What have I gotten myself into :/

No I did not and that's the issue. I didn't see them do much interacting with her apart from catching and leading her to pen to see her loose school.
that was the question I was going to ask. I took on a 4yo gelding who hated his old owner. I watched them interact at his old home. All the time it was ears back and keep away. The owner was nice no reason to suspect any abuse but his reaction was don't dare touch me. I knew he had had an accident and intensive body work afterwards.
When he arrived I hadn't expected that to carry on with me, I had stroked him on his face at his old home and he seemed pleasant but no way could I run my hands down his sides behind the shoulder.
The minute I even walked behind his shoulder his teeth shot out and he would have savaged me, not bit but seriously savage me and he meant it.
I suspect his physio experiences may have been problematical and he brought that history with him. The problem is you simply don't know what happened to your horse in the past. May just have been poorly handled or maybe something happened.

if she was lunging in side reins, roller and bridle they had obviously handled her a reasonable amount. How good or kind was that handling? who knows.


mine was an arab, very highly strung and if you upset them they take a long time to trust again. He came right and in fact became adorable but it took him months to realise things had changed for him.
All you can do is start at the very beginning, do nothing to worry her and leave her body alone until she starts to seek you out. A brush on a stick would be the last thing I would do. You have no idea what happened to her. Advancing with a brush on a stick could put her back months if she has been hit.

If she is unhappy being petted around the head then lots could have happened. Tied up, pulled back and hurt herself. Been hit around the head. I suspect she has come with a history, the previous owners certainly won't tell you they never do.

I find using the Tellington Jones Ttouch method works best on these sorts. Good luck, she sounds very interesting.
 
I had a mare who was perfectly civil and co operative in any sort of 'work' situation ie good to groom, ride, shoe, clip and so on
But she absolutely would not tolerate being fussed over - I like to cuddle my horses and she had to bite me before I got the message!
Once I understood where she was coming from things went back to being easy
I had a trotter mare like this too, she was a wonderful horse. Didn’t appreciate affection too much though! My daughter worked with a TB once that was furious if you even spoke kindly to her. She would charge the stable door. But if you were completely workmanlike, it was ok and she was a lovely ride.
 
I can understand why this is worrying you, I always spend the first few week of a new horse wondering what the heck I’ve done!
However, I think this is normal with the very young ones. In the past I’ve been too keen to give them a cuddle and have told to eff off a few times by 3 yr olds when they first arrive, so now I don’t pet them at all. I don’t want to put them in a situation where I have to tell them off. If they strike out at me, I would have to, which is a shame.

I just leave them well alone, basic handling like catching, leading etc, but no petting. I feed them so they like me, but no hand treats. I don’t groom them either at first, or do any patting or stroking. I might pick out their front feet in a workmanlike manner after a couple of days, but I leave the hind ones for a later date!
 
I think this is an interesting read

For the moment keep your interactions functional only. Do what you need to do, no fussing, read the horse.
Hopefully in time she will accept and trust you and allow more friendly interactions.
 
If you walked up to every person you met and hugged them, some would hug you back and others would punch you in the face. Horses are no different. This is a three year old, not an older horse that you would expect to be used to be touched all over (though some would still react negatively with a new owner in a new home). Her whole world has changed and you are trying to do too much too soon and continuing to press for more when the horse is clearly communicating that she is uncomfortable. Dial it back for now and give her time to settle and get to know you.
 
Did you buy her from a professional background, i.e stud farm, racing yard or? I am just thinking that from that sort of background she has very probably been handled and trained in a very workman like way. By that I mean handled efficiently and no nonsense approach all done correctly but without much personal one to one fussing and faffing around? Just got on with the job and pretty much ignored in between brief handling and lunging sessions. I have seen it before, in fact I had one some years back. It took her a good year or more to truly relax and start to enjoy anything more than minimal interaction around required handling and training. Just a thought. :)
 
If she has been out with an amorous gelding or colt really touching the neck is a mating signal, my friends mare when she bought was covered in old bite marks all along her neck. I had an brood mare that if anything came up behind her could reverse faster than some can go forward with huge kick backs.
I would restrict contact to short, sweet and to the point. Our best PC pony hated being messed with, and could bite hard enough to draw blood, if he missed you could hear his teeth snap.
 
I have had the new one almost a year - he is just letting me touch him in most places, but not his ears yet.

It takes time - he now asks for neck, shoulder and back scratches- still holds his breath on tummy or near to his sheaf touches - but I have all the Time in the world.

First few weeks he had to be cross tied- he is now loose when grooming and tacking him up - and usually falls asleep when having his face rubbed now.
 
So as you all know I bought myself a new 3 yr old last week.
When I went to view she seemed very sweet and pleasant.
Owner had her lunging in roller/side reins/bridle etc.

The day I viewed her I did find that when i went to give her muzzle a scratch she squealed and reacted to it, I thought nothing of it.
Maybe my own girls are just so used to being touched all over some horses aren't.

Anyway a week on(and I know its very early days and she is probably still processing being in a new home for the first time and trying to understand me) she is borderline dangerous.
I noticed on day one that you can only touch her for a set amount of time, and set places. If you go above or beyond that she will squeal and strike in front.
I thought I was getting somewhere 2 days ago and managed to pet all over her face/ears without a reaction.
Yesterday I went to pet her around the head and she struck out and caught me.

I have never had a horse like this, the more you press to touch the more aggressive she will get.

I don't know whether to just leave her alone for a few weeks to settle, or to preserve and maybe bring a brush on a stick to get her used to the idea of being touched(from a safe distance.)

Any ideas?
I remember feeling very similar when I bought my current horse. A 5 year old unbroken mare who had never left home. She was perfectly sweet with her breeder although a bit sharp when doing her feet. When she arrived at mine I turned her out and left her until the next day where I suddenly realised that this was not the ideal purchase for my daughter's next ride! She wouldn't let me catch her, when I did she shot backwards in alarm away from me. She struck out and kicked with all 4 feet if I tried to pick her feet. She would bite if I insisted on things and she would shoot forward (over the top of me if I was in the way) if she didn't understand or didn't want to comply. She was in a new place with new people for the first time in her life and, especially being a mare, I had to earn her trust and respect. She took some time but she is now the sweetest, cuddliest labrador horse who runs to my daughter in the field and hangs around to be tacked up when we are there. She just didn't know me! (Ps a grooming glove on a bamboo cane is a great thing!)
 
I have a mare who sounds quite similar. She will tolerate a quick scratch but when she wants it. Try and do it on your terms instead of hers and she'll pick her ears back and squeal. She's not a pet her all over kind of mare either. Neck scratches fine, shoulder maybe, but don't bother going any further back or she'll tell you to do one 🙈 . She's cuddly for maybe 2weeks a year but the rest of the time, unless you've got a bucket or she's in a very good mood she would rather be left alone
 
Thanks for alll the input!
So we are getting somewhere with my little girl.
I used a grooming glove on a pole for a few days and have now managed to be able to rub head to shoulder/wither and pat!
She loves being patted more than rubbed 🤣
Yesterday was her first time coming into the barn with her friends and she was totally overwhelmed, eyes out on stalks, but she settled after a while and allowed me to groom her and brush out her mane!

I do notice that while I am touching her, the tail is CONSTANTLY swishing and the minute I stop touching, the tail goes quiet🤣

Backing maybe interesting :rolleyes:
 
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