Warming Trials & tribulations of selling/advertising on a cold day!

SaharaS

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As if it isn't difficult enough deciding to sell ...finding the right pics writing it up...you then have to go through all the rubbish that selling involves.Well this morning...I decided enough was enough!So...after much deliberation I had listed on Horse Quest, after struggling to get H&H ad to get past a certain stage...mac incompatible?none of the pics would upload and the boxes deleted as soon as they had been filled in -who knows why just uber frustrating..anyway I got cross & deviated..good response, very good infact...its just a shame that so much of the replies are spam and canvassing. more than a couple of other magazines companies contacting and getting rather upset that I do not wish to discuss advertising with them as I had already made my specific choice..which was NOT them...(yes bd, I'm very sorry but you are included!) So this morning I had enough...below is the actual email response to my ad...

Re Enquiry Submission Form Ref No 43853
Hello Dear, Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you I am Ms Larissa Kouakou From Ivory Coast, I am an orphan and I need your honest assistance to transfer my inheritance (USD$7.500, 000.00) which my late father deposited in a security company. here befor his assasination for reason which I will let you know as soon as I hear your quick reply through my private email id larikouakou1(@) yahoo dot com Best wishes Sincerely Larissa Kouakou


and my reply:

Hello Dear,
Permit me to inform you that you are going to be drowned in the depths of the deepest slurry pit & sorrow of your trollful existance will be no more. I will save you some time in letting me know the reasons you were led to believe, tho it pains me somewhat to enlighten you that you were only orphaned & your father assassinated due to your incessant email spamming & he will not be the first...you have been warned. Now there is still time to save yourself from your desperate situation, which is to forward all the above mentioned funds by immediate return,as a first installment, which will possibly give you some peace of mind..think of it if you will as a little life insurance..

I wish you everything you deserve & look forward to your immediate return of (£7500000.00GBP-I am aware the exchange rate may differ in your opinion, but this is due to administration charges and the addition of V.A.T for your protection)

Yours sincerely

Your worst nightmare.

ps in the time it has taken for you to read this email, we have linked to your email reading device which will automatically self destruct if you chose to delete or ignore UNLESS you scale the outside of Big Ben and do 24 hours of karaoke for every chime/ding or bong for the rest of your sorry existence...whilst hanging on to the second hand and doing the birdee song dance, backwards.Thank you very much in advance for your kindest co-operation.


Well?what do you think?incase any of you wish to have a go yourselves, her email is clearly shown above!:D
 
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SaharaS

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ha ha ha ha!! You're a genius!! I am trying to work out what the birdy song backwards would be...

flap, flap, flap, flap. wings your flap and that of bit little a and, this of bit little a with ... this will keep me going for hours!!

:D love it...and will keep you warm too!but don't forget the all important backwards dance (flappy wings & clinging on to big ben at same time....surely a VERY effective cure for scam emails!...I had to delete the bit about her computer detonating if email deleted as i didn't want to get arrested or anything...tho it was a very in depth paragraph which did have me chuckling!...or clucking...hard to tell really its so cold!;-)
 

Tinsel Trouble

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:D love it...and will keep you warm too!but don't forget the all important backwards dance (flappy wings & clinging on to big ben at same time....surely a VERY effective cure for scam emails!...I had to delete the bit about her computer detonating if email deleted as i didn't want to get arrested or anything...tho it was a very in depth paragraph which did have me chuckling!...or clucking...hard to tell really its so cold!;-)

Post it on here for our delight... please!!
 

Tinsel Trouble

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Had you not thought about helping this poor desparate person out by letting her know that she also had a problem with Her windows computer - oh hang on no thats nuisance phone calls not spam emails.

Ha! I had one of them call at work, an indian man called Glenn Anderson told me that he loved me and he wanted to marry me :eek: I put him onto my boss...!
 

SaharaS

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Ha! I had one of them call at work, an indian man called Glenn Anderson told me that he loved me and he wanted to marry me :eek: I put him onto my boss...!

Ah...Glenn Anderson..how very western of him!

I looked but deleted my draft of the explosive option..though still bit worried even mentioning..you just KNOW they would let the Nigerian Scammer go & I'd be getting HHO visitors in HMP!

I have a great one for nuiscance callers..answer & as soon as you are aware & either 'pass phone to relevant person' (you) or carry on as you are in charge of a crime scene & forbid them to get off the phone as they are now part of a murder enquiry and will be under arrest if they hang up...you can really go to town with it!:D Excellent for calls from Eon/Southern Electric/Double Glazing etc...and if they are dumb enough you can question them at length as to how they knew the deceased/their relationship etc -this works if you twig when they ask to speak to you so you start off replying with confirming who they are & go from there...MOST EXCELLENT FUN!
 

Flibble

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last time I got the windows one I told him I would ask my system administrator to talk to him and of course had a blazing row with said administrator before he could get to the phone unfortunately the guy pn the other end hung up!
 
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