what do you expect from a trainer/ any horror stories??

diggerbez

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i've come to a conclusion over the last few weeks that sometimes people (myself included) take too much crap from their 'trainers' (not trying to sound arsey btw- insert instructor or whatever else you would prefer if 'trainer' is not what you would use! :p) ... it often seems that it becomes a one-way street with people moving heaven and earth to get lessons with people who then turn out to be not very good, or just plain rude or unreliable... what horror stories do you have (humour me, i'm bored :rolleyes:) and what do you expect from a trainer?
i have an absolutely fantastic SJ trainer by the way and also use someone else for all round eventing stuff who is brilliant but especially with regards to pure dressage i have really struggled to find someone i like/horse likes and is reliable... my favourite story is when trainer X rang me and said "i can't come...i'm at Y's yard and their horse has broken its leg in field and i need to stay and wait for the vet"....obviously i i was fine with this...thought it was a horrible thing to happen. anyway...a few months later i saw trainer X at a show with person Y - who was riding the very same horse that was supposed to have broken its leg!!!! why lie about something so horrible? why not just say you can't be bothered coming as that was obviously the case! :mad:
 
I think on the whole in the UK there is a good system. The BHS system put the foundations in place, and whilst I didn't have much respect for the AI qualification in itself I think everything above that you really have to know your stuff. With the advent of the UKCC I think equestrianism is catching up and matching more "forward thinking" sports, and the pedagogical side of teaching has really been brought to the forefront. It is painfully obvious here how this is lacking. Most instructors here still think it's ok to spend the lesson screaming at their students, reducing them to tears (yes, at a senior * and ** riders' training course offered by the NF, and this was a friend who is not easily intimidated!), and generally not giving the slightest bit of thought to anything other than the technical machinations of riding and exhorting people to try harder. Of course trainers need to know what they are talking about, and need to have in depth understanding of how and why for both horse and rider, but they need to be able to impart this and understand how people actually learn. Sorry if I've gone off point a bit, BIG bug bear of mine here!

As a rider I've rarely had a lesson with someone where I've not learnt something, as I don't mind different teaching styles, although would rather avoid the extremes of saying nothing and talking at me ALL the time! I don't mind a trainer running a bit late, but dislike walking round on my horse for 30 minutes before a lesson. Oh, and fair enough, quickly answer your phone but I am NOT paying for a trainer to spend ages on the phone. Neither of mine do this but I get very angry on other people's behalf when I see this!
 
I'll be keeping an eye on this as I am in the situation of looking for an instructor at the moment. It will be the first time I've been in this situation so I'm a bit nervous about the whole thing (I really want to avoid an embarrassing situation where I have to tell them I don't want to have lessons with them any more :o)

So, what am I after?

I certainly don't want a shouter, riding is something I do for pleasure, we aint going to Badminton but we do want to improve. I would never give money to someone who destroys confidence or belittles.

Someone who appreciates my level and doesn't expect me to be jumping 1.40m and doing half passes at the drop of a hat. (fairly sure the horse wouldn't appreciate that either :p)

To be reasonably priced, honest, attentive, reliable and respect the others on my yard.

To have had some sort of fairly decent competition record - not necessarily international superstar status as I don't think is any guarantee of good teaching (and I can't afford them :o) Also to have had experience of lots of different horses in a competetive environment.

I don't want someone who only looks at the horse and not at me if you know what I mean? I do not want to be constantly doing little circles to improve the horses position either (very tedious for both of us - that's the voice of experience :rolleyes:). Can we please just jump some fences, get my confidence up and get horse going forward before we start worrying about the finer points of impulsion, position and engagement?

Someone who listens to my inane questions and tries to explain why we are doing something. I don't care much for the "shouting orders - you follow em" style. I think you have to be a pretty good rider already to get anything out of that.

T_E, interesting what you say about instructors over here. I can only go on reputation and watch their lessons at the moment. Fingers crossed though, I think I may have found someone :)
 
As a rider I've rarely had a lesson with someone where I've not learnt something, as I don't mind different teaching styles, although would rather avoid the extremes of saying nothing and talking at me ALL the time!

Oh yeah, that would be another one for me - I can't stand being yapped at when I'm concentrating on doing something. I need to do it and then discuss it after. My poor brain can't cope with two things at once. I guess that's just my personal preference though.

Oh and another pet hate - when the horse has a rodeo moment and I'm just glad to be staying in the saddle I don't appreciate someone yelling that I'm cr*p because horse got jabbed in the gob as he put his head between his knees.
 
not really a ''HORROR'' story, but my mum, years back, won a dressage/flatwork lesson from a competition in a magazine with this apparently really good woman instructor. I think she was BHS but i can't remember, was years ago, i think i was only about 11 or 12 at the time!!

when the day came for the lesson - and my mum's horse at the time, well, he was terrified of the woman! she has crazy frizzy hair (not that that is a bad thing haha) but she was very loud/kept doing big movements, therefore kept spooking the poor horse, he didn't want to go near her!! :p

my mum then told me that the lesson consisted of her having to canter fast (more towards gallop) around in circles round and round and round for about 20minutes or so around this woman while she goes ''good. well done'' repeatedly..

now to me, that is definitely not a productive lesson... tiring the horse out cantering round in circles.. how strange..!!


as for what i want out of an instructor/trainer - well i have a very good one at the moment :) he is reasonably priced, local - so a nice 15-20minutes jounrney there, he is calm, relaxed, doesn't shout, reliable, but attentive and listens, gives me good exercises/advice (and is generally a good teach) and is sympathetic to my level of riding and doesn't push me to do anything i don't want to or is out of my reach. He is good to the horses and gets on with them (and they like him too) and i haven't yet been able to fault him.
 
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I expect to come away having learnt something new, or the horse at least to be going noticeably better.

In a jumping lesson, I'm not expecting to jump bigger every time, but if instructor gives me tips on how to get that little bit better rhythm, or just a better over all jump, I'll be happy.

dressage - well anyone who makes me ride more effectivley is worth their weight in gold :P I'm not a dressage rider lol!

I'm still to meet an instructor who can teach a way to sit in trot without giving yourself black eyes and a very sore back - if any can I will pay you a trillion pounds to come teach me!
 
I have a great instructor but a few years ago decided to treat myself to a lesson with a local SJer.
Lesson went great & got really useful advice.
Booked another one a few months later & 1/2 way into lesson he walked off & he spent a good 10-15 mins admiring his neighbours new trailer whilst I walked round the arena!
Then wandered back & said the horse looked really hot & thought we should leave it there!
I wasn't happy with the way horse had been jumping so said requested to jump another round,did jump better but as his instructors interest seemed to be evaporating I left it at that.
Haven't been back as the horse then had about a year or so off proper work,have resumed lessons with my normal,wonderful instructor & will be sticking with her!
 
Someone who isn't at me to nag at the whole the whole time, I hate the whole kick, kick, pull pull attitude of so many people in 'order to get the horses head in'. I like instructors who will act out what I need to be doing, and what the horses legs need to be doing - its informative, and more often than not - its funny :p

Its handy to have someone who can get on your horse too, as sometimes it useful to see what your horse is doing from the ground. My current instructor is great, doesn't blame me if things go wrong, and picks apart my position etc, and tells me very basic things about body positioning in order to get the best out of each move - many instructors focus again too much on the hands and legs, and not enough on the hips, shoulders and everything else. :)

I also had a lesson with a lovely (note the sarcasm ;) ) PC instructor when I was 28, after spending 18 months in aus and beign back riding for two weeks. I didn't get on with her at PC as she wasn't very good, and told me the day before my B test that I would fail it :o

Anyhow, I rode my horse around for 5 mins and her quick summary of my riding was that I 'rode like sh 1t' - lovely! Onto the jumping, and she told me after this I needed to be careful not to ruin him. Erm, my horse, who is now 8, who I've had since he was four - no, I think I've done ok so far not ruining him thanks.
 
I don't want someone who only looks at the horse and not at me if you know what I mean?
...
Someone who listens to my inane questions and tries to explain why we are doing something. I don't care much for the "shouting orders - you follow em" style. I think you have to be a pretty good rider already to get anything out of that.

These are the deal makers/breakers for me.

I need an instructor who improves ME - the better I ride, the better my horses will go. I cannot stand an instructor who hasn't got the nerve to criticise me, but will willingly crit my horses instead. I don't want flattery, I want to improve!
I cannot stand an instructor who says to me, as one did, "are you here to ask questions or learn? Just get on with it!" I never went back to that one...
Umm, since when are those two mutually exclusive? I need to know WHY because unfortunately I cannot have a trainer there every time, so I need to have the understanding, so that I get it right when on my own!

The very last thing I need is a jumping instructor who is nit-picky about absolutely perfect striding, and who bellows at me if I'm a tiny bit out. I'll already be berating myself, thanks, so please, just calmly help me to improve the canter or whatever needs doing, and let me come again and do it better... I never claimed to be John Whitaker! ;) ;) ;)
(btw, LG is the absolute best for this, I've seen people do some appalling missers in her sessions and she just sings out "GREAT, he'll learn from that, come again!" and there's always a huge improvement next time, imho because she didn't[/] turn it into a crit-fest!)
 
A friend had a horror story.

Her daughter won a lesson with a **very** well known showing name. And I went along as a bit of a jolly.
The pony they had was a hairy cob who was fittish.

They arrived and Mrs X tells rider to get on and before the pony has taken one step Mrs X puts draw reins on - because "no horse can be schooled properly without them" she never asked the experience of pony/rider - for all Mrs X knew she could have been on a 4 yo that had never done a flatwork lesson. She then made them canter solidly for 20mins to "tire the pony into a perfect submission"

At this point my friend asks for the lesson to end there and then. Mrs X says "it is amateurs like you that make me waste my life, I could have creating another rosette machine."

Mrs X just made me :eek:
 
Of course trainers need to know what they are talking about, and need to have in depth understanding of how and why for both horse and rider, but they need to be able to impart this and understand how people actually learn. Sorry if I've gone off point a bit, BIG bug bear of mine here!

i think that this is really important...i am a teacher (of the school variety) and so its something i (should) know a fair bit about :rolleyes: had loads of lessons over the years where horse has gone great...and they i've got off and have no idea what has just happened...because so many instructions have been shouted out i have no idea what i should be doing. i actually have a very small brain and so need a maximum of about 3/4 things to work on in between lessons- Rome wasn't built in a day after all! ;)
 
A friend had a horror story.

Her daughter won a lesson with a **very** well known showing name. And I went along as a bit of a jolly.
The pony they had was a hairy cob who was fittish.

They arrived and Mrs X tells rider to get on and before the pony has taken one step Mrs X puts draw reins on - because "no horse can be schooled properly without them" she never asked the experience of pony/rider - for all Mrs X knew she could have been on a 4 yo that had never done a flatwork lesson. She then made them canter solidly for 20mins to "tire the pony into a perfect submission"

At this point my friend asks for the lesson to end there and then. Mrs X says "it is amateurs like you that make me waste my life, I could have creating another rosette machine."

Mrs X just made me :eek:

:eek: i wonder how prevalent this approach/ attitude is in the showing world? i know a few people who show at top top levels and they do the exact same thing- the whole tiring a horse out for HOURS before a showing class... so that the horse will behave...
 
I am just starting to pay more attention to my trainers and what I want from them. That might sound daft, but as my horse and I are starting to actually work properly, I find I'm getting pickier about the trainers :D :D

I want a trainer who makes all the gobbledegook clear :D. Who doesn't confuse me with technicalities beyond mine and my horse's current capabilities, but who will stretch us just a bit each time :cool:

We currently have two trainers and they are brill :D. One is more technical than the other, who is more fun orientated (if that makes sense).


I hate trainers who will not listen to the rider's/horse's history! There is a reason my horse goes along like a camel on speed, but thanks to trainers who do listen, she now looks much more like a horse :cool:
 
Totally agree with t_e re. the pedagogical aspect.

I have a horror story - this is AGES ago and not in the UK, but a v.v. well respected trainer, one of the 'big names' in the country (been to Olympics and all that, and a genuinely good rider) once made one of their pupils stand for hours (well maybe not hours, but it felt like that) on a pile of manure at a show grounds after doing not so well in his test, wearing a sign that read 'I am cr*p'. :eek: Even more shockingly, said young rider clearly was not too affected by this as he is now a successful international rider himself.

Such an approach would definitely NOT have worked with me :D :D
 
I've had some truely shocking lessons!! Where I've come away more confused and less confident then when I started.
I can honestly say there is only one instructor that really made a massive difference to my riding, my confidence and the way I train my horse. She made it feel easy, flow and she made subtle changes to my riding that I didn't even realise it was happening, she was methodical buy sympathetic and literally she made me an amazing rider.
Sadly she's moved away, so gutted.
Apart from the 1 person (in my whole 22 years of riding including PC) I haven't found anyone who's had the same effect. I've had the truely shocking to the instructors who have helped a bit. It's really hard to find someone who's able to fill in all the gaps so to speak.
 
A friend had a horror story.

Her daughter won a lesson with a **very** well known showing name. And I went along as a bit of a jolly.
The pony they had was a hairy cob who was fittish.

They arrived and Mrs X tells rider to get on and before the pony has taken one step Mrs X puts draw reins on - because "no horse can be schooled properly without them" she never asked the experience of pony/rider - for all Mrs X knew she could have been on a 4 yo that had never done a flatwork lesson. She then made them canter solidly for 20mins to "tire the pony into a perfect submission"

At this point my friend asks for the lesson to end there and then. Mrs X says "it is amateurs like you that make me waste my life, I could have creating another rosette machine."

Mrs X just made me :eek:

oh dear!!!! thats horrendous!!! hopefully that isn't spread throughout the whole showing world!!!!! :(
 
The one of the worse lessons I have ever had was with at BSJA Area training. The guy just stood in the middle of the arena and smoked a fag. He made us trot around on a loose rein as fast as we could for 30 mins and then stared at someone and mumbled something from the side of his mouth. I think he was trying to teach telepathically.

Worse was that I took a day off work to go.
 
I must be fairly easily pleased as I have taken something from most instructors. There's some I would not seek to go to again as don't think they represent good value for money.
Like kerrili though the key to upsetting me is being nasty about my horse rather than me :p The one I will not return to managed it twice in our only lesson. It was a group lesson and first off they got my back up by asking absolutely nothing about me and my horse but palling up to the other riders that they knew. I got pulled up for warming up in a long and low outline and when I justified this by saying horse was only 5 I was told she did not care and the horse in the last lesson was the same age and it could do half passes blah, blah, blah. Then when we had a jump down in a grid and she told me to pull him up and give him a damn good kicking as horses need to be taught to have a conscience..... hmmm. This is a very careful horse and also very sensitive had I followed this advice I'd have had a nervous wreck on my hands
 
I had a nightmare of a lesson a few years back:
Had a lesson with my friend on Olly, and the instructor asked if she could get on Olly and I said of course. Well she shortened her reins so much that Olly was fighting her the whole way round and yes she got him in an outline but every time he came above the bit she 'corrected' him but yanking him in the mouth - I saw the bit move about an inch each time she did it. So after a couple of minutes I walked up to her and asked her to stop yanking him around by his mouth and loosen her reins to which she replied
"well I got him going nicely isn't he on the bridle, I didn't see you riding him like that you're riding like a complete novice, he's not engaging at all and now you're talking like you know it all". To which I replied that I never for one moment thought that I knew it all but I knew Olly a lot better than she did and he is incredibly light in the mouth and I ride with fairly long reins because of this, I also told her that he is a nervous, anxious pony and doesn't react well to being forced to do things. I don't take any **** from him by any means but if he is getting worried by what I am asking him to do I find another way to ask rather than forcing him to do it.
So I told her to get off, got back on him, rode with my reins the length I always do and then did a perfect walk/canter transition demonstrating that I can get him to engage to which she made a really bitchy comment and marched off, then she had the cheek to ask me for my money! I told her in no uncertain terms where she could put it and went to turn Olly back out.

I have a system of training where the position of the horses head is the last thing I think about, by the time I had got round to it with Olly he was in self carriage which is the point I was trying to make with this particular "instructor".
 
I've had some truely shocking lessons!! Where I've come away more confused and less confident then when I started.
I can honestly say there is only one instructor that really made a massive difference to my riding, my confidence and the way I train my horse. She made it feel easy, flow and she made subtle changes to my riding that I didn't even realise it was happening, she was methodical buy sympathetic and literally she made me an amazing rider.
Sadly she's moved away, so gutted.
Apart from the 1 person (in my whole 22 years of riding including PC) I haven't found anyone who's had the same effect. I've had the truely shocking to the instructors who have helped a bit. It's really hard to find someone who's able to fill in all the gaps so to speak.

Yes I agree. I've had some fabulous fabulous trainers but there is one in particular who just stands out, with her I just ride *differently*...There's a quote in Harry Boldt's book, by Willi Schultheis talking about his mentor / trainer that goes "You would just totally forget all sense of time and space and you were often astonished at how much better you would ride on his commands than you actually could ride". So true, that's exactly what I felt with her - I was a much better rider in front of her eyes, than I actually am. Just amazing.
 
I think it depends on your level as to how much you can put up with an instructor's "quirks" aswell. I think if you're a good rider and very focused you can tolerate someone's ways if they genuinely get the best out of you and the horse.

I've been witness to a high level instructor here (ex-French team member, cadre noir etc etc). He's quite a "character" and if he isn't interested he'll think nothing about chatting to people watching, taking the mickey out of the rider and has even been known fall asleep during a lesson :eek:.

However, he does know his stuff and if he clicks with the person and likes the horse he's amazing. I remember seeing him teaching a girl once and she asked him why he'd given her a certain bit of advice, he turned to all of us watching, put his hands inthe air and ranted "ME I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HORSES......". I did chuckle - it was a stoopid question - can't accuse him of being overly commercial eh? :D
 
I have experienced some fantastic instructors and some appalling ones over the years. The best ones accepted that my small, quirky horse was an individual with his own way of going and that trying to make him go like a conventional, bigger horse wouldn’t work. Dick Stillwell (for those old enough to remember him) impressed upon me the need to respect his individuality. One other well know instructor tried to change him and then apologised saying he was wrong which earned me his respect too. The bad ones were the ones that seemed to think all horses should be treated and trained identically and couldn’t deviate from their plan when things went wrong.

Now it’s my son who has trainers. His regular ones are all people whom he gets on with, can discuss things with and help plan future training with. He has also experienced some less than ideal people. The one that really sticks in my mind was about 8 yrs ago with an international show jumper and a renowned “character”. My son had had good lessons from him previously as had other people I know. The lesson started late and for the first 15 mins he rode a horse belonging to people from the previous lesson while son warmed up. He then gave my son literally 10 mins of instruction shared with two others before the session was ended as the arena was required for clear round jumping. We had paid £50 for this – never again. I also heard reports of him teaching whilst drunk :eek:

On another occasion he went to stay with a trainer for a few days. When I arrived to collect him I noticed our mare’s mouth was red raw and cut. I rounded on him for being rough and he told me he hadn’t ridden her after the first day and the trainer had been working her. The trainer then appeared and said “It’s a pity about her mouth but we had to get her going better and it’ll heal soon”. The sensitive skinned mare had to have 10days off when she came home before we could contemplate putting a bit in her mouth again.


My son is very happy with his regular trainers and has also had the good fortune to have some sessions with some fantastic people on a one off basis either at clinics or as a guinea pig at demos – Kenneth Clawson, Blyth Tait and Christopher Bartle were all superb and he learnt from each of them however continuity is very important so someone he can use regularly is important to us.
 
When I came back to riding after a long break my instructors were the 'shouty' variety, at that time I knew no better. I was encouraged to buy a horse that I wasn't ready for and who wasn't ready for me. Ended in a disaster one morning when we were being asked to do something that neither of us were balanced enough to do. Ended up being screamed at, poor horse taking off and leaving me with the decision of whether to hit instructor off her horse or to take a pull and attempt to jump the school fence onto the car park. Took a pull horse slipped fell on me and skidded a good 10 foot through a huge puddle. It was the middle of November and both of us were wet and covered in school surface from head to toe. Took me 3 days to get the sand out of his and my ears.
Not long after that, and no further lessons from that instructor horse was moved to a yard to be sold. There I met 2 instructors who quietly built up my confidence and my horses shattered confidence and I kept him for a good few years after that.
Have also had a nightmare with a well respected BE trainer who in fifteen minutes ruined the relationship between my daughter and her new pony, despite me trying to intervene.
Am now very careful who I will go to for training, tend to send OH (who is an instructor of the quiet type) and then get him to teach me.
 
I have a high tolerance as rode for years with someone who could best be described as "difficult". He used to do things like walk into the ring, sit on a box watching in complete silence, finally put his head in his hands with a sigh, mutter something like, "Why? Why do I even try?" and then walk out. :rollseyes:

However, he was incredibly knowledgeable and I had no money. Oddly, he was VERY cheap and had very few clients so I often got his undivided attention. :D

I've seen some very good people get it very wrong, but then get it very right with other people. I saw Lucinda Green - whom no one would doubt - cause someone to have a cracking fall years ago because she misjudged the horse. I'm sure that girl went away with a less than cheery feeling but I'm sure Lucinda learned from it. People seem to forget that instructors are learning, too, and their work is always progressing. That may be hard to swallow when you're paying money but good people will take what you say on board so it's always worth speaking up if you think someone might not "get" you or your horse.

I've ridden with a few drunks over the years . . .a lot depends on when on the day you catch them. ;)

I did have a funny one once, when I took two horses to a clinic with a GP rider who flew in from California lust to teach the clientele of a very ritzy dressage barn. He was charming and chatty and made them all feel like a million bucks. I came in, he asked me a bit about the horse, watched for a few minutes . . . and then started to YELL. You could hear all the ladies, sitting watching with their coffee and cake, gasp. :D He turfed me off the horse and rode it like he stole it - it was a big, idle stallion and I was not getting the best out of him by far. Then I got straight on the next horse and he started yelling before I even hit the tack. :D Unfortunately, I also had a fairly good dose of the flu and half way through that lesson I had to get off and throw up! :( I got back on but it was pretty brutal. Afterwards he clearly felt pretty awful, as I hadn't said I was sick. But I took it for what it was - he felt I was worth yelling at. I've had similar from other trainers. There is a particular type of trainer who is only "motivated" by people they think are worth it. They might be perfectly lovely and charming to other people but they won't give them their best.
 
I need a trainer who will critique me, I'm not offended when someone says I'm not doing this or that correctly, after all that is why I'm there. I don't want shouty but I do want a task master.

If I have not got on with someone, then I just don't go back simples - not everyone can click with everyone. In my case it's normally as Kerilli says they are doing the 'lets blame the horse', err no it's usually me.

I also think it is not necessarily what you are saying but how you say it. I have a friend who was an instructor in a former life (says her bones are to old for the cold now), she was old school and quite tough, I still see her myself now and then and recently sent R to her to be put through B test (boot camp) training. Once a group of us had a lesson and she said to a friend 'oh dear, there's always one teaspoon left at the bottom of the washing up bowl and today that's you'. She should have been offended but laughed so much she nearly fell off her horse. That instructor although tough, could say what she liked as she had great knowledge but most importantly a sense of humour.
 
I think on the whole in the UK there is a good system. The BHS system put the foundations in place, and whilst I didn't have much respect for the AI qualification in itself I think everything above that you really have to know your stuff. With the advent of the UKCC I think equestrianism is catching up and matching more "forward thinking" sports, and the pedagogical side of teaching has really been brought to the forefront. It is painfully obvious here how this is lacking. Most instructors here still think it's ok to spend the lesson screaming at their students, reducing them to tears (yes, at a senior * and ** riders' training course offered by the NF, and this was a friend who is not easily intimidated!), and generally not giving the slightest bit of thought to anything other than the technical machinations of riding and exhorting people to try harder. Of course trainers need to know what they are talking about, and need to have in depth understanding of how and why for both horse and rider, but they need to be able to impart this and understand how people actually learn. Sorry if I've gone off point a bit, BIG bug bear of mine here!

As a rider I've rarely had a lesson with someone where I've not learnt something, as I don't mind different teaching styles, although would rather avoid the extremes of saying nothing and talking at me ALL the time! I don't mind a trainer running a bit late, but dislike walking round on my horse for 30 minutes before a lesson. Oh, and fair enough, quickly answer your phone but I am NOT paying for a trainer to spend ages on the phone. Neither of mine do this but I get very angry on other people's behalf when I see this!

When i was at Uni we were taught the pedagogy of teaching riding as well as the subject knowledge, and I absolutely agree this is where a lot of trainers/instructors fall down. Not that i am really using this learning any more...I am now a Primary teacher!:D
 
IME a good trainer will always encourage you and never rubbish you, especially in public or in a group lesson situation for e.g.

A good trainer will also know how to challenge you without going OTT and scaring you witless!!!

She will make her sessions interesting yet (again) keep you on the edge of your comfort-zone and won't hesitate to push you just that bit further from where you're comfy.

She will understand the relationship with you and your horse and will always be committed to developing that relationship; however quirky. IF she felt that a horse/rider combination just wasn't working and wasn't ever going to work, my trainer would, I know, be brave enough to say so honestly.

I trust my trainer absolutely implicitly: she turned me and my boy around from being nervous wrecks who couldn't hack out solo or in traffic, into a combination who can hack past a local quarry on a work-day!!!

She also helped with the loading issues my boy had; to the extent that when we went to a Horse Agility Comp; where they had a "walk-through" trailer as an obstacle - we got 10 out of 10!!!

Now, THAT's a good trainer............
 
Btw, I am not excusing bad behaviour - you should never be rude to people who are paying you money or asking for your help - just saying sometimes at least one of the mitigating factors is how much you want that person's help. Mark Todd once called a horse I rode in a clinic "The Camel" :D. But it didn't stop me getting a lot out of the clinic.

The worst experiences I've had are with people who are so full of themselves, they are there to serve an agenda not teach the people in front of them. I did a clinic once with a very famous but also famously belligerent sj trainer and every time anyone asked him a question he took it as a challenge to his program and launched into a long explanation about how he was right and everyone else in show jumping was wrong. Ho hum. Boooorrrrring.

That and people who don't like horses. Why anyone would want to be a horse trainer when they don't like horses is beyond me. All the great horsemen I've met like horses, although they may not like people very much! ;)
 
From my point of view; I like a teacher that will explain things properly to me (it's surprising how many can't), and someone who will generally give some degree of praise. For example, my sister's teacher will say 'well, x and y were great; now if you just do z then we can make it even better because...'. I think there's very little value in contantly trashing someone's confidence.

It also helps if they have patience- I'm dyspraxic and it can take a while for something to process, whether it's an instruction or a feel from the horse, so it just doesn't work if I have a teacher who expects me to get it right first time.

I also like to have a teacher who keeps learning and revising their own ideas; it drives me mad that some teachers seem to be under the impression that there's nothing more they can possibly learn.
 
A friend once paid for a lesson for me with her trainer who is a list one judge, the 10 minutes I rode my horse for her to assess us were great the remaining 50 minutes were spent watching her whip my horse in a walk, walk shoulder-in, and walk circles, when she got off she said he is arragant and ignorant and I think there is something wrong with his back, she then said ' When did you want to book again!!!!!!!!


That was easy I just said Never!

He was ridden by other instructors since then who were at a similar level, who all said what a lovely chap, and I've even had judges seek me and him out in the car park at shows to talk about the test we have just done and how lovely he is, so I was pleased that no-one else had ever said such horrible things about him, he is as straight forward and clever as they come, and she judged him so wrong, mind you I think she only stayed in walk as she looked scared to trot him, the lesson I learnt was the moment that you don't like the way someone is riding your horse regardless of who they are, tell them to get off then ****** off, do not sit there and let them berate your good horse!
 
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