but personally i think you were right to walk.
It can take a long time to get a horse to work well for you and trust you and a very short time to loose all that. With all due respect to instructors I do think that sometimes they are wrong and at the end of the day you know your horse better than they do, you know what is and isnt right for you!
 
Don't blame you for leaving at all! Kerilli and I have talked in the past about times we wish we'd stood up for ourselves and not let an instructor ruin our horses - if only a few years back i'd done what you did!
 
I walked out once - that time we went to camp, and the first two instructors were fantastic and both spent so much time getting B and I going so well... then that one time we had a different woman, who made us trot round like riding school ponies and was convinced that rather than her training tactics winding B up it was me who was riding badly... well, I told her he wasn't behaving and that I'd prefer to take him in and let him calm down and try again in my next lesson (albeit with the better instructor again, and not her!)

I don't think she was offended, but I knew it wasn't at all worth it trying to stay and persevere. Some people can teach well, some people can't and admit it, and sadly some people are convinced they can and are actually useless. YOU are paying for the lesson (even though you said you didn't
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) YOU are the customer, so YOU have the right to leave if it's not right for you
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Another complete agreement with what you did, all sounds very strange, and 10 horses in one session?? No way would I do that even if instructor was good.

I've walked out twice in the past and never regretted it or felt guilty.
 
I've done a bit more digging (wise thing, hindsight) and the sessions are based on intelligent horsemanship. I have never experienced intelligent horsemanship before, and Im not entirely convinced I want to again. So I guess I have taken at least one useful piece of knowledge away from today's ten minute disaster.
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Well done be being brave enough to walk out. No blame can be attached to you whatsoever and I think quite a few of us have done the same thing or come very close to it at some point ot other in our riding careers.
 
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I've done a bit more digging (wise thing, hindsight) and the sessions are based on intelligent horsemanship. I have never experienced intelligent horsemanship before, and Im not entirely convinced I want to again. So I guess I have taken at least one useful piece of knowledge away from today's ten minute disaster.
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From your description there didn't seem to be very much 'intelligence' going on at all.

I was a Martial Arts instructor for many years and in that time I discovered only a handful of other people I felt actually deserved the title instructor, although I observed many people teaching. I have very little experience of riding instructors as I am taught by my OH, but your story reflects others I have heard and evidence I have seen of instructors selling pupils blatantly unsuitable horses and others who allow their students to ride with tack so badly adjusted you really have to wonder at their powers of observation or knowledge of the subject.

As others have said, you were the customer and so you had every right to leave when you realised you were being shown something you knew to be wrong. Good for you!
 
(((hugs)))
By the sounds of things, you did the right thing, it wasnt working for you and your horse, you were polite and explained how you felt and left quietly, your only human and yes your bound to feel a bit bad, but you have not committed a crime or done anything bad, be proud that you took a mature decision and did what you thought was best for your horse
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Dont be put of natural horsemanship, just make sure that the person is actually certified...what you seem to have been told to do sounds like a disaster waiting to happen! Why would you want a horse to trot round as fast as it can with no rein contact! nonsense!

Iv learnt a lot about my horse through ... dare I say it...parelli (love it not ashamed!) but I not going to preach just to say that in all things with horses the environment needs to be safe and controlled....and your lesson sounds like my idea of hell! id have been straight out of there regardless of the fact the teacher claimed to use a 'natural horsemanship' approach!

stick with your usual instructer
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Never forget...the instructor is your employee. They work for you. You pay their salary. They are the help (well, hopefully wonderfully talented help who can really improve your riding). They are not doing you a favour.

You aren't a robot submitting your poor horse into their hands for whatever they want you to do. You are responsible for your horse's safety and well being. Leave the lesson.

And yes, I have disappointed my students. Mine were the last to jump. They had to have decent seats before we were over jumps (parents somehow equated jumping with riding success). My kids won their classes and when we met years later, I always asked, "Are you still riding?" Most smiled and answered, "Yes!"
 
Well done you for sticking to what you had worked towards, and what you believe is the best for you both.
Do a penguin...smile and wave boys, smile and wave!
 
Well done you, not every instuctor is going to suit you and your horse (or me and mine) so when you realsie you are getting no where fast making a reasonable excuse and exiting ASAP makes 100% sense.
There have been some lovley horses totally ruined in less than 45 mins so never a good idea to stick with it in my opinion.
 
As an Instructor/Equine Sports therapist I can see all points of views. I disagree with the comment about lower end instructors being inexperienced. Please dont generalise, there are very good AI's and rubbish so called top end/famous instructors and I have seen, experienced & heard of plenty.
We were always taught in the BHS max 6 in a lesson in a 20x40m school and max 8 in a larger school for safety.
It sounds to me that this was an inexperienced instructor trying to hard to please all, and not thinking sensibly by splitting the group into ability. You can't always split the group into matching sizes & abilities. Groups should mainly be split to ability. Course distances should be built to the pace of the largest horses, as ponies are more able to cope with awkward distances.
If this instructor was an intelligent horsemanship trainer then it sounds like she needs some further guidance in their training principles. I would inform the society with your concerns and maybe they can prevent this from happening again. If this instructor continues to hold such over subscribed clinics, a nasty situation may arise or, she will fail as an instructor.
With regards to adjusting tack/spurs etc. A lot of instructors/trainers are looking for a quick fix rather than spending time to get to know the rider & horse before suggesting any solutions to problems (if there are any)! "If it ain't broke don't fix it" If things are working tell them you are quite happy with how it is. Be confident. There are many ways to ride a horse, find out which way suits your partnership.
For those of you fed up with tack fiddling in lessons. If I came in the lesson and beat your horse with a big stick would you let me? No! I hope not? If you feel anyone is doing something that is harmful in any way to your horse i.e cranking up the nose band to tight, or beating it into submission? Then don't let them do it. They are not Gods, they are human like you & me. Speak up. You are the voice for your horse.
Hope you continue to have good lessons with your regular instructor, she sounds a good'n. We aren't all bad.
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