lorenababbit
Well-Known Member
Showjumper. a few months ago i started a similar thread re eventers but now i have become one of the 'others' i have observed that to be a professional showjumper you need the following;
1. a good surname, Whittaker, Skelton, Broome, Smith, Beerbaum all good start.
2. Rich owner, that chances are you are having an affair with.
3. shapely girl groom who is in love with you or gay male groom who loves himself so much even your screaming tantrums cant dent his belief that you are lucky to have him
4. Extremely posh lorry with two (at least) pop outs to keep the official partner and aforementioned groom separate.
5. washing machine and dish washer in said lorry to make sure no eventer forgets where the money in horse sports is.
6 a yorkshire accent
7 if you are female long (bleached) blonde hair and no hair net.
8. if you are male, spots or scowl depending on age (sometimes both).
9. a special showbag satchl type for aforementioned groom tocarry everywhere containing ten (at least) bits yu wont need, your gloves, whip, spurs, hat if on continent and dont need to wear it until actually jumping, rugs, brushes, towel horse treats, start list, kitchen sink.....
10. a trainer, pref old and gnared with surmane and accent as above or faling that german.
1. a good surname, Whittaker, Skelton, Broome, Smith, Beerbaum all good start.
2. Rich owner, that chances are you are having an affair with.
3. shapely girl groom who is in love with you or gay male groom who loves himself so much even your screaming tantrums cant dent his belief that you are lucky to have him
4. Extremely posh lorry with two (at least) pop outs to keep the official partner and aforementioned groom separate.
5. washing machine and dish washer in said lorry to make sure no eventer forgets where the money in horse sports is.
6 a yorkshire accent
7 if you are female long (bleached) blonde hair and no hair net.
8. if you are male, spots or scowl depending on age (sometimes both).
9. a special showbag satchl type for aforementioned groom tocarry everywhere containing ten (at least) bits yu wont need, your gloves, whip, spurs, hat if on continent and dont need to wear it until actually jumping, rugs, brushes, towel horse treats, start list, kitchen sink.....
10. a trainer, pref old and gnared with surmane and accent as above or faling that german.
