What if...

[Four Seasons]

...Your horse could put stuff on Horse and Hound? What would it be about?

My stallion would put adverts up like: "Handsome stallion looking for very fit and fertile mares. Open relationship, as I like to choose who I sleep with everyday. My stable is big and my field is huge, so we can have lots of fun."

What would your horse put on? Would it wine away about stiff riders? Or about the amount of food it gets?

Just came up with this crazy idea.

 

[Littlelegs]

Mine would start threads about 'how to tell my owner I should get 6 feeds a day' & 'stallion wanted for tarty mare'
Daughters pony would be asking 'how to get my owner to canter everywhere' & 'check out my owner, I've got her in matchy matchy pink, I even have my stuff to go with it'

 

[nosenseofdirection]

Mine would be asking for advice on how to get weight off her owner, who is too much of a good-doer!

 

[DressageCob]

My horse's post would go like this:

"So, today it was hot and sunny I HEARD FEED! and food dispenser and I went for a hack OOOOH LOOK AT THAT PRETTY MARE. Had a bit of a trot DID SOMEONE SAY TROT?! I like trotting. Trot trot trot trot trot. Where was I? Oh yes trotting DID SOMEONE SAY TROT?! And a little canter BUUUUUUUCK. We went home had FOOOOOOD. Not enough food. NEED MORE FOOD. I like food. ARGHHHHHH A BUTTERFLY. WHO ORDERED A BUTTERFLY?! Food, yes. Food is good. Yummy yummy in my tummy. Where was I? Oh yes, I then had a na-WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT NOISE? Yes, a nap.

Sooo, ladies.You like what you see?"

 

[Piglet]

Mine would say "why did you take my manhood away after I have only had my wicked way with a couple of ladies"!!! Why are you sooooo mean and cruel depriving me of yummy, green spring grass!!"

 

[Goldenstar]

Lots of posts on the lines of Schooling why are they never satisfied ?
Whats this obsession with poles on the ground ?
Grass why do they restrict it ?
Trailer or lorry discuss ?
Hunting do you enjoy it ?
Farrier, how heavily dare you lean ?
And then there would be
TB' s why are they so up themselves ?
warmbloods is immigration out of control ?
Etc etc

 

[FionaM12]

warmbloods is immigration out of control ?

I think your horses have been reading the Daily Mail too much.

 

[rascal]

Ours would tell you (at the moment anyway) that we are cruel owners who have cut the food so they are not too fat going into spring!

 

[Arizahn]

Hippo would probably write:

Why do I not get enough carrots?
How do I find a hosepipe exterminator in my area?
Why does my female slave expect me to go slowly when she provided me with a saddle cloth that os embroidered with the words "Go Faster" ?
Which gelding should I choose - dashing young trotter, or kindly older pony?
Mud baths - why do our slaves disapprove?

 

[spottybotty]

I am not sure what the big grey would say but it would be in Dutch lol Actually I think he would be posting about not having enough matchy matchy and bling and he would be defending his right to be in the UK lol