Want a break from horses

Olivia3004

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I have had my cob for 14 years and I would never get rid of him but I am fed up of horses and not sure what to do. He is basically retired as I lost my love for riding about 5 years ago.

I absolutely adore my cob but it’s the people on livery yards that make a mess and don’t clean it up. It’s the rude horses I have to bring in when I bring mine in. It’s the morning and evenings I have to see to him everyday without fail. It’s the constant planning if you want to do anything. It’s the money I have to spend on everything and then struggle the rest of the month.

I have been on part livery previously and whilst for the most part it worked, I simply cannot afford to do it again.

As I said I don’t ride and he hasn’t been ridden for about 18 months and I can’t see myself ever riding him again and now he is 18, I don’t think I have the time or motivation to bring him back into work.

I just feel so conflicted in what to do, should I just suck it up or find a retirement field for him. I feel awful as in the last 5 years, I’ve been on 4 different yards as my needs have changed over time with different jobs etc. so I don’t really want to move him again but I just don’t know how much longer I can continue the way I am.
 
My aged cob is 20. He's currently at home. he is pretty much retired but is of the nature that I can saddle up and go ride with no issues. He can go 6 weeks not ridden, have a ride then do 6 weeks not ridden.

I have discussed what I would do if I decided to downsize house to a non equine place. Not planning on that just yet, but life has had many changes over the past few years, so it has been a consideration.

Rigs would also never be for sale. He is sound and full of life and vitality but had had lami in the past, needs a muzzle as when fatter tests in the hundreds for EMS. He has asthma, but that doesn't really show when kept dust free (haylage and chopped rape straw). He isn't 100% if a lorry comes up behind him.

My options are many. He could go to a retirement livery as he'd be fine living out. He could go to a local yard on full livery, where I would endeavour to get him a sharer to help with costs and keep him entertained, or find loan person where I would be happy for him to move to their set-up. Rigs would also enjoy a smaller RDA centre (where he wouldn't be pounded every day).

He may be 20, but he would give someone a whole lot of fun. I think he'd have fun himself in any of those scenarios. I would prefer to retain ownership so I could PTS if he became doddery enough not to enjoy life.

18 months off for an 18 year old wouldn't bother me for bringing back to work if the horse is sound and sane. I got on mine when I tried him to buy and he'd just had 3 months' box rest for lami. Of course, I only walked around a field once, just to feel what he was like, as he was physically compromised, but pretty much he started back to work that day.
 
I would try and find a loan home for him, there will be a family out there that would love him I am sure. You could use your local contacts (ask at your local riding club etc) and find someone locally so that you can still pop in and see him. He could easily be brought back into work by a professional first if needs be.

I have 2 veteran ponies out on loan that are very much loved (by me and their loan families) and it is about finding the right loaners through word of mouth etc.

Reading your post - you are fed up and that is no good for either you or him.
 
@Olivia3004 could you loan him to a Riding School or an Equine College for a period of time?
There is an Equine College near me that is always wanting horses on loan for term time use with the students. At weekends and holidays you can go to see the horse or ride if if you wish. They can come home to you in the summer holidays. My daughter placed her horse there and it worked well.
 
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I think retirement livery might be a good idea, you can have your time back and he can chill with mates.
It probably won’t save you any money, but you will at least get the break you want.
You could look for a loan home, but there’s always the risk he might come back at a months notice. If you think he might enjoy having a job then look into this.
 
Sorry to hear this. I'm fed up too! A different situation but it's not fun when you realise you are not enjoying horses any more but are stuck with them. It's not like any other sport - bored of biking? Stick the bike in the shed or sell. With horses, we have obligations and a sense of duty/emotional bond, so it's really hard to get out. I keep going round and round in my head as to the right thing to do. I've been doing my own horses at home for 22 years. I'm not sure quite why, but I've definitely had enough!

In your circumstances I would loan as a companion to the right home.
 
He used to be on loan to a college when I was at University 10 years ago but I have moved to the other side of the country now so that college is not an option and the agri college where I am ask for payment.

I don’t know why but I just don’t want him being ridden so I don’t know how much I trust loaning his as a companion. He is not a horse that thrives off work, he doesn’t enjoy schooling and can be quite sharp.

As much as I have had enough, I owe it to him to keep control over him and that’s why I am thinking of the retirement livery route.
 
Sorry to hear this. I'm fed up too! A different situation but it's not fun when you realise you are not enjoying horses any more but are stuck with them. It's not like any other sport - bored of biking? Stick the bike in the shed or sell. With horses, we have obligations and a sense of duty/emotional bond, so it's really hard to get out. I keep going round and round in my head as to the right thing to do. I've been doing my own horses at home for 22 years. I'm not sure quite why, but I've definitely had enough!

In your circumstances I would loan as a companion to the right home.
Yeah, that’s very true. I feel like I’ve heard so many horror stories but I could get lucky and find a nice loan home for him.
 
Retirement livery does give you a degree of certainty (assuming they do look after the horses well), however it does not remove the expense. He may need medication in future, too.

If he might enjoy being a happy hack, that would be ideal as a loan scenario. Keeps him moving, and if he's relatively sane to ride and safe enough to ride a few times a week rather than every day, there are plenty of people who would give him a good loan home.

Around my area there are a lot of people with their own land: I know of a few who have horses who are now elderly/lame. The prospect of a search for a nice horse to ride a few times a week is not an easy one and just as you are suspicious of loaners, they would be suspicious of people offloading a problem horse....but there are definitely good loan homes out there.

On a forum like this you will mainly hear about the disaster stories. I've had my horse on loan for the last few years now: his owners are happy not to have the daily chores, cost and maintenance of an EMS horse, and in return I have a lovely horse to ride. It's a win-win situation, as far as all parties are concerned.
 
Sorry to hear this. I'm fed up too! A different situation but it's not fun when you realise you are not enjoying horses any more but are stuck with them. It's not like any other sport - bored of biking? Stick the bike in the shed or sell. With horses, we have obligations and a sense of duty/emotional bond, so it's really hard to get out. I keep going round and round in my head as to the right thing to do. I've been doing my own horses at home for 22 years. I'm not sure quite why, but I've definitely had enough!

In your circumstances I would loan as a companion to the right home.

When you start feeling that way and a change of season doesnt shift it, its time to look for an out. Its not a prison sentence. You are allowed to sell up/loan out and go on to other things. Theres a whole world out there thats not related to horses. I dont ride or have anything to do with horses now. I dont want to ride unless its on "my" horses that are now owned by other people, so not an option.

I do occasionally come out of retirement to help people, I went to help a friend with problem not so long ago and really enjoyed working with the horse. But I do other things instead now. Occasionally, I miss it very, very much, but again, its more about missing "my" horses. And I know they are safe and happy. But mainly I feel glad I dont have the tie and the expense and when the weathers vile I can stay inside!
 
I would do some research into retirement livery local (ish) to you and see how much of a saving that is - even if the £'s isn't massive the time and pressure of responsiblity will be lifted.

Any decision like that (including loaning etc.) is not permanent - so if you try retirement livery for 3-4 months and he doesn't like it, you can always change your mind.

If you don't want him ridden then the options are more limited
 
A retirement livery sounds like it may work for you. Where they are cared for daily and you would only have to visit him when you wanted to. It's probably not going to save you any money though. x
 
It's OK to need or want a break. I did for 3 years when my kids were small. I put mine on loan to a friend of my dads to stand at stud. He was safe and although he was the other end of the country my dad visited regularly to make sure he was OK. They loved him like their own and he had a wonderful time there. He came back when little ones were in school - it was wonderful to have him back but I don't regret loaning him out.

Today was the first morning of the cold weather here for us and I have to admit to questioning my life choices at 7am when I found the padlock frozen on the feed room door. This time of year seems to make all the 'bad bits' or compromises worse. Like I said it's OK to take a break.
 
If he's good with others in the field I am sure he could go on loan as a companion. There always seem to be people looking. Whilst you understandably didn't really want to move him again I'm sure he would settle if you found the right place. Good luck, I hope you find a solution.
 
I don't have any advice that others haven't already offered sorry (retirement livery would be my suggestion) but I just wanted to offer some sympathy! 🙁

I actually had this conversation with myself recently, horses are such an exhausting hobby and if you truly love them, as most of us do and therefore can't bear to sell, you are pretty much 'stuck' with them.

I am feeling a bit 'over it' recently. I have 1 on full livery, I love him dearly, but he is strong and sharp to ride and needs a lot of work to keep ticking over so it almost feels like a chore to get him worked religiously. I also have a 30 year old retired on a small field/shelter set-up that I share with someone else so look after both horses there daily. I would never sell the ridden horse because he is quirky as hell and I'd hate for him to ever be anything less than adored and treated with kindness and sympathy. The 30 year old obviously I have no options, he used to be on retirement livery but got a bit too high-maintenance in his old age and so I brought him back.

I know in my case it is probably just winter blues and I'll slog through another winter and get over it and start enjoying it all a bit more again, but I do often wonder how different my life would be if I hadn't bought my current horse 2 years ago when I lost my last one....

If you genuinely have fallen out of love with it all I feel for you I really do, it's such a difficult position to be in 😞
 
Sorry to hear you're feeling like that.

I agree with others that retirement livery may work for you. I don't trust companion loans for horses who are capable of being ridden (as opposed to tiny shetlands). I wouldn't trust people not to try riding.
Retirement livery doesn't remove the expense but it requires less time and input from you. Some people barely even visit their retirees (not my thing but I can understand it). The main thing is you can visit when you want to and not because you have to morning and night.
 
Thank you all for the support and words of wisdom.

I just feel so awful because he’s such a sweet soul and the easiest horse in the world but it’s the time and effort which is killing me. He would be a great companion but it seems like finding a nice home for him would be super hard but I suppose I’m not in a rush and in the mean time I will enquire about some local retirement livery options.

I think it just feels like I haven’t had a horsey free day apart from the odd time I have been away for about 5 years and I feel like I just can’t catch a break. By the time I get home after being out all day for 12 hours, I have a house to run and it’s just making me resent what was once my happy time.
 
I’m in Cheshire so I am quite lucky there’s quite a few places. I have just been so worried about messaging places in case I am being selfish.

I know a lovely retirement yard in Cheshire if you would like me to PM you the details. My boy was very happy there for many years and lived a wonderful life, they live out in small herds of 3-4 and the owner is very particular about matching up the groups to make sure they all get along and live happily together. Like I say, I only brought my boy home as he was approaching his twilight years and I felt he would benefit from some additional 1-on-1 care, plus I'm aware my years with him are limited now so wanted to spend some extra time with him.
 
I know a lovely retirement yard in Cheshire if you would like me to PM you the details. My boy was very happy there for many years and lived a wonderful life, they live out in small herds of 3-4 and the owner is very particular about matching up the groups to make sure they all get along and live happily together. Like I say, I only brought my boy home as he was approaching his twilight years and I felt he would benefit from some additional 1-on-1 care, plus I'm aware my years with him are limited now so wanted to spend some extra time with him.
Yes please, if you could that would be great!
 
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