What helps you at wobbly moments?

[Emilieu]

I’m hopeless at singing - it makes me gasp and defeats the purpose - so I do box breathing. It slows my breath and my pulse and that automatically reduces the adrenaline in your body. I also focus on the areas I hold tension (hips, jaw, hands) and force myself to relax them. I used to get on my gelding and do eight box breaths before asking him to start. Some days I did it the whole hack.

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

I just think that I can't expect my horse not to be scared, if I'm scared. It's not fair.

This is a really good point, I think part of why I'm putting pressure on myself to 'get it right' for him otherwise it's like I'm setting us both up to fail - possibly backfiring on me in that it makes me feel less confident from putting pressure on. You are right though, in his less brave moments it's me who needs to pull up my 'brave pants'!

 

[TheHairyOne]

I just fake it as best I can and push boundaries slowly.

However, I also have a very stubborn streak and just ocasionally get so annoyed with myself it overcomes the slight to large panic (depending on the activity).

Story time and I dont recommend this exactly, but I went XC schooling, was only going to consider jumping little logs. It was a pay a bloke on arrival, they then leave you to it. So I hand over my money, get horse out, get tack out...no GIRTH!!!

I am now so annoyed with myself at a venue about 50 mins from home with 2 friends that I was like 'bugger this, i am riding anyway' and got on bareback. Luckily he is comfy! And I was so annoyed that I had travelled, paid and then fogotten a rather important bit of kit that I jumped the logs anyway! Then I did some steps, then I jumped into and out of the water and had a canter around with my friends. Tried some bigger steps, fell off down them. It wasnt scary afterall everyone laughed themselves silly when I slid down his neck to land on my feet. And it was funny. And so I laughed too. Please feel free to laugh as well!!!



I still get nervous XC, but that day was the making of me riding solid fences. Any wobble and I just remind myself of the day I did it without a saddle, so this cant be that bad!

Take the small wins, all of them. Learn something from them, all of them. Go out thinking 'we will do this', and come back going 'we have done this'.

It may take time, but you never stop learning with horses and you learn from them as much as they learn from you.

Sounds like you have found a lovely and supportive owner so onwards and upwards.

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

Take the small wins, all of them. Learn something from them, all of them. Go out thinking 'we will do this', and come back going 'we have done this'.

It may take time, but you never stop learning with horses and you learn from them as much as they learn from you.

Sounds like you have found a lovely and supportive owner so onwards and upwards.

Thank you, those are some really good tips I think will help me get the right mindset.

Excellent story and great pic!

Definitely a supportive owner as well as others on the yard, it is certainly helping and keeping me motivated to work more positively on my confidence.

 

[tristar]

i do scary things every day, well one a day if poss, like venturing on horse and hound forum, ha ha, no not really only only joking,


i just ask myself what is the worst thing that can happen, but with riding its what did i do i could do better, and never say die

 

[TotalMadgeness]

I get wobbles all the time. If I wobble when I'm out hacking I dismount and walk with my horse having a nice chat to him until I feel better then I get back on. If I wobble in the arena I stop then do something different, like leg yield/shoulder in (in walk) or ground work / in hand trec obstacles. If I get a really bad wobble I just stop & say to myself I'll have another go tomorrow.

 

[Errin Paddywack]

The HairyOne, your pony looks just like my old boy

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

I've been thinking about the 'fake it until you make it' and pretending to be someone else tips. Initially thought of Merida from Brave as I have very Merida-esque hair and when the film first came out my mum got very excited and said 'it's you!'

I also saw this on Facebook and while maybe not quite the approach for me to take, it did make me chuckle!

 

[Trouper]

Says it all really!!!

 

[ycbm]

? and what was the tune of choice? ???

I'm a pink toothbrush. ?

 

[1523679]

I use breathing and visualisation techniques. Focusing on breath for a few minutes until it’s smooth and even; then visualising the fear/stress being gathered and controlled into a focused strength I can use as the basis for performance.

Sorry, that sounds like absolute codswallop when I write it out. And it takes a lot of practice to get it right.

 

[Bernster]

I use breathing and visualisation techniques. Focusing on breath for a few minutes until it’s smooth and even; then visualising the fear/stress being gathered and controlled into a focused strength I can use as the basis for performance.

Sorry, that sounds like absolute codswallop when I write it out. And it takes a lot of practice to get it right.

ooh another example of codswallop but not one I use for horses but when I’m stressed or have a busy brain - I imagine screwing up my thoughts into a ball, gathering it up in my hands and throwing it out the window !

 

[HazuraJane]

There is a musician named Jason Isbell whose latest song in the US is "Be Afraid" - chorus is "Be afraid/Be very afraid/And do it anyway." Quite a good thing to keep in mind.

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

Just wanted to pop back to this thread to update and say thanks again for all the replies, as it really helped me stay positive and keep thinking constructively. I posted in the 'weekend plans' thread (in C&T board) with this little update, complete with smiley pic!

What was great I think was that, rather than going completely perfectly, we had a couple of 'incidents' where I had to put my nerves really to the test - which in some ways was better for my confidence, as I got a chance to show myself I (and share horse, but mostly me lets be honest!) can deal with things rather than needing it all to go a certain way

No competition based prowess for me but I had a great lesson on Friday at the RS - working on flexing and transitions within trot (vids to follow when I can work out how to edit them). And to a fabulous hack out with share horse. I took on board the tips from the 'wobbly moments' thread and headed out with the mindset of 'I'm leaving my nerves behind me today' and channelling 'can do' vibes! We had some horsey company as well which was great. Beautiful riding through the woods, having a lovely chat together with his owner.

We faced a couple of challenges (prime potential wobbly moments!) - first a Harley Davidson behind us, then later a group of off road bikes. It was like I just clicked into the right gear of 'walk on, we're okay' and being able to be the brave one share horse (and to be fair most horses in that situation I think) needed me to be! Having his owner there with us on foot to direct the bikes to hold back was a huge help and we got through just fine.