Week one without him.

[poiuytrewq]

As a lot of you know I had my darling old horse pts on Monday.
It’s been a strange week with surprising results.
I was really worried that my horse who’s quite stressy and awkward wouldn’t handle loosing him. Also the issue of companions, it left him with two tiny ponies who weren’t turned out anywhere near as much as he needs, life just sounded like it was going to be difficult.
So I switched to night turnout, that’s worked really well. The 3 can go out together giving horse a decent time out. That’s been brilliant. Every time I look he’s grazing, eating hay or sleeping. He used to pace round the field staring at random nothingness and just be quite unsettled. He comes in quietly, we have no gate fighting anymore and they all sleep the day away quietly in their stables (I keep waiting for all hell to break loose, my horsey life is never this easy!)
They have started pooing pretty much in one area, this is weird. Old horse was the clean one, the others went anywhere and everywhere!
Maybe he didn’t let them in his toilet area
The hay piles get shared quite happily and no longer get wee’d in (I swore that was the ponies!)
I now have a theory my beautiful old man was only holy and innocent In front of me and acted like the field maffia behind my back or something
I’ve not had to get up as early and have actually been sleeping at night. I think a combo of being less worried constantly and not lying listening to him coughing outside.
A really unexpected outcome. I miss his face and being constantly watched and shouted at but such a relief in so many ways.

Thank you to everyone who supported me and made me see sense when I wobbled.
Really appreciate it and I’m pretty sure he does too

 

[PSD]

Sounds like good karma in return for making a kind, selfless decision

 

[MereChristmas]

So glad you are beginning to recover and sort out a new routine. You were stressed about your old boy and it has taken it’s toll a bit. The release from worry about him is huge ( I know ). Take it slowly. All will be well.

 

[poiuytrewq]

I don’t think I realised how stressed I was about him.

 

[splashgirl45]

It’s surprising how much we stress about them and only realise when they are gone . I found this every time , and now not having any horses I don’t have to worry about the weather, is it too hot, too cold, raining, snowing, it doesn’t matter to me now … glad your others have settled into a routine and that you are at peace with your decision., it’s never easy but now is the time to look after yourself as the stress leading up to the day will have taken a toll on you, rest up and try and remember the good times

 

[Snow Falcon]

I still miss Flicka but going down to the fields without worrying whether she was going to eat/off food/caught in fence is a relief.

I am glad that you are finding some peace now too.

 

[rabatsa]

Maybe your horse was also stressing about your old horse. Now that he has gone the horse no longer has to worry about him.

So pleased to hear that they all seem to have settled in the new routine.

 

[SEL]

I don’t think I realised how stressed I was about him.

I was the same. Missed him like mad but didn't miss lying awake at 3am worrying.

Relieved your others are doing ok too

 

[Gloi]

I felt the same about my old lad. Spending winter not worrying he wasn't eating enough and summer not worrying about his sweet itch was a relief though. Even though I miss him and his funny ways.

 

[Fjord]

I'm glad they have all settled in the new routine and you can relax a bit now.

 

[pistolpete]

I think when it’s their time and it’s right it is a relief. There’s still lots of pain and sadness but that’s totally understandable. So pleased your herd has settled so quickly and so well.

 

[Cortez]

Most animals deal with death much better than we humans do, they seem to just accept that their friends have departed and move on. We, on the other hand, are sentimental and have outside constructs influencing how we "ought" to be feeling.

Endings are sad, but they are often a relief too.

 

[Ratface]

I'm so glad that you are feeling a little better about the sad parting with your lovely horse.
One of my previous ones went unexpectedly downhill very quickly. It was so upsetting to see. I felt a huge relief when my vet helped him to be pain free for ever.

 

[poiuytrewq]

Maybe your horse was also stressing about your old horse. Now that he has gone the horse no longer has to worry about him.

So pleased to hear that they all seem to have settled in the new routine.

I wondered that. He could be quite nasty to him, they didn’t seem to particularly like each other but equally hated to be apart!
They always grazed close but not too close and spent much of their time scowling at each other!
Animals know if their herd has a weak link, I assume he was stressing about that perhaps

 

[J&S]

It's what is called a "silver lining"!.

 

[poiuytrewq]

It's what is called a "silver lining"!.

I guess so. I’d just expected this to be the most horrific week. I’ve been having trouble with the other horse anyway and feared this upset would make him worse, I agree with Cortez’s comments that they are not sentimental, and as I say they weren’t besties anyway but the upheaval on their routine and life I thought would maybe cause him to be even more stressy.
He’s just so chilled out. I just drove home worried I was late due to road closures and that would normally be a nightmare but he was stood in his stable with his bottom lip hanging!
I didn’t ever consider it may make him better.

 

[scats]

I’m glad you’re doing ok. That first week is always a weird one.
I’ve always found that the remaining horses just seem to ‘know’ and carry on as normal afterwards.

 

[Trouper]

Sounds like good karma in return for making a kind, selfless decision

This in spades.

 

[Birker2020]

I've felt nothing but peace since letting Bailey go. I also realise what huge stress I was under at the time and how much it affected my mental health.

There is nothing more reassuring than knowing you gave an animal the best life and death you could. I don't regret my decision for a second. It made what for me was a very sad time considerably easier knowing with absolute certainty I'd done the right thing at the right time.

You will come to understand this in time.