Well we had our lesson and I still don't know what to do

Aw, sorry your lesson didn't go as well as you hoped but at least (a) instructor WAS attractive, (b) he was happy to dish out hugs and (c) you've got an honest opinion from him. An objective opinion. Obviously we on here haven't seen you and D together so it's hard for us to know exactly how to advise you. Fingers crossed you find a happy and as painless as possible solution which ever route you decide upon. x
 
I am not going to sell him until the new year anyway as there is no massive rush. I have emailed a dealer and somebody who does sales livery so I have a couple of options now. For now At least my friend gets something to ride while her horse is off work. All my friends adore him so think I will have queue of people wanting to ride :)
 
Thanks spyda he def was a fitty and had a cute dog to match mine lol! Although with all the crying I did I think he thought I was insane! :)
 
There is a website called project horses, for project horses ie anything with any degree of quirkyness. Might be an option for u to put him on there. Then u can be 100% honest. That's what we did when we sold a tricky horse of ours. Good luck
 
Spyda said:
Aw, sorry your lesson didn't go as well as you hoped but at least (a) instructor WAS attractive, (b) he was happy to dish out hugs and (c) you've got an honest opinion from him.
Click to expand...


Agree with this lol

I have done both.

I had a stunning mare. So much presence. She would walk in the arena and turn heads. then bad behaviour started. She would warm up for 5min then start napping so at a show you just had to gallop her into the arena- fine for sj & xc- not so good for dressage. Sj, never touched a rail or stopped. It got to the point I couldnt hack. at home in school all fine, in lessons fine. I had a nasty injury off a different horse and after coming back, was never happy on her- more aware of being hurt? suddenly it wasnt fun to take her sj anymore. She may win the class but I had to be last in so warm up dead. I was scared to do things. I rung a "part time" boss I was working for who had always amired the horse (small time dealers, hunters and now big time breeders!) She listened to me sobbing for 10min and (them being typical old school no heart with horses) said, "you have answered your own question as to what to do next as you have called her "it" throughout"
In that snap moment deciion made. I was very fortunate that they jumped at taking her on as a brood mare- not so in the price I got) and I part ex her for a stunning gelding qwho in 15months was nothing but a pleasure. He was like a breath of fresh air. Unfortunately I had to have him pts and 4yrs on it still breaks my heart- whereas looking back, without wanting to be heartless I used to think why did have to be him not her (please dont think bad of me for that comment)

After Spacecadet was pts I started riding my sisters horse who she had stopped due to his broncing when anyone sat on him. 4years on still going. Talk about blood sweat and tears. My turning point was taking him to a local guy for lessons. I had had a few adoc. One day went in his arena and he asked how we were getting on. And I just burst into tears and admitted couldnt school him without a fight, fell off everytime jumped him. He was so sharp!
He took us right back to basics and by the new event season we were back out competing. We have had a very rocky road. We have won be 100 and then next week fallen off at. The horse has had a lot of time off this year after a field accident, and now back in work the cycle is restarting, and the nerves are retunring. I have 6 others- unbroken to 2* to retired. and he is the only one that can have me shaking in my boots. But at the moment I will not let him beat me! I have good help and I am capable!!

My point is, the question is not one that can be answered by anyone but yourself. And it sounds like you are tired of the situation. You say you will give him a break through December- why? put an advert up. If its meant to be it will happen. I have advertised the present horse several times- horse and hound, horsequest, pony club website etc. I dont think I have ever had more than 5phonecalls and only 1 has ever come to see him- who said his flatwork wasnt good enough- (next day we won two Ele BD, on 70%+ and she only wanted to BE90-100) oh well.

Good luck with whatever you do. I wouldnt however give him a break. You have found a new trainer who is willing to help. Have a weekly lesson for say 6weeks. If you feel no progress then advertise. If it is not in the budget, then I would say - and I dont mean to insensitive. But cut your losses. It costs as much to keep a good one as it does a bad one. Even with your friends riding him. If they adore him so much- why cant they buy him? Why pay for some one else to ride. You say you wwaited so long for a horse of your own?! Lucky friend

As for whether you will find someone willing- people ALWAYS think they can do better than the last person. There will be someone who gets on brilliantly with him. And you will find a brilliant horse that restores confidence, and you now have the help of a trainers opinion that you trust/respect. TBH I think you have made your final choice. But dont delay as all you will do is talk yourself out of it Best of luck
 
Yes planet hacking it was your recommended man. So lovely and fab. I need lots of lessons with him lol! I can't remember the name of the fog but it was super cute.

Thanks for sharing your story smac. I am not going to sell him till the new year as I don't think many people will buy in December and also he hasn't been ridden properly for a while so makes sense if my friend wants to ride him she can get him fit etc which will help me when it comes to selling. The decision is made now so unless I win the lottery so he can just stay as a companion he has to go. I have kind of cut off all my feelings for him which is not nice but I have to think with my head which is hard when everyone around me doesn't agree that I should sell :(.

Gonna miss him so much and he is such a star on the ground it's a shame we don't click when it comes to riding :(
 
Aw, I know it's really difficult, but if you're that unhappy with him then you've 100% made the right decision. And I totally understand cutting off feelings - I was exactly the same when I sold my mare who just wasn't right for me. It helps you and there's nothing wrong with it.

I was in exactly the same situation as you when I had my lessons with, um, shall we call him Mr Fitty ;). Sometimes we wouldn't even tack up - I'd have a bit of a cry and we'd talk, so don't worry - he's seen worse than you and lived to tell the tale. When he first saw me ride he said, and I quote, that it was "like watching an idiot with a shotgun" so if there were glaring problems with your riding, he would tell you. He's the best there is for nervous riders, and if you both feel this horse isn't right for you, then I think you've made the right decision, for sure. You can take from this whole situation that your riding is fine, but D isn't your ideal partner.

As an aside, I made the same decision as you, sold the shotgun mare that I rode like an idiot, and I've never regretted it. She's doing brilliantly in a new home and I now have my equine soulmate, the comedy cob.

So, onwards and upwards, and you can always have Mr Fitty out for the next horse :D
 
Thanks Planethacking :)

Glad to hear I am not the only crazy he has had to deal with! Lol

Thank you for the recommendation he is just what I need and will get him out for the next horse I get. I just wish I could keep D too but we just don't have enough space for another horse here :(
 
Hi GM im just sending you a (((((huge hug))))) its hard when you know what you should do- but you have to get there in your own time. pm if u want a chat :):)
 
Thanks archiepoo I am trying to block it out at the moment.

To be honest I just want him to go now. It's going to make it worse having to see him every day knowing he has got to go. Thanks for the hugs :(
 
Oh I just feel so pants. I am all over the place and keep worrying about what I am doing! My friends that I yard share with have been fab and supportive and helping by riding D etc. however some of my other horse friends keep saying I am stupid to let him go and he is a fantastic horse who will be fine with a bit of work. They just don't seem to understand that I am not enjoying him and I want a horse to enjoy now. I already feel bad enough as it is :(
 
Grumpymoo said:
some of my other horse friends keep saying I am stupid to let him go and he is a fantastic horse who will be fine with a bit of work. :(
Click to expand...
But it's not them that has to ride him. Listen to yourself and do what is best for you and your horse. Everyone has an opinion, and everyone is different, don't feel forced into doing something that you ultimately don't want to do, whether that's keeping him or selling him. Really feel for you, and hope you can come to a decision that you're comfortable with soon.
 
Thanks Ruth. I just think they were shocked that I wanted to send him to sales livery as I wouldn't know who was buying him etc.

I am considering finding him a loan home where someone wants to put in the work and enjoy him for a good few years or loan with view to buy. I can get something on loan that I can enjoy and build my confidence with. I am just desperate to ride now!
 
Maybe a part ex?

Its none of your friends business tbh! If you dont enjoy riding him its pointless to carry on!

Shame you're not near me I have a fab confidence giving mare Id love someone to ride a few times a week for me.
 
I guess I could part exchange but hubby won't let me have any more money to spend on a horse so whatever I get for him has got to fund the new horse purchase.

If you ever want to full loan your mare tiger tail let me know! :)
 
No she'd never leave my place im afraid! Ive just got a dodgy neck and can only ride every 2/3 days and have 2 to do!
 
I've found people are often a bit :eek: whenever someone decides to sell a horse. Its stupid, ignore them, they'll get it when they see you with your next horse who you can just tack up and hack where you like on your own, pop a fence, go to a show and come back smiling, etc.

Do not worry about what other people think, I guess they're being emotive and are fond of the horse. If your horse frightens you, he's wrong for you. Change horses, for your own sake and to let your horse go to someone who'd really enjoy him.
 
Grumpymoo said:
My new instructor was fab! Dealt with both me and D so well and put up with my tears!

Unfortunately our lesson didn't go as well as I had hoped. :( I did think that my riding was crap but he was happy with my riding and position etc but my lack of confidence is just massive. He said that D has an attitude problem and 6 months of giving him proper boundaries would sort most of our problems out. The problem is its me that needs to do it and ride him through his tantrums. We tried this today when he refused to stand still when my instructor walked away. He started to listen to me and then he pushed it up a level and I just panicked and wanted to get off. He made me stay on but had to help me from the ground.

After a long chat he said he is happy to work with me and that I can do it but its a long road. His honest opinion was that he might not be the best horse for me. So I am back to deciding what to do.

I just don't know, I think I know what is best but not sure I can deal with selling him.

His other advice was to get someone else to ride him for 6 months/year to get him past this and then get on him. He thinks we would still have a bit of a battle but he would be better having had someone else lay down the boundaries previously. :(
Click to expand...

I had the same problem about 3 to 4 years ago.Much loved horse but absolutely terrified me to ride.An instructor said to me, You know out there is the perfect home for him and out there is the perfect horse for you.This turned out to be absolutely correct.Iused a selling livery as it made everything much easier.It worked well for me.He was sold in a month to a lovely family for Dad to ride.I bought my lovely little Welsh Cob whose teenage rider loved him but was bored to death with him.This made him perfect for me.
 
If you think you can get through this, then it is worth persevering, but if you do not then you should sell him on.

Sending him on sales livery does not mean you will not know who he goes to. I know someone who sent theirs and she spoke to the buyer a couple of times before he was sold. Unless you friend or instructor can ride and school him for a bit, sales livery may get you a better price than selling from the field. Why dont you discuss it with the instructor chap?
 
Thanks everyone. I am such an emotional person and I am struggling to get on with this but I will do it. I just find it hard when people are saying well you've only had him 6 months and you haven't tried x or y with him. But my money isn't endless I can and have ridden him out on his own several times but its not enjoyable and I panic the whole time. He might be right for me in 3 or 4 years time once he has matured but that is a long time to wait and lots of money spent in the meantime. He has a massive jump in him so would be great to go to a home where he could do that. He loves cross country. The most jumping he would ever do with me would be a log in the woods. So I know he would be happier elsewhere.

Thanks everyone, I will do my best to ignore everyone for now x
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top