What would your horse say if it could talk

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scrappydoo1

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What would your horse say if it could talk
My 3 year old sports horse is full of attitude and would say SHE WAS BORN READY
 
Roscoe "come close... come closer.. look I am sweet just lean forward thats right nice cuddle... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand BITE!! screw you... you fell for it again... hahahah" hes a little meany...!

Sul: "put the jump up.. put the jump up... higher... higher!!! jeez mom get some guts!"
 
"If you're not going to feed me, go away. I can't be bothered."

Sometimes it's "Please, please, please, pleeeeeease feed me - look, this is my cutest face, look at my fluffy little ears!"

Yesterday it would have been "weeeeeeeeeee trot faster, trot faster, OOOH DEER let's bounce like a deer, trotty trotty bouncy bouncy go go go!"
(She's currently high as a kite :rolleyes: )

I like to guess what she's thinking, anyway, rather than actually being told :D
 
The biggest Fuzzy would greet me in the evening with

" So, human been, why the bleeping hell have you left me here with the little fuzzy all day when I could have been mowing that next paddock. I'm in control y'know dear gel, I can manage my time effectively & keep my weight manageable"
<I snigger into my hand>
Biggest Fuzzy: "Ha, did I hear you mutter something in response, human been? Its easy for you to say, but I KNOW I wouldnt be this weight if I was allowed to manage myself. Indeed, I am only slightly well covered, it must be your eyes that are not right - I have big bones m'dear "
<continues>
" Now, where is that tiny offering you give me? Bring back winter <stamps foot hard on concrete> as I prefer 2 large buckets a day if you dont mind, not the humanbeen cereal sized snack you give me now :mad:"
 
My mare throws her feed bucket over the stable door so that is pretty self explanatory! She has taught my gelding to pick rugs up and throw them on the floor so that's them both saying they're bored!

Normally it's "let us out mum". They're only normally in for 40 mins each day but you'd think they lived in their stables the way they both go on!
 
Well the other day when my little mare was chasing my friend and her carrot round the field I am pretty certain she was saying 'just give me the carrot and I will stop chasing you you muppet'
 
"Woah! Where did all these other horses come from? I thought there was only one other one in the whole wide world until yesterday and that suited me fine, cos I could bully him..."

"....hey-hey! Things are looking up! Nice brunette in the next door stable. She fancies me. I know it - who wouldn't? I'm soooo handsome. See? She's fluttering her eyelashes..."

"Ohhh....grass! Haven't seen that for a while! What's that weight on the end of the rope? Who cares? Grass - mmmmm."

"I am in COB heaven - a brunette AND a grey; yeehaw! (Shan't bother with those two whipper-snappers in the next field. Puny teenagers, they don't stand a chance next to this prime specimen). Hey - girrrrls! Look at the feathers on this boy!"

"Bugger. Have a new field mate. Old. OK, tall, dark, handsome, distinguished, yadda, yadda, yadda. But old. And a bloke. Oops - he's move a few feet - I'd better stick close by his side in case he, er, falls over. Don't leeaaavveee meeeee."

"Foot man. Boring."

" Oi! Who bit my bum?! Bloody Shetlands! And in front of that cute brunette. Oh, the shame".

"Oh.That guy over there is a stallion. ****. Can I go home now?"
 
I am going to find out tomorrow as a horse communicator is going to speak to my pony. Im quite excited although as I have not done this before Im nervous as well!
 
'Food or DIE'
'I know it's not scary I just want you out of my saddle!'
'Stop. Turn around. Shut the gate. Walk away. Far far away.'
'Yes...yes...yes...yes...AND NO. Hahahaha every time'
'Mum...has this polo been in your mouth?'
 
Errrrrrrrrrr????????:confused::confused::confused:

Interupted by numerous

ARGH!!!!!!!:eek::eek::eek::eek:

and

la la la la la la la la la la la

and occasionally:

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and gayyyyyy...."
 
On a Saturday or Sunday, "What bloody time do you call this?"

Generally - "B*gger off - I can't be bothered."
 
well come on then I'm ready, you should be. (as he prats around while I try to tighten girth/pull on gloves/get on!)

pleeeeeaaaase take this muzzle off me.

hello!!!! So nice to see you!!! What have you got for me then? I know there's something in your pocket. (when anyone walks into his field)

Ha ha ha you didn't expect me to so THAT did you? (when he drops his shoulder and tips me onto the ground)

hello! who are you? Why are you cowering, I just want to say hello! (to dogs when we are hacking)

Ahhh p*** off I'm not scared of you! ( to passing dangerous drivers)
 
Woodykat said:
Errrrrrrrrrr????????:confused::confused::confused:

Interupted by numerous

ARGH!!!!!!!:eek::eek::eek::eek:

and

la la la la la la la la la la la

and occasionally:

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and gayyyyyy...."
Click to expand...

Funny, my horse says this too!

Also

".........hmmm? huh?..........."

"you want me to WHAT???? errrr, cos WHY?"
 
Ron would either say "Meh... whatever...." or (if jumps were in evidence) "can I jump it? Pleeeeeaaase? really.... awesome!!!!"

Tom would say "aren't I your best friend in the whole world, you're mine. I'm so handsome, you couldn't possibly not be my friend... Do you have food?!"
 
The little lady - If you think for one moment that I'm going to come running over there to greet you, just to be ridden without the merest hint of a snack or food afterwards you've got another thing coming!

The big girly - I'm not going back on box rest - i'm not going back on box rest - i'm not going back on box rest and you caaaant make meeee!

Yearling - hello ladeee - apple slices? pockets - no, legs - no, hair - no, oh you are not going to try and pick my feet up again - aaaaargh scary leaf, scary leaf!
 
baby would say "ok ok ok where the feck is the head collar my men are waiting - excuse me hello im waiting " Whilst tip toeing in excitement
murph would look wide eyed ( beautiful eyes) and stand biting the headcollar syaing " errrrr what you doing what you doing" and looking totally confused - lol say to baby "Put your noddle in there" she shoves nose in head collar and pings lol
 
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