What would you do..genuine but nervous youngster and owner..

You have my sympathy - I was pretty much where you are now at the beginning of the year. I enlisted help from a new instructor who worked with me rather than against me. She also had a school master I could ride and still occasionally go back to when I am having an issue with something. She also rode my horse and then gradually I rode him more and more each session. I also enlisted a young rider who hacks him out occasionally and had a few lessons on him. Have a look back through my threads on Cam. I felt very strongly that he was the horse for me and I would regret selling him, but it depends how far along that scale you are and also how much help you are prepared/can afford to get. I wasn't looking for a 5 year old when I bought him, but a 7 year old, so from my point of view it was worth me getting the help so that I will end up with a 7 year old who has been trained the way I want him to be. Good luck. :)
 
Taking on a youngster is never going to be a walk in the park & an element of perseverence & commitment is required as no youngster is going to be readymade. I took on a 4 yo last year & boy its been a journey, lots of blood, sweat & tears - I have a fab instructor who has also helped school my Mare & the change is remarkable - I wouldn't be the most confident rider but I stuck at it & with the RIGHT help myself & my mare are a great team... Would you consider getting some help???
 
Is there someone local or at the yard who can do a bit with him for you?

FWIW, I bought a 5yo (nearly 6) last year which had hunted in Ireland but otherwise done nothing at all. He can be very sharp and spooky, is v opinionated with bags of attitude, but is lovely when he understands. What I essentially bought was a 5/6yo that had spent a year or two going in the incorrect way, being allowed to razz around flat out, and very soon he objected to being asked to work correctly.. because it's hard work. I struggled for a while, lost a lot of confidence on the flat and spent quite a while just hacking. Winter last year he started to go through his teenage phase (or what I can only assume was a teenage phase), so not only did with have the "it's hard work I don't want to" attitude, we also had teenage temper tantrums combined with it. The yard staff have been riding him all winter/spring along with me but we weren't really getting anywhere so my YO has been riding him now for a few months and the difference is incredible. He just needed someone stronger, more experienced, more consistent and with a better feel (so although he needed to be told often, he also needed someone who is quicker to recognise him trying and reward/ release him). She's established a lot of the basics that weren't there because we were in a spiral of naughtiness, confusion and misunderstanding. I now have a really super little horse who I have so much fun on, but I did go through a period of wondering if we were suited. Also, I feel this summer he has really grown up. He's 7 now and so much more settled in his brain.
 
horse.love92 said:
Sell the horse , if it doesn't give you confidence now then there it's highly unlikely you wlll improve together in years to come !

I was in your position 1 year ago , horse was 6 years old , spooky , reared , bucked , bolted , no respect for me on the ground either , he took all my confidence !
Finally sold him after he wouldn't load into our trailer and tried to attack every horse around me as well as taking all my confidence I ever had !
Now I have the most lovely 5 year old who gives me so much confidence in every aspect of riding. Only now I am jumping 90cm courses ( somehhing I never thought I could achieve !) . I have more confidence than I ever thought I could with him , this is because we are a good match and trust each other 100% .

You honestly won't regret it , I thought I would but I am happier than I ever thought I could be and now realise how down my previous horse made me feel and how much worry he caused me .

Feel free to message me for a chat :)
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Good to read, (and ThoroughbredStar) some of the other comments (although all very valid also) were making me start to wonder if I should have carried on with mine for a minute , but then I remembered how he made me feel, and the constant fretting and unease!
 
How much dp you do with the horse? Does it need to be lunged? Do you have company to ride out with? And how about sending him off to hunt for a season?
 
Goldenstar said:
Find someone local who you respect to assess him and you and advise, being overhorsed is no fun and it's supposed to be fun but you need experianced eyes on the ground ( and the horse ) to give you advise.
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This.

And I was in your position (despite the fact I used to back yearlings etc) and I ended up selling. Ri even told me she thought I should in the end. When I realised I wasn't nervous on other horses, just my own I knew it was time to cut my losses. There is no shame in it. Every horsecan not suit every person after all :)
 
Sell the horse you have and go buy the horse you need. There is no shame in realising that you are not enjoying the horse; let him go to a rider who will enjoy him.
 
Lots of different opinions and advice thank you so much. It really is appreciated. My sales livery I had planned for him (with someone I know who will ensure a good home) has fallen through. Plus my friend who was interested cannot take him on at mo sooo think the gods are telling me to give it one last try. Need some new people to help me though! Hopefully with the right team and another year until he is 7 we can get somewhere. I do really love him he is such a kind boy I just need to overcome both our confidence issues. I think the NH route might be a worth a try and an experienced rider to do some work with him would be good to prove to me I can survive!
 
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