Wanted advert, honest opinions...

[Mikas-mom]

I’m currently searching for a loan horse and have decided that popping a wanted advert Up on a few sites might be a good idea.
I’m not the best at writing things like this, I find it much easier to have a chat on the phone, but I have jotted down a quick advert which I Hope doesn’t end up on the cheeky facebook posts thread ?
what do you think abou5 it? Do I need to change anything? Am I being too cheeky?

**Experienced, mature owner/rider seeking long term/permanent loan or possibly lwvtb if the right horse comes along.

Needs to be at least 15.2hh or upwards but nothing too heavy, as we are not huge fans of heavy horses. So ideally no full cobs, though cob crosses will be considered, and nothing with masses of feather!

A horse with character and personality is a must, we are not looking for a sit and point riding school plod! So quirks are more than welcomed.

Age and breed are somewhat irrelevant, we are happy to consider any age between 4-19years old.

Not fussed if it’s a mare or gelding.

He/she must be good in all the usual ways, catch/shoe/clip/stable etc and must respect fences, must not stress if first/last in the field or left alone for any length of time.

MUST hack alone as we tend to do 80% of our hacking alone, but also be happy to hack in company and be 100% in all types of traffic.
Quirks are not a problem, but nothing dangerous. We don’t mind the odd excited buck or a little bit of fizz etc, but strictly no rearers or bolters.

Will be used for hacking, schooling, trips to the beach, pleasure rides, and if the right horse comes along, possibly some showing and/or dressage (but not that’s not at all essential) We are not huge jumpers, so the ability to jump is not essential.

We are offering a permanent, experienced and loving home for the right horse, where he or she will want for nothing and get the best of everything.
References available on request and yard visits are more than welcome.

Long term loan preferred but happy to consider shorter loans and Would consider lwvtb if the right horse comes along.
If you think you may have what We’re looking for, please email in the first instance with details and I will get back to you as soon as possible**

 

[ihatework]

I’d sell yourself first, tone down the negatives, and keep everything approachable and negotiable. It might mean a bit more sifting but it would be a shame to put off a genuine horse. Maybe something like this:


Wanted - Loan or LWVTB

I am an experienced (X years) owner/rider seeking a long term/permanent loan or possibly lwvtb if the right horse comes along.

I keep my horses at home / on livery and can offer a large airy stable and all year turnout with safe fencing, good hacking and a well surfaced arena (edit as applicable). Regular routine farrier, physio, vet goes without saying.

I enjoy hacking, pleasure/beach rides and low key schooling/dressage, it would be great to find a willing partner who enjoys these too.

Im a competent rider and don’t mind managing forwards or minor quirks but do need something fundamentally safe that is able to hack alone.

Can be flexible on age, sex and type but ideally will be 15.2hh + and not a heavy cob

on Needs to be at least 15.2hh or upwards but nothing too heavy, as we are not huge fans of heavy horses. So ideally no full cobs, though cob crosses will be considered, and nothing with masses of feather!

Yard inspections and contracts welcomed. References available.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me to discuss your horse, their requirements and to see if we might be a suitable match.

 

[Mikas-mom]

Thank you IHW ? great advice that I will take on board. I’m pretty sure you can tell I’m a novice at writing ads lol, so its great to hear feedback like that ?

 

[ihatework]

Third from last para was supposed to have been deleted btw!!

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

I think you need to say who 'we' are. How many riders will the horse have and will the other rider be your teenage daughter or mature OH? which might make a difference to some owners willingness to let their horse come to you.

 

[IrishMilo]

The ad's too long IMO.

15.2+ light/middleweight type wanted on loan/LWVTB for all round activities. Must be 100% in traffic and willing to hack alone. The odd buck is fine but should be generally sensible. Loving long term home awaits where regular visits are welcome!

 

[Upthecreek]

I think your ad is too long. It might be okay if you were looking to buy & had a decent budget, but for a loan it says everything about what you want but not very much about what you can offer. Keep it short and to the point as suggested by IrishMilo above, but I would also add a paragraph about your horse riding/keeping experience & the type of home the horse would have.

 

[Melody Grey]

Personally, I’d not invite quirks so willingly-you’ll likely get them anyway, but You might be appealing to the upper end of ‘quirky’. Same with ‘the odd buck’- Could be interpreted as you’ll take a nutter?