When do you admit you've made a mistake?

sleepykitten

sleepykitten

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Hi, bit of a tricky one. Had new horse just over a month now, bought for hacking out on as my poor mare has injured her suspensory ligament. Bought him basically as a stopgap as vet quite optimistic that she will come sound again. However, first couple of hacks down the road were a bit disastrous, nappy behaviour, running backwards etc, but after vet did teeth etc, seemed grand. Got on him today after not riding him for three days and took him a new route. Cue rearing, spinning round, attempting to bolt back home etc. A lot of blood, sweat and tears later, managed to get him about 10 strides down new route, praised him, then calmly walked him back to a familiar route and made him go down there instead. I work full time so bought him as a horse I could drag out of the field and ride when I get chance (was advertised as this!), I bought a hack that doesn't seem to want to hack, on the ground we are fine, respects me, easy to catch etc etc, but I really think that he is the wrong horse for me. Schools really well but I want to hack out!!! Sold as hacks alone and in company so I don't think I'm pushing the boundaries!! Question is, do I persevere (although tbh, getting nervous a bit now!) or do I just bite the bullet and admit he's not right for me? He's 9 so should be fairly mature! Slice of wedding cake for getting this far xx:D
 
If you are getting nervous its a slippery slope - you can't fill him with confidence when yours is ebbing.

I'm not one of those to advocate plugging away when you are experiencing the issues above. One wrong rear and he's over and back ontop of you and that will be that.

I'd either get someone else to ride him and get him doing it (my pet hate is horses that wont hack alone, I think its ridiculous!) or sell him to someone who wants to do those things he does with ease!

No shame at all in that!
 
My impression is that he has confidence issues. If this is the case he will improve as he gains confidence in you and learns all your hacking routes so that they are familiar to him.
 
Depends how confident / brave you are. ;) He might just be nappy as he is in a new home / usure of where he is etc and could well settle down with time, but will also be feeling your fear which won't help.

We moved yards recently and my pony was really nappy for a few months until he settled into his new home (he's a stress head anyway, so a normal horse might have settled quicker!!) I have also been hacking my friends new pony out who also napped the first few times but settled really quickly and is lovely to take out on his own now. They are both little (13.2 and 14.1) so coping with napping is much easier to cope with.

I know what it feels like to lose confidence. I got a horse on full loan last year who was too big for me (advertised at 15.2 - turned out to be 16.1) and who started napping including rearing vertical. The 2nd time he did it I got off and never rode him again and he went back to his owner. I'm not sure why he started doing it, but I knew I didn't have the ability or confidence to deal with that, and his owner appreciated my honesty about it.
 
I used to get off and lead my mare past the scary Alpacas (all done calmly with her doing exactly as I asked eg, stand nicely for me to get off). I always found that it helped her confidence and my confidence. We can now ride past them with no trouble so I don't agree with people who say that you should never dismount. I'd even walk the whole route if I needed to. :)

What about someone to walk with you or even come on their bike? I find that both of these have helped my mare (and my confidence) when I didn't have another horse to go hacking with.

The most important thing is to stay safe.
 
Oh you'd be suprised, my old 17hander thought he'd start that mess, we sat beside a wheelie bin he was determined not to pass for 30 mins, with me not letting him walk back or turn away. Not saying it was brute force but it was sheer determination.

We walked past and the arguments slowly got smaller and smaller...and well you know the rest!
 
Thanks FC, got hubby to walk with me this morn after trying 3 times to get him to go, but didn't make any difference, was just as bad, and tried to go over the top of him too which wasn't very clever! He was neighing at my mare the whole tiime too which didn't help. TBH, vet saying I can think about getting back on my old mare (push button ride, definitely hacks out alone!) and I'm sorely tempted to just sell the big lad and concentrate on her, although shes been off work for nearly 2 years so gonna be slow going at first.
 
Yeah it's not the same thing at all, as i have said above, I personally wouldn't suffer it but then I'm very black and white and not many shades of grey!! Hope you get something sorted out either way, its meant to be fun - as I always say!!
 
how about contacting the old owner to ask about his behavior? it might be an idea of the old owner coming over taking him for a hack etc to build his confidence up in his suroundings and to show you how to handle him. if this doesnt work and hes still loopy id probably consider selling, no point in getting out of your depth and loosing confidence.
 
My thoughts exactly! And coming back to the house in tears is definitely not my idea of fun! Trouble is, I just don't have the time to fart about with this that and the other, my last mare is just so easy in every way and I know its wrong to compare them but you can't help it! I lost my nerve years back because i bought the wrong horse, and she got me my confidence back. I don't want to be back there again because I've been to stubborn to get rid!
 
sleepykitten said:
My boy is 17hh so there's no way I'm going to win an all out fight with him, have being trying to use psychology!
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Oh - well that would be a no brainer for me. I'd sell him! He's far too big to be fighting with as you say. Hope you get something sorted xx
 
Hi nixxy, been in constant contact with last owner who is saying she can't understand this behaviour, not like him at all, but she sold him as she has had a back operation so unable to ride at the mo. Have tried most things she has suggested, including when she suggested smacking him with a stick - this made him bronc! I'm just not sure I'm confident enough to handle him, I wnated a ready made horse and thats what I thought I'd bought, as I say, time to spend messing about is at a premium - don't get me wrong, when he goes well, he is lovely, but I don't have the time to put into him if hes going to be like this. Don't want to have a fight everytime we try to go somewhere new!
 
To be honest it sounds like you too just aren't suited. Seems very odd though a horse who is sold as a very good hacker seems to be precisely the opposite! i mean yes, a horse in a strange place may well be a bit jumpy to start with but napping, rearing and trying to p*ss off are not normal behaviours. Put it this way, i know if i sold my horse he is a good hacker and WILL go out on his own or in company, yep he can spook a bit and even sometimes get a bit excited and chomp on his bit (lol) but he would never do any of the things you have said yours is doing.

I am all for persevering with these things but nowadays I feel if you do not feel safeand happy on board then why put yourself through it? At 17hh it is no fun and you shouldn't be risking your neck going out. If you are not happy then I would look to sell before you do end up getting attached to him and it makes it more difficult. He may well be totally different with someone else.
 
I feel your pain and Im 8 yrs on :eek::eek:
My horse has always been a pain and its no fun. Ive had a similar conversation this morning, saying all I want is to have fun and that Im getting too old to constantly be one step ahead of him. I know my horse inside out, I know what he reacts too and what he will do. Im lucky in the fact he doesnt rear, run backwards (he used too!), buck or bolt but he just feels like he is on pins all the time and does some nasty spooks.

On a positive note, horses do test the water a few weeks in, mine ditched me and I ended up in A&E but we overcome the running backwards with positive riding and a crack of the whip. I remember being terrified at the time but after that he never did it again. Once he knew he couldnt intimidate me, he was a much better horse but he has always been quirky.

Did the previous owner have him a long time? Maybe hes totally freaked out and unsettled as hes moved from his long term home and will settle given a bit of time.

My previous horse was the opposite, she would go anywhere and wasnt fazed by anything. Sadly she was PTS and boy do I miss her.
 
The horse may have been perfect to hack around his old area, but you've taken him out of his comfort zone now so he's not the same horse.
I'd be looking to find him a new home, these creatures cost us a fortune to keep and we should get the enjoyment we require from them. And as you've said, he has a lot of good points and will be perfect for someone out there. You may even find a swap for a horse that loves easy hacking but can't do a lot more. Ideal situation all round!
 
Sounds like you're a bit over horsed with this one at the moment, and if you don't have the time to sort out his new found issues over the move to a new yard, or feel cofident enough to help him through this, I think you should sell him. He may benefit from being sold in the long run, but not staying with you as things are at the present.
 
TBH, and I wouldn't normally say this, but I think you should sell. There's no fun in battling constantly when hacking out. It gets to the point when you don't want to ride the horse anymore and dread going out. Good luck with whatever you decide to do
 
God he sounds horrible! What's he like hacking in company? Does he actually properly rear and bonc and bolt? If he does he sounds a right nut job! Especially being 17hh I'd be terrified.
I would get owner to take him back, get a solicitors letter drawn up saying he is not fit for purpose sold, he's not a safe hack he's a dangerous nutter, he is not as advertised ect and she must take him back.
You can't sell him on like that, he could seriously hurt someone! Either that or he will start downward spiral in to horse underworld. The responsibility doesn't lay with you though it's lays with the person who miss sold him to you. Bad back my arse she was probably just scared to ride him!
 
Hi Fw, well, I'm painting him out to be a total devil horse which is not completely fair, I have had a few nice hacks on him down the road, he is not strong and comes onto the bit nicely, he schools really well and really listens to your leg. He is comfortable and very affectionate, the problem seems to come when you get him out of his comfort zone. When he rears, he doesn't go full height, he just does fairly small ones, but combined with running backwards and trying to spin round, can be quite scary. He only bronced once which is when the seller told me to smack him with the stick, but hasn't un-horsed me (yet!) When i bought him, I hacked him alone and in company at the sellers' place and he was fine both ways. I even now take my little dog with me who he loves! It probably is a confidence issue with him coming somewhere new as last owner had him 6 years, but a nervous horse and an (increasingly) nervous rider don't go well together imo!
 
Sorry I don't buy the "nervous in a new home" malarky - I could take my old horse anywhere - through the fires of hell even and he'd be brilliant! If you ever intend to go to a show, clinic, camp - your horse can't twit about for weeks on end getting used to things! He's being a bad boy!
 
Sorry I don't buy the "nervous in a new home" malarky
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It really depends on the horse. Two of mine are fine but the third has taken between 2 and 6 months to settle each time I've moved her. She is fine going to shows and different venues, however moving home and having new hacking really winds her up. She is a very nervous and unconfident animal and has to be handled very calmly, where as the other two are much more relaxed and confident and go with the flow.
 
Yeah, a horse like that isn't for everyone (she's actually my favourite, but don't tell the others ;) ) but in all the years I've had her, I've never been worried by her or scared to get on her, which makes all the difference. When someone is becoming scared and their confidence is being eroded it becomes a whole different matter. It sounds like the horse in the OP is not a good match for Sleepykitten.
 
Have you asked the vendors to take the horse back, presumably they saw you riding and must have known if you could manage it, it is possible it has not settled with you, but that is less likely than they sold you a horse you were not up to riding. The seller told you to tap him with a stick, indicates he was naughty at home.
 
I have asked them to take him back twice now, however the seller was also having financial issues which is another reason she sold him, and basically has said that she can't give me my money back as she no longer has it! He was advertised as being safe as houses, go anywhere, do anything type of horse, to be fair, he was fine at her place and I really thought that I "clicked" with him, but am increasingly feeling that he only does things on his terms.
 
Hey I will honestly say you should sell. This was a stop gap for you anyway and as your can start to be worked lightly why not give her the attention!
I can understand how you feel with your other horse, my boy has a very determined character. He saw a dead horse and welder sparks on 1 hack and became a monster. He would rear verticaly and into ditches , landed in one once, bucked, ran backwards, spun, refused to move, etc. But with a lot of patience and perseverance he's back to been his normal self. But I was also backing, breaking and retraining at that stage, but being on a road with that behaviour isn't fun.
So why damage your own confidence for a horse you had already decided as a stop gap. But definately be honest!
And best of luck!
 
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