What to do?

[Potato!]

Im in a bit of a Pickle.

I have my haffie mare at the moment and a companion pony on loan which isn’t really working out. I have the opportunity to buy a fantastic youngster who will suit me down to the ground, and my idea was to send the companion pony back home and have the Haffie and the youngster (Haffie won’t stay alone)


I love the Donna to bits and always said that I would never sell her but I can’t do the things I want to with her as she gets herself into a state when out hunting and doesn’t travel well (had a couple of incidents where she has got herself stuck in a trailer and a lorry). This is why I’m wanting the youngster who I can do the things I can’t do with her. Out hacking and pleasure rides she is fantastic but im getting so fed up of hacking etc.

However the other half has put his foot down and said I have to sell the haffie if I want the youngster. I was thinking of putting her on loan, but he said no because she could come back. She has had a few issues which makes me uneasy about selling her but I have had a lot of interest in her, someone coming to see her later today. Since I have decided to sell her she has been very off with me, unable to catch her and her not wanting to do anything. She is being a bit naughty when people come to see her. I thought about putting her out on grass livery for £10.00 per week with the use of a school. And finding a sharer to help with the costs
Because at the worst case scenario she isn’t costing me very much.

Not quite sure what to do?

I will add that the OH has nothing to do with the horses and I fund them entirely myself. He is having a go because I don’t ever seem to have any money, as i always spend it on the horses. He thinks that if I have only one I will be better off. I pay £25.00 per week field rent which I can have upto three horses. I have two stables. Funnily if I have 1 horse then hayledge costs go up as I buy big bales (£16 per bale and lasts 10 days to two weeks) at the moment which I wouldn’t be able to do with one horse. So I see it the difference between what I’m doing now and what I would be doing is shoeing. However if I got a sharer for the mare then I would have some help with her shoeing costs.

 

[AmyMay]

So you have 3 horses?

Haffie
Donna
Loan pony

Send loan pony back - replace it with youngster.

If you fund the horses, and are able to fully contribute to the household finances etc. holidays etc. then I don't see what your OH has to do with it.

 

[Potato!]

We don’t live together and don’t have any holidays etc he is a farmer

Yes I have Donna the haffie and loan pony hoping to get the youngster so the loan pony would go back. So I would still only have 2

I do kind of see his point as things are always so tight and he wants us to start to think about living together.

But at the same time i want to keep Donna too.

 

[AmyMay]

We don’t live together and don’t have any holidays etc he is a farmer .

Then how you spend your money is entirely your business - no one elses.

 

[Tost]

Your OH has no right to tell you what you can and can't do with regards to YOUR horses! Yes he can give his honest opinion but he can't just put his foot down like that especially if you aren't living together.

As amymay suggested, give the companion pony back get yourself a youngster and keep the haffie. If your OH gets in a strop leave him to it, he'll get over it.

 

[Potato!]

I did forget to mention that i owe him £1500 for the car he let me buy. but we had agreed to let me pay him back monthly

 

[cjt1701]

If you keep the haffie, send back companion and get youngster will the haffie stay alone when you take youngster out?

 

[AmyMay]

I did forget to mention that i owe him £1500 for the car he let me buy. but we had agreed to let me pay him back monthly

Ah, well that's slightly different.

If you can afford to buy the youngster - you can afford to pay off your OH (which should obviously be done first........)

 

[Tost]

I can see why your OH would be a bit annoyed then! I think OH needs to have his money before you think about buying a youngster.

 

[Potato!]

I have agreed to pay for the youngster in installments as well so they are both being paid off together and both will have been paid for by next spring.

I had agreed to pay him the money owed within 12 months and in reallity i will have paid him in 8 months and the youngster aswell.

 

[AmyMay]

I have agreed to pay for the youngster in installments as well so they are both being paid off together and both will have been paid for by next spring.

I had agreed to pay him the money owed within 12 months and in reallity i will have paid him in 8 months and the youngster aswell.

Sorry, I really do see where your OH is comming from.

If you are paying off the youngster in installments - that money could go towards to paying off your OH quicker.

You should pay off your OH before committing to another 'loan'.

 

[nixxyz]

i can see where both of you are coming from lol as im in exactly the same position. OH bought my car so am paying him back in installments and hes a farmer (he hasnt had a day off since may) so never spends his money and always wants to go out and go on hollidays etc when he does have a quiet spell (we dont live together either), but i cant as i spend all my money on my daughter and the horses.
If your just looking to free up some money i think getting a sharer is a brill idea then you can both have your cake and eat it so to speak i have a sharer for my oap semi retired cob and it works fab she doeant cost me anything but pl linsurance but i dont think you should sell your haffie just because your OH says so.. they're your horses not his.

 

[scatty_mare]

I agree with Amymay - and I think your OH has a point. Don't you hate it when they're right??!

How about if you concentrate really hard on paying your OH back over the winter, then start looking for a youngster in the spring? Just a thought. You'll probably have to let this one go but there'll be others, probably better than getting yourself further and further in debt.

 

[Potato!]

I know he is right I was just hoping that there was something I could do. I guess all I can do is try to keep in touch with the new owner and hope they give me first refusal they wanted to sell her.

Im only buying this youngster because he is so right for me.

This is why i though to free up some cash I could get a sharer as then the money I would be saving on her I would be using to pay for the youngster.

 

[Tammytoo]

Pay off your OH before committing to a youngster. It's only eight months and you will be able to do more with a youngster in Spring than over winter. There are so many lovely youngsters out there that even if the one you have in mind has been sold, I'm sure you will easily find another.

Suppose you lose your job before paying back the loans? In the present economic climate nothing is guaranteed so it makes sense to keep your finances in the black rather than the red!

 

[jhoward]

somebody mentioned about having donna and the baby...

will donna stay alone when you take the youngster out..

 

[Potato!]

Yeah I guess he is right I can pay him back with the money from the sale of her, and pay for Taio quicker.

Donna may be a problem your right, Im not sure she will stay alone.

 

[jrp204]

Let the person who wants to view your mare come and see how they get on, if they want to buy her let them. Then buy the youngster with the money raised so it is paid for in one hit. You could then hopefully increase the repayments to your OH, relationships are about compromise.
In a way the livery issue is the cheapest one, it is all the extras, shoeing, jabs, teeth insurance (if they are not insured can you afford to pay a biggish vets bill?) If your mare will not do what you want her to, sell her to someone who will make the most of her and have fun with the youngster.

 

[jhoward]

Yeah I guess he is right I can pay him back with the money from the sale of her, and pay for Taio quicker.

Donna may be a problem your right, Im not sure she will stay alone.

which is a big reason why you decided to sell her. having seen what she does would u risk leaving her alone??

the idea of the youngster is that he does all of what donna doesnt

I understand your sentiments about her but with the people coming to view your be able to stay in contact etc so its not like she is going hundreds of miles away and your never hear about her.

 

[Potato!]

I’ve spoken to the man who wants donna, he asked if he bought her could she could be kept where she is and he pay me for livery I could ride her still as he just wants her to go off for a toddle as and when he has time. I suggested that we get her a top door fitted so she can’t get over the door when I have taken the youngster out. Or keep her out in the winter when other horses are next door.

He is quite novicey but just wants a pony he can give lots of love and attention to which she loves. I said I would have a think about it as I have someone coming to see her tonight.