What's the Funniest comment you've ever had from a judge?

Not a great test but both the horse and rider look like they are smiling...
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When taking my old NF gelding into a Handsomest gelding competition the judge approached me and said 'you do realise this is handsomest gelding don't you - prettiest mare is in that ring' to which I politely answered 'no he's a gelding' cue her insisting he was a mare, me insisting he wasn't until it was eventually settled by her leaning down and checking out his man bits!! He came first which I think may well have been an apology!!

Also had a 'both horse and rider a little noisy' comment on my first test on my mum's fjord which made me chuckle. He was neighing the whole way round and I was frantically clicking to try and keep the fat git moving!
 
In my first ever WH class I was riding this big roan maxi cob, who was in need of clipping and had a hogged mane with his forelock left on, his tack was scruffy as heck and he hadn't got a noseband as full size was too small. He was a riding school horse so I couldn't do much apart from make sure his numnah wasn't bright pink and clean him up. I also didn't have a tweed and had to ride in sj kit.

I'd had some problems with jumping him too, he loves jumping and is honest as the day is long but lacks any talent. In our practise the day before he came into a spread, couldn't work it out and stopped then picked his way through one foot at a time leaving it up - careful was not the word!!! I was as embarrassed as could be.

So I wasn't looking forward to the class and nearly withdrew.

When we went into the ring the judge said, crickey he's a big boy........ what a big lad.......... he is big isn't he?? And that was about it.

Determined not to be embarrassed I kicked him round the jumping at warp speed and we went clear.

The judge said "well that looked fun, looked like you both really enjoyed that"

During the whole class all the judge said to us was comments about the cob's size or that we both looked like we were enjoying ourselves so I was thoroughly expecting no more than a well tried special rosette.

When we were pulled out first I was gob smacked! In fact I didn't realise it was me and the steward had to come and get me
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The judge just said that the whole thing looked really good fun and he wished he'd been riding. He said he was a super horse and how much he'd like to take him hunting and was he for sale!

Not funny, just sweet and really nice to get positive comments and to be placed above much smarter pairings that obviously didn't perform as convincingly.
 
I had a dressage judge shout 'Well sat' at me out of her box when my old horse spooked across the arena - then her shouting sent the old cow (horse not judge
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) off again in another spook!!

Also (at same venue, with horse before the one above) got told 'horse is very talented but lacks discipline' after he dumped me twice - once before the test and once during it!!

Re my post yesterday - can you now see why I am nervous about taking the new one out!!!!!
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My mate does dressage with my mare.

The mare had got mega stressed and Gillian said it was like riding a giraffe as she had her nose constantly in the air bellowing her head off.

At the halt at the end of the test the mare had a strop and ended at a 90 degree angle to the judge. My mate left the ring hee hawing with laughter.

When she got her score sheet the only comment was for the final halt she was down as 'a bit crooked'.
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When my boy did his 1st dressage test at Sissons, he came into the arena and spotted the showjumping box in the air, and shot across the arena at full speed. (he is an ex racer). Then he spotted the cows on the bank and freaked. Near the end of the test he started to relax when a lorry pulled up alongside said scary box in the air, let off the air brakes, jumped up and down in the cab and noisily dropped the ramp, and that just about finished the job off.

The comment was ' Is your horse a bit of a nightmare'

YES!!!!!!!!
 
These are brilliant! I always love "funny judge's comments" threads!
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I got "pony a little sharp today"...which startled me somewhat, because we'd been hunting the day before, and I thought the pony was pretty much dead on his feet, other than consistently spooking at E. We have a special relationship with the letter E.
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showing at county level... judge said thats a big horse for a small lady... WTF! horse was 17hh im short but i was left totally speachless!
 
Before Christmas I was doing 2 novice tests at an unaff comp, and learning more than one test gets me rather confused. Having read and re-read through the test all morning I was confident I knew what I was doing. So, test number 1 I start trotting round the arena thinking Remy was going really nicely, bell rings so I trun down the centre line. It was a 20 x 60 test and I got as far as g when the judge rang the bell!!
How could I have gone wrong on the centre line?? Judge got out the box to say "Stephanie dear, everyone else has halted at x." Shocked face on my part then mini panic that I had learnt the wrong test, so dragged my mum into the arena to check it was the right test. Turns out I hadn't read it right and I did in fact have to halt at x. I quickly apologised and trotted off sheepishly to start the test again.
I'm not quite sure how but even going wrong on the first movement I won the test with 69%. I now read every word of a test sheet!
 
Showing my new ex-racer and we spent the whole first class with him on his back legs and spinning like mad, get into the second class..same judge.

'your horse looks like he's calming down'. Very sarcastically. He was pouring sweat and looked absolutely wild. Plus side is they did like him
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I've also had 'Can the girl with no stirrups who's horse is behaving so horribly please LEAVE the arena'
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haha agricultural show, cows..ex-racehorse, circus music etc..they don't mix well.
Also 'nice flying changes, but none required'. This was the same horse as above at the same show..doing a prelim test. The movement in question was a 20m canter circle..little bugger figured out he could do changes under saddle a few weeks before and there was no stopping him. 5 on one circle
 
Counter canter & half pass not required at this level..................

I was attempting prelim 7 at the time...........
 
After my little mare bucked all the way across the diagonal (supposed to be cantering and giving and retaking over x) I could hardly contain my laugh. I saluted at the end of the test and burst into hysterical laughter as it was so funny what she had done (no malice just exuberance!). The judge said in her summing up:

"There's not a lot more you can say but your smile was worth a 12"
 
My OH's sister took her Fell in a local M&M class. They've done a fair bit of showing at local and county level and he does quite well... they got placed last, which is fair enough, you win some, you loose some... so rider goes to ask judge for feedback and judge says...
'If you look at him next to the other Section D in the class, he's just not as true to type'..... Erm, maybe because he's a Fell?!

Also, I took my coloured (in sig) in his first ever in hand class, locally. It was a coloured class. Everything plaited got put at the top end of the line up and everything hairy got completely ignored... call it sour grapes but it did annoy me. So I went to ask what we could have done better.... judge clearly didn't have a clue we'd even been in the class because her answer was 'his paces just weren't very active'....
When I told my RI this, she burst out laughing. That's probably the worse comment she could have plucked at random for Freddie, who goes round with his knees up and down like yoyos, so uphill he's vertical and on this particular day trotted like he had a hot rod up his backside!
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She'd clearly dismissed us as soon as we entered the ring! lol!
 
My naughty ISH mare who hated dressage with a vengeance once spent a whole test bucking every time that I put my leg on. I have to say in her defence that she had never bucked before or since. I think I counted 26 and ended up giggling insanely at the judge instead of saluting demurely...judges comment was "I could tell by the look on her face as she came down the centre line that she was planning something!"
 
In the days when we used to halt at X at the start of the test (yes I am that old) "nice square halt....weeeeeed!!!" Wretched animal then proceeded to spook at the wet patch he had left behind and same judge wrote "jumped over X" not my best performance!!
 
These are hilarious, I found an old test sheet at the weekend and had a right giggle, when my boy was young and we stupidly attempted dressage on grass. Prelim 10 starts "very fast down centreline, almost cantered - then cantered" it was pretty much the same all the way through "left arena", "halt not on centreline" it was at M if memory serves me well and the comments at the end were so funny. Paces - too fast to judge today. Submission - not a lot! and finally I got a "you deserve 10/10 for bravery! Bless him
 
Judge told my son "I think you should try to be a little bit stronger with your pony" he was 8 years old riding a stubborn, nappy little New Forest pony in a junior novice rider class - the pony basically only stood in the corner bucking and napping, when she did move it was backwards lol.
 
All in one test...

'Horse rather strong'
'Horse getting stronger'
'Horse VERY strong'
'Well ridden despite the horse taking you like a train'

Genie LOVES canter.... We also cantered down the centre line at the end of one test, and completely squished one of the boards in another - see photo below!

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"You survived! At least you were still smiling at the end!" The dressage arena at this show, was in a field, with a motorway below it. Just as we started our test, a van went by, with LOUD flapping plastic on the roof! Our test was rather faster than it should have been!!!
 
When my horse had a substantial bucking fit in the canter circle of a dressage test, I got "Horse seems resistant to the aids", which I thought was remarkably polite but still to the point!

Less good was the elderly judge who placed me down the line in a hunter class and then commented that it was a shame that my famously saintly mare had reared twice and she thought she was going to come over backwards. I tried explaining to her that she had confused me with the differently coloured horse that she had placed third, but I think she may have been deaf...
 
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