What's the worst criticism you've been given? and how do you take it?

I know...I mean I don't think they realise how highly qualified, knowledgeable etc she is!

But her lessons do tend to end up with half an hour of explaining some very minor point, usually with an anecdote about a time she saw someone not do this minor thing and end up in hospital. Then she realises you've been plodding round the school for half an hour while she's talked at you. Can be useful info at times...just a bit of an overload, especially if you're 8!
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Blimey. Maybe she should write a book? I mean rather than teaching kids! If I talk for more than 30 seconds, my daughters start moaning and saying can't we DO something, and yes, mother, jolly interesting why not tell us over tea or something but as we're riding at the moment ....... in fact, my younger daughter, when she was really little, once said 'Mummy, you keep telling me to use my legs, and then wanting me to use my ears and I can't do both!'
 
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When I was in Germany the trainer said (and you've got to understand, this is translated) 'Oh for goodness sake (well ok maybe not goodness) you're riding like an English person. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot. You are an English person.'

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I think i would find that quite funny!

You weren't put off by it were you?
 
LOL at your daughter. I really think that kids in the age group she teaches come to ride just to have fun and should do team games etc in their lessons...rather than striving for that perfect circle or figure of 8. Older riders can get the satisfaction of getting it just right, but for kids that's boring!
 
My instructor in England used to yell "You're CRAP!" at me... but she did give praise too, so that was alright.
I don't think anyone has said anything really scathing about my riding, but they HAVE been quite critical of PF, which is FAR worse (and of course reflects on me as I AM her rider!)
Come to think of it... they've also been quite rude about Antifaz...
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oh goodness no - that's one of the most printable insults. There were worse! Although some of the most fearsome trainers I've encountered are at their worst when ominously silent, if you ask me!
 
Worst crit I have ever been given, and I am ashamed to say on more than one occasion, by more than one trainer, is "FFS, stop being lazy and ride to your ability - you have the potential to be great, but your attitude means you will only ever be average"
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Thing is, it is true
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On the gist of what Tia reported, I had a lesson with a Fellow who is VERY high up at the BHS as it was organised by the yard and there was a free spot. I rode Zante round to warm up, then the guy got on (she did not go well for him), I got back on, he told me to not canter her, work on her walk and trot and said "There is nothing else I can teach you"
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When I had old partloan pony, he started to act up majorly when being ridden and I instantly thought it was either his teeth or back.

Spent nearly 2 weeks trying to convince the owners that he wasn't right and all I got in return one evening was "there's nothing wrong with his f'ing back, it's your riding etc etc; you're the one riding him f'ing badly and that's why he's being silly"

Stopped riding him there and then as was just so shocked. What did it do to me? Took me nearly 6 weeks to get back on a horse - dented my confidence that much, that when I went for a lesson at my RS, my instructor had to coax me out of a trot, I was that worried my riding was that bad. A year on, my confidence is still no-where what it had been.

Turns out pony did have a problem and he was reacting to pain - they only got him sorted though after he nearly bolted with the owner
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Best one from my instructor was along the lines of "you're not riding to even an inch of your actual ability, what the hell is going on, sort the crap out NOW"
 
I think the worst thing thats ever been said to me about my riding was when I had Taz, and a friend said that I shouldn't jump as I jabbed him in the mouth everytime we jumped a fence and that we didn't have a bond. I have to say that really hurt me, because of the manner it was put, and because we had been making real progress with our jumping - it was at PC camp and at the start of the week we'd been struggling to get over a fence at all, and by the end we were jumping reasonable courses pretty nicely, SJ and XC. It was partly true, as Taz was very very difficult to jump as he'd charge flat out at a fence and throw his head up, which made me tense, but I don't think I jabbed him as much as he reacted very strongly to any pressure on his mouth at all. And we had the strongest bond I've ever had with a horse, he wouldn't go at all for anyone else.

Anyway, that remark knocked my confidence in jumping a lot, and it took me a long time to get it back - with the help of TFT! by the time I sold him he was jumping better than ever before with me, and I think my confidence is now fully back.

I do like to receive CC but I have to say, harsh comments do knock me quite hard, I can be a bit sensitive by nature!
 
When I was around 13 I was told that I had harsh hands. I didn't - at the time I was riding a pony with a mouth like a brick wall and a tendency to bolt. However, that comment effected me so much that I rode with too long reins for years, and I still tend to allow my reins to go too long unless I'm aware of what I'm doing.
 
Things like that can have a lasting effect can't they! I'm still overly paranoid about not jabbing a horse over a fence...!
 
Yes, they do. Now that I teach myself I am constantly aware of how things can sound and try to be as clear as possible and explain what I mean at ever opportunity, especially to children.
 
Hmmm. Top trainer once said to me ...
"What the fcuk dont you understand about keep your fcuking hands still"
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Now, I keep my hands still :grin

Up to now, no one has ever measured up to her
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now you see I'd hate that. If I want to listen to language like that, I can travel on a school bus.
Why do people who are really good often feel the need to show off how rude they can be?
I think manners and a half decent command of the English Language should be mandatory.
 
Oh I get it was the instructor saying she was so good he couldn't teach her anything else?
I'm such a pessimist I thought he'd just abandoned hope. That would be what would happen to me!
 
Hey, what's wrong with sawing?
Obviously you have to let go when you want to make a roll up or gesture to motorists, but other than that it's the way to get your horse in a lovely soft outline.
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Oh I get it was the instructor saying she was so good he couldn't teach her anything else?
I'm such a pessimist I thought he'd just abandoned hope. That would be what would happen to me!

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I think it was more "this horse is pretty crap and TBH you will be lucky to ever get any decent work out of her so I cannot teach you anything else, carry on with what you are doing" - I posted about it at the time, will try and dig it out as I cracked up!
 
Noooooooooo, she was wonderful. It was the before and after that I missed out
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I dont do being shouted at either, but this was perhaps, deserved
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It finally taught me the 'feel' for which I had been searching, under several instructors, for years
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I was showing my mare in hand and when I left the ring my OH and an ex
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friend were p****** themselves
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The cause of their merriment was the way I ran, rotten beggars
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It played on my mind for the rest of the day and the next morning I got up early and started jogging, I was so chuffed when I completed my first 10k in good time and it shut them up !!!
 
Weezy, i can't believe a Fellow said that to you. how hopeless must (He?) have been. either that, or you had a PERFECT walk and trot.
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total resignation in a trainer is very frustrating. i was reduced to tears, in my 20s, by my then trainer literally throwing his hands in the air and declaring "it's no good, i can't teach you feel. you've either got it or you haven't, and you haven't."
this, as i know now, is boll***s.
a much much better trainer, classically trained German, by dint of endless patience and kindness, has taught me feel.
i agree that utter silence can be the worst thing... but when i get a word of praise...wow, do i treasure it!

instructors who praise all the time, presumably cos they can't be bothered to try to improve it, drive me nuts. i had a lesson once with a guy who's now a BHSI. my horse was going appallingly, headshaking and very naughty generally, and this guy just kept saying "that's nice. yes, that's nice. do it again. that's nice" till i wanted to throttle him and the horse! i knew it was cr*p, i didn't mind being told, and i wanted to know how to make it better, ffs!
 
Now I've found that the best instructors don't tell me what I did...they ask me how it felt and what I think I should have done....then they either agree or make suggestions (such as 'take up golf'
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I don't really want 'that's great' or 'that's crap' - I want help to be better....so not just problem identification, but solving, and even better, giving me the tools to solve my own problems.
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Weezy, i can't believe a Fellow said that to you. how hopeless must (He?) have been. either that, or you had a PERFECT walk and trot.
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I assure you he did, its on video!
 
Probably the worst (and most truthful!) was earlier this year on a jumping lesson when I got yelled at for being too soft and pathetic! LOL.
The instructor also mentioned to one of my friends a few weeks later that I was far too nice to my horse. (I was a wee bit put out and huffed that that wasn't such a bad thing in my opinion hehe!)

But yes I definitely was too soft when jumping for a whole load of reasons... i actually didn't really want to do it, I was worried about April's age (20+), she hadn't really jumped before and she also isn't mine!

Well the comments really worked because now when I'm jumping I am much more keen, I commit to it more and we are having great results.
It also helps I guess that inside my head I have 'I'll show them'
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I also totally agree with PF that I am completely fair game for criticism but when it's April that's another matter!
 
I think the worst was very recently
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My trainer completely bawled me out in front of several of her liveries, the next rider and probably everyone else on the yard (she was very loud) saying I spent too much time blaming my horse for not reaching her potential when it actually me wasting her because she had told me god knows how many times to keep my hands still and closed and look up!

Needless to say, the following day at the AF's I had this at the back of my mind and rode the best Prelim and Novice I have ever ridden with marks 5% above our usual marks
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I don't respond well to the softly softly approach... being bawled out works for me.
 
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