When do you admit you've made a mistake?

Kitsune said:
Sorry I don't buy the "nervous in a new home" malarky - I could take my old horse anywhere - through the fires of hell even and he'd be brilliant! If you ever intend to go to a show, clinic, camp - your horse can't twit about for weeks on end getting used to things! He's being a bad boy!
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Oh Kitty, usually I completely agree with your posts but on this subject I disagree completely! :p

Its not the same as going to a show or clinic is it? From the horse's point of view everything has been turned on its head, not just the place, but the person who attends to you is not one you have experienced before, the old people and horses you knew are completely missing, the place you are kept, the equine company is all different and you may have to sort out a new place in a new herd (or you may be being kept alone for the first time, or even if you're used to that the horses in the adjoining fields are different ones), your turnout/bring in/live in/out regime may have changed even slightly, the style of the person riding you is bound to be at least slightly different, your tack/feed etc may have changed, the farrier may trim and shoe you differently, your teeth feel funny as they only do once every 6 months or yearly when the dentist comes... you get the gist. Surely it all adds up and until new becomes normal I'm sure it is overwhelmingly stressful. Undoubtedly some horses come with it better than others, perhaps especially if they have changed hands a few times, or are just an accepting temperament. Once its all established as normal, shows, new hacks etc should only be one thing changing, and by then you at least (hopefully!) trust the rider you are with.

I do think it sounds like a confidence issue, one which probably didn't arise in the last home. Maybe if he started being a bit silly the rider just pressed the right buttons, and with him knowing and everything else being settled, all was ok. If you don't get on with him and its obviously not your priority (not a critism by the way) then I agree rehome him, although you may have to accept making a financial loss on him.
 
I must have been really very lucky then - or picked specific horses or act in a specific way, because in all the horses I have had only one started acting up like that and well, she was passed on to someone who could be bothered pretty sharpish (should never have fallen for her pretty ways :) )

I've had trekking cobs - they only know walk behind the other like a troup of elephants! 5YO TBs, IDx, QHs and not one of those ever gave me the bother the poor poster is having.

I guess it could be down to a lot of circumstances - because I'm SO bloody minded about hacking out alone maybe they don't dare argue, also because i don't believe the let them settle stance, I get on and push them out of their comfort zone right away so by day 3 they are used to it and I could just be picking a particular horse.

Poor OP bought this horse to do this one job which the old owner has said he'll do. If the old owner was a liar I don't think OP would be able to converse with them on the level she has - they'd be gone in a poof of smoke. Unless the old owner had him from birth he'll have been through this scenario before so he knows he's not going to get killed my a pack of marauding tigers :) again, I'd like to think the old owner would have said, if he needed over a MONTH to settle in! A week yeah - a month?! i assume he'll be in with the herd and very used to his surroundings by now surely?

I think the boy is taking advantage and I do think he's a naughty boy!

Still love you Naturally *choccy and wibbles*
 
I agree with Naturally. Kitty I think you've just been lucky! I'd always been relatively lucky and picked confident horses that settled quite quickly into new routine etc, but current boy is not naturally confident at all and needs much more time than the others to process any changes in his life. It doesn't mean he's being a bad boy! Same as people, some are just more sensitive than others :p

OP if you're not happy with the horse and don't really fancy working him through his 'troubles' then defo sell on, esp as your girl is now rideable again. But I also suspect you will make a loss on him, unless you got him for a song :(
 
:D *scoffs choccy and sends wibbles back, along with Pimms* :D

I am also bloody minded about hacking out alone, and also haven't had a horse who has argued like the one in the OP, although I did spend a fair amount of time getting off the last horse and leading him past horse-eating-cows on a daily basis. :rolleyes: I'm pretty sure he was just testing me though, because that was his personnality all over :rolleyes: and it never worried me.

Funnily enough he got over it in an instant the second I started taking him on faster hacks, as his need for speed was far more important than his desire to argue the toss about who was boss, although every so often he'd remember that cows eat horses and try it again :D

Anyhoo, I wasn't talking from personal experience, and maybe you and I have been lucky, maybe its our bloody mindedness that means they just don't bother trying, but if I'm allowed to personnify breifly, if a child acted up settling into a new foster home, regardless of if they have always been with one family or ten, it would seem reasonable to put it down to settling in. I guess children, like horses, need a consistent set of rules establishing from day 1, but I guess some would settle quicker than others.

Anyhoo, I'm waffling. *toddles off to try Pimms with chocolate*
 
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Maybe luck, maybe design - I genuinely couldn't tell you.

One thing I do do *titters do do* is when I try a horse now I'm not interested in poncing it about in the school, I want to get out hacking on it. So I ask sellers to show me all the prety stuff in the school and then I get on and hack it out.

When I bought Murphy (after offensive harlot horse that went up in the road with me...) I had had 4 years off because of her, I was so frightened riding this 17hh lump *I'll affix a pic!* that my legs were like jelly and I was almost in tears but I knew what I needed him to do so we did it. He carried me safely over the flyover and past some barkig dogs - and i fell in love!

Murphheadmid.jpg
 
sleepykitten said:
Hi nixxy, been in constant contact with last owner who is saying she can't understand this behaviour, not like him at all, but she sold him as she has had a back operation so unable to ride at the mo. Have tried most things she has suggested, including when she suggested smacking him with a stick - this made him bronc! I'm just not sure I'm confident enough to handle him, I wnated a ready made horse and thats what I thought I'd bought, as I say, time to spend messing about is at a premium - don't get me wrong, when he goes well, he is lovely, but I don't have the time to put into him if hes going to be like this. Don't want to have a fight everytime we try to go somewhere new!
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yeah not so good then :( if i were in your shoes id sell, theres so many horses out there so im sure you will find one who hacks alone.
 
Dear all,

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and advice, I have now made the difficult decision to sell him. I think that he does have a bit of a confidence issue with going somewhere new on a hack, but he needs someone who can be confident for him and help him through it, and tbh, thats not me! I'm not willing to risk losing my confidence again and in the process, making his issues worse. He is a lovely horse in just about every other way - the last hack I had on him (familiar route!) we went down a single track road and the bin lorry went past his nose. Did not even flinch! Also, OH is a farmer and drove the quad bike under his nose in the yard the other day and he just put his head down for OH to scratch. Also, he seems to love being schooled and works really well - however, I am at best really a happy hacker so this also isn't my forte! He deserves someone who has the time and patience to work through this and unfortunately, being honest, I have neither!
 
How was he advertised op? If he's acting contrary to his advert then I'm afraid I'd be demanding a full refund and returning what sounds like a dangerous horse - through the courts if necessary.
 
I think you sound like you've made the right decision for yourself, OP :) Persevering with a horse who exhibits that sort of behaviour is no fun, and they're just too big and too potentially dangerous to mess around with. Hope you can find a home who will either work through these issues or who just want to school.

Amymay, the OP could see if the vendor will have him back as a goodwill gesture, but unless the horse came from a dealer I'm pretty sure that legally its a case of buyer beware, caveat emptor, so I wouldn't go through the courts, as I imagine the case would lose.
 
Plenty of cases of buyers bringing successful cases against private sellers for misselling. And I would be looking at getting some legal advice - if it was claimed he was a good allrounder safe to hack out etc.
 
I feel a bit sorry for both horse and rider, if he is a sensative lump he probably knows hes not for keeps, he's a little bit nervy, and a bit sharper than normal, she is a little bit scared and knows hes not worth working on - as he was only a stop gap - and its such a shame.

Tell me - when you hacked him at his old place, where were you exactly? ie open fields where he could see all around or dark country lanes with all the birds and rabbit making the hedgerows a monster? - also any running water under his feet - even a stream you may not know about, any big trees overhaning your route that may not be as safe as you think?

Ime asking all these questions as I have been on the receiving end of a 17hh lump planting, spinning, running backwards and finally i cracked it - but it was my sheer bloody minddedness as someone else said that made me and him know - that i wasnt giving up no matter what.

I am a great beliver in the stand and wait till you get board routine, and i keep off roads with mine as if i am going to have a battle i would rather be on grass or dirt tracks than nice shiney slippy tarmac.

Poor you -
 
Have you had his back and saddle checked to rule out any pain issues? If he's nappy, that's one thing, but if he bolts and rears and you feel unsafe, there's no shame in self-preservation, If it were me, though, I'd want to rule out pain before selling him.

Talk to the previous owner if you can.

With a brand new horse, I find it helpful to hack out with another calm steady horse before hacking out alone. That way the other horse will give your horse confidence and the herd instinct will work to your advantage. Ideally, once you and the horse are happy and confident hacking out with another horse and rider for a few weeks, you can try short hacks on your own.

Good luck with this difficult decision.
 
Thanks Brigantia, Yes, he's had teeth done, saddle and back checked and full vetting. I'm a bit stuck for someone else to ride out with as there is no-one really around, I keep my neds at home on our farm so I just really hack round our land. This is why its a big problem as I always hack out alone! I've been taking my little dog with me as he always used to come with me and my mare, and while he isnt fazed by him running around, he doesnt seem to take any comfort from him either.
 
Sleepykitten - I think the horse may have had confidence issues when he arrived to you then realised he could get away with it. In which case he isn't suitable for you as you wanted a safe hack!
He sounds like a horse I used to ride. He wasn't scared, just didn't fancy going any further. So I hacked him alone and called his bluff. His trick was to spin or run backwards. Failing that he would leave the ground off all four feet.
I wacked a pair of spurs on, a neckstrap and found myself a nice schooling whip. Needless to say the napping stopped very quickly because I just sat to everything he threw at me until he realised I wouldn't let up and he would then just walk out fine.

I hope you find a goodhomefor your 17hh. Sounds like my type of horse! Don't think the bank balance would allow two mind :D
 
Hi!

Had the very same problem, brought new horse and he was doing exactly what you are describing. We got someone else (fearless and forward thinking rider) to ride him a few times and it solved the problem.... If you can be brave and force him forward but see if you can find someone who could help you if not. I think it is a little bit of piss taking and lack of confidence... Good luck xxx
 
Damnation, I really wish I had your balls!! Ten years ago maybe, but like you say, the very reason I didn't set out to buy a horse that had issues is because I didn't think I could cope with any! While he hasn't quite yet put the fear of God into me, he is starting to make me think twice and i don't want to get on the slippery slope! Having said that, when he napped the other day, he most certainly was not allowed to go home, I made him go another way instead, and when he got back, made him walk down the "spooky" route again, admittedly, I didn't get very far, but made him go on my terms and stand still and behave. Its not quite the all out victory I wanted, but better than chickening out and letting him run off home, besides, I didn't want a horse to pick a fight with in the first place!!:rolleyes:
 
Sleepy Kitten

Sorry to hear your situation - what a nightmare! Can I ask you though, what breed is this horse? How old is he please? What was his history? Have you changed his food? Are you supplementing him? Are you riding him in a different bit? Was he sold as seen?

Regarding the former owner - reading your words - the person didn't seem very surprised at you having problems. From what you have written, I certainly would not have sold said horse as safe, (steady) hacker. If you were to be wording up the advert for him - I guess you would/may use - needs competent rider (not being rude to you here) or not novice ride, or perhaps?

Its such a shame that the prev owner has not offered to pop and see you, him, to see how you are riding him? Surely as they have been paid, a little aftercare is warranted here (for the horses benefit?) Or does that person not give a damn? I know that if he was a good as he was advertised, then all should have been well. Sounds like you bought a different animal?

I have always followed up on "my" animals - just to make sure all is well with them and smooth the transition over from home to home. But then, I'm a softey! x
 
Hi CG, he's an 8 year old Friesian, ridden in the snaffle bridle he came with, was in a muddy field with about 10 other horses when I got him, eating grass. Now hes at mine, he's also eating grass! the odd carrot or slice of apple is the only difference food wise as I'm always petrified of them getting too fat.
 
sleepykitten said:
Thanks Brigantia, Yes, he's had teeth done, saddle and back checked and full vetting. I'm a bit stuck for someone else to ride out with as there is no-one really around, I keep my neds at home on our farm so I just really hack round our land. This is why its a big problem as I always hack out alone! I've been taking my little dog with me as he always used to come with me and my mare, and while he isnt fazed by him running around, he doesnt seem to take any comfort from him either.
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Sad that you don't have anyone to ride with, because that might really help. You don't have any horsey friends in your area who can drop in? Doing this ALL on your own is a huge challenge.
 
Brigantia, yes it is a huge challenge and one that I'm not up to. He will be up for sale shortly as I just don't have the balls for this! He is so far away from what I thought I'd bought, its not fair on him either though as he is a nice horse just needs some confidence.:(
 
sleepykitten said:
Brigantia, yes it is a huge challenge and one that I'm not up to. He will be up for sale shortly as I just don't have the balls for this! He is so far away from what I thought I'd bought, its not fair on him either though as he is a nice horse just needs some confidence.:(
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That sounds like a brave and honest decision!
 
Thank you, its not been an easy one, I have tears in my eyes writing this, but I have to do whats right for him too, and all I'm doing now is making his issues worse which isn't fair on him.:(
 
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