What makes owners "give up"

[jrp204]

We have just packed up horses. Daughters new horse injured herself, after long term box rest she was retired. We have always rolled over the money from the sale of a horse to pay for the next so we basically had nothing to roll over. Daughter is at college, just started working part time and is off to uni next year. So we decided it was time to have a break. Horses have dominated everything for years it was odd at first but now we actually have a bit of spare money and time at the weekends.

 

[Cobadoodledoo]

Accident :frown3: major lack of confidence :frown3: weight gain due to being immobile for ages :frown3: lots of reasons. Trouble is, I can't bear to part with mine nor can I do a lot with him. Had a bad fall last week on my injured leg and really hurt myself. I can't see myself on board again.

Really sorry to hear that CT, hopefully it will just be a long road ahead rather than a 'never again'. I can't bear to sell mine either. I'm thinking I might take up driving if I can get the money together for some gear. Surely I can't be rubbish at that too?

Wishing you some healing vibes!

 

[texas]

Health, money, life circumstances.

 

[Gingerwitch]

Health, money, life circumstances.

See I was wondering if it was things like a really bad livery yard and no where else to go... money was my 2nd guess but then i would have thought you would downsize and go from 4 to 3 or 3 to 2 etc.... then i thought abut health, which would link possibly to reason no. 1 - bad livery yard... where you do not trust what happens with yours, or there are no services, or the servces are poor (by services I mean turn out, catch in, muck out etc) then I would have thought a change in circumstances i.e. getting married, having a family, work commitments and finally a broken heart - loosing the horse of a life time etc

 

[Riz]

I had my heart broken when I lost my boy-he'd been my best friend for 23 years & we grew up together. It was pointless getting another-i'm sure one day there will be another one, but not for a very very long time.

 

[loopinlou]

Slightly different as I had individual horses but I sold my welsh as although I loved him and didn't want to part with him he was ruining my confidence, we had been working so hard on our jumping in the previous 3 years but he was always one that would be fine one jump then stop and spin the next cue lots of falls which spiralled following an xc fall, scared owner = scared horse!! And he worked better with teenagers who didn't care what happened!

I purchased a lovely cob who although only 6 was sold to me as suitable for a novice (which i class myself as due to my loss of confidence) who had been out hunting, jumping, had lovely paces from someone I thought to be reputable (RC instructor I'd known for years) and although with me the horse had been fine I found out that he had been involved in a hacking incident where the rider died however the RI had outright lied when asked how long he had had the horse which he claimed to be 6months when in fact the accident happened only a month before I got him and other bits of his background and sadly he was returned because I paid top price for what I was led to believe was a novice ride which wasn't quite accurate - don't get me wrong i know these things happen but unfortunately I couldn't let him get away with these inaccuracies.

Several months later I purchased another horse who was perfect when I tried her on 3 occasions once in school on my own, second in a SJ lesson and 3rd in the fields however when she got home she started rearing and I mean full up rearing not something she picked up overnight!! So she was sold on and I then gave myself one last chance following several bad viewings as I feared the horse would start rearing when they took a step back - note even less confidence than I had before !!! I found a native that although didn't jump was nice on the flat I had a full on anxiety attack on the day we went to collect her and I couldn't go through with it and I gave up my search for a horse. Don't get me wrong I would get one tomorrow if I knew I could have a bit of faith in the seller but even when riding a friends horse terrifies me tells me it's time to walk away ;-(

I have had the opportunity to visit my old boy and I know the family are happy and so is he which tells me it was the right decision to sell although I do look back and think what would it be like if I hadn't

 

[Cinnamontoast]

Really sorry to hear that CT, hopefully it will just be a long road ahead rather than a 'never again'. I can't bear to sell mine either. I'm thinking I might take up driving if I can get the money together for some gear. Surely I can't be rubbish at that too?

Wishing you some healing vibes!

I'm ok, mobile and walking alright, just bloody hurt myself last week.

My YO said last week that I should back him to drive: trouble is, he's a traddy piebald, can you imagine the comments when there are tons of travellers round here?! I'd wet myself that someone might try to nick him too! Stupid, I know, but I'm a bit paranoid! I don't even like to have people say where he is.

 

[risky business]

Career choice for me, just not practical having a horse when I could be posted at sea for 8 months at a time.. Also just loss of interest over the 6 years I had her she deserved better.

 

[OrangePepper]

So many very sad posts and to those that are suffering from ill health or the effects of the loss of your horse I hope that you recover.

 

[Tiffany]

Accident :frown3: major lack of confidence :frown3: weight gain due to being immobile for ages :frown3: lots of reasons. Trouble is, I can't bear to part with mine nor can I do a lot with him. Had a bad fall last week on my injured leg and really hurt myself. I can't see myself on board again.

Sorry you are feeling like this but totally understandable. However, you might get back on board one day. For now you should just concentrate on getting yourself 100% again. I lost my confidence big time after an accident and yes, it's taken ages but
it's back!

 

[Tiffany]

I know people who have given up for all sorts of different reasons including, change of job, lack of time, money needed for other things such as wedding, house, having a family, divorce. Other reasons, hitting the deck once too often, losing horse of a lifetime or simply losing interest.

 

[Caol Ila]

I sometimes think about giving up -- usually when I receive the latest job rejection letter and think doing a PhD was the most pointless thing I have ever done, and I should just sell the horse and, I don't know. But the horse is also the only thing that gets me out of bed or the house, I have had her for nearly 15 years, and who would buy a 20 year old horse anyway? I think I would miss her too much.

 

[Spring Feather]

I don't know why people give up never to return to horses. I've known lots of people who have given them up for periods in their life and then they start back up again a few years later. As much as horses are not my favourite animal, I don't remember life without them and I honestly can't imagine life without them. I've had horses all of my life and they are just part of me.

 

[jeeve]

not having fun

 

[Enfys]

....

 

[glamourpuss]

I don't know why people give up never to return to horses. I've known lots of people who have given them up for periods in their life and then they start back up again a few years later. As much as horses are not my favourite animal, I don't remember life without them and I honestly can't imagine life without them. I've had horses all of my life and they are just part of me.

WTS. Even when things are totally dire it never crosses my mind to give up with horses.
I had a short period in my life, when doing my 1st degree, that I didn't have horses. I nearly ended up in rehab...& I wish I was joking.
Horses are so ingrained in my life that without I kind of go into free fall.

Occasionally people ask me what I'd do without horses & I laugh & give the stock answer of having more time/more money but in reality it isn't something I can truly consider.

 

[Cortez]

I have "given up" horses 3 times in my life (I'm 54), and I mean proper sell everything, buckets, headcollars, brushes, hoofpicks, everything. The reasons range from severe back injury, bankruptcy and divorce, but it's never lasted long and I have come to accept that there will always be a couple of horses around the place. They are the framework of my life and who I am.

 

[Gingerwitch]

I am on the verge of making some life changing decisions - as many of you will remember I had a pretty bad accident this time last year and my ankle is not recovering - ok the bones have mended but the ligament and tendon damage is pretty awful - driving and walking are a challenge - let alone riding, mucking out and carrying waters. This combined with a mega busy life at work has found me move all mine to a full livery yard - the last one was moved last Sunday - the cost is HUGE but the care is fantastic - its only a small yard with 8 horses and they have built a couple of stables for my last 2 to go over. I just feel lost though now.... apart from being ill, or working abroad - i have seen my horses 2 or 3 times a day every day.... and whilst the stress has lifted not having to "work" everyday with them - i am feeling at a complete and utter loss - i actually have no reason to get out of bed in a morning now - apart from go to work to pay for them..... Hubby is delighed that i may finally get a chance to recover, without major surgery and I have been doing housework for the past 5 hours - he was hoping for a Sunday lie in.... but I actually feel more depressed that I am not "needed" if you know what I mean. I know its only short term till my leg recovers -or i end up having surgery which will knock me out the game for a year - but at least i know the bulb is in the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[lme]

I think it is often life changes that make having horses too difficult / not worthwhile. In my case it was a damaged hip which meant I couldn't ride correctly combined with a move back to London for work. I put my mare on long term loan, sold my youngster to my trainer and fully intended never to have another horse. 20 odd years (and a hip resurfacing) later, And still working in London, I now have 5 horses, including my old girl and her daughter.

 

[pippixox]

WTS. Even when things are totally dire it never crosses my mind to give up with horses.
I had a short period in my life, when doing my 1st degree, that I didn't have horses. I nearly ended up in rehab...& I wish I was joking.
Horses are so ingrained in my life that without I kind of go into free fall.

Occasionally people ask me what I'd do without horses & I laugh & give the stock answer of having more time/more money but in reality it isn't something I can truly consider.

i can completely see why some people give up horses, and they should not feel guilty if they do. i know someone with a bunch of retired horses and a baby and she rushes up to feed twice a day and never spends any time enjoying them. to be honest she didn't spend much time with the horses even before she had a baby, i think she has lost the love for it. but when i had a small break from horses, as my boy went on loan as i had A level exams and was meant to go to university, i became very ill. there were probably other stress factors involved, but i think not having him was the most major factor in becoming severely depressed and also extreme anxiety disorder. i felt like i didn't want to get near horses because I was too ill to enjoy them any more, but going back to my old yard and meeting an abandoned, traumatized mare, and gaining her trust,along with a lot of medical help, brought me back from the brink. 4 years on i sometimes still struggle, but if i didn't have to horses to get out of bed for I'm sure i would go down hill again. yes at times they increase my stress levels and mean i'm always broke and busy, but i need them for my sanity.

 

[toomanyhorses26]

I very nearly gave up this year. My pride and joy went lame and came back as having some serious front limb issues and was given a 10% chance of being a light hack - not a life he would suited too and my mare came back from loan with massive issues - kissing spines,ligament damage,front limb problems,si issues just to start - she was put down in july and my boy went off to rockley in sept - he comes back next week and I cannot wait for my second chance

 

[BlackVelvet]

Heartbreak mainly...
I lost my gelding over a year ago, and sadly part of me died also. I had him since i was 16 so pretty much all my whole adult life. He died suddenly and unexpected, and i donated all rugs and belongings to my YO and walked away. I dont miss horses as such but i miss him everyday still. I cant see me going back to horses anytime soon either due to money and time issues. It was good whilst it lasted..

 

[cbmcts]

For me it's a combination of money and not liking the facilities available in my area.

I still own two but they are both retired and liveried a few hours away from me - I would have preferred to have kept them at grass locally but good grass livery is non-existent in the built up commuter belt I live in. 99% of the yards don't even have every day turnout in the winter.

The sensible option would be to PTS my two (and is what I would advise others to do in my situation!) and use their livery to fund part livery a bit further out so I could find a half decent yard that I didn't have to get to during the working week. Problem is that I've lost so much confidence, which wasn't great anyway that I really can't see myself enjoying riding again.

What I lost when I moved my horses away was the day to day contact - I'd always looked after mine myself, particularly as one wasn't the easiest to handle and a large part of my social life as I spent so much time on the yard.

 

[bexj]

I've just sold my horse and rugs left with a few odds and sods, grooming kit etc but I'll get rid of these too. It was mainly financial reasons but if I'm honest time and desire to ride were also factors. I'll keep my riding kit as I think I'd like to ride occasionally in the future but for the time being I'm out of the horsey world. It's sad but the right thing to do for my horse and myself. I'm lucky that I found a brilliant home for her.

 

[cheeryplatypus]

Thought the traditional reasons were:
Fear
Lack of fun
Lack of funds

 

[maxapple]

I 'gave up' after having my old horse put to sleep. He was my first horse and I genuinely thought that was me done with horses for good despite having been riding for 25 years at that point. I sold or gave away everything horsey I owned bar riding gear of mine; stable stuff, his saddle, all his rugs.

6 weeks later I started helping a local lady out with her horses and a few months after that bought myself a new horse. My old boy was a 15.2 tb, the new one was 15.1 tb so all his stuff would have fitted him!

I missed everything about having a horse - except for the first time in my adult life I had some spare money each month!! I've now got 2 horses and am skint but happy.

 

[noodle_]

For me yard politics... Thnk god I don't have any now as it would tip me over the edge!!

I have a youngster now and yes I plan to have another 1/2
Youngsters in the next couple of years but this one I have now is my main one is it I keep

 

[RainbowDash]

I'm another one giving up (for now). But for me it's for medical reasons - which I won't go into here. I'm on a super yard and made loads of good friends - so will really miss riding with them but will go to see them all.

Rather than Boyo being a pretty field ornament for years and years I'm selling him or letting him out on long term full loan. He has a lot to give a new home - yes it will be sad letting him go - but I have his best interests at heart .

 

[buddy's mummy]

I get severely depressed on times, its the weather, the dark evenings, and money with me I think....and horse not doing what I want to do with him really...I am seriously considering giving up - I need a light hacking home for Buddy though someone who will love him.

 

[fatpiggy]

I lost my horse (first and last) last year. The writing had been on the wall for some months and I had her put down before the winter came. Alot of people have been very surprised that I have absolutely no intention of having another horse. But my back is much less trouble a year on, my house is benefiting from having much needed repairs etc done on it, I'm far less exhausted ( I drove 60 miles a day to see to my horse before and after work). My horse was so special to me, so unique that I just don't feel that anything could replace her, and it wouldn't be fair on the new horse, comparing it constantly. I haven't even ridden since I retired her in 2005 and can truthfully say I didn't miss it then, and don't now. I miss riding HER, but nothing else. I did just about everything I ever wanted to do with her, so wasn't interested in having a new horse just to try out x and y. Lastly, sadly, I'm happy to be out of the horse world really, having witnessed so many cases of ignorance and cruelty. I don't want to have to see any of that again and to be associated by proximity to it.