What keeps you going?

[Grumpy Jewel]

My world is inches from going belly up. Life has been difficult for the last couple of years, but it's nearly about to come crashing down. We have debt, more out goings than I'n comings and my husband is now ill.

I have always been a positive person and have the mind set that things will get better, but I'm struggling to stay positive now and I need some motivation, so what keeps you
going when things get tough?

 

[smokey]

I'm sorry things are so difficult for you at the moment, and that your husband is ill. Can you take each thing individually, decide what your priorities are, and then deal with one thing at a time? Your debt has to be dealt with, if you really can't afford all your bills, you have to make sure that the main ones are covered (mortgage, utilities council tax) the rest you can negotiate with companies to reduce your payments in the short term. Hopefully this will give you some breathing space. If you can take a little step at a time, and deal with the things that you can, it will give you a bit of control back. I do hope that things look up for you soon, and that your husband recovers. Until then, baby steps, dig in and things will get better xx

 

[ForeverBroke_]

No real advice - but when things are rock bottom they can only go one way - up. My only experience is to keep plugging away and eventually everything works it way out and you'll look back and wonder why it seemed so bad at the time. Every day that passes is hopefully another day closer to when the worst has been and gone!

Hope it sorts itself all out for you very very soon.

 

[Grumpy Jewel]

Thank you for your replies. We have reduced as many out goings as possible but since loosing my full time job I'm only working part time so when I pick up extra work I grab it with both hands and we have family helping which is great. I'm pretty confident we can get through this, but there's no breathing space for problems. Being around my horse was my therapy and made me calm down and get happy, but she's on loan now so I can't even do that any more (I really miss that smell of horse, and oddly remembering the smell is the drive that keeps me determined)

 

[debsg]

Do you have any friends locally with horses? Maybe you could visit for a bit of horsey therapy.
Hope things improve for you soon xx

 

[Littlelegs]

Just staying positive & being very independent. Focusing on what I can do to improve the situation & not worrying about the things I can't change or improve upon. Just counting blessings & realising there's always someone worse off who would envy my situation however bad I might think it is.

 

[missmatch]

Do you have any friends locally with horses? Maybe you could visit for a bit of horsey therapy.
Hope things improve for you soon xx

Definitely this ^^^ If you could spend some time every weeks with horses it would give you some time to forget everything else which you need to be honest. Hope something wonderful happens for you soon x

 

[Montyforever]

You just have to keep going, it might be hard but it's hundred times harder to put yourself back together if you crack! Try and find some horses to spend time around even if it's just grooming it will help

 

[Penny Less]

My husband is terminally ill, and there is no other family. Spending time with the horse is what is keeping me sane at the moment and I hope will keep me going in the months ahead.
Try and spend time doing whatever makes you the happiest, as another poster says if that is horses but you dont have your own go and get your hands on someone elses ! Any time away from thinking about your problems is therapy. Hope you manage to get things sorted.

 

[Grumpy Jewel]

Thankyou everyone. I am aware my situation Is in no way unique and my situation is not as dire as others. I was I'n contact with lots of my horsey friends initially but It really upset me that I'd failed her and the only way to keep her was loan her out, so I gradually stopped, but i should go back to it (I hadn't thought about doing it recently).

 

[Sugar_and_Spice]

Taking action about problems is what keeps me going. I need to feel that I'm doing something about it, that gives me the hope of fixing it.

 

[Ibblebibble]

what kept me going was realising that my family were the most important thing and as long as i had them everything else could be fixed somehow. regarding the debts have you contacted the CCCS? They are so helpful and can advise you on how to deal with creditors and how to go about setting up payment plans to reduce your outgoings so that things become manageable. talking to them when we had debt problems was one of the best things we ever did, felt like a huge weight had been taken off which made coping with everything else so much easier.

 

[mytwofriends]

For me, personally, my immediate family and horses (and other animals) kept my life intact when it was trying its very hardest to throw consecutive curveballs at me. They all needed me as I much as needed them, so it was paramount that I kept that in sharp focus. It worked.

As another poster has already mentioned, take baby steps, try to prioritise what's really important and deal with that first, and take time for care for yourself properly. Hopefully once you see the first positive on the horizon it'll spur you on and life won't seem so bleak.

Take care.

 

[smokey]

If you think a "horsey fix" would help, and I'm sure it would, why don't you look into volunteering for your local RDA? Once a week for a couple of hours, and you would not only be spending time with horses, but also helping someone else to enjoy life.
also agree with the poster who suggested cccs, they are really good at helping to straighten out finances.

 

[Grumpy Jewel]

We are not I'n major debt, it's 2 credit cards and my overdraft, so about £6000 all together. Who are the cccs? I don't recognise the initials. I'm doing my all to grab overtime shifts and any temp work and anything else I hear of, but could really do with a full time job again. Until then iv just got to keep thinking happy thoughts.

 

[Moggy in Manolos]

Spending time with the horse is what is keeping me sane at the moment and I hope will keep me going in the months ahead.
Try and spend time doing whatever makes you the happiest, as another poster says if that is horses but you dont have your own go and get your hands on someone elses ! Any time away from thinking about your problems is therapy. Hope you manage to get things sorted.

This /\

Sorry to hear of your rubbish times, and I do hope things turn a corner for you. All I can say is try keep busy and try to find time for things you enjoy, things that are therapeutic as you need that, life can really get you down, and getting up from those downs is very hard. Good luck

 

[Dogstar]

My horses kept me going through multiple illness/bereavements and relationship breakdown. They were my only reason to get up in the morning.

 

[Tanner-Ashby]

I'm sorry to hear of your situation however things hoperfully will get better. It's always difficult to offer advice however nobody knows what is around the corner and whatever is thrown at you you know thay they'll be a stronger person on the other side. Good luck.

 

[LMJ]

Sending hugs. Whereabouts are you in the county?. We are Worthing way. CCCS is the Consumer Credit Counselling Service is a free debt advisory service. x

 

[crabbymare]

I spent yesterday evening sitting with a friend who has very big debt problems and is about to be made redundant. I have suggested she contacts cccs as they are are a charity who help people who are in debt, (as far as I know they are funded by banks and credit card companies) they go through your income and expenditure and will work out what you need to live on and the rest you pay them and they pass it on pro rata to your creditors.

CCCS site is cccs link

If you had any PPI on old loans there is another site thats good for reclaiming help, (personally i don't agree with their stance on debt but thats another discussion) and its all about debt if you did have PPI and it was mis sold then its worth reclaiming as it will help reduce what you owe which is always a big help and could give a boost to your morale.

I would try and get back in touch with your old horsey friends and see if you can visit them and perhaps help out just to get back around horses and to give yourself a break.