What would you do...

[Trixie88]

Ok so i need a bit of a rant and some advice! I have had my horse since July, stabled 5 mins drive from my house.Everything was fine until a couple of months ago. Basically 4 people at the yard were bitching about me to the yard owner, basically saying i complain about everything which is true, but so do they. Things they have moaned about to me, they turned around to the yard owner and blamed me! I got quite a serious telling off, which was unexpected as the YO caught me when i got out of my car after work. I was shocked, and apologised then later sent an e-mail explaining things as i felt i needed to stick up for myself. Bearing in mind, she ignored my texts about the farrier, not very professional!

So i know who it was, they cause grief for quite a few people. One woman who is 60 odd and retired, and a right pain in the arse, and a few other people. I got told if it happens again i will be kicked off. Hence why i don't speak to certain people! So all was fine and dandy until this morning.

The farrier was coming to shoe mine, and 3 others horses. I work full time so arranged for YO to bring her in and turn her back out after. I asked one other girl if my horse could go first, she said fine. Didn't see the other owner, and really didn't think it would be a big issue as she is retired, so has all day to be down there.

Well, i get a text from YO saying the owner who is retired didn't know that my horse was being done first, and she wanted her horse done first instead! Which i didn't know, as she didn't ask me. Anyway all has kicked off, with texts from YO about this blimming woman. For some reason the owner of the horse has got it in for me, and has made me so upset and angry, i try to go down the yard when she isn't there!

She is a person who likes to interfere, nosey etc, you always get one! So i have had enough of the hassle, had a really crap year, my cat was killed and my dad lost his job, so stressful times, without all this hassle down the yard where i like to escape from it all!

I am considering moving her, but means i would only see her once a day and it would cost twice as much, or speaking to the owner of teh other horse to see what her problem is.

Some of you might think this is childish, i agree, but when someone is trying to get me kicked of the yard it kind of matters and is important.

Any advice appreciated.

 

[Murphs_Mum]

Why was it a big deal whose horse was shod first? Livery yards can be a nightmare but if someone had an issue with my yard (hypothetical I don't have one anymore!) I would rather speak face to face and clear the air than text/email. Important thing is your horse, you see it more at this yard and have more money to spend on it - I'd be trying to make it wrk and talking to the retired livery to find out what you have done to cause her to have an issue with you.

 

[touchstone]

Oh dear, it sounds like small incidents are being blown up out of all proportion.

Was there a particular reason that you wanted you horse shoeing first as if the yo was bringing in/out I can't see that it makes much difference? Perhaps the older livery had a busy day too and was frustrated by you asking to have your horse done first? To be fair, even if she's retired she may well have a busy life and have to fit things in.

I think rather than ignoring her I'd try to be pleasant and polite and set up some communication with her to make life easier for things like when the farrier is due etc. It's never a good idea to complain too much even if others are if it can be used against you. I'd also ignore any interfering on her part or deal with it calmly and politely and carry on as you wish, (unless she has a valid point.)

If you really can't bear to be around her then I'd look elsewhere, there isn't anything worse than a bad atmosphere on a place.

 

[MerrySherryRider]

There's only one way to survive on a livery yard. Tact and dipolmacy. Don't get drawn in to bitching even when everyone is saying what you think too. When someone makes you annoyed, carry on, sleep on it and only say something if you think its important enough to make a stand over and then do so, face to face when you're feeling calm.
Not talking to other liveries is uncomfortable and YO's don't like the atmosphere being unpleasant, so let the little things go and concentrate on enjoying your time with your horse.
Your yard is handy for you so it'd be a shame to inconvenience yourself by having to move.

 

[BorgRae]

If you can afford to, move yards.

To me, it doesn't sound as though the YO is very professional (sending texts and being involved in hear say and bitching!) and TBH, it doesn't sound a very nice place to be. We pay a lot of hard earned money for our horses and it’s supposed to be fun!!

I'd move if you can.

Good luck, hope everything works out!!

 

[Trixie88]

teh reason why i asked for my horse to be done first is that the YO needed a specific time to bring her in for me, hence why it was easier. If i was there, i really wouldn't have been bothered which way round it was, but i was trying to make someone elses life easier as i was paying for a service, and YO had other jobs to do. I have kept my head down, and been polite, but apparently that hasn't worked, so i really can't win with this woman. I do try and ignore her, and tehn go home and rant about it, not on the yard, that way i know i haven't done anything wrong.

Its frustrating that such a small thing has blown up whilst i'm at work. These things go both ways, i have decided i am going to change farriers to one that comes on a saturday, that way it won't cause all this hassle.

 

[jaquelin]

I think you need to learn to not sweat the small stuff. In your position I would be polite but avoid the other difficult liveries, and recognise that in a livery yard, you will have to compromise and focus on what is important- is your horse well-cared for? Is yard good value for money, has facilities you want and is convenient.
No matter where you go, there will be people that you don't see eye to eye with and one of life's little lessons is learning how to deal with those kind of people.
You are probably not aware of how your raising concerns may come across from what you describe. I would avoid getting labelled as a complainer, and think a bit about how you communicate with your YO. A boss of mine once told me years ago to always be "fair, firm and friendly" and I think that is good advice. Good luck!

 

[Trixie88]

If you can afford to, move yards.

To me, it doesn't sound as though the YO is very professional (sending texts and being involved in hear say and bitching!) and TBH, it doesn't sound a very nice place to be. We pay a lot of hard earned money for our horses and it’s supposed to be fun!!

I'd move if you can.

Good luck, hope everything works out!!

I would love to move, hoping i get a new job down south. It would give me so much pleasure to tell them i am leaving! I have arranged for a different farrier, to avoid the hassle! No, i agree, it isn't professional. You don't text people while they are at work and talk to them face to face!

 

[Trixie88]

I think you need to learn to not sweat the small stuff. In your position I would be polite but avoid the other difficult liveries, and recognise that in a livery yard, you will have to compromise and focus on what is important- is your horse well-cared for? Is yard good value for money, has facilities you want and is convenient.
No matter where you go, there will be people that you don't see eye to eye with and one of life's little lessons is learning how to deal with those kind of people.
You are probably not aware of how your raising concerns may come across from what you describe. I would avoid getting labelled as a complainer, and think a bit about how you communicate with your YO. A boss of mine once told me years ago to always be "fair, firm and friendly" and I think that is good advice. Good luck!

But i'm not complaining to other liveries, thats the point! Yes i go home and complain to my parents, but not other owners. If i have a problem i speak to YO, but it does feel like bullying in some respects. I have kept my head down for 2 months now, and this happens. i have worked on many yards, and never dealt with a situation that was handeled like this, especially over such a small thing, which is why i'm frustrated!

 

[touchstone]

Basically 4 people at the yard were bitching about me to the yard owner, basically saying i complain about everything which is true, but so do they."

You see I interpreted this as you complaining to other owners.

I would still try to start off on a fresh footing with them though and see how it goes, it it doesn't improve then I'd move.

 

[Trixie88]

You see I interpreted this as you complaining to other owners.

I would still try to start off on a fresh footing with them though and see how it goes, it it doesn't improve then I'd move.

oh ok, i was too busy ranting. I have complained about small things, fair play, but havent done it for months now, but they would come to me and complain about things and tell the YO it was the other way around. Tip- don't write these things when you are annoyed

 

[AmyMay]

Good grief. Find a yard where the YO has some intelligence not to get involved in yard politics.

And as for your horse going first because of timing.... If the farrier is coming at 9.00 to shoe 3 horses (say), just have your horse in by 9.00 to await his turn. YO will be aware of what's going on and when horse is ready to turn out again.... Really it's all rather juvenile.

 

[peaceandquiet1]

I appreciate your concerns but as a farrier's OH is it fair to change your farrier because of these politics? Farriers hate being treated as so dispensable!

I hate yard politics and some people you can't get on with no matter what. The YO needs to have great people management skills to make it work, doesn't sound like your does really!

 

[Trixie88]

Good grief. Find a yard where the YO has some intelligence not to get involved in yard politics.

And as for your horse going first because of timing.... If the farrier is coming at 9.00 to shoe 3 horses (say), just have your horse in by 9.00 to await his turn. YO will be aware of what's going on and when horse is ready to turn out again.... Really it's all rather juvenile.

I totally agree, which is why i try and stay out of it, but apparently that doesn't work so i can't win. I paid them to bring her in and turn her out as im at work, so they needed a specified time to have her on the yard for. I cant believe how childish someone can be!

 

[*hic*]

. I cant believe how childish someone can be!

Pot kettle black in my eyes I'm afraid.

 

[AmyMay]

I totally agree, which is why i try and stay out of it, but apparently that doesn't work so i can't win. I paid them to bring her in and turn her out as im at work, so they needed a specified time to have her on the yard for. I cant believe how childish someone can be!

The specific time was for the time for which the appointment was booked.

Common practice on many yards. Farrier arrives at x time to shoe several horses. All horses in by X time. It's not rocket science.

 

[Trixie88]

The specific time was for the time for which the appointment was booked.

Common practice on many yards. Farrier arrives at x time to shoe several horses. All horses in by X time. It's not rocket science.

Im quite offended by this, the yard owner had horse to ride etc so had to make sure she knew when to bring my horse in. I was asked by yard owner if my horse could go first, most of us have different farriers on the yard anyway.

 

[Trixie88]

Pot kettle black in my eyes I'm afraid.

i would like to know why? It doesnt bother me when my horse is done, but to get a text from YO whilst im at WORK is not very professional. I cant do anything about it now, this woman has caused trouble for me before, so i say hi and thats it. Its not me the one who is complaining about it to the yard owner, and asked for advice and some people just don't have anything constructive to say. From now on i refuse to go on any forums, as they just don't seem to be very helpful and can lead to trouble!

 

[AmyMay]

Im quite offended by this, the yard owner had horse to ride etc so had to make sure she knew when to bring my horse in. I was asked by yard owner if my horse could go first, most of us have different farriers on the yard anyway.

What are you offended at?

In your OP you made no mention of YO requesting your horse went first. If that was the case, all she had to do was tell the farrier to do yours first.......

 

[*hic*]

i would like to know why? It doesnt bother me when my horse is done, but to get a text from YO whilst im at WORK is not very professional. I cant do anything about it now, this woman has caused trouble for me before, so i say hi and thats it. Its not me the one who is complaining about it to the yard owner, and asked for advice and some people just don't have anything constructive to say. From now on i refuse to go on any forums, as they just don't seem to be very helpful and can lead to trouble!

Let's just go for one thing: You wanted yours done first, you sorted that out with one of the other two people, it then went wrong and you go on to say that you didn't know the other woman wanted hers done first as she didn't ask you.

Both being equally childish, no?

 

[Trixie88]

:

Let's just go for one thing: You wanted yours done first, you sorted that out with one of the other two people, it then went wrong and you go on to say that you didn't know the other woman wanted hers done first as she didn't ask you.

Both being equally childish, no?

I beg to differ as i dont see the other owner as i am down the yard at 5:30 in the morning and 5:30 at night, so couldnt see her to ask her anyway. And if she had of asked me i would have said thats fine for hers to go first and informed the yard owner, and not made a blimming big deal out of it like she has!

 

[Marydoll]

It sounds like theres so much animosity among you all that communication is at rock bottom, causing more problems.
You obviously dont like this other livery, it comes across clearly in your post.
I do think from your post, you dont sound happy at this yard anyway.
It sounds like its convenient to your home, and thats about it.
Speak to your yo and ask if you can have a yard meeting to address the niggles and issues that are ongoing, discuss them like adults, deal with them and move on. You seem to imply because this womans retired she should work around you, why ???? What makes her daily life less important than yours ?just because shes retired doesnt mean she has no life.
If the yo was bringing your horse in for the farrier and she wanted it done first, the issue was then between the yo and other livery who wanted hers done, not really anything to do with you. Are you sure youre not starting to look for things to get at this woman because you dont like her ?

 

[Lu1]

It maybe that your YO overreacted and took it out on you because she herself was frustrated and had had a bad day, no excuse, but people do act out of character. Running a yard though, she should know better than to act on hearsay, if its an issue, then it should be discussed and resolved, that would be more professional...

I would speak to your YO and try and sort things out if the yard is handy and you want to stay. Just explain what happened and ask that next time she "hears" something, that you discuss it, rather than she assumes thats what you have been saying....

IMO, a YO is a bit like a manager at work...if your manager doesnt like you/threatens you about your job, unless you can sort it out and keep on the right side of them, then its probably time to move on...

good luck x

 

[fidleyspromise]

:

I beg to differ as i dont see the other owner as i am down the yard at 5:30 in the morning and 5:30 at night, so couldnt see her to ask her anyway. And if she had of asked me i would have said thats fine for hers to go first and informed the yard owner, and not made a blimming big deal out of it like she has!

If you haven't been able to see her to ask her, then how could she see you to ask you?

It sounds like miscummunication from both of you to be honest. Even a text to owner you never see, "do you mind if my horse goes first due to xyz reason?"

Or, you tell YO to bring horse in for 9, which is when appointment is for. YO can then go on with her duties and once horse is finished, she can throw him back out.


I'm sorry you don't feel your not getting helpful information on the forums, but TBH, people are just being honest in what they're seeing. Unfortunately opinions are going to differ and the next thread you post, everyone may well agree with you.

 

[LaurenM]

Life is short. Move yards. Horses are a hobby after all.

 

[Polotash]

Move yards. It sounds like the yard owner isn't very professional, she had been given responsibility (and payment) for bringing your horse in and out so she should have sorted it with the other lady direct, without need to involve you - i.e. whoever could go and do something else for an hour and come back should have gone second... agreed texts are unecessary, you had paid for a service and gone to work, end of.

 

[BonneMaman]

What are you offended at?

In your OP you made no mention of YO requesting your horse went first. If that was the case, all she had to do was tell the farrier to do yours first.......

Amymay you really should read your emails before acting all inocent! Calling OP Juvanile and then saying its not rocket science is very obviously uncalled for. The poor girl was only asking for advice - why do some people on here have to act all holier than thou all the time! We have all said something we later regret! Oh sorry perhaps you have not - I bow to your perfectness.

OP - just let it go - if your YO wants to get her knickers in a twist about the farrier then let her - don't you just have a stable that she can throw the horse into while waiting for farrier? As for the gossiping - next time they try to gossip tell them in no uncertain words that it was behaviour like that that got you in the ***** last time! Play them at their own game and see how they like it - just try not to take it personally.

Bitching on yards happens everywhere - sorry but true fact - so wherever you move to it will happen again - that is unless you have your own place!

Best of luck.

 

[Wagtail]

I'm sorry, but yes this does all sound very petty. Thank goodness my liveries don't act like this. Also what is the YO doing telling you off? You are a customer FGS! If she doesn't want moaners on her yard she should just give notice. Sounds like she is as bad as the liveries.

My advice OP is to stop moaning and be more up front about what is bothering you. If you have something to complain about, go to the YO. If the yard suits you then don't complain behind the YO's back (you said in your OP that you DO moan). Keep away from the trouble makers and act like the adult you are. Good luck!

 

[*hic*]

:

I beg to differ as i dont see the other owner as i am down the yard at 5:30 in the morning and 5:30 at night, so couldnt see her to ask her anyway. And if she had of asked me i would have said thats fine for hers to go first and informed the yard owner, and not made a blimming big deal out of it like she has!

So when could she have seen you to ask you? As for making a big deal out of it you are the one who saw fit to air this petty squabble on a public forum. Obviously you're not the first and sadly you won't be the last but really it is sounding extremely childish.

ATEOTD if you are not happy, move yards.

 

[Honey08]

OP it does sound a little bit like you are falling out with people very easily and taking offense very quickly. First of all you mentioned four people that had got you in trouble by complaining about you, then the yard owner who you said wasn't very professional, then the retired owner who has got it in for you, then the forums... All of these people that have managed to be annoying/upsetting towards you...

I think that it sounds like a lot more honest and open communication is called for - all round... Perhaps a message board where you can leave notes for each other re farrier times etc. Could you go to the yard at the weekend, and take a box of chocs to share, and get everyone to sit down and talk it through? Say you feel upset and that you feel like you've upset people, and that you'd like to clear the air as its not nice for everyone.

I don't understand why its unprofessional to text you at work - I'd always text someone at work rather than ring and disturb them..

I agree that finding a farrier that works weekends would be better. Thankfully our farrier does. If they don't work weekends and its causing problems for their clients then they are going to lose them..