What shall I do?

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Emma24

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I can't decide whats the best thing to do. I'm entered for Tweseldown Novice as my last B.e this season. But I've been having real problems in my SJ, and at Dauntsey felt my sj hadn't improved ( and that was at pn), I seem to be in downward spiral of 3 yrs!
And when ever my sj starts to get better I make a mistake and then get in a pickle again.
So i'm desperate not to go, but on the other hand have only managed one novice this yr and my horse has been more then capable of doing one from the begining of this yr. My parents think it would be good to do another one. I feel like i'm running away from my problems if I don't go, and of course its always easier to not go. Half of me things get on with it, the half of me knows how much I wish I cld just finish the season now. Plus I'll lose more money! Just don't know what to do!
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Can't be of much help, but with any luck it'll be cancelled like lots of other things this season
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can you not do any more SJ before then? Go round a Newcomers maybe?
 
Can you swap to PN at Tweseldown? That's what I'd do in your shoes TBH.

If it makes you feel any better money-wise, I had to withdraw from Dauntsey and it looks like I'm about to lose the money from Mount Ballan and Aldon too
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I will have managed to lose as much money in entry fees this year as I spent on completed events for one reason and another.
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Sadly my sj isn't gonna be fixed over nite and I think if i went and jumped newcomers I could possible have a heartattack. I may only just cope jumping BN.
I absolutly hate sj, but wanna keep eventing as love xc and dres.
Thanks for the suggestion
 
I'm being really akward here but I really can only do the Novice as parents wld kill me. Done PN all this yr placed everytime out so not much point in doing another one its the step up that causing me such stress, what I can't work out is whether I just get on with it and go but i'm so worried i'm gonna carry on upsetting my amazing horse with my stressing in sj. I really wanna finish the season and for it to all go away but that wld be running away from my issues!
 
dont panic. As soon as you panic then everything goes to pot. Get some lessons at home, sit quietly, and breathe! If you stay in a rhythm and the canter is working, then you will be ok. Please dont stress. I have been here before, and I know how you fel, but PLEASE dont stress. Get some lessons, chill out, just please dont stress
 
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I'm being really akward here but I really can only do the Novice as parents wld kill me. Done PN all this yr placed everytime out so not much point in doing another one its the step up that causing me such stress, what I can't work out is whether I just get on with it and go but i'm so worried i'm gonna carry on upsetting my amazing horse with my stressing in sj. I really wanna finish the season and for it to all go away but that wld be running away from my issues!

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Are you being serious?! Why on earth would your parents be upset? Is there a PNP at Tweseldown?

It is a big step up from PN to Novice IMO.

Another option is something to help the SJ nerves - assuming nerves are the problem rather than you or the horse not being capable (in terms of being ready/schooled enough rather than scope) to do Novice. Have a look at www.jo-cooper.com, jo is very helpful and will almost certainly be able to help.
 
My parents are V competitive, and know how good my horse is, but lately i've got into this state of mind that every time I mess up in Sj i'm ruining my horse, so now I have actually started messing up because i'm so scared of messing up, if you get me.
I did start to get better in the middle of the season did a pn+ was placed then went to gatcombe and go round clear lovely round until last fence when i decided to take a flyer ( seriously bad idea) and make and bit of mess been going down hill ever since. Back to how it was the end of last yr which was not good. Have lessons all the time, but just don't seem to be able to fix my brain!
 
Well, I think you need to do two things - firstly sit your parents down and tell them how you feel - there is no point in ruining your confidence at the last event of the year because it'll be ten times harder to get on with it next year. Then you need to look into how you can sort out your nerves - as I said, I (and many others on here) have found Jo Cooper very very good.

Have you discussed it with your parents?
 
yep spoke to parents they have got the hint, but next problem is if I don't get going or moving up the levels with my horse they will sell him to a better rider! Now I know that seems harsh, but it is their horse and they did buy him for quite a lot of money as a four yr old. And the he is amazing, and I can jump him well so I think they get so frustrated.
I Am going to see a hypnotherispist but i'm evening wondering if that will work it really is that bad!
You can why its so stressful.
 
Hi Emma24 i had a similar problem with my sj last year. I have a horse who is a good sj and had been jumping clear round B.E novice, but after a fall at the end of the season I completely lost my confidence in my ability to get my horse round a course of showjumps. I had lessons, but these did not really help as I can jump ok at home. So I registered BSJA at the start of this year- I started right at BN and have been going about once or twice a month ever since. My horse is now jumping 1'15m opens and foxhunter classes! I go to Summerhouse at Gloucester which has a big outdoor arena ( i found jumping indoors did'nt help) And while we still have the odd pole down- Ive got my confidence back-so would def recommend bsja'ing!
 
Thanks, I was wondering if it would work to start BSJA and try as jump as much as possible through the winter. It's good to hear it worked for someone else.
 
I would hope and pray and do a raindance for Tweseldown. If it's cancelled then you don't have to go without losing face. I wouldn't under any circumstances go and do the novice in the frame of mind you're in - a recipe for disaster in my opinion. If you can't get moved to the PN (and there's always a point in doing another PN, apart from anything else it's always a good thing to end the season on a good note and will give you a lot of confidence for next season) then don't go.

If your problems are only manifesting themselves at competitions then join the BSJA, find somewhere that jumps outdoors so that it feels as close to BE as poss and start at BN. Stay at BN until it holds absolutely no fear for you and you can do it in your sleep then move up to Disco. By the spring you should be able to jump NC in your sleep.

To be brutally honest if you think jumping newcomers is going to give you a heart attack then I wouldn't even be considering going Novice yet.
 
If you're happy pottering round PN courses why do you need to make the step up to Novice? If your parents sell the horse then so be it - at least you'll be able to relax and stop worrying.
I know it's not really that simple but it sounds as if you're getting yourself in a right old state and that isn't healthy. Good luck xx
 
You need to take the entry fees out of your decision making. It's a sunk cost, it makes no difference if you go or not the money is spent.

Fingers crossed for you that it all works out.
 
Fully agree with DD - money gone now,in fact you'll save money if you don't go,as no diesel!
On a more serious note - if your parents pressure you into doing something you really are not happy or confident about - they are putting you and their precious horse at risk. Are you intending to do this for a living or is it for fun? At the moment it is anything BUT fun. Sentiment aside - I am sure you also have feelings for the horse,above and beyond it's performance - if they want to pay a professional to ride it,and get results,let them.Then they can happily try and call the shots,as much as a pro will let them........even pros like to work WITH owners! You are not a pro - you're their daughter,and you should be treated with a little more understanding. If you feel for whatever reason you must see this through,then BSJA is a good idea. We had similar with stressage - and decided "board practise" was the order of the day. By the spring,the theory was the message would sink in that DR is not necessarily followed by "fun" therefore you can relax. That was as much for rider as horse - warm up was often good,but as soon as they headed for the dreaded boards,they both visibly tensed up. On another serious note -sorry!- If the horse is as good as you say, Novice is only another level on an upward journey. Are you prepared to go through this again when the owners feel it is time to progress to Intermediate?
 
I ride for a living, and don't have problems with other horses. Its just him I think because he's probably the best horse i've ever ridden and my parents spent a lot of money on him.
I did gatcombe novice this yr and had a lovely sj round, so thats why i'm wondering shld i just get on with. Ur right i'm not so worried about the money and it wld save me a lot in diesel.
I'm deff not putting my horse at risk its not that bad, when i'm normaly riding and happy with SJ I have a good eye for a stride, but since i've been having problems because i'm worried I struggle to see my stride so easily and then worry even more because i can't see my stride.
I don't see to be able to get it out my head i'm fine and not going to mess up at then fence. Only a couple of months back i was training over 1.20 courses.
On ur note about going up the next level I don't think it will be a problem once i get over this problem of sj, my worrying its not so much about the height but getting to the fence correctly, ( though obviously when its smaller there is less to worry about if u make a mistake). Its all in the head!
 
Very best of luck - go all out for the BSJA then......start little,and build up.Do you go to comps without parents? There is always so much extra pressure when they are about,i'm sure. Parents probably expect more from their offspring than others. (shouldn't teach kids to drive,either!!) When you get into the vicious "confidence" circle,it's very hard to get off. What about sports shrink? Didn't Pip.F use one at some time?
 
You should be riding for yourself NOT YOUR PARENTS!
I made this mistake and ended up losing complete confidence in the sjing phase.
I didnt event for a year and spent the whole time building both my horses and my confidence.
Before, I was happily eventing around PN and show jumping 1.20 courses at home.

Until you start riding for yourself Im afraid you will continue to take that downward spiral.
It got so bad my horse wouldnt even load! I thought, it was fine, I couldnt jump at home but would do it at the event.
I ended up being green and nearly throwing up going into the sjing. The xc and dressage never bothered me.

Things obviously do go wrong from time to time, but its how you deal with them that counts.

Id save your diesel money and use it for some confidence sjing training
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Why bother going to an event when you know in your heart of hearts that if it goes wrong that youre not strong enough to pick yourself up and dust yourself down and move on.

My horse was ultra careful, would be in the top 3 after the dressage and bold xc. But because of my fears of 1. screwing it up, 2. letting my parents down and 3. expected to do well because horse was capable all took its toll.
 
i honestly think you should just get on with it. think positively about all the good rounds you've had, practise over a few in the collecting ring, get in there, get a good canter and pop round! novice isn't big at all, as long as you're on a capable horse and have a good canter and keep your legs on it should be a good round. if you're worried about getting a bit hooky/looky, think of going round against the clock and keep the revs up and keep moving forward to the fences. best of luck!
 
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I ride for a living, and don't have problems with other horses. Its just him I think because he's probably the best horse i've ever ridden and my parents spent a lot of money on him.
I did gatcombe novice this yr and had a lovely sj round, so thats why i'm wondering shld i just get on with. Ur right i'm not so worried about the money and it wld save me a lot in diesel.
I'm deff not putting my horse at risk its not that bad, when i'm normaly riding and happy with SJ I have a good eye for a stride, but since i've been having problems because i'm worried I struggle to see my stride so easily and then worry even more because i can't see my stride.
I don't see to be able to get it out my head i'm fine and not going to mess up at then fence. Only a couple of months back i was training over 1.20 courses.
On ur note about going up the next level I don't think it will be a problem once i get over this problem of sj, my worrying its not so much about the height but getting to the fence correctly, ( though obviously when its smaller there is less to worry about if u make a mistake). Its all in the head!

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I was exactly the same, I could ride another horse over the big fences, it was just this horse I couldnt, because he was the best Id ever ridden too.
I had help from Jo Cooper (TFT) made a real difference.
 
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