When did this happen?

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topsyturvy

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Hi All,

Can anyone inform me when the horsey world became such a b***y place? I know people always have their opinions but it seems to me lately it is getting unbearable!

Never thought in a million years I would contemplate selling up but I just feel so deflated with it all now.

Long story short I was on a yard for a few years which was not particularly pleasant- nasty YO pretty much made my life hell the last few months so I left before I completely lost my sanity. Moved onto new yard and have been there a few months. Last couple of weeks I have noticed more and more unwarranted comments coming from other liveries concerning myself and my horses. I have no idea where the comments are coming from as I very rarely see anyone- I am there at 6am before work and 6.30pm after work- and keep myself to myself (valuable lesson learned from previous yard).

Currently all other horses (including my other two) are out only every other day until the summer fields open. My retiree needs to go out every day for medical reasons which have been explained to YO and was perfectly happy for him to go out but yesterday it came to a head when YO approached and said my retiree pony could not go out in the field anymore because "everyone is moaning".

I really do not want to get into the same situation as I was on the first yard again. There are very limited yards or even grazing in my area and I simply cannot find anywhere that is suitable to move them to. I just cannot go through the stress of it all again so am considering selling the younger two and having the oldie on retirement livery.

I really just want to be able to enjoy my horses. It seems that most people are more concerned with what everyone else is doing as opposed to enjoying their own horses.

I guess I just needed a rant. If you have got this far tea and biscuits to you :)
 
Why didn't you remind the YO that daily turn out was part of your agreement when you moved to the yard? To be honest it sounds like bad management on part of the YO rather than anything else. Can you not send the oldie to retirement livery?
 
I agree with Booboos and would be reminding your YO of this but I imagine he's just trying to keep the peace. I wonder if you've inadvertently come across as a bit snooty to you fellow liveries in your attempt to keep yourself to yourself? I'm not for one second saying it's your fault, but could you try to have a chat to them about it? Maybe if they understand the reasons they'd be less likely to complain?
 
I feel for you. Sometimes you wish people would just mind their own business and let you get on with doing your horse your own way. I think we've probably all been on the end of something which drives us mad at livery yards. Have a cup of tea (if it were me it would be wine!). Don't let the back biting spoil the enjoyment of your horses, they don't have that much power over you. When you're feeling calm and collected, go and speak to the yard owner and tell him/her that you have an agreement which is not dependent on what other people say or think. Tell her if she can't stick to that agreement then she must tell you so that you can consider your options, which may include leaving. Then carry on in spite of all the mean minded nasties!! Good luck.
 
The joys of livery yards, perhaps have a discussion with YO about the fact the arrangement was agreed when you moved to the yard and the arrangement and management of your horses is between yourself and YO, its nobody else's business.
 
I think that if I had been on a livery yard for many years and the rule is alternate day turnout, then a new livery arrives and their horse gets daily turnout then I and most others at the yard would be miffed.

All horses need daily turnout. If the rule changes then it should change for all.
 
Thank you for your replies. When I spoke to YO the reason she gave was "just trying to keep the peace". I can understand the frustrations but he is out purely on medical grounds, and for only four hours a day.

I do speak to the other liveries when I see them but as I said I tend not to see anyone due to the times I am there. Even on weekends when I spend a few hours there I tend not to bump into many of them. They are all fully aware of my experience at the previous yard. I guess I am just confused as to where this is all coming from as I have not fallen out with or even disagreed with anyone- I do not see them to do so!

I must admit the main culprits are the former YM and her two friends. She has only recently been demoted from YM so perhaps she is just taking her frustrations of this out on me.

I guess I am just a little upset really. I was beginning to enjoy my horses again then this flares up. I have to add I am not a person who upsets easily and tend to just get on with things just really fed up with the nastiness for no reason!
 
dreamcometrue said:
I think that if I had been on a livery yard for many years and the rule is alternate day turnout, then a new livery arrives and their horse gets daily turnout then I and most others at the yard would be miffed.

All horses need daily turnout. If the rule changes then it should change for all.
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it is not just my horse that goes out. There is another sick pony who goes out with him- nothing has been said about the other pony just mine.
 
Depends on what you had agreed when you moved there.
My liveries/friends were describing the sniping to and from YO on their old yard - if anyone came to me and said xxxx is doing yyyy I would either say that is what I have agreed with them, or similar. Apparently they all moaned about how different horses were being managed - I would say sort that out between yourselves, and I did say as part of the conversation if anyone comes telling tales to me they will be asked to find somewhere else. It sounds much like the average playground at primary school, and you aren't part of the "gang" as you keep yourself to yourself!
Take up the issue of your old horse's turnout with the YO/YM and point out it was agreed when you moved there (so really is part of your contract, although you may not want to get that heavy).
 
My horse has to go out everyday but there are occasions when he doesn't go out so I will always either ride him that evening after work or hand walk him around the yard for twenty mins.

The rule on our yard is two hour per day in the winter in a sandpit turnout. Not keen on not having access to grass daily, but its help my horse out in the past with his leg injuries.

Most yards have bitchiness, lots of women together usually means this happens. It is one of the reasons I work on a building site with men :)

Have a word with the YO but she sounds like she is slightly ruled by the other liveries and doesn't have her own mind though :(
 
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I actually don't think anyone is being bitchy. Turnout is an emotive subject when it is hard to come by. Everyone will want their horses out every day and to see someone else's horse getting preferential treatment for whatever reason is bound to annoy folk. I doubt they are annoyed at you, or back biting; just annoyed at the YO for bending the rules for a new pony. They are then pressurising YO who is probably realising her mistake and giving you the honest reason she wishes to change the arrangement. She should however, give you adequate notice of the change so you are able to make alternative arrangements at a different yard, not just stop your pony's turnout arrangements.
 
Oh Man I feel your pain, I'm really getting disheartened with livery yards myself and I am doing exactly what you do in yours. I too have been stung badly at livery yards so I know exactly what you are feeling.

easier said than done but just ignore the nitpicking and tit for tat. It will pass. Just keep the head down and ignore and smile politely at them.

The agreement is between you and the YO so until he makes a massive issue out of it, just keep on keeping on. Don't fuss and let them all moan, they will soon find something else to moan about if they realise they are getting no reaction from you.

End of the day you need to do whats best for you and your horses. Don't sell up cos of some nasty nellies. you'll regret it in the long run.

Now I need to take my own advice and do the same at the yard I recently moved to..
 
Thank you for the replies. They have definitely made me feel better about the situation. I am going to look around over the next few days to see if there is anywhere suitable (within a reasonable distance) to move them to. The YO did agree when I moved on that he could go out- she even spoke to my vet about it. I really can't be bothered dealing with the aggro so am just going to look elsewhere.

I was looking for my own place last year so I guess this has given me the kick up the backside to start looking again :)
 
I would actually not be bothered by your horses getting everyday turn out and mine getting every other day.

When our yo closes the feilds we have one horse who needs three hours turnout at least a day or he will colic, badly.
Not one person on our yard complains about him having that turn out asters can all cope with being ridden/lunged/inhand grazed etc.
It's frustrating nit being able to turn out but I wouldn't wish another horse to suffer just to because they get something mine don't
 
Do the other liveries know the reason for your horse going out?

I know its not their business but it could help if they knew the reasons for the daily turnout.
 
Yes, the other liveries are fully aware of the reasons he goes out. I have no idea why they suddenly have a problem with it and he now has to suffer because of this. He goes out four hours absolute maximum. I will be able to walk him in hand for a while in the mornings and evenings now with it being lighter so I guess that is something at least.

I really couldn't care less if they have an issue with me (I've no idea if that is the case) but it annoys me that it is being taken out on my pony.
 
What comments have been made that are bitchy? If it's purely about the pony's turnout, then ask your vet to contact the YO and speak to her-again! It's ridiculous, given he already spoke to her and she already agreed. She sounds weak.
 
There have been comments that I should not have the horses because I am never there, the big lad is completely wasted with me, why did I ever buy the smaller pony its a complete waste of space, I am lying about my oldie having to go out (even though my vet spoke with the YO). They are a few I can remember off the top of my head.
 
It is the end of a long wet winter and every horse owner is feeling it! If the others are still kept in every other day, with all the work that goes with it, seeing one who has only just got there going out each day will be focus for their end of winter frustration. By the time all the horses go out each day/24 hour turnout, this particular storm in a tea cup will vannish. If you get your own place you loose all the aggro of other people, but then gain all the maintenance :)
 
topsyturvy said:
There have been comments that I should not have the horses because I am never there, the big lad is completely wasted with me, why did I ever buy the smaller pony its a complete waste of space, I am lying about my oldie having to go out (even though my vet spoke with the YO). They are a few I can remember off the top of my head.
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I used to get this, but it was from the mummies with monies who wereup during the day! I was WORKING so they never saw me unless precious darling wanted to come up at night or to a training session. Was funny as when they were up they sat about drinking coffee and comparing nails and how Feutialla was doing at school blah blah.

ANYWAY.........Just HOW little grazing is there? Is there no way they could all go out daily with Hay until the summer fields open?
 
YO needs to grow a backbone, it's none of the other liveries business how much turnout your oldie gets. I understand turnout will probably be a touchy subject but surely they can have a bit of compassion and understanding that it's for health reasons.
I too have had the comments about me 'never being' at yard...in reality I'm actually there at 5.30am everyday to do my jobs then back at around 6pm to ride, I don't have the same luxury as some of living/working near the yard. I hope you manage to come through this rough patch soon OP, it's horrible when you just want to enjoy your horses and cant.
 
I agree with your comments re end of winter frustrations however I must add that this is the first winter (ever from what I can see) that the horses and ponies on this yard have been allowed any turn out in the winter at all so I thought they would have appreciated having every other day out.

I think I may be a little sensitive to the situation having regard to what I went through at the previous yard, I just don't want it to happen again.
 
topsyturvy said:
There have been comments that I should not have the horses because I am never there, the big lad is completely wasted with me, why did I ever buy the smaller pony its a complete waste of space, I am lying about my oldie having to go out (even though my vet spoke with the YO). They are a few I can remember off the top of my head.
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sounds like end of winter blues and people getting snipey because they have had enough of horses being in. and of course because they do not see you it must be magic that your horses are done before they get there or when they have gone. I would see if there is a retirement yard within reasonable distance and have the oldie there so its one less for you to worry about and you could visit at weekends or in winter every couple of weeks.
 
Yes it is getting frustrating with the comments that I am never there. From what I can see not many of the other liveries work, and I am by no means having a go at people who don't work, but I do not have the luxury of being able to go to the yard whenever I want as I have to work.

Although they cannot go out on grass every day there are sand paddocks available for the day when they are not in the field.
 
I'd keep turning out as per the vet's instructions, and remind the YO that this is what was agreed to. Other liveries can take a running jump.
 
I have been on two largish livery yards, one you hardly ever saw anyone and the other so people saw it as their second home. The difference the tea room, just somewhere to sit and slag everyone else off and fester over pettiness. A bit like FB with chairs.
I worked and probably spent less time with my lot than people with one. You do get fed up of explaining yourself to someone who in any other circumstances you would not bother.
I suppose it depends if the YO can fill your spaces if you go. I would be polite, explain that was the original agreement and say if its changed you will have to think again as you do not want a preventable vets bill. With luck three weeks and they are out.
 
Yes I fully agree with you. normally it would be a two word answer to these people, and it wouldn't be merry Christmas! I will have a chat with YO who will hopefully understand and tell the others to mind their own business. if not I will be looking elsewhere as I do not want to send him to retirement livery, I want him to finish his days with me.
 
EmmasMummy said:
ANYWAY.........Just HOW little grazing is there? Is there no way they could all go out daily with Hay until the summer fields open?
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this tbh, it is pretty dry now? We have not really got any grass and won't until the end of the month easily but everyone is out with hay.

I have to say when my oldie has to retire he will likely be going to retirement livery, I would much rather have him out with a gang of boys 24/7 than have to be stabled. If the other sick pony is still going out does that mean he is on his own?
 
ester said:
this tbh, it is pretty dry now? We have not really got any grass and won't until the end of the month easily but everyone is out with hay.

I have to say when my oldie has to retire he will likely be going to retirement livery, I would much rather have him out with a gang of boys 24/7 than have to be stabled. If the other sick pony is still going out does that mean he is on his own?
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Sorry I have not made it clear. Geldings one day mares the next. On the day they cannot go in the field there are mud or sand paddocks available to turn out in but they are refusing now to use these.
 
topsyturvy said:
There have been comments that I should not have the horses because I am never there, the big lad is completely wasted with me, why did I ever buy the smaller pony its a complete waste of space, I am lying about my oldie having to go out (even though my vet spoke with the YO). They are a few I can remember off the top of my head.
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Is this all from the ex-YM? Cos the YO really needs to grow a pair and tell her and her 2 cronies to stfu, frankly.
 
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