what do you do after the horse of a lifetime?

I'm not sure i've owned my horse of a lifetime yet. Billy sure does deserve that title in many ways, just not in a major "we've done everything together" way. I used to ride a stunning connemara years ago named Glen, and we just clicked. I compare every horse to him now. But each horse gives us something different.
I wouldn't say getting a youngster is crazy at all, it depends on the youngsters temperment and how you bring them up.

My grandfather rode until he was 75/76 and would still race my mum across fields lol!
 
I am in my late 50s and my horse is 13, so I will be facing this too. I hoped he might last me out if he keeps going into his 20s, so I will wait and see what happens. Sometimes I think I won't want to get another, but maybe after a few months of not riding I would be looking at the for sale ads again.

On the other hand my sister is nearly 70 and lost her Mr. Perfect a couple of years ago. I think she is so brave, as she bought another one to replace him, which didn't turn out (nice pony, just too sharp) and instead of giving up, went out and bought another one, and this seems to be the one and Mr. Perfect II. She has gone down from a 16.00 to a 14.2 so getting on and gates are easier! She thinks that riding is really her only hobby and she didn't want to stop and get old, and her husband is golf mad, so if she didn't have a pony to ride she would be stuck at home all the time when he was out at golf.

Just got to wait and see what happens.
 
I'm 41, got Kane when I was 34 and the moment I met him I knew he was my horse for life, he's caused lots of upsets and believe me I've cried and been hurt over this horse but he's 100% perfect for me and I adore him and he'll always be with me. Luckily he's still only 10 so I've got plenty of time with him but for years I could never imagine having or wanting another horse because he was everything I needed, I thought he would hopefully last me until I was into my late 50's. So here's me now owning another horse by accident...and while she isn't the type I want and I know she's not staying with me (finding a loan home hopefully) it has opened my eyes and heart up to the option of having another horse when Kane starts to wind down. I can see myself enjoying something abit bigger than him and a horse who has more speed and ability (don't get me wrong for a little cob he's got a HUGE heart and does everything I ask..he loves XC and will run til he drops on the beaches and fields!!) but I certainly now can look at more sporty type horses and think 'hummm maybe!!'

Doesn't mean I don't adore Kane and certainly never ever means another horse will replace him as my soul horse but as with my dogs I can give more than 1 attention and love I think I now can do the same for my horses.

I really hope to still be riding into my 70's as many riders can and do. I certainly am no where near ready to give up!!
 
I lost my beloved Jack when he was 22 and i was 48, I had always hoped he would have made it to 30 and i probably woudn,t have had another one , but I was so lost without him that i did get another, he is now 11 and i am 50.
He is a T.B too but smaller than Jack as easier to manage as i get older, very different personality, but i have grown to love him, Iwould like us to grow old together, but he has lameness issues so we will have to see ,if i lost him i don,t know what i would do, still can,t imagine being without a horse i have been with them all my life..
 
Hubby is devoted to his horse, a 15.3, 3/4 bred arab who is now 18 but he is dreading the time the horse has to go, OH has had horses all his life but this one is his one of a lifetime, so i am dreading the time as much as he cos hes said he wont want to see anyone at that time-
 
My mum had her horse of a lifetime Murphy from when he was 7 to 23. She achieved more with him then she could or would have done with any other horse, they were like soul mates and in that whole time he never chucked her off, the only time she fell is when they both fell during eventing. He wasn't the easiest horse in the world but they were made for each other and together they were better then either of them were on their own.
Making the decision to have him pts was the worst thing for my mum, it was a very very traumatic day but old age had caught up with him and she didnt want to see him suffer.
Its been 5 years now since he was pts and my mum still cannot think about him or talk about him at all because she cant bear it. She said to me that she indulges herself quite often of thinking of our other horse (pts not long after Murph, also very old) as he was so lovely but that she cannot think of Murphy at all or it hurts too much, she says it makes her feel guilty that she doesn't think of him but she can't or she breaks down.

She has had a couple of horses since Murphy and her current horse Red she will keep forever, he is another TB but he is no Murphy. Red is perfect for my mum now (she's in her 50's) as he is laidback and easy and they have a good bond, they do dressage mainly and do very well. Red is a classy horse but sweet and kind. Murphy was all passion and presence. Mum has said she will never ever get a horse like him again as it would not be the same, he was a one off, a freak and she knows she will never come close to achieving what she achieved with him or having that close a relationship with a horse again. Murphy would have died for my mum and he frequently saved her out eventing and riding, they were that close.

My current horse is my horse of a lifetime I know it. I've had others that have meant the world to me but he is in a different league.. My mum says she can see it when we are together and I know what she means.. yes its not perfect all the time but actually most of the time it is perfect, he makes everything feel so easy and I just worship the ground he walks on, I'm already doing things I didn't dream I would be doing and i've only had him a year.

Having a horse of a lifetime is such a bitter-sweet pill I think, because they make you so happy but break hearts at the same time, make the most of them!
 
It's such a difficult situation to be in I think, emotionally, trying to re-create the feeling from an old relationship with a new horse is difficult.

Over my teenage/20's I had a variety of horses, bought/loaned/shared and accepted they were all different and loved them for who they were. When it was time to move on it wasn't overly difficult to end loan/sell.

I then got one particular horse and fell for him big style. He was far from perfect, but we really gelled and I enjoy every day I spent with him. After a few years it got to the point where he wasn't sound enough to really be ridden much, and certainly not compete to the level I wanted.

I kept him but I also bought a youngster to break and take over from him as my competition horse. It never crossed my mind that I wouldn't just 'love' this horse too. But try as I might I just couldn't really bond with the youngster and I ended up comparing him to my old boy a lot. It was really unfair on him, he is a lovely horse and the type people would swoon over, but I just couln't warm to him. He is now out on loan/view to buy and I have purchased another.

I really wondered if I would find something I liked as much as my old boy. The first time I sat on my new purchase I knew he was the one for me, he put a smile on my face immediately.

So yes, I think you can replace the horse of a lifetime, but I don't think it is necessarily easy
 
My chestnut arab mare died last year aged only 17, we had been together for 14 years, she was my soul mate. I am now 58 and have bought a 19 month old Dales gelding, so different, I dont think I could have coped with a similar looking horse after Aura I would have compared them so it would not be fair.
Wilson is comical but as I am handling him the same way as I did Aura when young there are similarities in how he reacts to things, I am calm with him as he is very much a baby and looks to me to give him confidence, he is also very comical and has the most funny expressions, I know now I did the right thing.
 
I have my horse of a lifetime now, without doubt. She is my childhood pony (got her when I was 14) and I have owned her for nearly 19 years.

I havent been able to ride her for 14 of those years as she is/was a chronic rearer and also bolts blindly periodically. We then found out she has a back issue that is not 100% solveable and as soon as I found out I retired her completely, before that we were happy hackers with a spot of showing thrown in.

She is without doubt the most loving, gentle and intelligent horse I have ever known and is my soul mate and best buddy. We are very closely bonded, to be honest she is part of me and the thought of a life without her in it is too painful to contemplate :(

I have suffered from extremely severe depression during my teenage and adult years on and off and at times she is the only thing that stopped me taking my own life. I am SO thankful to have her.

She is very nearly 24 now and although in good health I am only to aware she is approaching her twilight years and I am often asked would I get another one after she passes. I have always said no as no horse could ever replace her or take her place in my heart and I wouldnt want them too. But on more reflection I may at one point take on a couple of rescues as I am sure she would want me to go on and help others as I did her all those years ago.


Sadiemay
 
I had Beacon 8 years, got him when I was 36 and he was 6 as I also suffer from RA I thought we would retire together. We did everything at RC won RH championships and some mini jumping ones too. Hunted xc trek absolutely everything. he was far from an easy horse (I just didn't realise it) #Although did badly break my ankle on him months before I had to retire him due to his illnesses. It broke my heart he was my horse of a lifetime (I thought)

I had a couple of horses that I just didn't click with.

Then just over a year ago I found Micah and WOW I can't believe how much more rewarding he is. I won't say we click better as Beacon and I had just as fab a relationship But he used to leave me feeling frustrated and useless a lot of the time. Micah is so much more willing and sensitive and I am hoping to win even more on him, especially dressage and SJ.

Micah is 7 now and I am 46 hopefully he will be around for at least as long as I want to compete, then we can be happy hackers together... well that's the plan anyway
 
the month before I lost Winks I had bought a unbroken 4 yr old. He died quite suddenly it wasn't expected, at the age of 17, I had had him 10 yrs. He was everything to me. For 3/4 months pretty much every little thing broke me down into floods of tears (in fact thinking of him still makes me well up now :( )

I was glad for the mare I had bought. It took me back up the yard and I didn't have to "go out and buy one". at first I set into backing her, but I wasn't right emotionally and she was tricky, so I turned her away for a few months. When I decided to crack on with her I got someone up to do it with me. She was hard, and now looking back I knew I wasn't enjoying it. I was just "doing" it. after 3 months she was rideable and going nicely. then one day it all went wrong and I came off badly and ended up in a ambulance and not being able to ride for 3 months. I decided to sell her. I had never bonded with her, looking back it wasn't her fault, but she was so far from what my old boy was like, needed so much time and patience and I wasn't in the right place.

Once I was able to ride again I set out to buy a new horse. Top of my list that it had to have the kind, laid back temp that my old boy had had. Eventually I found my Jaffa. A 5 yr old ISH. I have had her 5 months now. She has been a total poppet and finally in the last month I have 2 breakthroughs in my mind!! 1. I went away for the weekend and I thought about her a lot and missed her and 2. actually get up in the morning looking forward to riding her. Might sound odd, but it will be 2 yrs this July that I lost my boy and I really haven't felt that way since. And several times I have nearly jacked the whole thing in (very big decision for me though cause I am a riding instructor too!).

But it's all worked out in the end. And the mare I sold has a new mummy that loves the bones of her. she got me through it and I wouldn't have been without her, but she was not the horse for me long term.
 
This thread has had me in tears, had to stop reading half way through. I decided last year that i wont own another horse after Sisco, he wasnt well and away from me in 'horsey hospital' on two occasions last year, watching him drop weight so quickly and then having to come home without him was so hard and i dont ever want to go through that again with him or any other horse, he'l be with me the rest of his days, he's retired and will be 14 this year, im hoping to have him around for a good while yet and when it is his time to go i wont look for another. Loaning or sharing is my plan depending on whats going on in my life when the time comes....
 
I lost my horse of a life time last May, I bought her as 3 year old & I'd had her for 27 years when she died (due to a twisted gut)
I bought another horse the following September & found it very, very difficult to form any sort of bond with her. We had a few teething problems which I found really hard to work through, I couldn't get past the feeling that she was just a poor replacement for my other horse. I used to make a fuss of her, stoke her & give her affection but it was a bit forced as all I saw was a second rate replacement
It wasn't fair on her as none of it was her fault; fortunately we have worked through our problems & we're starting to form a good bond but it's taken time.
She's a lovely horse who I'm now very fond of, she didn't deserve to be thought of that way, it's still something we've got to work though but we're getting there.
So it is possible to love another horse but it takes time (I think I rushed into it a bit & should have given myself more time to get my head straight)
 
Very recently lost my horse of a lifetime. I bought another horse 2 years ago as knew old lad needed to be retired. New horse cannot compare to the old, but I am very fond of him,despite he little foibles! and he will be my last horse as I am knocking on, and the time will come when I cant physically look after my horse. Having had horses for nearly 30 years the thought of not having one scares me. Its hard not to compare and find wanting, but different horses have different characters and most of them find a place in your heart.
 
I also wonder about this. My horse of a lifetime is 30 this year, I have owned him for 12 years. He was an unexpected horse sale purchase, the best I've ever made.

A couple of years ago, a friend offered to loan me her wlesh cob. Hes a bit difficult (normally not a problem, horse of a lifetime is also difficult) and is a completely different sort which I thought would help. I thought I coud ease him into being my 'main' horse and the old boy did less.

I do like the new one, kind of (!) but hes just not right. Maybe if old boy was gone I'd feel differently? But the silly things that new boy does just pee me off whereas the silly things old boy does make me laugh and be happy.

I think when old boy goes, I will keep new boy (as I feel an obligation to him now, and do kind of like him....) and look for another horse of a life time. I think less look more just wait for him to come into my life........
 
My wonderful horse of a lifetime passed on at the ripe old age of 41 - good innings! I never imagined I would have another, nothing to do my me or my age, just felt the void could never be filled. 18 months later i now have 2 ponies, one rescue one youngster who also wasn't wanted by his owner. I could never have chosen either especially not after my beloved chappy but I am a firm believer that certain things happen at certain times!

I love both my boys very much now, and enough time has elapsed that I no longer make such comparisons, I wouldn't have considered either before as none would have been level pegging with my fella - so in short, you may have another, you may not, but the right one will come along at the right time!!
 
I've been very lucky to own 2 horses of a lifetime!!

Still got one of them - Jesse - but poor old Stevie I lost through a bad accident
And it totally crushed me in so many ways.
I (at the time) still had 2 other horses to look after, but me heart wasn't in it,
My mum got me to buy another comp horse to try to fill the gap - but in all honesty it was too much too soon.

I got to the point of lying about having ridden and would walk into the woods with my dog and break down in tears.

I ended up giving up my job, selling Jesse - who I felt needed to go to someone who would keep him happy ect - I sold my car and lorry, and put Stevies son and the comp horse into full livery and left to work abroad.

It took me 2 years to be able to ride a horse, let alone even thinking of bonding with it.

But now 5 years down the line, I am back with as much heart and soul for my passion of horses before what happened to Stevie.

Had a set back when Jesse broke his leg last year, but he is fully recovered :)

My advise is don't rush it. Don't force yourself and the right horse will find you. All mine are totally different and I love that about them all.

Jesse is still number one, and always will be :)
Stevie is in my heart, and I see her alot in her son.
 
I have a few and all of them mean everything to me - each offers a very different thing to the others and an irreplaceable quality. So, the thought of losing any one - or God forbid more that one - of them fills me with terror and great dread.

I try not to think about a time when my life will no longer revolve around them :( and think grandchildren may well prove to be the continuity. No sign of kids even marrying yet, but you never know...
 
My OH has an interesting philosophy about horses of a lifetime. He is a racehorse trainer and has not yet had that special horse that is just his and when my mare moved into his yard he found it a bit of a novelty that she is let away with murder, spoilt rotten and is basically her own boss because she is my lifetime horse. We do spoil the others but not like dolly gets. In jan this year I lost my beloved dog and at one stage in tears starting the what ifs about dol and how no other horse would replace her. OH responded that if the worst happens I get another and I give it some of the education I've given her and that will help it ultimately become somebody's horse of a lifetime and that if you give every horse a good start it ultimately gives someone their dream and may even give me a second lifetime horse! I do think it is a nice way to think in the sense that you are never trying to replace your lifetime horse but more helping whatever horse you are working with to become a lifetime horse either for you or someone else! In the meantime I'll continue making excuses for my "sensible" 16year old having to get a lead from baby racehorses coz yea she's behaving like a twit but sure she's special!!
 
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