What would you do?

[HorseMad91]

I'm not really sure if I want advice or just to get this off my chest probably both. A year ago I posted about having to bring a pony home that I put out on loan due to him not being cared for properly and the hell of a time and abuse we had trying to get him back off the loaner. For him to come home I had to put my daughter's other pony out on loan to friends not far away so I had space to bring the other pony home and get his health sorted. My problem now is the pony that came home is all healthy and alot happier but my daughters finding him too forward going and she broke down in tears this morning saying she loves the pony but he's too forward for her and she can't ride him off lead rein and wants her other pony home. Now I'm completely stuck with what to do. Do I risk putting the pony back out on loan to an older child and bring the other pony home or do I persevere. The family who currently have the other pony on loan are truly lovely and I don't want to upset anyone. I'm just really stuck on where to go from here and what to do.

 

[Goldenstar]

Could you sell the more forward pony .

 

[HorseMad91]

I'd be really reluctant to sell him he’s had a really terrible past before coming to us, he's such a sweet lovely pony she just doesn't like how forward he is

 

[BSL]

Maybe lessons together, to build confidence. ??

 

[HorseMad91]

Yeah possibly. My daughters only 6, she'll happily ride my Welsh section C but with the pony she has at home she so wants to ride off lead rein but she can't hold him if I'm not next to her. I'm so torn on what is best for everyone and the ponies

 

[Pearlsasinger]

Is the current rider of the other pony ready to step up a gear? Could you swap?

 

[HorseMad91]

Unfortunately not. if not that would of been perfect

 

[Fiona]

Oh dear. I remember you getting him back, and your wee girl was getting on well with him at the start...

Have you tried lessons, a calmer for the pony, or her riding in a smaller area so pony can't build up too much speed? How 'too forward ' is he exactly?

Fiona

 

[Peter7917]

Your daughter is most important.

I would be loaning out the current pony and bringing the other home.

 

[rowan666]

Oh what a shame, I'm sorry I don't have anything usefull to say because it's so complicated when kids are involved (I've been there before and still am, my daughter's great with her pony but I'm still not convinced he's suitable long term) i just wanted to say I hope you find a suitable solution because I remember your previous thread and really felt for you

 

[Peregrine Falcon]

Don't let your daughter suffer a loss of confidence, it's a fragile thing. I'd be getting the more suitable pony back, it is yours at the end of the day and finding a more suitable rider for the more forward pony.

 

[FfionWinnie]

I would get the pony obediently lunging to voice commands and do lots of work with her on the lunge to get her more able to ride him. Try it for a month and see how you go.

 

[HorseMad91]

Oh dear. I remember you getting him back, and your wee girl was getting on well with him at the start...

Have you tried lessons, a calmer for the pony, or her riding in a smaller area so pony can't build up too much speed? How 'too forward ' is he exactly?

Fiona

He just wants to get on with his job and with my daughter only being a novice she gets bounced around.

 

[HorseMad91]

Oh what a shame, I'm sorry I don't have anything usefull to say because it's so complicated when kids are involved (I've been there before and still am, my daughter's great with her pony but I'm still not convinced he's suitable long term) i just wanted to say I hope you find a suitable solution because I remember your previous thread and really felt for you

Thank you I just feel so torn, I know I did what was right at the time as I couldn't leave the pony where he was not being cared for properly, but I want my daughter to enjoy her riding.

 

[HorseMad91]

Thank you everyone it's so difficult I want what's best for the ponies and my daughter

 

[Goldenstar]

Put your daughter first .
Can you find a winter turnout for the pony somewhere nearby .

 

[HorseMad91]

Put your daughter first .
Can you find a winter turnout for the pony somewhere nearby .

Places like that are quite difficult to come by round here, I think if I bought the other pony home I'd have to put current pony out on loan again

 

[rowan666]

Would it possible to get a proffesional in to work on the pony and get him more suitable for your daughter? Easier said than some sometimes I know but maybe worth a try?

 

[ossy]

I may not know the full storey here so I apologise if this may sound out of line, it's not meant to but meant to just give you something else to think about. If you can't keep two ponies why do you have two? If current loaner of other pony gave up the loan what would you do with the two then? Having horses/ponies on loan means you have to be prepared for them to be returned at some point and if you can't accommodate that then you may be a bit stuck. Is there a reason you can't have both ponies on same yard? Could you get the other pony back and get a sharer/loaner for current pony staying at current yard?

If your child is crying for the other pony I really think you need to listen to her or she could give up completely.

I do totally respect you though for getting this pony back and wanting to stand by him not everyone in the horse world is like that.

 

[mums the groom]

I feel your pain in a similar situation with my daughter its an on going struggle, my daughter lost her confidence on her pony over a year ago including the tears tantrums but also wouldn't sell the pony. so with lots of lunging done by me we have agreed that he gets lunged one day the next day she rides for 30 mins in walk and trot and does 11 warm up exercises and we have an instructor for up to an hour once a week all other time at the yard is just grooming and being with the pony. Slowly her confidence is coming back and with constant work and bonding with the pony the pony knows he wont be worked hard when shes on him and just gets on with it. If you can get her through the winter with bonding time you will turn the corner with the pony just don't force it and as everyone told me forget how well she could ride before it will come back, we had to go back to lead rein and me running round the arena like an asthmatic pit pony now I can just stand in the middle ..

 

[applecart14]

I'd be really reluctant to sell him he’s had a really terrible past before coming to us, he's such a sweet lovely pony she just doesn't like how forward he is

Yes but you can't tar everyone with the same brush and he may find a super home where he will be cherished and much loved.

 

[JulesRules]

I guess the other consideration is which pony is a better long term option for your daughter?

If the current pony is likely to do her for longer I would probably put in the effort to make him work now and leave the original pony on loan.

 

[mytwofriends]

The majority of horse owners are decent and not likely to mistreat a pony. If I were you, I'd sell the forward one and get your daughter's beloved pony back.

He'll most likely go to an appropriate and loving new home, and your daughter will be able to have fun, and regain her confidence, with her trusted pal.

 

[ozpoz]

I'd spend the time on teaching him to dink down his paces. Work him on the lunge and in hand and do lead rein with him until child, pony and you are happy.
Don't risk riding off lead until the pony really understands what is wanted of him and always lunge him before she gets on. Confidence in children is easily lost, and no riding session should be fearful. I'd keep the child on the ground until she knows the pony will go sweetly for her. And if after all your input you feel he can't do the job, then you should find an older child who will enjoy him.

 

[HorseMad91]

I may not know the full storey here so I apologise if this may sound out of line, it's not meant to but meant to just give you something else to think about. If you can't keep two ponies why do you have two? If current loaner of other pony gave up the loan what would you do with the two then? Having horses/ponies on loan means you have to be prepared for them to be returned at some point and if you can't accommodate that then you may be a bit stuck. Is there a reason you can't have both ponies on same yard? Could you get the other pony back and get a sharer/loaner for current pony staying at current yard?

If your child is crying for the other pony I really think you need to listen to her or she could give up completely.

I do totally respect you though for getting this pony back and wanting to stand by him not everyone in the horse world is like that.

hiya no offence taken it's a fair point. If the other pony had to come back then i'd have to find the money for them to be on livery where my current 4 horses are and if it really was an emergency i have a friend that could take one for a few weeks until i got myself sorted. That's why i really need to be 100% in what I'm going to do and if possibly i sell the more forward pony.

 

[HorseMad91]

I feel your pain in a similar situation with my daughter its an on going struggle, my daughter lost her confidence on her pony over a year ago including the tears tantrums but also wouldn't sell the pony. so with lots of lunging done by me we have agreed that he gets lunged one day the next day she rides for 30 mins in walk and trot and does 11 warm up exercises and we have an instructor for up to an hour once a week all other time at the yard is just grooming and being with the pony. Slowly her confidence is coming back and with constant work and bonding with the pony the pony knows he wont be worked hard when shes on him and just gets on with it. If you can get her through the winter with bonding time you will turn the corner with the pony just don't force it and as everyone told me forget how well she could ride before it will come back, we had to go back to lead rein and me running round the arena like an asthmatic pit pony now I can just stand in the middle ..

hiya It's so hard when it comes to kids isn't it and i'm glad your daughters got her confidence back. i wouldn't say my daughters lost her confidence as such she just doesn't enjoy riding him. He's taller then her other pony and has a very quick stride that she's not getting on with, she's loves riding my section C who has quite a long stride so she can do raising trot with no problems. My daughters said again this morning she loves her current pony but she's happy for him to go live with someone else so she can have the other pony back which at 6 years old I'm proud of her for but i need to be certain it's the right decision.

 

[Lizzie66]

Are you in Pony Club or if not do you know anyone who is ? If your pony is nice and safe just more of a second pony than first then you could try speaking to the Pony Club DC and see if anyone is looking for one on loan. If it is going locally through Pony Club then you will see it out and about and speaking form experience most PC homes are either clued up and know what they are doing in respect of horse care or are wanting to learn and try to do things right, either way they normally make good homes. Good ponies quite frequently get passed from one child to another without ever changing ownership within PC, especially where the pony is waiting to be grown into by one child having been outgrown by another.

 

[Fiona]

Are you in Pony Club or if not do you know anyone who is ? If your pony is nice and safe just more of a second pony than first then you could try speaking to the Pony Club DC and see if anyone is looking for one on loan. If it is going locally through Pony Club then you will see it out and about and speaking form experience most PC homes are either clued up and know what they are doing in respect of horse care or are wanting to learn and try to do things right, either way they normally make good homes. Good ponies quite frequently get passed from one child to another without ever changing ownership within PC, especially where the pony is waiting to be grown into by one child having been outgrown by another.

Totally agree with this..

We had a pony who was slightly too spooky to make the transition from LR to FR, so through pony club I've found a lovely family to have him over the winter, when hopefully my DS will be ready for him...

Fiona

 

[HorseMad91]

Are you in Pony Club or if not do you know anyone who is ? If your pony is nice and safe just more of a second pony than first then you could try speaking to the Pony Club DC and see if anyone is looking for one on loan. If it is going locally through Pony Club then you will see it out and about and speaking form experience most PC homes are either clued up and know what they are doing in respect of horse care or are wanting to learn and try to do things right, either way they normally make good homes. Good ponies quite frequently get passed from one child to another without ever changing ownership within PC, especially where the pony is waiting to be grown into by one child having been outgrown by another.

Thank you ladies this is a brilliant idea!! I never even thought about the pony club he would definitely be a great second pony he's just slightly too speed for first ridden. I'm not a member of the pony club that's daughters aim for next year but I'll see if any friends are. I'd definitely feel better with a clued up home as i think that's where it went wrong when he was out on loan before which maybe i should of picked up on sooner but you live and learn. The mum made out she was very experienced and kids would be having regular lessons etc and this was very far from the case.

 

[poiuytrewq]

Your daughter is most important.

I would be loaning out the current pony and bringing the other home.

I've not read all replies but I'd agree here. I tried to persevere with a difficult pony years ago for my daughter who kept saying it was fine (but I suspected really she was just saying what I wanted to hear)
It wasn't fine and by the time she admitted she was scared stiff her confidence was a bit shredded.
If your little girl has said he's too much for her is absolutely listen straight away. Just because the loan didn't work first time doesn't mean it will go wrong sgain. Can you maybe stipulate he has to stay on the yard or very locally?