What do 'normal' people do with their time?

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Mardy Mare

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I am at a cross roads and I don't know what to do!

I have had my mare for 3 years since she was a 4yo. She has turned into a little superstar from the horse I first bought.

I have advertised her for sale because I can't afford to compete her and I don't want her going to waste. She has a huge jump on her and has got 70% + in her prelim dressage tests with hardly any schooling.

I'm gutted because I know we would do really well together competition-wise. However, I can't afford to buy a 510 size trailer and I don't have a trailer license, so would have to fork out for that too.

I get a good, average wage. But at the end of the month, I am always down to my last few £1's! So , when something goes wrong with the car etc, I have to put it on a credit card and then pay it back off over a few months. Horse obviously never goes without!

My decision to sell or not has been made even harder because a lovely lady is really interested in her, and said horse would be her forever horse (they have their own farm, loads of fields- horse heaven really). She is also local, and has said I can see her whenever I want.

I just don't know what to do. I love competing and it's so frustrating that money always gets in the way! I also have a fantastic bond with her and love her so much, so it would be so hard letting her go.

So, going back to my title question, if I sold her, what would I do with my spare time? Someone I spoke to who had a break from horses took up knitting :(

Help!

Has anyone else been in this situation? Thanks for getting this far.
 
If your only reason for selling is to stop her from going to waste, I personally would keep her! If she for example spends the summer hacking and just generally having fun then she wont think she is going to waste at all!
If you have a great bond, horse is happy doing what she is doing and you have the time to just have fun without all the added pressure then why not!

with regards to the other question... I have no idea!!! I am unable to ride at the moment due to everything being a bog (including our safe off road hacking) and although just a happy hacker, not having the choice to ride is really grating on me! I have turned to jogging and exercise classes to fill my evenings :-p
 
Do you have an arena? You could always do online competitions and then there are no travel costs but you are still competing, dressage anywhere, inter dressage etc and I think you can do jumping as well.

Sorry not much help, I have had horses for the last 16 years so have no idea what spare time is but I have been know to play tennis if I'm not too exhausted lol
 
Yes, I had a 15 year break from owning a horse - from my mid-20's until I had a midlife crisis when I was 40 and managed to end up with one (long story)! Up until then I had competed seriously and I worked with horses for 5 years after leaving school until I decided I needed to actually earn some money. I was also forced by circumstances (including financial) to sell my horse, I took up other hobbies (photography to get C&G exams, learned to windsurf, had time to go away at weekends etc) but I also rode when I could - I was lucky I had a friend who had a yard so I helped exercise whenever possible which probably kept me sane. I also had a horse on loan for a while but I wasn't able to compete her as I didn't have transport etc. Looking back I really can't remember how I filled all of my time - I won't say I was ever particularly unhappy, but I can't imagine now what I'd do if I didn't have horses - except I'd have more money and spare time to travel to exotic places! (but that would be for a few weeks in a year at most).

I realised I didn't really want to have a horse if I couldn't compete at some level (and I still feel that way) - I like to have goals to work to. So whilst the decision wasn't easy it was probably really made for me and I would have found it incredibly stressful to carry on without the finances to do things properly.

I guess you could loan your mare for a while, perhaps if you think finances might improve in the short term. That wouldn't have been a solution for me but your circumstances may be different. I can't bear to think what I would have to do if I needed to part with either of mine now but there is life after owning a horse, it's just somewhat different.....
 
Sounds tough...can sympathise with you as I will be in the same position soon, I receive help with paying for horse while at uni but once I start work won't be able to afford transport or any extras like competing.

But unless you have something in mind to fill your time (wanting to start a new sport/hobby, have more money for holidays, looking forward to more of a social life etc) then it will probably be a hard adjustment...be a shame to sell if she is the horse for you just because you can't afford to compete.
Depends how much you mind her 'going to waste'. I know some people don't mind and some feel strongly about wasted horses. What about sharing transport with someone, getting a sharer to help cover 'basic' costs and then what you save can go in a competing pot? Even if you don't compete very often, isn't that better than giving up altogether?
Or you could sell and then look for a share of a competitive horse, if you find the right situation you could be able to compete without having to fund the whole thing. Some people on expensive full livery comp yards look for sharers to help cover their costs and offer the opportunity to compete especially if they have more than one.
If you wouldn't want to be riding someone else's then another time consuming sport is probably your best bet...if I didn't ride I would probably do triathlon or something
 
Apparently 'normal' people sit at home playing there PS4 and moaning about horsey people (me) spending too much time outside in the fresh air enjoying an active fulfilling hobby and neglecting all house work and cooking duties ... THAT is what 'normal' people do!

If you love this mare and the only thing that stops you keeping her is because you cant compete then dont compete. all this talk about 'wasting' is rubbish. your horse, do what you like with her, enjoy her, love her and trust me she wont hate you for not taking her to a compettition, lol :p
 
If i were in your shoes i'd be keeping hold of her too to be honest,...but, If finances are a bit tight and you're happy to let her go for the reasons you've stated, i guess you could always look to 'ride/compete' for someone else perhaps?!

I've seen a few adverts asking for this kind of help so it may be worth considering.
 
I'm not sure I believe that the horse will be 'going to waste' if you don't compete. There must be thousands of horses out there who are capable of much more than they're actually doing. Even as a happy hacker or someone who enjoys schooling/ popping the odd fence at home, you're still giving your horse a job to do and I honestly don't think you should feel guilty. Competing is great if you're in a position to, but it's not he be all and end all IMO.

I think you should keep and enjoy :-)
 
If you know you have a superstar horse stick with it and hack out enjoy your time with her and see how you go financially
 
If you like the lady who is interested in her, could you not offer her the horse on full loan with the agreement you can compete her? May work for both of you...
 
I sold my riding horse a few years ago, so no full time horse commitments. Now I travel! I was never able to do much before as money, time, annual leave and cash were all sucked up competing. I've averaged a trip a month over the last couple of years, some long (a week or two) and some just weekends, although this is slowing down. I'm just as busy and poor as when I had a horse though!

I sold up as I moved (from Australia), I probably would still be competing otherwise. I miss it, the training, the competing, all the friends that come along with it, although my family still has horses out competing so I'm still involved a little bit.

I do still ride a lot (hunt with hirelings, and do lessons and clinics pretty regularly). Those don't come cheaply, but I don't think I could ever not ride. ETA its actually been a good opportunity to try my hand at other disciplines.
 
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As has been said if she is right for you it doesn't matter if you are not going to take her to the top! She won't care.... I sold up about 5 years ago, financial and time preasures haveing just bourght our house and the Mare just not being right for me any more. I was never 100% happy about this and everytime I saw someone out or went to a comp it made me actually ache inside.... I know that sounds dramatic but it was such a huge part of my life it seemed unnatural not to ride..... We had a long time of I will I won't get another horse and then whilst moping round Osberton Horse Trials in October my other half said.... Look we are just going to have to get one.... Chester arived on the 30th November I was taking no chances.... And honestly, I have not been happier in a long time.... he is exactly the horse I need and if his talent out grows mine it wouldn't be a reason I 'd sell him.
 
Shopping, having their hair and nails done.........yawn yawn!

We have a youngster that is way too good for us - we don't have the experience to bring him on so just muddle through, and can't really afford regular lessons or competing, but he doesn't care!

He loves hacking and pootling around fun rides, is looked after like a prince and is happy as larry. His temperament would be hard to replace and he fits into our 'madhouse' perfectly. I hope that when finances improve we can put more into him, but if going for a gallop on a nice sunny day is as good as it gets atm, then that is fine.

Could you put your mare on part loan,or get a sharer to help with costs? Maybe take your trailer test but hire instead of buying?
 
Thank you for all your replies :)

I guess my problem is my 'got to be sensible and buy a house, have savings bla bla bla' head is fighting with my 'what the hell, you only live once' head!

My main reason to sell is not entirely that she'll be wasted, I know she would be very happy to spend the rest of her days plodding along and munching grass!

My feeling is, she is still young and at a good age to learn. And she likes to learn, she is very inquisitive! I would hate it if I would keep her for a few more years, not doing anything with her and then selling her.

The lady who likes her wants to do dressage, which I think she will be fab at, and the fact she will have a nice, forever home may not come along again.

I don't think loaning is for me. I have thought about possibly sharing a horse in the future so that I'll still get my horsey fix.

I guess I've got some thinking to do!
 
Am currently 2 years into a horsey break as couldn't afford mine at uni. I've had loans at uni but none have worked out, they weren't my babies and we're in the middle of no where. What am I doing? Sitting on my backside, putting on a ton of weight, watching crappy TV, counting the days till I can move home and get my girly back. But mostly going slowly mad from boredom and pony withdrawal! If I were you I'd keep hold of her, I'm never going without again. I was also gonna suggest as above but sell on the condition you could part loan her back?
 
from what i understand, you still have money to keep your horse, and you can still ride her- presume you have a school and hacking? so ultimately does it matter that you cant afford to compete? i have 2 horses, and money is tight. i cannot really afford to go out very often, although i did save up, had a friend who helped me do up an old trailer for under £1000 in total, with new solid floor, and saved to do my trailer test :) but because of the wet winter they are pretty much in, so i have been spending way more than normal on hay- so have no money to go out :( however, i still love them to bits. there is one not flooded hacking route- had a lovely hack this afternoon.
yes i should be saving for a mortgage, a new car, ect.... but i would not know what to do without my horses and they don't mind not competing. my girl would probably come on loads if i had the facilities to work her more and money to compete, but she is happy and i am happy- if i get a pay rise though that would be nice :P
however, i do know numerous people who took a few years or longer away from horses, to work more and save money- but most have returned to horses and missed them too much.
 
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