What would you do....dilema?

Halfpass

Halfpass

Well-Known Member
Joined
1 May 2005
Messages
3,527
Location
East Sussex
Visit site
Have had Alee just over a year now and love her to bits. I have been told that she isn't the easiest of horses but I have never had a youngster before so have nothing to compare her with.
Over the summer she came on really well with inhand showing, a small amount of ridden work and inhand work at home. I have done the basics myself so far which is far more than I though I would achieve.
She is rising 4 and I am just about to start doing some light ground work with her again after about 8 weeks off.
I have started off this week just by walking her inhand around the school and asking a few more questions of her each time ie steping bacvk sideways etc etc.
Today was onyl our 2nd session and although the work in the school was mostly good the build up to it was a disaster.
She broke away from where she was tied up 2/3 times once cantering off the yard and towards the fields and school.
I am going to admit that I lost the plot a bit and screamed and shouted at her. Not ideal I know and it probably made the situation far worse instead of better but it made me feel better. I got a good talking to by a great friend (you know who you are) and put Alee back in the stable and calmed my self down.
By this time I was getting worried about taking her in the school and worked myself into a state. I did it though and although quite fresh she listened and did what was asked,
I then turned her out, here comes the next nightmare. Our fields are bordered by 1 mile gallopes so to get to each field you need to walk the gallops. Alees field is the 2nd one past the geldings. I got onto the gallops and the gelding - all 15 of them - charged over sending Alee loopy. She reared and gallopped to her own field. She went passed the gates and returned to the gate over 2 of the x country fences!!! She can really jump.

So my dielma now is that when I got back and relayed my story to others on the yard a visiting horse physio exclaimed that she knew of someone looking for a horse to event with the boldness Alee has and would I consider selling her I explained that I paid £X price and she said I'd get double!!!

Now I love Alee to bits but I am so unsure if I am the right person to do her justice. I am a highly strung person and this mixed with a horse that is also highly strung is probably not the best match. I know I have the capabilities to bring her on with guidance from my instructor but are we the best match?

My heart tells me I should keep her. I would be devastated if she was sold but that sensible side of my brain keeps saying look what I'd get horse wise for the price I sell her for. I don't want people to make a decision for me. Althought that would make is easier but advice and opinions or experiences would be great.
confused.gif
 
at the end of the day it is your decision, and everyone has bad days with their horses.
i have even advertised my horse when he was a youngster, and was offered £5500 for him. in the end i couldn't part with him.
you have to look at the bigger picture, do you have long term plans for your horse?
my fella is a long term investment, by the time my daughter is ready to move onto horses, she will have a schoolmater to help her take the next step.
good luck xx
 
tbh most horses woud react to 15 others charging up to them in a field - i know both of mine would and they arnt youngters nor highly strung.
with her pulling back off where she was tied well thats just a bad habit and again horses of all ages do this who have learnt its possible - she needs retraining to be tied up
i cant really answer your question any more than this - its entirely up to you - but the question is really r u having fun with this mare?and would you enjoy having a different sort of horse more than her? its supposed to be fun and if u arnt having fun then maybe its time to rethink things
 
do you see your horsey future with this mare? were you going to keep her for life or for a few years?
it is hard but best to go with your head and not your heart, your heart can just sometimes get in the way of an otherwise good decision
its a hard one and no one can answer it apart from you but have a real good think, is she your ideal horse? or close?
i have had my mare 15yrs and she is pretty much my perfect horse, is yours close to your ideal? is there potential for her to be your ideal?
not sure if that has helped, good luck with your decision, i am sure you will make the right decision in the end
 
You need to decide at the end of the day but remember we all have off days with our horses. I've threatened to have mine sold/shot/turned loose on Salisbury Plain with a target painted on his bum when we've had bad days and I've also lost the plot and had tantrums which have helped neither of us. I just try to put it behind us and the next day is usually better.

What do you mean by do her justice? At the end of the day you want a horse you can enjoy and she wants to be well looked after. Can you achieve that most days?
 
agree with all the above
do you enjoy your horse ?
do you look forward to working with her or dread it ?
i would seriously consider all the good and bad points and see if have more good or bad days

good luck
 
Don't dwell on the things she does wrong, for example breaking away...just take steps to prevent it happening again and move forward.
Only you can decide if you want to sell her or not...but at least you have the option...
I have a 3yo and a 2yo...and broke my old horse when she was a youngster. None of them were perfect, but I don't take it personally...just sort it out and move on.
S
laugh.gif
 
I really do adore Alee and she was bought as my horse of a lifetime.
I have always had horses on loan or bought cheap ones due to lack of finances. Luckily the last cheap horse I bought made me some money so that was the time to buy the horse I thought I'd never be able to.
I went out looking for a ready backed 4 year old and came home with an unhandled 2 year old. I realised quite early on in my search that even at 4 sometimes the damage is alreday done and you end up with someone elses problems. My idea was to get Alee unhandled and produce her myself with the help of my instructor. I have managed so far but now i'm getting to the tough bit its harder than I ever imagined. I just want to do what is right for her and I want to end up with a well educated well mannered horse to compete at BD and BSJA (hopefully).
I've had an off day and someone offered to help me sell her at the wrong time. TBH if this offer hadn't been made it would be the last thing on my mind.
I have bought her a calmer and plan to introduce a bit more routine. I also have my instructor coming out on Friday next week so i'll see what happens.
I am just feeling a little down with it all at the moment.
Thanks for all your replies.
 
I think that having a youngster can be very difficult, and if you are first time owner of one - and it is a little challenging - you can end up in a world of difficulty.

However, out of the two things you described in your post - one was your fault, the other wasn't - so I wouldn't be too dishartened.

Tricky - on one hand you are going to learn so much from her, on the other it could end up all going horribly wrong. It's a gamble I suppose. On the other hand though, if you've gone out and done in hand showing with her then you can't be doing that badly - talk about putting your horse in a stressy situation, but you obviously coped, and did well in it. It sounds as if she's ready to do a job, and the summer would have been the ideal time to back her. Can you crack on with it now?

I would probably sell, especially if someone was offering me good money. But it depends on what your ambitions are/were for her I suppose.....
 
Thanks AmyMay. You really have summed it all up. I now i've not done too bad as the inhand showing was a huge success. I backed her myself in the summer which went better than expected. I am planning to crack on with her now yesterday was a bad day and I wouldn't have dreamt of selling her had this person not put it in my mind. Gonna have another session with her this afternoon and will let you all know how it goes. Have bought a herbal calmer for her and plan on bringing her in during the day to get her into some sort of routine.
Still feel quite down about it so really hope our session today will lift my spirits a little.
She is a cracking mare and will hopefully my horse of a lifetime. So for now she is staying with me, although I do have this persons number in case she makes me change my mind
tongue.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
Thanks AmyMay. Have bought a herbal calmer for her and plan on bringing her in during the day to get her into some sort of routine.
Still feel quite down about it so really hope our session today will lift my spirits a little.
She is a cracking mare and will hopefully my horse of a lifetime. So for now she is staying with me, although I do have this persons number in case she makes me change my mind
tongue.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

You are welcome. Does she need a calmer??? Sounds like a typical 'teenager' to me......

Think about all the ups and downs you see posted on here by people that have horses that are old enough and uggly enough to know what they should be doing (the horses that is, not the people.....) And give yourself a pat on the back. Even the most established horses can throw a spanner in the works.

Chin up - and don't leave her in the stable for hours on end before you do any work with her.......
 
Personally from what you ahve posted before and your previous descriptions, I would think seriously about selling. I know myself how hard having a youngster is, and I never in a million years thought there would be as many ups and downs as there have been, and my boy has been pretty easy really. Havign a handful of a youngster when as you admit you personally are quite highly strung could end up breaking both or one of you. The other hand everything could go wonderfully, but equally you could buy something that you know you culd go and do what you want with now....ust a thought. Good luck with whatever you decide though
smile.gif
 
Just to update:-

Went up to the yard today all positive with plans to bring her in groom her and take her in the school for some clam inhand work.
Got to her field and she came straight to the gate wanting to come in. Got to the next gate and she reared straight up and galloped back to the field. This happened again she proceeded to trot around her field gate while the other mares were trotting on the other side. Each time I went near her she trotted off tail in air (she did look lovely
tongue.gif
) I didn't get annoyed just kept walking up to her then standing still a slight distance from her. She eventually came to me and walked the 10 min walk back to the yard as if butter wouldn't melt.
I decided not to take her in the school as I don't want her to feel that each time she comes in she has to work. So Igroomed her and did 5 mins of inhand work on the yard then settled her for the night. She was calm and relaxed once on the yard.............but she has come into season and in the year that I have owned her its the first time I have really noticed it, so possible why she is acting up a little!

I don't feel as down as I did yesterday and will try again tomorrow. People have given differeing views on selling / keeping her. Most people that know me well have said keep her. I'm not going to rush this decision and for now she is staying but the thought will remian in the back of my mind.
Thanks everyone for all your kind words and advice. I really appreciate it.
 
Hon, you're doing a fantastic job with her, just look at how good she was over the summer. I think what with coming into season and the weather being very much colder now haven't helped!

You haven't been offered good money for her because she's naughty, you've been offered money because she's a bloody nice horse and because of her boldness and jumping ability, from an advanced event rider looking for an advanced horse. Don't forget that the physio is the one used by the British Team so she should know what she's talking about!
You may have a potential Badminton Horse there hon, but at the end of the day she's yours and who knows...... you might even want to event her yourself!!
 
God Sam you make her sound so special.
She really is jusy my Alee warts, tantrums, seasons an' all!! And I do actually quite like her.
I vaguley remeber you having selling thoughts about Axey on various occasions but you wouldn't sell him for the world now would you? I just need a good day to make me feel like that again.
 
In honesty, I would sell her if you can get the cash.

I can tell you of at least 5 instances I know in the past year where people haven't sold - including my friend who works in the racing yard...an owner was offered £130k for his horse and a week later it broke down...its just sold at the sales for about £8 so there you go...I would go for it!
 
[ QUOTE ]
God Sam you make her sound so special.
She really is jusy my Alee warts, tantrums, seasons an' all!! And I do actually quite like her.
I vaguley remeber you having selling thoughts about Axey on various occasions but you wouldn't sell him for the world now would you? I just need a good day to make me feel like that again.

[/ QUOTE ]

She is special, remember I was there that day in the summer!!!
No I wouldn't sell my Axey now but look how many times in the last year I said I would!
But if that man at that show had made me a serious offer that time I don't know, I mean Axey's not going to go to HOYS with me is he?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top