What am I doing wrong

[Sossigpoker]

yes I totally grip. How did you stop?!

I didn't ride him for a while and my instructor schooled him through his spooks. Once he was a bit more settled I then rode again and always kept in mind that I can't tip forward, grip or pull on the rein. There is no one tip that anyone can give you here , you really must let a more experienced rider educate your horse. Your horse needs to have more good experiences than bad. So if you want to ride him , then your instructor needs to ride him 3-5 times. Otherwise you're heading down a slippery slope where your horse gets more confused and nervous and these little runs will turn into bolts. And then you have a "problem horse ".

It is very very rare that an inexperienced rider can educate a young horse, the horse needs consistent, clear and calm signals until the desired response becomes ingrained.
I've had horses for 20 years and I'm not up to that job. That's a fact. Now that my horse is established,.he can cope with my mistakes and occasional tipping forward and general less than professional riding. But only because a professional kept repeating the same instructions until he understood what the desired response is.

You are heading towards an accident , not because there's anything wrong either you or the horse, but simply because you lack the skill and experience to educate him.
Horses that are regularly ridden very well can cope with even really bad riding in between. You need to give him a chance to learn so you need to step back and get a pro on board.

 

[YoLaTango]

I hear you!

 

[Rowreach]

I didn't ride him for a while and my instructor schooled him through his spooks. Once he was a bit more settled I then rode again and always kept in mind that I can't tip forward, grip or pull on the rein. There is no one tip that anyone can give you here , you really must let a more experienced rider educate your horse. Your horse needs to have more good experiences than bad. So if you want to ride him , then your instructor needs to ride him 3-5 times. Otherwise you're heading down a slippery slope where your horse gets more confused and nervous and these little runs will turn into bolts. And then you have a "problem horse ".

It is very very rare that an inexperienced rider can educate a young horse, the horse needs consistent, clear and calm signals until the desired response becomes ingrained.
I've had horses for 20 years and I'm not up to that job. That's a fact. Now that my horse is established,.he can cope with my mistakes and occasional tipping forward and general less than professional riding. But only because a professional kept repeating the same instructions until he understood what the desired response is.

You are heading towards an accident , not because there's anything wrong either you or the horse, but simply because you lack the skill and experience to educate him.
Horses that are regularly ridden very well can cope with even really bad riding in between. You need to give him a chance to learn so you need to step back and get a pro on board.

Ah come on, the OP is doing great, this was a blip and possibly an error on the part of the instructor in this instance, but there’s no reason she won’t get over it and she obviously has a fantastic rapport with her horse normally.

Comments like yours could really knock someone’s confidence, completely unnecessarily.

 

[Rowreach]

I hear you!

Yeah but don’t listen, you’re doing fine.

 

[YoLaTango]

If I'm reading your post right, you've had him quite a while, he was backed before you took him on loan and subsequently bought him. He's then had a few months of hacking, then has been going sweetly in walk and trot in the arena without issue in recent weeks?

So I'm curious to know what the instructor, after saying he was ready to do a bit more, hoped to achieve from lungeing him with you onboard. I think I'd be asking that question next time you speak with them. Depending on their answer, I'd be considering looking for another instructor.

Thanks. I’m going to take advice here. Pay for him to be schooled and just hack. We are both way more confident out hacking… if things start to look dicey hacking, I ll withdraw from that for a while too.

Don’t want to blame instructor. Ultimately the buck stops w me. He’s my horse and I’m his owner. I should be able to advocate for him. I should be able to say… He’s not happy with this, let’s do it another way. That’s why I’m posting here. It’s my obligation to inform myself so he isn’t “ruined”. Poor little guy. He does deserve a better rider, but I’m the one he has!

 

[YoLaTango]

Yeah but don’t listen, you’re doing fine.

Thanks! I don’t know about great… I had become fierce confident there for a while. I was like “me and this horse are buds, we get each other, we TRUST each other”… then….

But I don’t mind the criticism. I really really want to do right by this little guy. If that means bursting my bubble, that’s ok too!

 

[maya2008]

Did you maybe grip with your legs when your horse trotted? My son did that on backing our Welsh, who promptly shot forwards bucking! He only did it once though - now knows the importance of sitting quietly with soft draping legs!

 

[Sossigpoker]

Thanks. I’m going to take advice here. Pay for him to be schooled and just hack. We are both way more confident out hacking… if things start to look dicey hacking, I ll withdraw from that for a while too.

Don’t want to blame instructor. Ultimately the buck stops w me. He’s my horse and I’m his owner. I should be able to advocate for him. I should be able to say… He’s not happy with this, let’s do it another way. That’s why I’m posting here. It’s my obligation to inform myself so he isn’t “ruined”. Poor little guy. He does deserve a better rider, but I’m the one he has!

That sounds like a good plan.

 

[YoLaTango]

Did you maybe grip with your legs when your horse trotted? My son did that on backing our Welsh, who promptly shot forwards bucking! He only did it once though - now knows the importance of sitting quietly with soft draping legs!

Yes! I continually talk to myself about this. Soft knees, soft thighs, heels down etc. but it is very possible I did.

grrrrr!!!! Im very angry at myself. But we ll get there!

Thanks for everyone for helping me understand and form a plan for the way forward.

 

[Glitterandrainbows]

Sometimes young ones get abit excited in trot and try to ‘play’ especially if there were people on the ground my mare also hated the saddle that got fitted to her and did this in the saddle in trot and it did stop when I changed saddle and did more trotting

 

[fankino04]

Just to add, is there a schoolmaster available that you can have some lessons on to work on you while a more experienced rider works on your horse?

 

[maya2008]

Just to add, is there a schoolmaster available that you can have some lessons on to work on you while a more experienced rider works on your horse?

This, totally. If the gripping is automatic, I would suggest lunge lessons with and without stirrups, on an older horse. My husband’s little cob was bought at 3yo for him, but he’d had time off from riding so wasn’t ready to get on and ride from the start. So I backed and brought on his cob for him, and he had lessons on an older horse a couple of times a week. Eventually, his cob was ready for him, and he was fitter and riding well enough to take over. They’ve had a successful partnership ever since.

 

[Peglo]

Poor little guy. He does deserve a better rider, but I’m the one he has!

I can’t disagree with this more. Your wee lad is so so lucky to have you. You are doing everything you can to do right by your horse and giving him the best chance. Keep hacking and enjoy your time together.

 

[YoLaTango]

This, totally. If the gripping is automatic, I would suggest lunge lessons with and without stirrups, on an older horse. My husband’s little cob was bought at 3yo for him, but he’d had time off from riding so wasn’t ready to get on and ride from the start. So I backed and brought on his cob for him, and he had lessons on an older horse a couple of times a week. Eventually, his cob was ready for him, and he was fitter and riding well enough to take over. They’ve had a successful partnership ever since.

yes there is. I’m very lucky. The set up where I have him is amazing. The only draw back is it’s quite far away from me. But the commute is worth it. He is so so happy and relaxed there. All the other horses are too.

I can take private lessons on a fab school master and hack my guy. I’m trying to set myself up for success.

In my dreams, this is it for me and this cob. I ll be his forever, first and last home… and he ll be my forever cob. I’m at the age where we ll age together. By the time he is old and weary, I will be too. And we can be old and weary together.

My plans for him is a lovely happy life. Don’t need to compete, but I d like to get good (riding wise) so I can ride him properly. Plenty of hacking. Plenty of turn out. Plenty of groundwork and grooming and taking care. I want him to enjoy riding. I want us to enjoy riding together.

 

[YoLaTango]

I can’t disagree with this more. Your wee lad is so so lucky to have you. You are doing everything you can to do right by your horse and giving him the best chance. Keep hacking and enjoy your time together.

Thanks! I am trying!!! I just want it to work very very badly.

 

[Rumtytum]

yes there is. I’m very lucky. The set up where I have him is amazing. The only draw back is it’s quite far away from me. But the commute is worth it. He is so so happy and relaxed there. All the other horses are too.
He’s a very lucky boy, I wish you many happy years of mutual fun and enjoyment ?
I can take private lessons on a fab school master and hack my guy. I’m trying to set myself up for success.

In my dreams, this is it for me and this cob. I ll be his forever, first and last home… and he ll be my forever cob. I’m at the age where we ll age together. By the time he is old and weary, I will be too. And we can be old and weary together.

My plans for him is a lovely happy life. Don’t need to compete, but I d like to get good (riding wise) so I can ride him properly. Plenty of hacking. Plenty of turn out. Plenty of groundwork and grooming and taking care. I want him to enjoy riding. I want us to enjoy riding together.

He’s a very lucky boy, I wish you many happy years of mutual fun and enjoyment ?

 

[planete]

After fifty years of riding I went for lunge lessons on a schoolmaster as I suspected my position was contributing to my cob's lack of forwardness. It turned out I was slightly behind the movement after years of unconsciously putting the brakes on very forward going horses. The change in my cob's willingness is amazing. If you have access to a schoolmaster go and get assessed on him, it was well worth it for me.

 

[Horseysheepy]

Good luck op!

You're doing really well, honestly, even those who have ridden many a young horse for many a years still ask for help.

I've got to the age now where my body is saying "no thank you" more than it did a few years ago. I know my limits and know when I have to reach for a little pro help here and there and am not ashamed to admit it!

Keep going, get the help, and enjoy those hours of hacking, it will do you both the world of good and fill you both with trust in each other.

 

[smolmaus]

I've got a lot out of reading this thread this morning OP.

In my dreams, this is it for me and this cob. I ll be his forever, first and last home… and he ll be my forever cob. I’m at the age where we ll age together. By the time he is old and weary, I will be too. And we can be old and weary together.

My plans for him is a lovely happy life. Don’t need to compete, but I d like to get good (riding wise) so I can ride him properly. Plenty of hacking. Plenty of turn out. Plenty of groundwork and grooming and taking care. I want him to enjoy riding. I want us to enjoy riding together.

This is exactly how I feel about my little mare too. I just want her to be happy! But there is still so much pressure when it's your own horse. I've put work in to improving my riding for her but when I sit on her myself it all goes out the window as I'm so tense!

Glad to read all the great responses you've gotten, I'm soaking it all in and going to give myself a kick and arrange for my very experienced friend to get on board, as she has offered. This is a bit of a ramble response but just wanted to say I think your attitude is fantastic and you obviously want the best for your boy for his own sake. How wrong can you go when you genuinely have the horses best interest at heart and listen so easily to good advice? ?

Also post pics ?

 

[Hallo2012]

honestly sounds like just a wobble-baby horses do weird things!

no more lunging! ridden or not, its no good for them and if they struggle to find their balance, and then you lose yours....harder to keep it in check on a circle.

lots of steady hacking for sure

 

[Polos Mum]

Thanks. I’m going to take advice here. Pay for him to be schooled and just hack.

Lots of good advice on here, but I honestly would save your money on paying for him to be schooled at 4 y/o. You can train all the basics out hacking in a straight line with no pressure, very slowly.

They don't stop growing until 6-7 y/o so any schooling is hard as a 4 y/o. Roughly a human year is 3 horse years so if you think of him as a 12 year old boy it'll help understand where he is physically and mentally.

I rode a lovely cob that was only ever hacked until he was 7, in six months we went from walk trot tests to novice dressage because he was strong, fit and mentally ready for the questions we were asking.

Also on confidence both my confident 4 y/o have had a confidence wobble so don't panic as they mature if the confidence isn't always 100% consistent.

 

[Barton Bounty]

It will also take the pressure of you feeling the need to ride a certain way! And when he knows what he is doing! He will forgive any mistakes as he will know his job

 

[Rumtytum]

Yes, as Smolmaus says, we need photos ?

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

Just to clarify, the instructor had you on the lunge? A lunge lesson on a young unbalanced horse with a (sorry!) unbalanced rider is a recipe for problems.

^^^ Sorry but I'm gonna be blunt here. This wasn't a good idea. Classic case of too much too soon with a young horse. He's only FOUR for god's sake. Too young to have all these different people riding him doing this and that, and then being expected to bend himself around a lunge rein in the school. Cobs find this difficult at the best of times and especially so a youngster. I know, mine was just-backed at 4yo when I got her and we didn't get inside an arena till she was 6! Neither did we canter properly till she was 6! These cobs take a long time for their bodies to adapt to being ridden and being heavier, school-work particularly is not ever going to be easy for them especially at this tender age.

You know what I'd do? Take it or leave it but this is my advice: I'd turn him away for a few months, till the autumn. Let his body catch up with his brain. Let him chill out thoroughly. By all means touch base with him regularly and do some productive ground-work with him, but nothing else. And by "productive ground-work" I do NOT mean lunging! I mean long-reining, and you could build him a little TREC-type course in the arena and play with him around that to keep him listening to you. Handle him particularly his feet so that he is OK for the vet and farrier to handle later on, do work in-hand making him move away from you, and this way and that. Introduce him to loading, carefully and sensitively. Lead him out in hand with you on the roads and introduce him to traffic. But keep it chilled and relaxed, just don't ramp up any pressure with him.

I hope you will accept my honesty, but this is sadly a case of too much too soon my friend. If you continue with this then sorry but you'll have a problem horse before much longer.