want to buy new horse any advice to convince hubby to let me have him?

blacksabbeth

blacksabbeth

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Sorry a bit of a weird post,basically the horse is an 10 year old friesian x cob,as black as the ace the spades with a wonderful nature and a joy to ride.I have been working with this horse for a little while now as he belongs to the yard owner,hes a very one person horse and we have really clicked together and has not clicked with anyone else and i have been offered him and have agreed a price with yard owner at a good amount.Just my hubby is really farting around and says one minute i can have,then i cant then he will think about it?This is so annoying!!!I have wanted a horse like this as a child and really dont want him to slip out of my finger tips as he is gorgeous,just wondering if anyone had any tips on how to win a hubby round?Cheers everyone.
 
Tell hubby that horse is particularly good on shoes and only needs shoeing every three months, he only poos and wees in one corner of his stable hence your bedding will be minimal, the horse is a very good doer and doesn't need feeding - just a bit of hay. You have all the tack and rugs you need for the foreseeable future. It's tough as old boots and the need for a vet call out will be a slim chance.

Just make sure you have a pot of money to call on should the need arise!!! :D
 
Also, is your OH prone to not knowing what to get you for birthdays and Christmas? Does he rush out at the last minute and buy you lots of stuff you're not overly keen on despite all the hints you've been dropping for weeks? In which case say '...also you can count him as the next (however many you think will be needed to sway him) years birthday and Christmas presents as I know you never know what to buy me..'
 
I don't think that there is any particular way of persuading your husband to buy the horse. The best thing is to talk to him honestly about the up keep of the horse, vet bills, insurance, feed, hay, stable & grazing, tack, rugs etc etc & be perfectly up front with him about cost & the time & commitment it will take. Then when he knows everything then hopefully he can make an informed decision. If he is either the only or main bread winer in the family then he needs to know the financial commitment & don't sugar coat it. If he is not aware of the full cost & allows you the horse & then the money needed isn't available because of other household bills then the horse may have to go & that would be heart breaking for you.

Just tell him how it is, how you feel & full costs & hopefully you'll get the answer you want. Good Luck. :)
 
Personally, I would play on his subconcious fears and his fiscal vanity (all men have it, even if they are **** with money). I would point out that horse riding is a dangerous sport. That you take your life in your hands getting on a strange horse and that a horse who takes care of you is worth its weight in gold. Yet here you have such a horse, with whom you have already formed a bond, priced at a sale of a century price. By passing this animal up, not only is hubby doing himself out of a great deal but he is condemning you to horse shopping amongst unscrupulous sellers with unknown horses who could turn out to a have a behavioural problem that will render them worthless IF they don't kill you first. I would close with "We are getting a horse and a bad one will end up costing us more." Leave the fact tha tif he really, really loves you he will want you to be safe and buy an animal you already trust to his subconscious - they get prickly if you feel the need to point it out. I WOULD point out the fact that it is a buyers market at the mo which is why the animal you want is offered at such a good price. And that same market will work against you if you buy a cheaper, unknown animal that turns out to be a nightmare. If possible, use a white baord and flow charts. Men are in awe of white boards.

Manipulative, moi?! :)
 
He,he these sound brilliant just what i need to cheer me up,hate going in to that state of mind were you get on a high and then it crashes back down maybe i should kick hes butt!!!!I hate sounding like a spoilt brat hence the reason why i asked the old git first!I think i should fight for this one and put him in his place i did for my horse that i have got now,i just cant believe how much of an idiot hes being,he told me he even likes the horse himself so work that one out and a couple of weeks ago he would be interested in buying him!!!
 
Indiat that is great,i think i should write down what you have just said and say that all to him,oh and just to make everyon aware i dont earn bad money myself and i do have a horse now and i could afford to have this horse as he is a good doer without a doubt i have seen him wintered out he only has front shoes on and is up to date with all jabs and worming,and livery includes haylage,straw and hard feed.Which is what my horse now is currently on.
 
come on woman, use what the good lord gave you!! the promise of sex everytime you ride the horse and he will be down there to buy him for you before you can say bigblackhorse. then shoving you out the door to go ride it. you might be knackered for the forseeable future and walking a bit funny but at least you will have the horse of your dreams!
 
Believe it or not, that argument worked wonders when I bught my girl ten years ago. You just have to phrase it in ways they understand. Don't give them out by letting them think not having ANY horse is an option. You have to let their minds work in set parameters. And the above is all true - a bad horse will break your heart and cost you a fortune.
 
chestnuttymare said:
come on woman, use what the good lord gave you!! the promise of sex everytime you ride the horse and he will be down there to buy him for you before you can say bigblackhorse. then shoving you out the door to go ride it. you might be knackered for the forseeable future and walking a bit funny but at least you will have the horse of your dreams!
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Too many "repayments" and she might not be able to ride!
 
I nearly wet myself reading that,thing is wouldnt i end up too sore to ride the horse?ha,ha,ha.I will try that one or i will have to do technical horsey talk so it sounds really good and he wont have a clue,but be totally impressed with the horse.I am going to have to take some good tips off these posts,he,he.cheers everyone your all brilliant!
 
This is the 21st century girls! Women don't have to plead and flutter their eyelashes to be "allowed" to undertake ordinary things! Sit the man down, go through the finances (assuming you truly can afford a horse) then explain that this would be your dream to end all dreams and that if HE had the opportunity to make HIS dream to end all dreams a reality, then you'd support him to the hilt (unless it involved Kate Moss!). Then go and buy the horse together and then put pix on the Forum x
 
Even though I moan about it a lot this is one of the benefits of being single - If I want a horse I buy a horse or a saddle or whatever else I want all I have to do is satisfy myself that I can afford it (well sort of - lol). This is probably why I'm still single - I cant bear the thought of someone controlling what I can and can't do. No advice on how to persuade hubby as I would just go and do it if he had no real reason to object. If he has said yes once - I would just do it on the basis of that. Good luck :)
 
i just cant believe how much of an idiot hes being
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Maybe the fact that you are wanting him to buy and presumably pay the keep for a second horse is giving him pause for thought - rather than him being an idiot - especially if he is the only or the main breadwinner in the family.

Obviously if you are digging in to your own pocket to fund your hobby then it's a different story - just buy the horse. If not, well we can't always get everything we want...................
 
dozzie said:
Just buy the horse and tell the OH afterwards! :D
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My Auntie did that... not as great as it sounds, Uncle put up with it very well but horse has to be kept far away and it has ended up with my Auntie going to visit maybe once a month max... IF she can be bothered!

Far better to get your OH on board first. Good luck and I hope you manage to convince him :)
 
4 options:-

1. Dramatic: I'll kill myself if I can't have this horse

2. Sleazy: You know that thing you wanted to try ....

3. Tit for tat: Those new golf clubs you wanted ....

4. Sinister: I've been sleeping with a bread knife lately
 
I'm not really one to give advice on something like this as I just go ahead and buy them :)
If you're really happy with the horse - just come to an agreement with the YO that you would like him and not to sell him to anyone else whilst you laden your OH with lots of rich food/sex/wine/whatever you can! ;)
(See I told you I was useless at this type of thing! LOL!)
Good luck
Kate x
 
Uhhhh my OH does this, it is sooooooooooo anoying!!!

The way I get round mine is by being really practical and sensible and then the guilt trip. E.g I would say this...

' Your right, it is a big purchase and we should think very seriously about buying this horse. Thats why I have been looking after him for YO first, I know him so well, I KNOW he's the right one BUT I think maybe your right. Maybe we shouldnt get him, after all its a lot of money. No, its OK. I DO want him, he's my dream horse BUT your right, we shouldnt get him, we should think of our finances and be practical. After all I have you, your all I need. No its fine, No im fine, honestly *sob*. Do you want some dinner darling, I'll make you a nice dinner.. (while hiding crocodile tears)'.

Works everytime with my OH. He'll eat his dinner and watch while I be perfect, doting girlfriend while bravely trying to fight back tears. He will then break down and say 'If you really want him and it will make you happy, I think we should get him'.

Sometimes a bit of reverse psycology works a treat :)
 
Just imagine if your other half had posted this on a forum if you had objected to him spending several thousand downpayment on a motorcycle with HP repayments of approximately the cost of your livery fees and other running costs to match those of your second horse.


He,he these sound brilliant just what i need to cheer me up,hate going in to that state of mind were you get on a high and then it crashes back down maybe i should kick her butt!!!!I hate sounding like a spoilt brat hence the reason why i asked the old cow first!I think i should fight for this one and put her in her place i did for my motorbike that i have got now,i just cant believe how much of an idiot shes being,she told me she even likes the bike herself so work that one out and a couple of weeks ago she would be interested in buying it!!!



That's what you wrote.:(
 
I dont understand why you need hubbys permission for your hobby? Surely if you want the horse then you should buy it with your money?
 
I would just buy him and not tell the OH.....just pretend that you are still working with him and riding him!
By the time he realises it will be too late. If he asks where money is going just say you have bought some new shoes....you dont have to tell him they are not for you ;-)
 
black_horse and skychick, I'm intrigued, is that what you would expect from your partners? There's a been a discussion, you've expressed your concerns, you think the matter is still to be discussed and your partner just goes ahead and does whatever it was anyway?

What would happen if one of you wanted a baby and the other didn't think the time was right, would you just stop taking the pill to have a child, would you expect him to make holes in the condoms or forget to use them? I know it's not exactly the same but both babies and horses have large financial and time implications. Sure these decisions are a two way thing?
 
Not at all, i think all things should be discussed by adults but i also believe that you really wanted the horse then you would buy it. buy a horse is not the same as tricking a partner into concieving a baby.

If my OH wasnt keen on me having a horse i would say that he knew horses were my life before wegot together and that i would pay for it myself. However i would hope he would support me in my decision, what i ment by my (perhaps badly worded reply) was that the OH's word shouldnt be the deciding factor. If a horse gave the OP such happiness and enjoyment, any man worth their weight in gold wouldnt pass an oppertunity to make them happy.
 
But the reverse is also true - if owning a second horse is going to cause the couple financial stress, reduce their time together and their opportunities then surely any reasonable partner would reconsider taking an action against the other partner's wishes that would cause that?
 
didnt know it was a second horse, i thought the OP would only own one horse, in that case yes it should be discussed and a joint decision :)
 
Ok i am going to break this down-I did have a horse and pony up until november last year,sold pony as not big enough kept my horse who i have got now,paid for them and have done since day one,vet bills etc,etc.Now hes allowed to go out and buy a new car next week which he has put a deposit on and also bought new van last week so whose the one being a bit fair?I am the type who hardly ever asks for anything and i will pay for the horse out of money that i am due from a relation so i am not asking him to pay a penny for the horse,I tell you what i will post a pic of horse in a minute and i will show what i mean he is stunning and makes you feel so proud to walk next to and yard owner really wants me have him as he said the horse has not clicked with anyone else hes so comical just makes me giggle all the time,i have noticed lately that he gets in a strop if i walk past him and ignore him as he does not do this with anyone else.Now someone else was mucking about and pretended to get on his back and he threatened to have her big time,but is fine when i get on and seems to accept me,but no one else?I have put time in to this horse as he is well and truly worth it hes an honest type and beautiful with it.Ha,ha,i do love some of the posts on here!Thank you everyone,you have all been great,now time for that picture,give me a couple of minutes.
 
Sorry everyone you will have to go on my profile and theres a pic of him in my album its in my girly as a 2 year old its not a very good pic,but promise i will get a better one tomorrow.x
 
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