What do you do worth your 6 month old baby when riding?

I don't have kids but I have known people levae them in the baby seat in the car or by the arena gate, or even in a stable. The children in question were unharmed by these experiences ;)
 
imr said:
I don't have kids but I have known people levae them in the baby seat in the car or by the arena gate, or even in a stable. The children in question were unharmed by these experiences ;)
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This happens on our yard - a lot. I have to say we are on what is probably the most child welcoming and family friendly yard I have ever known. It would send some of you on here into a cold shuddering sweat, but we love it and thats why I chose to go there 7 years ago. We all have children of varying ages from 1 year to 18 (my Mini TX), the YO has young children, its their home and they wander around very happily. In fact I found the YO's hubbie in my stable with my cob the other week because one of their children likes to give him kisses, and he kisses them back, and he wanted to sit on him. It didnt worry me in the slightest. We are all aware of each others children and we all know we can bawl a naughty kid out even if its not yours.

I think its a matter of being sensible, and we have all had to take our turns 'babysitting' for each other at varying points while a mum goes hacking or schooling, or even just turing their horse out. None of us minds and we get along just fine.
 
I have a 22 month old and I am currently horseless, by accident really and have been since just before I fell pregnant. I am on the look out for an appropriate horse to share to get back into it, but as I wouldn't like to be in the position where i had to leave my child to ride, i am really only able to ride at weekends as my oh works long unpredictable hours. I would want my riding to be enjoyable and wouldn't want to be constantly worrying what my child was getting up to.

If I still had my own then I woukd probablt ride very early or very late when oh is around and make the most of livery services (if money were no object).

However I am yet to find a weekend only horse to share that I actually want to share in my area. I do actually think that the option of waiting until my child is older is perfectly acceptable. I'm not sure that very small children and horses mix, for me, as I simply don't think I'd find it enjoyable. I can't imagine what it must be like at the moment with all this mud with a small child.
 
I must be a terrible mother, even worst than leaving him in the pram by the side of school (which I did also) but I left mine in the house with the monitor on and snuck out to ride as soon as he was asleep (he's 2 and still sleeps for at least an hour in the day at some point).

He is safe in his cot warm and comfy, and I believe I could jump off and dash indoors (about 50 meters from school gate to back door) just as quickly as I could jump out of the shower, grab a towel and see to him.

My son loves being in the barn, he plays in water buckets, collects poo with the plastic shovel and making feeds is great fun. He is never in contact with the horses (unless held by me) so he's not in real danger, he does trip over things, put stuff in his mouth that tastes grim (chaff apparently isn't that nice!), etc. but IMHO he's learning cause and effect and to make his own decisions/ accept consequences and to be patient waiting for me to do what I need to do. - All good as far as I'm concerned.
 
babies are babies for such a very short time. What exactly is the rush ?

I just dont understand why people feel its acceptable to leave 'babies' in prams at the side of arenas / in arenas/ in stables while they ride.

Im not against children around horses, as that would be totally hypocritical.
, as both of mine have been around horses for many years.

Horses are unpredictable, and a child in a pram around horses in my opinion is at risk.

Each to their own !
 
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Oh dear - why do any child related discussions turn this place into the dreaded mumsnet? :rolleyes::D

Yep - when baby was tiny put her in sling and walked horse for hours to bring back into work (in hand I may add!) then put baby in carry cot on side of indoor school (up high on a huge ledge) so could check every time I went past.

Having gone back to full time work when she was 9 weeks old, I used to leave her with hubby in the evening and ride at 9pm.

Once she was a bit older, I never had any trouble finding someone to play with her at the yard while I rode.

Each to her own ;)
 
Nicnac said:
Oh dear - why do any child related discussions turn this place into the dreaded mumsnet? :rolleyes::D

Yep - when baby was tiny put her in sling and walked horse for hours to bring back into work (in hand I may add!) then put baby in carry cot on side of indoor school (up high on a huge ledge) so could check every time I went past.

Having gone back to full time work when she was 9 weeks old, I used to leave her with hubby in the evening and ride at 9pm.

Once she was a bit older, I never had any trouble finding someone to play with her at the yard while I rode.

Each to her own ;)
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mmm must have a look at mumsnet:cool:
 
My daughter is now 4, when she was younger i used to drive to the yard just before her nap time (had it down to a t), when i arrived at yard shed have just nodded off, litterally flung tack on my horse and rode.I could see her as parked outside arena. There was always others on yard who checked her and if she ever woke i was straight off. Was a fab yard and owner/staff were brill! :D

Yard i was on recently, lady used to leave her wee one in the car for hours and i mean hours!! Went hacking and everything! yes seriously! :eek:
 
I sold my youngster when my daughter was born... wasn't fair on him, and I certainly couldn't leave baby to work him ... so horseless :p But my daughter will get a pony soon, once she two lol
 
Didn't ride until she was older but did take her up yard at 5.30am in a sleeping bag and put her in the corner of stable either in the manger or on the spare shavings bale whilst i mucked out and did horse, didn't have a choice, single full time working mum (not by choice!) and didn't fancy asking parents to babysit at 5.30am in morning for me. She's grown up well adjusted and now shares all the ponies with me and wasn't afraid of a bit of mud until she hit teenagedom.........
 
This is a whole lot more civilised Mumsnet!! ;)

The only time I have an opinion on babies and small children on the yard is when they are causing problems for other liveries. I used to teach at a yard where one of the liveries either shut her child in her stable when she rode, or let her run lose in and around the school.

At another yard one of the liveries always just assumed there would be someone to watch her kids, sometimes leaving them with the YO even when he was in the midst of something like feeding.
 
I wasn't riding when I had a small child but main thing is to train them to sleep when you need it then have them in a safe place you can see them (car best) and let someone know what you are up to.

My daughter is nearly 4 now and very good. I have a DVD player for the vehicle which "only works when we aren't moving";) and she is very happy to watch that as she doesn't really watch TV at home.

I would not have her on her own in the arena when I rode (if I had an arena) nor would I have had her in a pram as I feel that's too dangerous. Pram with bug net in stable in view would be ok.
 
I'm very, very lucky because I'm on a large livery yard (so someone is unsually about) and my mum and sister are both horsey so help me out loads. When my little un was younger she often stayed in the pram or car but I never rode with her near me. More because knowing my luck she would have scream as soon as I got on and I have a youngster who was 4 at the time.
Now she's a toddler is sooo much harder and god knows what I would do without the support of other family members! However, I have often put her in a stable while I've got horses in and out of the field.
Asha comment that yards are no place for babies/toddlers I can't agree with. My little girl is 2 and loves it down there, but I do ensure she stays away if its very cold, etc.
Common sense and muddle through the best you can!
 
My mum used to take me to the yard when I was a tot. I even fell in a water bucket once! I remember being held on top of my mums horse and when I got a bit older my mum used to put me on
the back of the horse in the stable and leave me there! No hat, horse was not tied up or anything and id sit on him hanging on to his rugs while he ate his
dinner.
My mum and dad also used to leave me in the back of the car while they went into the pub as well :o.
My happiest childhood memories were being up at the yard. Its good for kids to be outside I think. Personally when I have my baby im going to leave him at home with daddy for an hr or 2 when I want to go and ride. Or I'll take him to the yard with me and ask my mum to watch him while im riding. Not sure id park him in a field but it is a good possibility if hes sleeping that he'll be left in his buggy just outside the arena gate in the summer!
Im sure its easy enough to work away round it. Where there is a will there's a way!
 
I disagree with the idea that because you have chosen to have children, you must suddenly stop being 'selfish' and 'sacrifice' to become deity-like Mother. In fact, losing all that you are (and with horse people, it's not like giving up a little hobby, it's giving up a lifestyle) renders you an ineffective parent: unhappy and dogged by a vague sense of feeling trapped. Not a healthy environment for children.
I also sense that we would not expect the men in our life to sacrifice in the same way. I say, get rid of the innate guilt and do something that makes you happy. Of course, there's some compromise involved; it would be naive to assume otherwise with the advent of tiny people, but work through, muddle round it and hope that you have the support of friends and family to help you through.
Happy Mum means happy children.
 
The Fuzzy Furry said:
Am embarrassed to say, if my mother could not look after mine at her house or the yard (mother rode too) then I would ensure baby was firmly harnessed into a pram & left in middle of a paddock whilst I rode round her!**
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This! Usually my mum watches my now-9 month old but the horses are at my mums currently, I'll be moving them to my own place as soon as I get my stables built so I wont have her on tap then! In the early days I'd just park him in his buggy on the other side of the paddock gate while I rode (more for safety, I hated the thought of if I fell off the horse could go right up to him so with a gate in between I thought it was a lot safer!). I schooled near him and could stop and talk to him if need be but TBH he learnt that he'd just cry for 2 mins then doze off! Its far more difficult now though as he's now almost walking... so is FAR more mobile - I'm not sure what I'll do once horses are here. I think I'll either have to ride in the morning before he wakes up (usually thats 6.30am... so 5.30 ride?! euch!) or wait until my OH gets home from work which is fine during the summer when evenings are light. Failing all that, think I'll have to put him in a stable! I'm putting my stables in a place where I can in theory just ride up to the stables whilst Im schooling so might work...!! Or I do have fantastic 6ft high steel fencing (like chicken wire size holes) so I could possibly make up a secure play area for him in the corner of the field Im riding in...!! I doubt his usual play pen will hold him in for long...

Nannubu - Totally agree. After falling off a few days ago, my OH had a major strop saying I had to give up the horses as its so selfish when I have a baby now. But I dont see why having a baby means I have to stop the only thing I enjoy in life?! I think Ive calmed him for now, just need to stop falling off (which is so annoying as I never used to fall off, but since Ive had my baby I seem to have had 2 bad falls!).
 
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MagicMelon said:
Nannubu - Totally agree. After falling off a few days ago, my OH had a major strop saying I had to give up the horses as its so selfish when I have a baby now. But I dont see why having a baby means I have to stop the only thing I enjoy in life?! I think Ive calmed him for now, just need to stop falling off (which is so annoying as I never used to fall off, but since Ive had my baby I seem to have had 2 bad falls!).
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Lol - Magic Melon, I know the feeling of the put out husband. My OH has very occasional strop - mostly in Winter when the horse is more time consuming due to being kept in. He soon calms, mostly after a long bout fishing or fell walking. Think it's important to both have your own thing. Sis just broke up with her fiance as his idea of a good time involved her being joined at his hip, usually shopping for soft furnishings in John Lewis. Didn't quite tally with her idea of a good time: hurtling round on her insane ex-racer or shovelling muck. It def helps to have independent OH.
Touch wood I haven't fallen off since having babies. I have, however, started to do little ODEs, much to husband's initial dismay but now enthusiasm (he likes the vicarious adrenaline). I always wear a body protector (even when noone else is e.g. in lessons, unaffiliated jumping) and am saving for air jacket. Don't care what I look like - am more interested in minimising risk of long term injury. Don't much fancy looking after my two boys with cast on!
Hope your run of bad luck has come to an end - invest in some sticky bum jods?
 
nannubu said:
I disagree with the idea that because you have chosen to have children, you must suddenly stop being 'selfish' and 'sacrifice' to become deity-like Mother. In fact, losing all that you are (and with horse people, it's not like giving up a little hobby, it's giving up a lifestyle) renders you an ineffective parent: unhappy and dogged by a vague sense of feeling trapped. Not a healthy environment for children.
I also sense that we would not expect the men in our life to sacrifice in the same way. I say, get rid of the innate guilt and do something that makes you happy. Of course, there's some compromise involved; it would be naive to assume otherwise with the advent of tiny people, but work through, muddle round it and hope that you have the support of friends and family to help you through.
Happy Mum means happy children.
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Agree 100%!! :)
 
I'm not reading that people are feeling guilty, just that they are making different choices. What's wrong with that? Surely it's just as unpleasant to make people feel they are 'wrong' for curtailing their horsey activities when their children are small as it is make people feel guilty for continuing to ride?

I hope the people saying there is always someone on the yard to watch their kids actually mean someone dedicated to the task though! If your instructor or yard staff or fellow liveries are pleased to do it and have the time, brilliant.
 
I 'parked' mine in their pram and rode around them too! I loved getting claps of approval when they were old enough to sit up and take note!! Up until that point they were mainly sleeping, the occasional cry for something, and on the odd occasion I dismounted, quickly fed babe, put them back and finished my riding! Didn't get any complaints from anyone, human or equine!!

Babies become your world, but you don't have to 'just be a mum' - how boring is that!!
 
Thanks guys, you are all making out feel a bit more possible! ! My other half is very good but is usually up for work at 3:30 am so can't ride before work and don't want him to feel he is my built in baby sitter whilst I go and play my little pony!
 
You're his built in baby sitter whilst he goes to work, so I'm not sure why he shouldnt be yours when you go and ride, parenting is a two person job after all, not soley the mother's responsibility ;)
 
nannubu said:
I disagree with the idea that because you have chosen to have children, you must suddenly stop being 'selfish' and 'sacrifice' to become deity-like Mother. In fact, losing all that you are (and with horse people, it's not like giving up a little hobby, it's giving up a lifestyle) renders you an ineffective parent: unhappy and dogged by a vague sense of feeling trapped. Not a healthy environment for children.
I also sense that we would not expect the men in our life to sacrifice in the same way. I say, get rid of the innate guilt and do something that makes you happy. Of course, there's some compromise involved; it would be naive to assume otherwise with the advent of tiny people, but work through, muddle round it and hope that you have the support of friends and family to help you through.
Happy Mum means happy children.
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I don't think anyone is saying that, and not everyone is unhappy about giving up their horses (saying this as someone who would probably be unhappy if I had to give them up). Some people on this thread are clearly very content with their choices, whatever these are, so I don't think you can assume that one option or another will make other 'lose themselves'.

Happy mum does not mean happy children any more so than happy owner means happy horse. It really depends on what mums derive their happiness from and whether this has anything to do with *making* their children happy.
 
sam-b said:
Thanks guys, you are all making out feel a bit more possible! ! My other half is very good but is usually up for work at 3:30 am so can't ride before work and don't want him to feel he is my built in baby sitter whilst I go and play my little pony!
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You both need some time off. I am sure working is not all fun for him, not anymore than looking after a baby is all fun for you, so if you can find some compromise where leisure time includes both family time and alone time for each one of you, it would be perfect...it's not easy to do though!
 
I left mine outside the arena fence and rode, unless they were already asleep in the car which was parked where I could see and hear them.
Never rode for more than 30 minutes if they were there and certainly would not have put them in the arena and ridden round them. That just has to be one of the most stupid and dangerous things I've ever heard.

One livery used to put hers in the car for hours while she mucked out, rode, had coffee etc, even if the little one's were poorly. One day she left her baby in the car and went out for a hack. Her car was broken into and her handbag stolen. In the bag were some photo's of the baby as a newborn.

Few days later a letter was sent to the YO with the photo's enclosed and a note saying, 'You might like these photo's back, but you need to take better care of your baby'.

Funny old world when a thief has better morals than a child's mother.
 
Op once the nights are lighter you will be able to ride once she is in bed and your husband is home without feeling like you are asking too much of him. Won't be long now!
 
nannubu said:
I disagree with the idea that because you have chosen to have children, you must suddenly stop being 'selfish' and 'sacrifice' to become deity-like Mother. In fact, losing all that you are (and with horse people, it's not like giving up a little hobby, it's giving up a lifestyle) renders you an ineffective parent: unhappy and dogged by a vague sense of feeling trapped. Not a healthy environment for children.
I also sense that we would not expect the men in our life to sacrifice in the same way. I say, get rid of the innate guilt and do something that makes you happy. Of course, there's some compromise involved; it would be naive to assume otherwise with the advent of tiny people, but work through, muddle round it and hope that you have the support of friends and family to help you through.
Happy Mum means happy children.
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thankyou , that has made me feel much morwe solid in some of the decisions i have made sine my 2 children arrived. i have 9 atm and my oh is a full time fisherman , with a 4yr old chjild and 5 month old baby i still manage..
 
Booboos said:
I don't think anyone is saying that, and not everyone is unhappy about giving up their horses (saying this as someone who would probably be unhappy if I had to give them up). Some people on this thread are clearly very content with their choices, whatever these are, so I don't think you can assume that one option or another will make other 'lose themselves'.

Happy mum does not mean happy children any more so than happy owner means happy horse. It really depends on what mums derive their happiness from and whether this has anything to do with *making* their children happy.
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The guilt complex comment wasn't directed at anyone on this thread: as I read it, I think very few (if any) posters on here have completely given up on horses for the sake of small kids and I applaud that decision. Similarly, if they had chosen, with a heart and a half, to forgo horses to raise children, I would also admire that decision - in both scenarios, they would be, after all, making a decision based on what makes them happy.

My comments on 'guilt' and the expectation of sacrifice in motherhood are based on a wealth of horsey friends and the reactions of those around when they declared their intention to keep their horses or keep riding. One close friend was effectively emotionally blackmailed into selling her horse, a decision she has regretted ever since.

I do stand by the ethos that a happy Mum makes for happy children. They are adept at feeding off nuances of mood and tone at a young age.
 
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