what to do when your friends take the mick out of you for liking horses

aliceeventing131

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i get quite offended by it actually, okay this is going to be a very long rant so if you get to the bottom and reply THANK YOU!!

okay, cut a long story short iv loved horses more than people (they dont bitch, they dont answer back etc etc) forever, i dont talk about them that much at school only when people ask, i have friends but iv always felt a bit withdrawn from them im constantly daydreaming and id rather be with my loan pony that at parties etc. i got my loan pony recently, shes 14 and lovely but iv had a bit of a blow having had her for a few months because her saddle does not fit her properly and unless she wears like 5 numnahs shes in pain as its digging into her shoulder on one side. her owner is getting it checked before university but im a show jumper and i really do not fit into the yard im at because noone jumps there, and i have to ask the whole yard if its okay to jump cos of there horses out in the fields etc, i had to leave the best riding school and a pony who i had a real bond with so its been really difficult for me

getting to the point iv just had a tough time with my loan pony, the yard is the complete opposite to what i would have liked (there were no other loans about and i know i couldnt stay in a riding school forever) and the pony is years older than i would have liked etc etc, but shes a sweetheart and weve got a bond blah blah, but 2 of my friends are just being so so so horrible about me liking horses (they arnt even that nice about anything else, always making little sarcastic comments about me) today iv got two wall posts on facebook one qouting a facebook group "that freak in your year obsessed with horses" and her saying that reminds me of you then some likes from her 'crew' who are horrible to me as well. she acts so evil to me in school, asking "oooh hows your little pony has she been made into dog food yet or sent to be meat slaughtered, well she should be" when she said that i had to try so hard to stop myself crying. so yeah her and her 'crew' saying things like that all day every day it just really upsets me though i try not to show it, luckily i have a few friends i really trust who comfort me

you get the idea, i know this isnt a personal help forum but just some words of advice and/or comfort would be nice cup of tea and biccies for getting this far
 

tallyho!

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well, sorry to hear all that. Firstly, i would call a saddle fitter and get your pony comfortable at least.

Secondly, I know it's hard at a young age to ignore your peers but don't take any notice. It's well hip to have horses!!! They're only jealous.
 

Ranyhyn

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I wouldn't class those people as friends :) I'd be moving on and let them enjoy being immature by themselves. Good friends, no matter what age will be happy when you are happy. And if talking about horses makes you happy...well... :)
 

Emilieu

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Jealousy and I wouldn't call these people friends at all just nasty jealous witches. Poor you, enjoy your pony and spend the time that you can't ride getting to know her even better - tell her all your worries, horses are great listeners :D
Focus your energy on the good friends, maybe invite them up to visit the pony? Just distance yourself from them cos it doesn't sound like you are getting anything from their 'friendship' anyway.
Chin up - you are so lucky to have a pony to enjoy so focus on the good!:)
 

You Wont Forget Me

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I know what you mean! my friends are axactly the same always take the mick not meaning anything by it of course just a bit of a laugh but i used to get really offended now just ignore it!! And suggest you do the same
 

Devonshire dumpling

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Get your saddle sorted ASAP before riding if I were you xx

And those Frenemies are soooooooooooooooooooooooo jealouss its sooo obvious they are absolutely dying to be you, and the only way to drive them insane is to smile at them and be lovely as you obviously are and they won't know how to react to that!!!!! Little nasty Bitches.... did I say that out loud?

Just enjoy your pony and let them fester in boys and makeup or whatever floats their shallow boats!

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((big hug from me))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
 

becca1305

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firstly you need to get your pony comfortable the more you ride her in pain the less she is going to want to try for you, regardless of age this is your responsibility to get sorted whether through her owner or directly yourself if you want to ride her.

Secondly try to IGNORE them! its hard I know I suffered very similar at secondary school not helped by the fact that I am a lanky b****r so stood out in several ways from "the norm". I let it get to me for ages but then had enough and as I am luckily very talented in the verbal assault department embarrassed them in front of almost the entire year and teachers (if you do this be careful not to use swear words you dont want it to come back to bite you). They mainly left me alone after that I gained respect from others they bullied and if the "clique" of plastic girls ever sniped at any one of them they got a firm retaliation along the lines of fake tan or whatever to put them back in their place. It was unfortunately the only thing that worked. They dislike you because you are not the "norm" and clearly have more to life than them and are happy with your interests, they on the other hand probably spend all day discussing boys, clothes and celebrities and have no proper interests in life. You are an easy target to pick on because you are different but remember people who do this usually do it because they are insecure themselves so if ignoring them doesnt cut it, sniping back at something you think they may be insecure about usually does the trick. Others may not agree with me on this as it may seem "bitchy" but after suffering years of that c**p it was the only thing that worked for me. Also highly recommend if you are really interested in horses leaving after gcses and going somewhere else. I went to Hartpury College to do my alevels and after years of not belonging I adored it, it was the place I fit everyone was like me committed to something else whether it be horses, rugby or football and we all got on fantastically. I dont doubt the two years I spent there will likely be amongst the happiest in my life :). Hope that helps x
Oh and another thing to do is try and "own" their criticisms. I got called "barbie" at school for ages on account of being tall and blonde with blue eyes :S dont ask! but I ended up laughing over it owning it and my best friends call me it affectionately now. the bitchy ones sooned stop using it!
 
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I definitely agree with ignoring the comments, that or think of a clever and quick come-back to keep them quiet, they’re no friends of yours if they cannot help themselves from being mean and upsetting you, horses are a pleasure to have, tell them that you’re enjoying your horse and that everything is going well thank you when they say such things, ps get a saddler out, good luck :)
 

BlizzardBudd

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I'm exactl;y the same as youu!! i think i PMed you about getting the loan horse and you did the right thing in the way your progression was.. ust ignore them and think of all the lovely times you are going to have with your pony! :p i know i have some pretty good friends but they dont understand the connection with horses!!
hope you get things sorted out and dont let it affect your riding :D xx

ps. also feel free to PM me.. i have and am going through the same things as you! so your not alone :)
 

tallyho!

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oh another thing.... you'll soon make some new horsey friends and won't need your nasty so-called "friends" anymore... yay!!
 

aliceeventing131

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i sent her owner a long nagging text about her back today i felt such a horrible person for not noticing it sooner, thank you for all your comforting messages im the type of person who gets really hurt by people as the people who are doing that are the bitches who find it so so easy to make you feel awful

i am planning to go to equine college and get my dream job with horses (i have never gave a damn about the pay, as long as its with horses im happyy) so hopefully i will fit in there (hartpury or south staffs!!) iv just got to think ******* them, unfortauntly shes been moved behind me in maths and gives me a sarcastic round of applause if i ever get a question right (how am i meant to get into a top equine college without a maths gcse??) so wish me luck

thankyou for all your lovely messages, im right on to her back iv been nagging her owner about it all day and gave her my attempy at a massage for half an hour, also been studying aromatherapy oils and found a great one for stiff muscles so might try that

thanks again!!!
 

Ranyhyn

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The more she teases you, just grin and think to yourself how silly we all think she is and how much better your life will be because you have focus and dedication!

Keep your chin up and do not let them get to you - they are simply threatened by you. Got to wonder what the teachers are doing letting that go on - but that's an argument for another day!

You'll be fantastic at horsey college and your hard work there will be rewarded I'm sure x
 

Kenzo

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People like that are not worth you worring over, their the freaks for being so nasty, best thing you can do is delete your FB account and concentrate on your studies and your horse, anyone who has the pleasure and opportunity of riding or owning/loaning or being around such a wonderful creature is a very lucky and privileged person, it takes a kind heart to deal with horses, so people like this will never underdtand unless they experienced it themselves.

Take no notice, enjoy your horse, see that a saddle is sorted and move yards, everything will seem so much better then.
 

becca1305

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Okay the sarcastic clapping thing... turn round and say something along the lines of "Im sorry are you naturally that immature or is it something you have to work at?" or perhaps "maybe you should spend less time mocking and more time learning as you clearly need it since you didnt know the answer!". your maths teacher clearly knows what is going on so they should just ignore you standing up for yourself as long as you dont swear/shout at her! hopefully the class will laugh she will go red and stop it! At least they havent cottoned on to the "clip clop" noise making thing yet, that is severely irritating! I think thats what got me closest to decking one of them! but i settled for a verbal attack about how I appreciated they had little better to do in life then think of ways to be immature cows and I felt sorry for them. Just be confident and act like you dont give a damn! and they are not your friends. Guilt inducing comments along the lines of gosh I feel sorry for you when you think back as an adult on the way you acted in high school; this usually works on the ones with some conscience! There is some good outcomes from all this crap, you will grow a very thick skin and if confident you will become very good at quick witted responses! A lot of us have been through what you are going through so stay strong and if ignoring fails give as good as you get it usually makes them back off as they arent expecting to be challenged! PM me if you ever need any advice/ help Im the Queen of this kind of targetting! x

PS All the girls that attempted to bully me now try to be lovely to me now years on ;) idiots.
 
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xspiralx

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Delete these people from facebook. They are not friends, they are nasty spiteful people.

Ignore them. They're probably jealous. And who cares what they think?

I endured years of people calling me a "horse sh*gger" of all things at school. Pathetic really. They'll grow out of it.
 

Dancing Queen

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They are just Jealous.

but 14 is not old - Be grateful you have a loan pony.

These people are not worth bothering with - stop taking notice of what silly, jealous, immature people are saying - they are not relevant to you in any way shape or form!

Get off FB or delete these people and concentrate on having fun with you r pony. xx
 

swampdonkey

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Hi, I don' t think the facebook comment is only aimed at you, looking at my face book wall all of the young girls from our yard have them on their walls tonight, they have just laughed about it, try to take it light heartedlly, i know easier said than done.
 

Tnavas

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Ignore their comments, they are probably jealous but to behave like that they are not your friends either - remove them from your Facebook friends list too.

Enjoy your loan pony - I was like you as a teenager, my ponies were my life and I've made some good friends through my association with horses - and we always have something to talk about.

Make friends with other riders at the yard you are at - you may not all enjoy the same discipline but you all enjoy horses. MAybe you could take an interest in the disciplines they like and they might start being interested in what you do.
 

aliceeventing131

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Delete these people from facebook. They are not friends, they are nasty spiteful people.

Ignore them. They're probably jealous. And who cares what they think?

I endured years of people calling me a "horse sh*gger" of all things at school. Pathetic really. They'll grow out of it.


oh yeah, horse sh*gger i get that one too, just didnt want to mention it unless someone else did! the thing with the deleting from facebook thing, i unfortunatly know this girl too well the response will be "aww couldnt you take our comments so you have to delete us from facebook, im so offended" and the so offended bit covered in sarcasm, so im planning on the keep calm and carry on (or canter on) route
 

Frumpoon

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This kind of thing happens regardless of your age - I'm well into my 30's and still get the odd rib for loving animals more than people!!
 

Dancing Queen

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oh yeah, horse sh*gger i get that one too, just didnt want to mention it unless someone else did! the thing with the deleting from facebook thing, i unfortunatly know this girl too well the response will be "aww couldnt you take our comments so you have to delete us from facebook, im so offended" and the so offended bit covered in sarcasm, so im planning on the keep calm and carry on (or canter on) route

to which you say "back off, wind your neck in and get a life"
 

PingPongPony

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firstly, i'm only 2 years older than you and i have been through what you're going through, not that long ago so i know what its like and big hugs and chin up! chin up helps you with your confidence actualy :)
this is exactly why i moved to a grammar school, because no one there will laugh at you for having a hobby and passion for something and they will definitely not laugh if you get an answer right as everyone there wants to get it right!
what you could do when she claps in maths is say ''thanks, thats so nice of you'' she'll probs be confused as to why you're being nice ;p if that doesn't work or if she's too thick to be confused then pick her weak point and hit it (with a comment not physically!) eg. if she wears loads of make up say ''aww bless i bet you're incapable of seeing the maths question through all that c**p on your face''
i wouldn't delete them of facebook as like you said that'll just give them another thing to laugh about. you could comment on the post though saying ''haha good one, at least i have a hobby, whats yours? ... oh wait, i guess its facebook likes'' or something like that (if it were me she would not last long in that school, hey why don't i move to your school?! :D )
any problems just pm me and i'll be glad to help as i know its horrible but i LOVE being a b***h to people who deserve it :D x
 

D66

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Ask your maths teacher what she intends to do about this girl's behaviour in class. Do your parents know what you are suffering as school? Get some adult help/support and at least let them know what's happening. Don't suffer in silence.
 

miss_bird

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QR so sorry if repeating whats been said above
These girls at school don't sound nice at all so sadly the best advice i can give is take a step away from them and stand on your own, it maybe that other girls in your year are not comnig forwards to be friends with you due to the girls you hang around with at the moment.
Maybe when you move away from them and other girls in your year find out what you are really like you may find yourself with a better group of friends.
Oh and the saddle thing needs sorting asap
 
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