what would you do

S

summertoots

Well-Known Member
Joined
10 February 2007
Messages
598
Visit site
if you were friends with someone who you knew was trying to ride beyond there capabilities and therefor putting themself, (as well as the cracking little horse they have got a free ride on) at risk, would you say to them they are not up to doing what the are trying to do.
Also if you though the way the horse was being ridden was cruel, even if unintentional, would you also tell said "friend" your thoughts on that as well.
Im not making myself clear here. Would you be blunt, say you are not as good as you think you are and your harming the horse as well as risking a accident.
or would you be more subtle say there is no rush to do things and hope they come to there sences???
 
this is a hard one...might be worth pretending you know of someone who is having problems making sure you change a few things and see what they say about it..might make them think a little more...
also who owns this pony...it should be them really reviewing it and judging...I do not think there is much you could do apart from being honest and telling her straight or just leaving it.
 
If I truly believed someone was in grave danger in riding a certain horse then yes I would categorically say something. I could never live with this on my conscience if anything dreadful were to happen.

However if this is just brought on by envy, jealousy, or just not liking the way the person rides, then no I wouldn't say anything - it's their horse, their choice as to how they ride it.

If they are jabbing the mouth or overusing the whip then again I would have to say something....but subtley and using helpful words rather than being mean.

I'm guessing this is a young person? Well lots of young people ride horses that are slightly beyond their capabilities and experience....that's how young people learn! Being kept on a riding school plod-along is not the way to gain further experience, in my opinion.

Sometimes risks are taken and necessary for the advancement of riding experience - I know fine well that when I was young and first got my competition ponies we were a bit like the blind leading the blind. We had some minor run-ins, a couple of minor accidents....that's just the way of horse-riding.
 
Tricky one. I personally wouldnt be able to keep my mouth shut- in fact speaking from experience I didnt. How good of a friend is this person, because it put some real distance between my friend, when I was really blunt and told her she had ruined a good grade B in the space of 6monthes. I blamed it on the drink and of course my words did nothing but spur her on to further bugger what was a very decent little horse up- it doesnt jump the Int at riding club shows now, yet used to skip around the 1.20m tracks, which is saddening. Thing is if you speak out your friend will feel she has a point to prove, perhaps you should let her hear it from someone she respects as a pro in the sport, does she have an instructor?
 
In no way is this envy I can promise you that.
I dont think the horse is causing the danger, I think this person thinks she can ride better than she actualy can. Not bitching or trying to be cruel, stating a fact.
Another friend is riding at a certain level, and doing so very well, however this person I am worried about is so scared at being left behind she is trying to run before she can walk.
It's not her horse, it belongs to lovely person who doesnt have the knowledge herself to realise that this can all go very wrong.
I am not alone in my feelings. And if this horse was hers I would sugest a change of bit and probably leave her to make her own mistakes.
But it is not her horse and she is hurting it, abusing it's honesty and talent, and decreasing it's value.
Yes falling of has always been the best way to work out how to stick on, and no we cant all ride RS plods, but we should ride within our capabilities and take little steps forward to improve, not giant whacking steps that cause harm to the horses we are on, they are living creatures not tools for our use we must respect there willingness and talent not abuse it.
 
Oh yes we are close. Lets just say we cant afford a fall out, and nor do we want one. I just want her to take a step back and see what is realy going on here.
I know if she saw another person ride the way she does she would rip them to pieces.
She is very insecure, everything is a compitition to her, even when we all school together she goes mental if one of our horses works better than hers.
She has been told by a pro, her answer was he had no idea as he had never rode the horse, and he spoke a load of c*"p. I too have lessons of this pro, as do the others who are also worried, believe me he worked me out after three laps of the School in trot.
 
[ QUOTE ]
Oh yes we are close. Lets just say we cant afford a fall out, and nor do we want one. I just want her to take a step back and see what is realy going on here.
I know if she saw another person ride the way she does she would rip them to pieces.
She is very insecure, everything is a compitition to her, even when we all school together she goes mental if one of our horses works better than hers.
She has been told by a pro, her answer was he had no idea as he had never rode the horse, and he spoke a load of c*"p. I too have lessons of this pro, as do the others who are also worried, believe me he worked me out after three laps of the School in trot.

[/ QUOTE ]
What about taking some videos of your friend riding, and see how she reacts when you play them back to her?
 
i always accept constructive criticism, because i always want to better myself. however i wouldn't want to hear that you think the way i ride is rubbish, or that if i carry on riding like that the horse will end up dangerous; it would affect my confidence big time and i always want to treat people the way i like to be treated. why don't you suggest to her if she wants to ride beyond her capabilities, for her to get lessons? perhaps share lessons? then at least she can ride under regular instruction xx
 
But she doesnt realise she is riding beyond her capabilities. So how do I say, without sounding like a right cow, that I think she needs to take a step back and get some lessons, for both her and the horses sake.
I need to point out again, I do not in any way feel any envy towards her. She is a close friend, I am not alone in my worries, and I am not exagerating.
Let me ask this would you say some one who can not pass a stage two riding exam were up to riding a BE pre novice course?
 
k maybe drops hints like 'i think the horse (is it a he or a she?) could do with some flatwork training, before jumping, why don't you get some lessons first? i know of a great trainer..........' and perhaps suggest sharing some lessons. i don't think someone who can't pass a stage 2 should be doing pre novice, however it is stage 3 that you are required to jump. its hard to say without seeing her ride. perhaps ask her if it is ok to videotape her riding? (she can do it to you so it doesn't look suspicious!) maybe when she shes herself ride she'll change her mind! xxx
 
Oh lordy I just dont know what to do. I cant sleep with worry, just dont want to be the one who has to scrape her off a cross country course. If I didnt care I would keep my trap shut, but if anything were to go wrong (and please dont let it) I cant turn to her parents and say I didnt see it comming.
As for sharing a lesson, well she wont do that, will only ever have private lessons.
And we have shown her pictures, nobody ever around to video her as we all tend to be on our own horses.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top