What's the worst criticism you've been given? and how do you take it?

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giggles mum

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From year 11 at my school you can choose to go riding at a local riding school in Games lsons, and today was my first ride there. I got called a "rough rider" by the instructor...basically, I was told the horse I was riding was "very forward going and sensitive" - I found her pretty quiet and not lazy but very "riding-schooly" (and I am used to riding school standards). I was warned that when the horse in front of me cantered she might try to charge off...she didn't try anthing of the sort when the horse struck off into canter, but as I said she had a very "riding schooly" mind, and she did swerve across the school pretty sharply when the horse reached the back of the ride. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, as I didn't think it would be fair to be too sharp with her as I hadn't really been on the ball at the time.

But she did it again on our 2nd canter on the left rein (she'd been fine on the right), so when we were in the middle of the school I was pretty firm with her (I didn't have a stick, but I just gave her quite a firm kick and rode her forwards strongly back in to lead file, after which she behaved herself and went around the outside track calmly to the back of the ride).

There were one or two points earlier in the lesson where I wondered "does this instructor really know what she's on about?" (this really sounds like sour grapes
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) and at the end of the lesson she said "You're quite a rough rider, so maybe that wasn't the best horse to put you on. She needs sensitive handling." I'm aware that I don't ride tidily, mainly because I've hardly had lessons in the past 2 years or so, but I wouldn't call myself rough...or maybe I'm jsut being blind and can't cope with criticism, I'm thinking it over and wondering if I am rough.
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Obviously I'd rather not be rough, and in the past I've been told I'm a quiet rider (although not recently). I think that's the most critical thing an instrucotr has ever said to me. I wan't deliberately harsh with the horse as I'd been told she was sensitive.

What is your worst criticism and how do you deal with it?
really sorry if I sound whingy/arrogant/petulant!
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and sorry for the long post.
 
when i went to work at Leslie Law's, his then girlfriend Harriet asked me "do you think you're an effective rider, or a pretty rider?" i thought for a second and then said "umm, slightly more effective, i think. i know i'm not the most stylish rider ever."
she said "no, you aren't effective either."
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i think it might have been a trick question.
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nice, huh. oh, well. i shrugged it off, and keep striving to improve.
as long as i'm doing no harm, and hopefully slowly improving my horses, i don't beat myself up about it.
i have a much much better trainer now, anyway, and have improved a lot... plus he'd never say anything as demoralising as that!
 
My instructor said I was bone idle..... Pretty cutting but she was right, well not right, what she meant to say was "you let your horse get away with murder as you can't be bothered to corect him, if you acted you could actually do much less work as he would share the load more."

I think what your instructor said was probably true, but she probably didnt phrase it quite correctly?
 
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My instructor said I was bone idle..... Pretty cutting but she was right, well not right, what she meant to say was "you let your horse get away with murder as you can't be bothered to corect him, if you acted you could actually do much less work as he would share the load more."

I think what your instructor said was probably true, but she probably didnt phrase it quite correctly?

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I've seen Giggles ride a countless number of times and she is one of the quietest riders I've ever seen - I was quite shocked when Rosie told me what the instructor had said. It just didn't make sense to me at all - mind you, when I went there year ago, I fell off and was told it was my fault and that I shouldn't have done it. I was 10 at the time, and I was very weedy and horse shot off to the back of the ride...I remember her being quite horrible to me afterwards, and I had no idea why!
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Rosie I really wouldn't worry about it - It really is an odd place IMO.
 
I was told my boy was lazy, pig ignorant and rude and would be better suited to a life of posing and looking 'pretty' for covers of magazines
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I have to say she was kind of right, D is lazy, pig ignorant and rude but he also had a bad back which has now been sorted and I think he'd make a great cover star
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I have to say she is still my instructor now and she is fantastic, at least I know she tells me the truth
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*Stunning big bay donkey availible for cover shoots
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*
 
Having not ridden in years I went to a RS for some private lessons. Sat on horse, rode round for a bit to warm up, all fine. I had previously explained to the instructor that I had lost my nerve, but not much else about my riding history.

Instructor suggested she lunge me for a bit. This went fine until she decided my seat wasnt good enough, so made me trot round with my knees up jockey style. I did this for 3/4 of an hour, by which time the whole of the next lesson was standing watching me.
End of lesson she turned round and told me she wouldnt trust me off the LR on one of her horses I was that much of a rubbish rider. Oh, and loud enough for everyone else to hear.

THAT knocked my confidence badly. I am now convinced whenever I ride that if a horse is naughty it's always my fault and whatever i do i'll just make matters worse, so i end up getting off.
Prior to this I worked in RS, had my own ponies, and worked as a student for a pretty well known eventer, riding up to 7 or 8 eventers a day (just so you understand I was no beginner). Now I won't ride anything over 14hh, or anything that even looks at me wrong.
 
I always tried to deflect the criticism by reeling off a list of my faults in an apologetic fashion at the start of the lesson.
I was cured of that one by one instructor who said 'If you know what your faults are, why don't you b****y well do something about it?'
Now I need a new strategy - any tips?
S
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Katy, that's absolutely terrible, what an awful instructor. sounds as if she started something she shouldn't have (lungeing you like that) and was then trying to save face in front of the next lesson.
poor you. i think you need to go to someone with a positive, encouraging style and get your mojo back. the nasty cow, how dared she.
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xxKatyxx
I agree with Kerilli - that wasn't a good instructor. Find yourself someone better, and stop worrying. Incidentally the exercise you described has been banned (by BHS bods) because it risks damaging the hip joints. It doesn't do a whole hell of a lot for deepening the seat either!
S
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When I was in Germany the trainer said (and you've got to understand, this is translated) 'Oh for goodness sake (well ok maybe not goodness) you're riding like an English person. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot. You are an English person.'
 
Thing is, she's a GOOD instructor in her own way ands has taught friends fine. But I think she prefers it when she can start from scratch.
The people who have been taught by her now cannot adapt to any other instructors ways, which may tell you something.

I just didt get her, to me a good seat is being able to stick on when you're riding and leading and the one you're leading throws itself in a ditch, whilst the one you're riding is bucking.
Now THAT I HAVE done!!
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xxKatyxx
I agree with Kerilli - that wasn't a good instructor. Find yourself someone better, and stop worrying. Incidentally the exercise you described has been banned (by BHS bods) because it risks damaging the hip joints. It doesn't do a whole hell of a lot for deepening the seat either!
S
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Thank God for that. I couldnt sit down for three days
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My goodness - what a blooming strange thing for her to ask you to do Katy.
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Probably the worst thing that was ever said to me was actually nothing. After years of doing my own thing, I was coerced into going along for a shared jumping lesson with a couple of my boarders. The lesson was instructed by a top British rider and she was wonderful with the girls I went with. All she said to me was "lovely"
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. Nice and all, but a total and utter waste of lots of money.

I guess the worst criticism was when I had lessons as a child and I was told to "kick" and "shorten reins" and to stop being such a soft-handed rider. I should have given up English riding back then eh? As time has gone on I feel that the manner in which I ride is far more akin to western and that is why I enjoy it so much more than English riding now. I can't be doing with all this kicking lark and rigid body and the domineering ways of English.
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That sounds awful!
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I'd have been in tears! *hugs*, although I realise it's long been over now!

Incidentally, BHSI at our yard had started a new group of kids, who other instructors had told they were "good" enough (we're talking very young beginners here) to move up a group. These were 7-9 year old kids, and instructor threw 3 of the 6 out halfway through the class for not being able to rise to the trot! I think it would have killed my confidence to be chucked out of a lesson at that age, however bad I was!
 
Yes, it really bugs me when people say absolutely nothing negative in a lesson. I'm all for praise, but there is always SOMETHING that could be better and I want to know about it, otherwise I'm never going to get any better!
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Realise that might sound a little hypocritical given the content of the original post...I was just quite shocked by that particular criticism.
 
'I guess the worst criticism was when I had lessons as a child and I was told to "kick" and "shorten reins" and to stop being such a soft-handed rider. I should have given up English riding back then eh? As time has gone on I feel that the manner in which I ride is far more akin to western and that is why I enjoy it so much more than English riding now. I can't be doing with all this kicking lark and rigid body and the domineering ways of English. '

Me too
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, except I did it the other way around, started riding western, then converted to english so will never have my reins as short as any instructor would like (except maybe a classcal dressage instructor)
 
I think my instructor has always been quite polite but I was told that I had arms like I was pushing a wheel barrow and that the lack of bend was my problem not Bert's.

My farrier has told me that my horse is "special" and that he only added me to his client list becuase he "likes him" *said in a pitying ah bless look at the special horse licking a window kind of way*
 
How can you saw them into an outline if your reins aren't short enough? And when you start sawing, they stop if you don't kick. I mean really! Do you guys not know how to ride or something?
S
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