What Would You Be Expecting to Hear?

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HazuraJane

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There's a woman at the yard who bought, sight unseen, a horse from a sort of horse-only circus act. She is having difficulties and scurries over when she sees me (horse owner for 3 years) to commiserate about her difficulties. I'm not sure what she's expecting to hear from me, as I've run through all the standard replies ("Takes time" or "Here is a video series that might help") so I'm just asking for some stock replies. No snark, please, pretty sure all of us have acted on an idea that didn't turn out to be sound (which is what I think happened here.) She doesn't seem to have resources to pay for training. Short of changing my schedule, I'm not sure how to respond to/avoid her. Thanks -
 
Headphones. Being extremely busy. Straight talking thoughts on her situation.

That's what I'd do, in that order. But from your post, I think you're nicer than me... Honestly, I'd just repeat some platitude or suggestion of knowing a good trainer ad infinitum.

(I mean, I'm all for being supportive, but there's only so much you can do if she can't pay for professional help and is truly inappropriately matched with her horse)
 
Genuinely -don't respond. The more you do the more you will be sucked in and the more guilty you will feel. Unless you make a living charging for advice in these circumstances - I'm really sorry but harden your heart. I have 40+ years horse expereince and I have seen this probably 30 odd times. It breaks your heart. But really - if you get dragged in, and I have been, it will break both our heart and your wallet. You are not a free source of advice.

But if the horse is at risk report it to the appropriate authorities.
 
JFTD-WS said:
Headphones. Being extremely busy. Straight talking thoughts on her situation.

That's what I'd do, in that order. But from your post, I think you're nicer than me... Honestly, I'd just repeat some platitude or suggestion of knowing a good trainer ad infinitum.

(I mean, I'm all for being supportive, but there's only so much you can do if she can't pay for professional help and is truly inappropriately matched with her horse)
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HA!!! Thank you!!! "I am in a hurry. . . walk with me. . . " (as I stride along to the furthest end of the property at double-speed.) :-)
 
Shay said:
Genuinely -don't respond. The more you do the more you will be sucked in and the more guilty you will feel. Unless you make a living charging for advice in these circumstances - I'm really sorry but harden your heart. I have 40+ years horse expereince and I have seen this probably 30 odd times. It breaks your heart. But really - if you get dragged in, and I have been, it will break both our heart and your wallet. You are not a free source of advice.

But if the horse is at risk report it to the appropriate authorities.
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Thank you. You're correct. Horse is not at risk; owner is at risk of being in floods of tears most of the time, though!
 
Leo Walker said:
headphones! They dont even need to have anything playing, just have them on and shrug and make a cant hear you gesture when she comes over
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I do that at home sometimes!! SHHHH, don't tell my family. Not sure why I didn't think of this for use on the yard. . .
 
Or as soon as you see her, rush over and before she gets chance to get a word in start telling her in great detail about the problem you are having with your ingrowing toe nail, piles etc. I often find people like this like an an audience but rarely want to be the listerner and never ever act on any advice they are given! Perhaps I'm just being horrible!
 
Poor horse. Seems he has had a dramatic change of lifestyle and now has a clueless "herd leader" who is not able to help him to cope. Think I would keep stressing that they are not well matched and she should re-consider his future. She will either take your advice (hopefully horse wins) or she will not like getting the same response from you and stop asking you (you win). But my sympathies are all with the horse.
 
HazuraJane said:
There's a woman at the yard who bought, sight unseen, a horse from a sort of horse-only circus act. She is having difficulties and scurries over when she sees me (horse owner for 3 years) to commiserate about her difficulties. I'm not sure what she's expecting to hear from me, as I've run through all the standard replies ("Takes time" or "Here is a video series that might help") so I'm just asking for some stock replies. No snark, please, pretty sure all of us have acted on an idea that didn't turn out to be sound (which is what I think happened here.) She doesn't seem to have resources to pay for training. Short of changing my schedule, I'm not sure how to respond to/avoid her. Thanks -
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Hmm - problem with buying a horse that has been trained in a specific way is it likely has no idea what she's asking.

Could you suggest she contact the previous owners / trainers?

Although I like the earphones, really busy, let me tell you about my nasty illness techniques. Or how about 'chat to me while you help me muck out / poo pick - might as well get some free labour.
 
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