what do you expect/want from your trainer?

I think this is a really interesting thread ! And very topical for me having literally just read the the first page in BD magazine that says 'it's not training for the faint-hearted though, you have to accept that its your fault the horse isn't going as well and ride better'....
Judging from the replies a lot of people on here would agree with that. Be fantastic if that ethos filtered through to our instructors and they started concentrating more on the rider than the horse. Couple of other things that occurred to me as well though ; can you respect (take instruction) from someone who has not proved themself at the level you want to ride at ? Im not sure if I could. I dont mind 'eyes on the ground' from anyone who can spot the basic things, but to accept fairly harsh criticism I would have to feel they knew what they were talking about. Secondly, I do agree with the person who said if an instruction isnt working, its up to the instructor to try a different tack. I dont believe many people spend money to wilfully get things wrong
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I no longer ride but have paid for many many lessons for my daughter over the years.
I would say the first priority is honesty.
If you and the trainer discuss your aims and they feel it's none starter, I would rather know than waste both person's time and effort.
Then I want their enthusiasm , if you feel they are as keen for you to succeed as you are that's great.
Some people are a bit abrasive in their methods, and anyone who screamed at me always made me much worse, but as you say, just saying something is well done when it patently isn't is hopeless.
Over the years we have tried various trainers, from the famous names to the not so well known, and we tend to stick with the ones who actually make you feel you are improving.
Several "names" spend far too much time playing to the watchers instead of what they are getting paid for; others concentrate on one person in a group and forget the rest. several times because my daughter has been the most capable in a group she has been told "Well it's obvious you know what you are doing so I didn't feel the need to say anything".
That's not what you go for!
We tend to go for a private lesson and also try and also make use of any visiting experts, most people have something of use which you can take away with you we find.
Our current dressage trainer is excellent. We found her several years ago after my daughter joined in one of her clinics, daughter came home and said she had understood more about how to ride her horse in one night than several years with other people..
It helps that she rides and competes to Grand Prix herself , and is trained by top trainers regularly, she had a couple of schoolmasters for my daughter to learn on, and that was a huge help.
She also goes that extra mile; she drove along to a competition to lend my daughter her best saddle to compete in, as she knew it would help her.
If training isn't going that easily that night, she will stay until the problem is sorted regardless of how long that may take.
She always reads through the dressage sheets and offers constructive help.
We also have a couple of people we use for SJ, one is an accreditted BSJA trainer, the other a BE one. Both have vastly differing methods but both have a lot to offer.
This spring we hope to join in on a Lucinda G clinic and a few other similar names.
I suppose at the end of the day you want value for money and that glow of warm satisfaction after a lesson.
I know when I taught if I didn't get a feeling of satisfaction myself too, I felt I had failed. I think some people just love teaching and for the time I did it, I was one of those.
Even now I check H and H every week to see if former pupils names appear, I'd be lying if I didn't say it makes me very happy when I see they have done well
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Your last comment about realising it's mostly the rider who has problems is the basis for all teaching in my mind, unless you can sit without causing problems, you should wait to train a horse until you can... I can see however many people getting uppity about that!
 
I would rather have a trainer tell me the truth and be to the point - cant stand this softly nicey nicey approach with the constant flow of "Thats it, Thats nice, well done" garb...... Someone who is firm and will push you to your limit, having made an assessment of exactly what your limit is, obviously someone who doesn't bully you, but makes you go past your little comfort zone to get the results.

Is this you partoow! (Considering I'm too late to back out now as I've booked to have some training with you!)
 
I’ve been trained by ppl who themselves have been trained on the continent and much prefer their approach to training.
I’ve had training with named ppl in this country, very high up in dressage circles but they spent the whole time working on the horse and not on me the rider. I know I had faults and IMO how can you possibly work on the horse if the rider is spending the whole time blocking the poor horse?

I have become a much more disciplined rider from the training ive received from my peers and hope have become a much better rider from it.

It’s just a shame I can’t have some regular sessions tbh.

I don’t think I need to be yelled at during my lessons, but I do like to be told straight and work on my faults - that is, after all why im there in the first place.
 
I don't pay someone to stand in the middle and say 'well done' - my OH can do that for free!

What I do pay for is someone who tells me what is wrong and how to correct it, but who is also sympathetic to my style of riding, which is why I found the SJ lessons with Bill Levett so brilliant - he had me try a few ways of doing things, asked which made me most confident then worked with that style. It took longer to get it spot on, but I never lost confidence, which has happened in the past as I am a wuss about SJ!

For flat work, I struggle if too much is changed at once, so altering one or two things at a time is the way forward for me. I know I am no great shakes on the flat, but equally, I have limited time and money and have two other phases to also get right, so for me, rightly or wrongly, it is about consistent improvement rather than total perfection.
 
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