What is wrong with my advert...?

BroadfordQueen

BroadfordQueen

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No phone calls, don't know why as she is really cheap because I need to sell her. I want her to go to a RC/PC/Happy hacking home, not a BSJA/BE home as I don't think she is up to that (yet!)- I don't want people buying her and expecting her to go off and do BSJA next week if you know what I mean? So I have sort of played her down a bit to attract the right market.

http://www.horsemart.co.uk/advert/4_yrs_7_mths_16_1_hh_bay_worcestershire/74112

Thanks.
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split the text into paragraphs to make it easier to read.

you don't say what she would be good at... maybe add a line like will be ready to BE/BSJA next season.

also i would get another sj pic as her front legs don't look good and also another flatwork pic as she looks v. on the forehand on that one.

why is she for sale?

how long has the advert been live?
 
Nothing that I can see, if I was looking for a new one I would give you a call. You could put a photo of her stood up, un-tacked, to show her conformation. Maybe you could also add a line or two to say she would be suitable for RC, hunting or PC and would go on to BSJA or BE or something. And you don't mention her breeding, but there is nothing not to like.... maybe just that people are not buying this side of christmas
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Ok so new photos, it is hard to get pics now as we don't have a menage so am only really hacking her out atm as our fields are very wet.
She is for sale because I don't have time for her now I have a new PT job, plus my event horse needs bringing back into work so obviously with a job, college and 2 horses I have no time at all for anything else such as my A level revision and exams in Jan, and a social life needs fitting in somewhere too...!
 
What is her breeding? Will she be up to BSJA/BE next year? Maybe a bit more detail about the level of her flat schooling, has she done any dressage? A bit more about what she is like to do and how she is to hack. Has she done any hunting since opening meet, how was she?

She is a good price, and actually the sort of thing I would consider, if she was up to carrying my husband's weight. I'd ultimitely want to compete but have no transport at the moment so it would be a couple of years of mainly little local competitions, hunting and so on.
 
She has no "special" breeding, she is TB x with something- both her parents are in her passport but researched their names and they are nothing special so thought I should leave it out.
She hasn't done much competing at all, she would do a good dressage test although her canter needs work still. She has been out to unaff shows and done the clear round sj at up to 2"6ft and gone clear and doesn't spook at fillers etc. She hasn't hunted since opening meet but may take her on Saturday if noone comes to see her. Very good to hack, better than my 12year old!!! I really enjoy hacking her out, you can go into a big open field and she wont hot up at all, can canter her and then drop your reins and she will walk back without getting silly.
I will add more to her advert later then to expand on her strengths.
Thanks
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What about this as a template?

16.1hh, 4 year old, bay mare. PUT HER BREEDING HERE – TB X ?!!! MENTION IF SHE IS MICROCHIPPED, ETC.

This attractive mare has good confirmation and clean limbs (I ASSUME SHE DOES, IF NOT TAKE THIS OUT!!)

She has been bought on slowly and properly. She is working well on the flat and demonstrating a big scopey jump, both over XC fences and round a SJ courses. She recently jumped a 2’6 course at a local show comfortably and was unfazed by fillers, crowds, etc.

In addition to this, she has done some pleasure rides and more recently 4 days autumn hunting.

She hacks out alone and in company, proving to be relaxed and unspooky. Good to box, shoe, clip, catch, traffic etc.

She is now ready to move forward in her career. She would make a top class RC/Allrounder but does has potential to affiliate in both BE and BSJA in the long term.

Open to 5* Vetting (AGAIN, I ASSUME THIS IS TRUE!)

Lots more pics available via email. Genuine reason for this sad sale but must sell hence £2750 ONO.
 
thanks- very useful! Yes she is microchipped, vaccs up to date and had teeth/back done. She has very clean limbs, and yes she is open to a 5* vetting- that sounds pretty good thank you, will edit her advert when I get home
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It may be the price... too cheap! I have heard of a couple of instances recently where I horse was advertised cheap (about the price you have yours on for). No interest, no calls. They put the price up, had loads of calls and sold...

Doesn't make sense but maybe worth a thought. I guess most of us are convinced there is no such thing as a bargain so it must have something wrong with it if its cheap!
 
I agree with Vrin - she's too cheap. I know we are based in an expensive corner of the UK but I've recently been horse shopping with a friend and she has had to pay double this for something greener. First thing I woud have thought when looking at her ad is that she has something wrong with her, as all the ones in that price range down here are poor quality.

She's a cracker - shame she was advertised about 4 weeks too late for us!
 
Hmm, how much would you advise I advertise her for then? As when I asked people on here a few weeks ago most people said around £2800. I hate selling horses, it is so tricky!!
 
We were looking for something very similar in Sussex and prices really do vary. The ones we saw that were in the £2000 to £4500 range were either lame, had 'issues', were certainly not much more than 15.2, were far more than 16.3, had been turned away and were being sold from the field, or worse.....

We actually really liked one within that range but didn't go to look at him as we were concerned he was 'broken', they must have had the same feedback because the price was changed (think increased by 2k) and I understand the horse sold. Try £4750 or in that region. I know her age may put off some RC homes but the photos should tempt a good PC type home.

This forum is great for giving low prices when people ask for selling and then querying ads when they think the price is too low
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I think she looks great but I can't have 4!
 
Is she very TBish? We've been looking at ISHs as hubby is 6'2" he'd be too big on a proper TB type, but I wonder whether she might be suitable for us. I'd love a mare but haven't seen any yet. We were ideally looking for a 5 year old but she sounds lovely.
 
I would say she is fairly TB-ish, There are more photos of her if you look at the link in my signature. I think she is crossed with something irish. I am 5"5ft and only 8 stone but my mum rides her who is a couple of stone heavier than me and I am sure she would carry more.
 
I'd say that the main reason for her not selling is winter.

Hang on til after Christmas if you can and you'll get more interest.

I think the price is about right and if I were looking, she would be just the sort I'd come and have a look at
 
I've just upped the price of the one I have for sale for the same reason - low price often means little interest. Then ended with open to offers!

I agree that winter is the problem, I'm had very little interest but when I've advertised anything before I've been bombarded.

Good luck, hope you find a great home!
 
I'd up the price, she looks and sounds lovely...then you get to the price and think 'oh well she can't be that great if they only want £?? for her...' Best to start with a higher price and put 'willing to negociate price to the right home' or something similar! then if she still doesn't sell drop the price again.

I don't know whether anyone else finds the same but i've always had better results with horsequest rather than horsemart. The last two ponies i sold on horse quest the first i had over 40 calls for and sold within 48 hours, the second i sold to the first caller the day the ad went up.
 
I would up the price slightly because the low price might lead to people thinking there is something wrong.. if only I had the time/money for another horse *damnit*
 
I would be interested if I were looking, and think she seems priced realistically for a quick sale.
I would definitely take out the flatwork pic, as she looks overbent, and I would rather see no pic at all than that. Ideally replace it with a nice flatwork pic of her working from behind and not overbent if you can get one. As a young horse I wouldnt mind if she isnt working into a contact yet.

I also can't tell from the pics if she would be a good build for me or a bit lighter than I would like. If she is a heavier built TB type (that could carry 13/14 stone comfortably) they I would mention that as I think there is a big divide in the market along that line, where a lot of horses seem to have a 12 stone max (particularly for potential BSJA types rather than heavyweights etc.) so having that clear in the ad could open you up to a section of the market which have far fewer options available to them.
 
I thought you said at one point she was TB X Connemara? People would be very keen on her if she really is a Connie cross.
What are the names of her sire and dam sire? Someone may know of them, they may be something good.

I think that the advert is otherwise well worded, but you do need to look into the breeding more...

I also think that the jumping and flatwork pictures could be improved .

Everyone else has a good point about the price. Its bizarre but do know of a few people that couldnt sell their horses at lower prices- they put the price up by at least £3k and they had loads of interest and sold the horses, even tho the horse wasnt really worth it!
 
I agree I would up her price a bit - not by masses say to £3500. At the moment she almost looks too good to be true... Not that that alone would ever have stopped me going to see a horse or enquiring further. Why do you think she would not be ready for a BE home seeing she will be 5 next year and looks to have taken to xc really well?
I would mention your A Level studies as the reason for sale too.
 
I have made some alterations to the ad. Haven't changed her price, don't know what to do about that really, might put the price up to £3500 and advertise her somewhere else too- either horsequest or h&h.

Still haven't had any phone calls
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Hang in there - it's a difficult time. I think you should definitely spell out what your genuine reasons for sale are. As a potential buyer I think it makes a real difference to adverts when people spell out why they've got to sell. Plus it's only about needing that one ideal person seeing the ad, so put it in as many places / sites / mags as you can. It may seem expensive in the short term, but if it means you sell quicker you'll definitely save money. Good luck!
 
Didn't you only advertise her yesterday? If so that is really soon, I do think the price is right as she is so young and not had any experience.
 
Have also noticed that she is tagged as "lead rein/first ridden". I think perhaps there is a better category for her than that one... Maybe riding club horses or hunters or showjumpers.
 
Hi I just looked at the extra photos, and while she looks lovely, if you are 5'5" I think she would be too small for us. I'm 5'8" and would be ok but hubby is 6'2" and quite leggy, I think he'd dwarf her.

She does look lovely though.

For selling her I think you need a good conformation shot, and a couple of flat work ones too.
 
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