What would you do??!!!!

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Ilovefoals

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I'm in a right dilemma!

I'm selling my mare as she's too much for me. I've had an offer on her which I'll probably accept so that's fine.

The issue is that she has caused to to lose my confidence and I'm worried that when it comes to backing my youngster next year, I'll be too frightened to get on. I've had an offer from a friend to buy this youngster which I'm tempted to take for 2 reasons. The first being what I've said about confidence, the second being I could do with the money to put towards a new, confidence giving horse.

Then I think about how well I know her, how much of a dude she is and how I'd miss her if she went. I don't necessarily need to sell her to buy another. I can get money from the bank if need be and I keep telling myself that if I find something nice just now to get my confidence back, there's no reason why I should be scared to get on her once she's broken.

My husband says sell her so I wont be pushed for time next year when she's at the backing stage and I have another horse to ride. My friend says keep her as she has heaps of potential and it would be a shame to let her go for a "what if".

What would you do?

Here's the youngster in question. She's a yearling in this pic. 2 next month so a way off from doing anything serious.
DSCF3079.jpg
 
I would buy a confidence giving type and see how you feel in a year. You might feel a whole lot better by then and find yourself regretting selling your youngster. You could leave her another two years to back which is a long way off and a lot can change in that amount of time.
 
If your confidence has been dented then I'd say sell and buy a confidence giver.

It isn't just the initial getting on, you need to be relatively confident to deal with the issues that might arise with youngsters.

However, if you feel that you'd like to keep her why not loan a horse for a year or two until she is ready to start and see how you feel then?

As for the 'potential' comments, until you are actually riding away and competing then you aren't going to know what potential she has, all horses have potential for 'something' at her age. :)
 
You could loan a nice hore for a year or more, then start your youngster on long reins and in hand, spend a good six months on handling so that you get him ready to back, you can send him away to back if you still feel nervy. To be honest it is impossible to be certain whether a youngster will be quiet or otherwise when backed and ridden away.
 
An old, very experienced, breeder once said to me 'If you get a decent offer for a horse, sell it. It could break a leg tomorrow' and that is the sensible answer, although I do understand wanting to ride a horse that you have bred and produced yourself
 
I wouldn't make the decision yet. Wait until your other horse has been gone for a while, either loan or buy a confidence giver, have some fun with it, THEN see how you feel about your baby. You have got loads of time before you need to make a decision about her and a lot could change regarding your confidence.
 
Tough one isn't it. Even if you haven't lost confidence, it's not just the backing, it's the green horse for 2 or 3 years. Obviously I'm not talking dramatically here. It's just that sometimes in our lives it's nice to get on trustworthy do anything for you types. Having the eventual well schooled do anything type is a long time in the making and if something happens along the way, both of you lose confidence.

I bring on my own and used to turn them over to someone else to jump as I don't feel I'm good enough. I'm good at babies and bringing them on, not so much in the ring. But I can honestly say I'd love a schoolmaster that makes me look good and that will give me good days out doing average competitions. I love bringing on my babies but it's a constant always making sure you do right in bringing them along.

So next year you will back ect but you have a good 3 years in finding out exactly what you have and hoping it's exactly what you wanted and to be a somewhat steady neddy. Not trying to put you off. Just trying to show the bigger picture. You could send her away for backing and starting and still have the years of work ahead to keep her right.

If you don't really want to sell then don't. Just don't be disappointed if she isn't your perfect horse. I see a lot of that with people and their young horses. I'm not fussy and never any expectations of HOW I THINK my young horses should be and or progress. So they usually end up just what I wanted.

Terri
 
Thanks for your replies. I'm not intending to back her myself. I've never done it before so she'd go to someone reputable for that. I've had youngsters before and know how to ride a green baby, it's just this mare I'm selling has really sapped my confidence. I feel like at the moment if I had to get on a youngster, I'd be useless but perhaps if I can get my nerve back, I'd be fine. I just don't want to make a mistake. Don't want to see my friend riding her in 2 or 3yrs time and me be thinking, oh why did I sell her? But I know a lot could go wrong in that time too. Argh!!!
 
I agree with the people who have said why not buy/loan a confidence giving horse for a while before you make a decision about your youngster. As someone who had seriously dented confidence from my last horse I have had my super loan horse for 3 months and my confidence is coming back in leaps and bounds. I can't say I'll ever be ready to have a youngster but then I wasn't before I lost my confidence! I would say take your time to decide there is no rush :)
 
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