What do you do when you see crazy people at shows?

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Morgan123

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By crazy, i mean just horrible with how they handle their pony/child? Where do you draw the line between what is and isn't worth bringing up with them, and how cna you bring things up constructively??

Was at an SJ event yesterday and there was a horrendous pony club mother with two daughters of about 8 and 10, riding three ponies between them. One of the ponies was a very flashy grey with some sort of driving bit wiht a very long shank, curb chain and standing martingale. i thought to myself, well fair enough - I wouldn't let a child ride in a bit like that but perhaps the child rides very quietly and this is the only bit the pony can wear. however, this then progressed into the mother screaming at the child that she wasn't riding forward enough (child was kicking and pony was going as forward as he could wiht his head so strapped down), and the child crying, and the mother putting spurs on so that she could kick him on more.

all ended in tears as the pony (v well behaved and gallant, i must say, to jump a course with spurs, crying child, massive long shank on its bit, screaming mother 'go faster, kick on!', and standing martingale). On this occasion to be fair the pony didn't look distressed or worried, but it got me thinking. I was so on the verge of asking her whether there was a specific reason to need such a heavy handed bit and martingale if the child also needed spurs and STILL wasn't fast enough - maybe she has a really good reason? I didn't say anytihng and regret it now.

At what point do you decide to talk to someone about that sort of thing (this is far and away not the worst I've seen, but got me thinking!), and how do you approach it constructively so as to mkae the point without getting someone's back up?
 
Morgan123 said:
By crazy, i mean just horrible with how they handle their pony/child? Where do you draw the line between what is and isn't worth bringing up with them, and how cna you bring things up constructively??

Was at an SJ event yesterday and there was a horrendous pony club mother with two daughters of about 8 and 10, riding three ponies between them. One of the ponies was a very flashy grey with some sort of driving bit wiht a very long shank, curb chain and standing martingale. i thought to myself, well fair enough - I wouldn't let a child ride in a bit like that but perhaps the child rides very quietly and this is the only bit the pony can wear. however, this then progressed into the mother screaming at the child that she wasn't riding forward enough (child was kicking and pony was going as forward as he could wiht his head so strapped down), and the child crying, and the mother putting spurs on so that she could kick him on more.

all ended in tears as the pony (v well behaved and gallant, i must say, to jump a course with spurs, crying child, massive long shank on its bit, screaming mother 'go faster, kick on!', and standing martingale). On this occasion to be fair the pony didn't look distressed or worried, but it got me thinking. I was so on the verge of asking her whether there was a specific reason to need such a heavy handed bit and martingale if the child also needed spurs and STILL wasn't fast enough - maybe she has a really good reason? I didn't say anytihng and regret it now.

At what point do you decide to talk to someone about that sort of thing (this is far and away not the worst I've seen, but got me thinking!), and how do you approach it constructively so as to mkae the point without getting someone's back up?
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no chance that she will be reasonable, I would ask the organisers if they have comments, spurs and children are bad news, not to mention the other paraphenalia, this is the only way you can complain really.
 
That's what the stewards are for.

If you are concerned about any behaviour at a show - that's who you speak to, and ask them to take action.
 
Its so hard- but you will never be thanks for saying anything- especially for people like that! so sad poor pony, poor kids :(
 
I would say it's up to the event organisers. Report it to them if it concerns you.

Far too much criticism in the horsey world. You have no idea what the background is to the story you've described. There may be information you are not aware of.
 
Yes exactly I did think (as I said) well maybe there's a good reason for all this stuff on the pony - and the reason I didn't say anything was becuase the pony was a happy type who didn't look overly fussed by the whole thing. The organisers there would definitely not be very helpful. But at other shows I guess that makes sense...
 
Reminds me of a local riding club show I went too - small child on a large pony which was rearing absolutely vertical in the collecting ring. It so nearly came down on another animal and not surprisingly the child on it was screaming in fear. Mother was shouting at her not to be so stupid. Given the risk to everyone else, not least her own child, I went over and told her to get on it herself if she was so brave. Got a mouthful off mother but overheard her telling someone the pony had only been broken in a couple of weeks and this was its first show. I give up.
 
Because the child definitely wasn't, and also I can;t imagine that having a socking great bit, your head tied down and spurs in your ribs is very pleasant long term. I wouldn't hvae wanted to be the pony, especially hen you consider that it probably has to deal wiht this every day and it's things like that that leas to misbehaviour (whihc leads to more gadgets) and so on and so on. Why, is that wrong?!?
 
No it doesn't but I've learnt from being around horses the last 47 years that in these cases you wont help the situation and could well make it worse. At the very least it will spoil your day.
The only time I would get involved would be out and out abuse such as someone beating the crap out of a horse after being elimiated or whatever.
It's about changing the things you can and accepting the things you cant.
 
i really struggle at shows sometimes - esp as I have child protection responsibilities in my job - when i see children being bullied/threatened/even hit - my concern is always that if this is the treatment given in public what in gods' name happens at home:eek:
 
Yeh it's a hard one. I sometimes think that, if you could approach it in a constructive and non-threatening way (e.g. just saying you're interested and wodnerng why the choice of bit) then you might be able to make people at least stop and think. Similarly with the way they treat their children. I guess even if it didn't make a difference all the time, at least once or twice it might. But it's easier said than done i think... such a hard one!
 
I used to know someone who used to judge show pony classes at local shows, she was very proficient and had produced her own ponies to show and was very well known for being a show hunter producer. Well she said the kids were wonderful but most of the mothers were down right rude and abusive. Her phone number was ex directory but a couple of mothers rang and further abused her, she gave up judging in the end because of the hassle.

Its a waste of time for an individual speaking to them, perhaps a steward could have a word with them but doubt any advice given will be taken.
 
It's a hard one, but I'd tell the show sec.

However when I was younger I had a sod of a pony, he wouldn't go into canter unless you really got at him, but when he did he would take off with me to the point of running though hedges just to see if I could hang on:o

Never used spurs though, but I did ride him in a pelham. A few times I can remember being told o get it out of his mouth as it would make him stop, until they saw him piss off with me. I learnt to give him his head when asking for canter and as I got older I was able to control him much better. But when he was sold, the new rider had the same problem.

And yes he was all ok with back, teeth, saddle etc. He just didn't like work and knew how to dump the jockey
 
rubysmum said:
when i see children being bullied/threatened/even hit - my concern is always that if this is the treatment given in public what in gods' name happens at home:eek:
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that's exactly what I was going to say. If they are comfortable, or feel it appropriate to act in such a way in public - then how do they act when they are at home or at their yard?!
 
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