When/if to get daughter a pony?

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Tronk

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Short version: when do you know that your child is ready for a pony of their own?
The long version: I wasn't allowed a pony at home for many years, mainly due to my parents not being horsey. I had riding lessons, helped out at the riding stables for years, then had various ponies on working livery (including the naughty one that no one wanted!). It wasn't until I was 12 that I had a pony on loan at home, by which time I could hack out alone and took sole responsibility for the pony. I had a pony then a horse of my own until I went to Uni. Then I had a few years off and took up riding again in my thirties. I now have my own horse at home plus a companion. I have always valued the experience I gained at the riding school, especially riding the naughty ponies etc.
Fast forward a few years and I'm in the same boat my parents were - being pestered for a pony by my daughter! She is 10, and has been riding at a riding school for 18 months, they run a pony club every Sunday which she attends plus she helps out on other days after school and at weekends. I have said no currently to a pony at home as previously I have thought that her riding has not been confident enough, although I am happier with this now. I am also a firm believer in the endless knowledge to be gained from the riding school - constant access to instructors and v experienced horsey people who impart an awful lot more knowledge onto my daughter than I ever could! Plus the social aspects of looking after the ponies with other children etc. Also in my experience (warning: complete generalisation ahead!) the kids that had ponies at home and horsey parents never rode their ponies and grew up to be non-horsey!
But I am now starting to wonder if a pony at home would be more sensible - and dare I say it cheaper! We have the grazing and the room, but it would mean I'd have to sell/loan out the companion. I'm currently forking out at least £25 per week to the riding school, and unfortunately the excellent instructor that my daughter used to have has gone on long term sick and the replacement is less than adequate. Also the ménage is hideously wet so they are doing small circles to avoid the wet etc - plus one of the horses in the lesson was far from sound ... You're getting my drift! Other local riding schools are worse though so no point in changing.
So am toying with the idea of going against my principles and getting a pony on loan at home...what do you think??? What are the criteria for being 'ready' for a pony - I do not want to be the one who is doing all the hard work for her!

Mince pies and Baileys if you're still awake!
 
I would say if your daughter is willing to look after the pony as well as ride it. For example does she help you out with poo picking,grooming etc or does she just ride? Having a pony is responsibility as well as fun.
 
it would be nice to have an extra pony at home you ride so she could go out riding with you, you can always get instructors to yard or if you have transport go to them - the only down side is her having friends of her own age to have fun with - but you could always join pony club as well :)
 
You know your daughter best.Is she the type to drop stuff as soon as something more interesting comes along,or is she a sticker? I'm not horsey,despite having a pony as a child,and bought our pony after my eldest had been at RS for nearly 3 years and my youngest 18 months.I figured it was cheaper and they'd lean more by having a pony at home,which they did,but I still do a lot of the work because I'm self employed and can be there for the farrier,vet ect.

If you are unsure,would you be able to get a part loan/share.Does she take much interest in your two? I'd ask her to care for them for a few months if possible,to see if she is capable/doesn't mind the grunt work.
 
I had always wanted a pony and from a young age had lessons at a local small riding school, i think when i was about 6/7 my mum said to me that if i went to a new riding school (old one closed) for 2 years every other week come rain or shine then she would look at getting me my own, so i did. At the riding school i always helped tack up and groom and do all the stable jobs before and after riding for 2 years. We then started looking for my own, even when we found one she said i must continue on the same schedule going for lessons with my pony ever other week for 2 more years or she would be sold. I also joined the pony club which i found had better instructors and a variety of things to do.

I would say if she is 10 and has been going for 18 months come rain or shine then you could look at getting one. Perhaps get a loan pony first and then if she is not so interested then the pony can go back to the original owners, i would try your local pony club they are often great at finding ponies that are suitable. Im actually trying to find a loan home for one at the moment if you are in the midlands area then pm me.
 
Thanks - good advice as ever! She does help look after mine but to be fair to her one is 17hh and the other is a 15.3hh heavy horse so handling them alone is a no no obviously and poo picking is a mammoth job! But maybe I could think of a a couple of jobs that she could take responsibility for safely for a couple of weeks...would be a good test! Thank you.
 
The more I hear the more I realise my parents really wanted me to prove I wantd a horse!!!

I was in the same boat as you OP over horse ownership! Parents never owned a horse, but mum rode at rs..... I started aged 2.5 and stayed in riding schools till aged 10. From here I was offered the chance of careing for a ladies 4 horses at the weekend which i did for a year.... Then had a loan horse for almost a year....it was only once I grew out of the loan horse that with a lot of pleading did they ever consider a horse for me! Even then it was on strict instructions of dedication and had to decide between horse and 'social life' I.e. Going round friends houses and going to town..... I elected for horses!

Somehow I'm still here 6 years on! But wanting my own for over 10 years and having to work for them has made me much more dedicated and value them more!
 
This summer I bought our grandson and niece a pony to share, this after they had mucked out barns, poo picked fields, groomed and cleaned tack for years, since they now have their own pony, they seem to have lost interest, I'm wondering if being teenagers is a factor, my 3yr old grandson is still as keen as mustard, loves poo picking, filling haynets and putting beds down, his first 'ride' was on my 16 3 hh WB mare
 
When we moved to have our own smallholding and land my daughter was 12 and my son 9, they were both able to be responsible with guidance for the care of their ponies which somehow arrived from a horse mad grandma and did tasks around the stables etc.

Being members of local PC Branch provided friends and instruction.

If you are looking for a pony to loan look on rehomeing charity websites, there are some lovely ponies needing homes. Blue cross have a home to home scheme where ponies go on to new approved homes as they are outgrown.
 
Every little girl should have their own pony if they want one.
And the parents should post a video of them seeing the pony for the first time when it is theirs.:D

OK, now the serious answer.

I don't think anybody can ensure that the bug that has bitten currently will last throughout teenage years. Puberty is never the same from child to child.

So will a year along the road make that much difference if when she gets older she turns away from ponies?

I would have thought one question would be are you prepared to have a young rider always wanting to ride with you?
Maybe having limitations on what you do with your horses?
Perhaps having to take on more looking after?
Will that work out for you both?
 
Aarrghimpossiblepony said:
Every little girl should have their own pony if they want one.
And the parents should post a video of them seeing the pony for the first time when it is theirs.:D
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Agree! :-) I have watched a few of these on You Tube and they reduce me to tears every time! :-D

on a serious note, my dad bought me my first pony after only 6 mths of me riding at a RS, however, I did spend all weekend, every weekend, up there during that time so proved to him I was serious about it. I thought I could ride until I got my own! I didn't even know how to groom/tack up and had never mucked out but I did have a wonderful YO who had children around the same age as me and she, plus the help of books and magazines, anything I could get my hands on, taught me loads. I had lessons on my own pony and within a year I had turned from a nervous unbalanced wreck to showing in working hunter classes. It also kept me off the streets and away from boys during my teenage years. very clever of my dad I thought! :-)
 
Tack cleaning is a nice safe job :) maybe you could ask the local pony club if anyone has a pony for winter loan? Some trekking centres up this way do the same thing. If she manages winter she's probably quite committed, if she doesn't, then the pony is only around for the loan time and is expected o go back in the spring. Even if she doesn't get loads of riding she could still look after the small pony and get lots of experience in the meantime. The poops will be small enough for her to pick and you could always section a small area off which would then be her responsibility.

You sound very sensible, sure you'll make the right decision!
 
As mother of a 12 year old who has had her own pony at home alone for 8 years, I would say that there are definite advantages to having a pony of her own. She can ride bareback, have lunge lessons, canter round the fields, hack out etc - things that RS can't take the risks with these days. The care and management skills your daughter has learned can be put into practice at home, and she can have lessons from other instructors. If she is already accustomed to being out at the stables in winter without moaning then I think your daughter is ready.

Then there's Pony Club and competing!!!! Pony Club is super for instilling discipline and stable management skills. Although, this is where it gets difficult as you will find your time is no longer your own (LOL!) what with show preparation, PC rallies, dressage tests, SJ competitions, fun rides, mock hunts, etc -if she participates she can still have the social aspect and continue to learn. Make contact with your area PC District Commissioner, they may know of suitable ponies coming available or put you in touch with other mums and children to discuss the pros and cons.

Life's short, if it doesn't work out you can still have the pony as a companion and at least she had the opportunity to try.
 
Sunshine said:
As mother of a 12 year old who has had her own pony at home alone for 8 years, I would say that there are definite advantages to having a pony of her own. She can ride bareback, have lunge lessons, canter round the fields, hack out etc - things that RS can't take the risks with these days. The care and management skills your daughter has learned can be put into practice at home, and she can have lessons from other instructors. If she is already accustomed to being out at the stables in winter without moaning then I think your daughter is ready.

Then there's Pony Club and competing!!!! Pony Club is super for instilling discipline and stable management skills. Although, this is where it gets difficult as you will find your time is no longer your own (LOL!) what with show preparation, PC rallies, dressage tests, SJ competitions, fun rides, mock hunts, etc -if she participates she can still have the social aspect and continue to learn. Make contact with your area PC District Commissioner, they may know of suitable ponies coming available or put you in touch with other mums and children to discuss the pros and cons.

Life's short, if it doesn't work out you can still have the pony as a companion and at least she had the opportunity to try.
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^^ This... Mine have had a pony, and now another loan one, for 2 years. They haven't looked back. It's done wonders for their riding, because they spend so much more time in the saddle, and they get to do the bareback stuff and all that. I can't hand on heart say they do ALL the work... but they do their bit. Honestly, the pros far outweigh the cons... and they spend vast amounts of time out in the fresh air. Can't beat it. (Though my bank balance is complaining heavily).:eek:

We don't do pony club, but we're lucky enough to be on a livery yard where there are other children and there is a great RI on site. I am sure we will do eventually though.
 
Thank you - you're all so sensible! I will look into the Bluecross thing and contact the Pony Club...I promise to post the video of her face when she gets it :-)
 
Yes a pony for Christmas...... she has been riding for 18 months - is nagging you - and you have your own land. I wouldn't hesitate, she will learn so much more having a pony on her doorstep day in day out. It will give her a sense of responsibility, and she will be able to form a great bond with the pony seeing it every day. You can always hire an instructor to come out and give lessons.
 
Chestnut horse said:
Yes a pony for Christmas...... she has been riding for 18 months - is nagging you - and you have your own land. I wouldn't hesitate, she will learn so much more having a pony on her doorstep day in day out. It will give her a sense of responsibility, and she will be able to form a great bond with the pony seeing it every day. You can always hire an instructor to come out and give lessons.
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^^Is the fiver in the post from my daughter? ;-)
 
Having started riding at 6 i had to wait till 14 to get pony . my daughter had first pony aged 1 week(year old shettie not my decision) and 2 poines at 6.do i regret. not one bit . we both have lovely memories of her pony childhood together. precious memories and now aged 24 in australia she still has same psssion for horses as me. a passion thats lovely to share between mum and daughtrr. DO IT DO IT :) treasure those memories x
 
i'm from a horsey background and had a pony from day one(i have 3 older siblings) and all of us still ride(older two hunt occasionally if i can;t) and despite my mum dieing three years ago(i was a week off from 16) i still owned 4 horses/ponies all at home, and my sister and i were looking after them ourselves, and still are now...
only the youngest two in our family are still horsey and i think that's due to the fact that my mum made us work to ride, so if i wanted to go to a show i would have to muck out after school, ride at least one pony before school and one after ect, i had to earn the right to ride and if i started slacking my ponies would go, it was very plain and simple as horses are expensive, i was helping out all the time, never slacking and despite never learning in a ridng school and having pony club as my real knowledge base i can confidently say i know alot if not more than some of my co-workers who learnt at riding schools(sorry i don't mean to offend anyone but its true, i'm a hard worker)...
also i now work in ireland as a groom and what i've noticed is some of the young girls have lost confidence because they're not as good as others ect and sometimes being in a riding school isnt good because the young ones will compare themselves to others and loose faith and give up, by learning in a enviroment where there is no pressure of others watching you i found it was much easier to learn
 
Added bonus is that when she gets older, you can do what my parents did when I started wanting to go out at night. No curfew, I could go out on weekdays, no restrictions... Only I had to make sure all the horses were mucked out, fed, groomed and turned out before 7am. We never had an argument- it was entirely my choice to stay home! Well played, parents...
 
lucindakay said:
also i now work in ireland as a groom and what i've noticed is some of the young girls have lost confidence because they're not as good as others ect and sometimes being in a riding school isnt good because the young ones will compare themselves to others and loose faith and give up, by learning in a enviroment where there is no pressure of others watching you i found it was much easier to learn
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I agree with this totally. My daughter has been at the same RS for two years now and compares herself constantly to others in her lesson. This knocks her confidence and is why i want to buy a horse of our own so that she can learn at her own pace, on her own horse that she trusts - she is totally non-competitive :-)
 
This is what I did in the end. My daughter was having lessons but we have got room at home for a pony so we loaned one and I ended up getting one too. Her confidence grew and she learnt so much quicker. But best of all was the wonderful bond we shared riding and doing horsey stuff together . It may not be long term, she may go on to other things but she will learn so much. Very very important to get the right pony though.
 
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