what to do, what to do - quite long - sorry!

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Abbeygale

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OK - so I own a 15.2hh Section D x Anglo Arab mare, who is 10 this year. She had bred a lovely foal before I brought her, and I have since bred a stunning foal from her. I brought her as a project horse - she came to me with problems that I knew about when I brought - namely that she bucked.

Now I would like to point out I am not a complete wuss, and I have sat on a LOT of horses bucking - and this mare can really buck. She also bucks without really putting her head down as such, just tucks her nose in - so she is really difficult to stop once she has started. Most of the time when she started broncing with me the only way to stop her was to run her into the nearest hedge / fence - obviously not very safe for me or her.

She has ever only bucked with me in the field - when I was out hacking her she was good as gold - even good at baby sitting other horses.

The story I had heard when I brought this mare is that she was broken with parelli - started working ok, and then one day started bucking. When I first had her I had about 6 months of regular hacking a little light work (i.e. just walking) before she started bucking. The first time she really bronced with me was when my sister had tried some parelli with her - so whether this was the insitgating factor - I don't know.

After a couple of really big broncing sessions, I went right back to basics, and we were going ok. At one time I was lying over her back and we were just walking around and she started to buck - so I just slipped off and went to walk away. However, in her process of bucking she managed to kick me really quite badly, and I was lucky not to have been seriously hurt. My confidence was knocked really badly and I couldnt face getting back on her. After this I didn't have the courage to try and get on her again and (I'm sure I will have bad comments for this but here goes) I put her in foal. She produced a lovely foal - and the plan was for her then (after weaning foal) to go my sisters to be lightly ridden and then sold, as I feel so unconfident, and get butterflies even if I think about getting on her (i have been riding my other horse and other peoples horses in the meantime).
She has been up with my sister for over 3 months now and has been perfectly well behaved - she has been out hacking, and some work in the field and polework, and has not even volunteered a buck in that time. Now my sister is losing her grazing - and my options are either her go to a dealers yard or have her back with me.

Now my first thought was "oh I could put her in foal again", but I don't realistically have enough room to do this - and really it is just a delaying tactic!
Now I am wondering if there is anyone has any ideas or similar stories and how they have worked up the courage and confidence to get back on that horse again? I love this mare to pieces - but it just seems like she doesn't like me
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She is a perfect size for me, and she is sooo sweet natured all of the rest of the time - which I think is why I find this situation so frustrating. Even if I brought her back and just kept her to hack on (I still have another horse to ride to do more with) I would rather keep her just for hacking rather than send her to a dealers yard - but I just don't know how to restore my confidence.

I'm sorry that this is such a long post - but we have quite a lot of history in the last 3 years - and so much of it has been negative. But I stil love this mare to pieces - in so many ways she is exactly what I wanted - its just the excessive bucking (that it now seems is just with me
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What would you do?? Help mee!!!!! please!!

(Cookies and hugs for getting this far..... xx)
 
can whoever was riding her and working with her at your sisters carry on with that if you take her home?

long story but i bought a horse (well saved him) from a dealer and he frightened me so someone else worked him and got him sorted out, he got sold which was always the plan but i did have some good hacks on him before he went away - he now has a lovely home and im still in touch with new owners!

anyway you could either get someone else to carry on the mares work but on your yard/land then see if in time you can get back on her and settled or you could then sell her privately without her having to go to the dealer?

you have to remember that if you know you'l be nervous getting on her then that wont help her or you as she'l sense it as soon as you get on top.

hope that helps!
 
I knew there was a bit of the story that I had left out of there! I was trying not to make my post too long and draggy that I missed a bit!

I'm in Cornwall and my sister is in Kent. There may potentially be someone local to me that may be able to carry on hacking her out - but she works full time, and has other horses that she rides - so I am not sure whether she is going to have time to help me.

The last thing that I want to do is her to go to a dealers yard

I had thought about hypnotherapy or something like that as I am sure that it is just a mental block on my part - and not my dear girl's fault.

I would rather I know where she is - and if it means I am out of pocket and time keeping her with me then thats fine, I will always cancel other things to look after my horses - but I equally don't want her to just stay with me for the sake of it being a pet (I'm not rich enough to afford a horse just as a pet!!!!). She does enjoy hacking out - I just don't know how to get past my mental block

Thanks for your reply though!
 
Bit long, sorry. Firstly your fears aren't just an un-founded psychological confidence issue they are fears based on genuine danger and self-preservation so it makes sense that you have them. You don't just have to get past a confidence barrier, you've got to take away or at least reduce the danger as well. Find a good professional to help you who specialises in working with quirky/problem horses, as much as anything else, you won't get very far if you get injured.

I don't know if this will help you but it might give you some ideas. My horse is odd. She has panic attacks whilst being mounted or shortly afterwards - the more anxious or unsettled she is the more violent it is and the faster she runs. She plunges if you attempt to steer or pull her up and for the first few weeks of having her she would go until I lost my balance and either fell or jumped off.

Most people said I was mad every time I got back on but the way I dealt with it was partly pure stubborness and determination and also largely because every time I got on something had to be different. As long as I was trying something new (new bit, different boots on me, a leg up etc...) I could get on giving the horse a reasonably clean slate that today might be different. After running out of ideas to try it was a local professional who showed me the trick to riding her which is to mount and walk round on concrete in an enclosed area before trying to do anything else.

Her problem is very much still with her and at times she still starts to make me nervous but I can deal with this mentally by just getting on thinking "it was fine yesterday, no reason for today to be any different". Confidence is just mind over matter, but you have the bigger problem of actually tackling the dangerous behaviour which is rarely ever 'cured', you need to find someone who can teach you to deal with it.
 
Thanks for your reply.

I think until she went to my sisters I had said "I'm not going to get on her again" - hence the foal, and her going all the way to Kent to my sisters.
However, the fact that I have seen that she can go out hacking - all over the place - under and over motorways, under the euro star line, in heavy traffic, with different people on her and baby sit other horses - has even given me cause to consider doing this.
Even after what she has done to me, I don't truly believe that she is a "bad" horse - but I think that there was a problem at the time - which maybe the time off while she was in foal and with foal at foot (i still walked her out on the roads in hand while she was in foal) maybe has been given a chance to resolve itself.
I completely agree with you that confidence is mind over matter - its just getting my mind over that matter!!
I don't ever think that she will be the simplest horse to ride - as I think you always need to be aware that she has the potential to buck - but in everyother way she is such a darling.

From reading other people's posts on here they are really inspiring to the fact that I can overcome this and at least hack her out confidently - but I think it is a huge challenge to say the least.
 
Now this might be a long shot BUT a friend of mine from way back when took up Parelli and got good enough at it to start horses (and show me taking her mare XC with NO TACK AT ALL). Was all very impressive and although I am not a huge fan of the methods it clearly worked.

Anyway, she showed me her youngster that she was just breaking wearing something called a 'bucking strap'. Now, I haven't looked it up but remember her saying it was supposed to either prevent bucking or be uncomfortable if the horse bucked wearing it.

IF your horse has been started by someone inexpert in using this kind of equipment it may explain the behavior and may be wortwhile finding out a bit more about it.

Just a thought
 
Could you start hacking her out with someone on foot with you - even on a lead rein if need be until you got some confidence back? You sound very fond of her so there would be no need to rush. You could just take it in stages until you were hacking off the lead rein, then maybe hacking with other riders as opposed to havng someone on foot. Hope I don't sound patroniseing but if you took very, very small steps and were careful to make sure you had no bad experiences on her you would probably start to get your confdence back. Probably quicker than you would think. Once you have cracked the hacking you should be really used to each other and could then have a try in the school - again with a friend leading you if need be until you got your confidence there too.
 
Thanks for all your replies.

Whether it was a moment of madness, or maybe a glass too many of wine, but I have agreed to take her back. I'm not entirely sure that I am doing the right thing - but I cannot bear to see her going to a dealers yard, or not to the best possible home. I might not be able to provide the best possible home - but I will know that she is being loved and looked after.
She is going to come back from Kent in 8 days time, and then a fortnight after that my sis is going to come down to cornwall for 3/4 days just to come out hacking with me and get me started on her. I am sure that once I get over my initial panic in my head I am going to be ok. I do also have a friend that will be able to walk out with me to start with.
In the short term I am not going to even think about riding in the school or doing any schooling work, as I would much prefer to go and and get fit slowly out walking on the roads (something that she obviously likes!).
In the time between when she comes back and my sis comes down I am going to spend a lot of time with her - just sitting in stable time / grooming etc. We are going to be friends! Before then I am going to ride as many of my friends horses as i can just to show to myself that I can get on strange horses and don't need to be worried, as I do think that this is a lot of the problem.
I will keep you guys posted though!
Thanks for your support and help though

Here's my girl - you can't hate this face can you! (sorry its so big!)

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she's so sweet, she looks nice natured aswell so im sure after some bonding the two of you will get on great! if its any consilation my 'problem' gelding was chestnut too lol you know what they say about red heads being fiesty!

good luck and if you do sell her i hope you find a home as nice as my boy went too x x
 
I think half the problem is that I am a fiery redhead too!! hahah!!

Thanks for all your replies - and I will keep you updated on her progress.

My sister phoned me last night to tell me that she had managed to get her leg stuck in a pallet (???!!!! - bloody pallets in fields....) and was looking a bit sorry for her self, but she is ok today - and no swelling - thank god.
 
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