Whats wrong with this advert??

I wouldnt use the last two pics and yes, I think he's over-priced- £800 would be about his value I expect
 
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I wouldnt use the last two pics and yes, I think he's over-priced- £800 would be about his value I expect

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Agree!
 
I'd get some better shots - closer so you can see more and with the person on the other side so he doesn't block the view of the horse trotting. I'd get the confo shot from the other side preferably on hard flat ground so his feet can be seen, i think his markings are nicer the other side too. Trim his legs as he has very little feather, give him a bath and also put him in a bridle for the pics.

i think the price is fine

I'd take out the word 'nasty' from the vices bit - it just crossed my mind when i read it that he's got vices but not really nasty ones if you see what i mean!!!
 
The person trotting him up is on the wrong side- blocking the view of the horse- Plus i think hes a bit expensive- I would advertise him for £1200 expecting to achieve between £800 and £1000
 
middle two pics are unecessary...and not that flattering TBH..

Bought one the same as him that has been driven...600

your lad would be about the same..
 
Re: the photos. If you can find some hard standing/a yard to take the pics on it will look better than the field. Agree that you should get a close-up conformation shot, preferably with the handler not included. The one you have at the mo (the first pic) he is not standing on level or slightly uphill ground. I'd do that rather than showing him downhill, it's not good for assessing conformation and can make horses look croup high.
The second pic I agree please take handler out of photo. Also I know it might be impossible but if you can trot him up on a level piece of concrete it will look smarter than the current background.
I don't know if you cleaned him up but it would be good to have him really sparkling with a brushed tail and clean coat. Some hoof oil etc. For the trot-up pic put a bridle on that is clean and in good condition.
A conformation and trot-up shot should be all you need - cut out the last two.
It's the details that will make all the difference to these pics. If people don't like the pics they are unlikely to even look at the text below.
I agree with other posters that he is a bit over-priced for his age/experience.
Otherwise the text looks good!! Good luck.
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he nice pics r a bit 2 far away , i bought 1 for £450 4mths ago so i think u got a 1 in the way ? i would give u £650 for him
 
What others have said - faaaaar too pricey for a 2yo who's done NVM, pics need to be better/closer/more useful (although I quite like the last one actually! But I can see how that would counter the image of him being steady...) Anywho, a blow by blow critique of your advert, but it's going to be quite honest so brace yourself:

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Native type

[/ QUOTE ] Perhaps I'm being really finnicky but I'm thinking this isn't the most ideal description? Feel totally free to disagree.
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No nasty vices

[/ QUOTE ] ("Just nice, mild ones..." ?!?) What you've accidentally done is set this sentence up to read "He has none of X" and the reader then mentally supplies "instead he has Y". Consider the sentence: "I've never had a bad affair". You are likely to think, "Aha! You've only ever had good ones!" and the implication in the wording of your ad here is that he has mild (or even nice!) vices. In short, nasty MUST go!
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will make good future driving/show/competition prospect

[/ QUOTE ]Will he? Are you absolutely positively definite? And will he definitely be good? This could unwittingly land you in trouble because if they take him away and then actually something comes up that prevents him from 'being good' at all of these things, you could end up with an awkward customer wanting their money back. Use 'should' or similar - less factive.
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home is more important than price

[/ QUOTE ]Ummmm... that's sort of undermined by the fact that the price is nearly double what I'd willingly pay.

Anywho, I can't imagine linguistics lecturers often spend time analysing horsey ads for people, but there you go and I hope it helps
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I think the advert could do with a little tweeking.

I would keep the 'native type' cause thats what he is, the 'nasty vices' needs tidying up to either not mention vices or 'no vices',

The pictures need completely re-doing, a conformation picture from both sides that show his markings, and a trotting picture to show his fluent movement. I try and take pride in the pictures, clean, with thoses little finishing touches hoof oil, baby oil through his mane and tail etc.

I think the price is fine to be honest, if you struggle I would sell up this end for the same money!! also horses are not selling particularly well at the moment and youngstock are a smaller market place than say an allrounder. Hang on in there. I do think with youngstock it is important to give them a potential job unless it is reasonably obvious eg sire and dam both top showjumpers.

Hope it helps x x
 
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