When is it time to call time?

[yakyakfire]

The time has come ... I'm dithering day to day... is it time? Do I make that call today?

I have a 27yr old TB gelding. He has struggled with weight and squitty poop ever since i rescued him 10 years ago, year on year it gets worse. The vet diagnosed suspected IBD a few years back but didn't feel it worth a full investigation as we made him comfortable.

2 weeks ago he got moved onto fresh grass and low and behold we had the worst case of diarrhoea I've seen and he dropped weight almost instantly. I've pulled him off the grass into what is a small yard area (he won't be stabled) fed him, given him hay, pumped in gut balancer and charcoal and turned his poop around again. But... I can see his ribs and at somepoint he will have to go back on the grass. The farrier feels it best to let him go before the weather turns. I think he is possibly right. I want to keep him on hay, keep feeding him up, try to get him through it as we have every year. But he spends all his time calling over the fence to his field companion so it's not fair to keep him in all the time, even if he is ok on the grass through the dead of winter... come spring he will be worse again. It feels impossible to choose to let him go when he is relatively healthy.. just old and tired and thin. But I don't want him to be shivering in a rainstorm in December, unable to keep warm. Or to see him go down with colic or to just leave it to late.
How does anyone make the decision to let them go when they are not suffering that week but they might do next week? When you could maybe keep them going?

 

[misst]

In all honesty the time to call it is usually when you start asking the question I think. It is no ones decision but yours unfortunately but if others are suggesting it then that is another telling sign. I know it is said a lot but "better a day too soon than a moment too late" is always true for me. I think it is easy to say these things but harder when it is down to you to decide. It is the the last kindness you can give them.

 

[SEL]

Mine was arthritis but I looked at him earlier this year and just knew he couldn't do winter.

We had various things on over the summer that made me dither but I watched him one day and thought his spark wasnt the same. I called the vet then and arranged the day (in absolute floods....)

If you're thinking it then it's time. I miss my boy dreadfully but I don't miss worrying about him xx

 

[AmyMay]

It’s time. Make the call x

 

[nagblagger]

It's time to let him go over the rainbow bridge. I made the decision recently, it's hard but best thing you can do for your boy.

 

[meleeka]

It’s rarely the wrong decision when it comes to old horses. I think it’s when seeing them like they are every day is worse than not seeing them at all.

 

[Vodkagirly]

I don't think I know of anyone calling time too early. Sometimes horses can look fab but when the owner starts talking about there issues, you understand why it's time.
If he can't go out with the herd and it's not getting better long term, its time.

 

[Goldenstar]

It’s is time , give him a peaceful end .

 

[Ratface]

I support all the above advice and guidance.
To me, it feels as if you know in your heart that your lovely horse needs to be finally comfortable and pain-free.
Please, for your horse, make the call.

 

[Daughter of the Moor]

Better a day to soon than a day too late. it's the one thing we can do for animals that we can't do for our fellow humans. It is never easy.

 

[ester]

Old and tired and thin would be enough for me to decide. Mine (29) went looking and feeling fab, I was pleased he could go that way nut is was bloody hard to be sent videos a couple of weeks before of him charging round the field and rearing. The decision was made for a few reasons but mostly because the winter before after christmas we had real trouble with his eating despite our best efforts to cater for him and I felt like we had got away with it that year (also a native that would have helped) but it wasn't a situation that was going to have improved another 6 months down the line and we cannot turn out 24/7 through winter due to the ground. Mostly I thought it must be pretty rubbish to be hungry all day but for it to hurt to eat however stoic he was.

I'm well aware that some would have said goodbye before we did (he had been on daily bute for about 3 years) and some would have kept him going. Neither would have been wrong per se.

 

[SadKen]

If mine I’d give him a magic morning on the grass with his buddy and let him go before it’s really cold and wet.

You’ve done him proud, this is the last step now, and it’s always the hardest one. Time is the one thing we cannot stop.

 

[Tronk]

It sounds like it’s time :-( One of the hardest things is actually making the phone call- I just couldn’t do it. So I texted my lovely vet instead & she made all the arrangements. It’s very hard to choose the right time but what made me get on and do it with my old boy (also 27!) was imagining if something happened when I wasn’t there (we were going on holiday but equally it could be if I was at work or something) and he had to be pts when I wasn’t around or worse, because he was in a dire situation and in pain. If you choose the day you are in control and can give him the peaceful passing he deserves. He obviously fell on his feet when you rescued him and has had a wonderful life since, you just have to do this final thing for him. Sending hugs x

 

[Abacus]

It doesn’t sound as though there is any realistic plan that will make him better than he is, and more likely that he will deteriorate. I would agree with others that sooner is better. Look at the weather forecast and try to give him a sunny happy day or two with friends. I’m so sorry. Best wishes. X

 

[Snow Falcon]

When you start to ask the question, the answer is already there in my opinion. Let him go peacefully with love.

 

[yakyakfire]

Thank you x I really appreciate all your support! It really is the toughest decision to make. I think I'm going to call the vet in the morning and try to arrange them to come out Thursday when hubby can be with me and the older kids are in school.
I can keep him very happy from now until then with a few hours turn out each day.
I'm not sure I can be with him when he goes. I want to be, but I'm already in therapy, I'm not sure I need to do that to myself. Maybe say goodbye when they sedate him. Hubby has said he would like to stay with him if I can't, I've told him I would never ask him to do that but I think he loves that horse almost as much as I do ( despite being allergic and not an animal person lol).

 

[poiuytrewq]

Agree it’s probably time. Don’t feel bad. It’s the last kindness x

 

[pinkfluffy]

My oldest had similar issues which turned out to be Protein Losing Enteropathy and a bute intolerance - he was quite IBS. I didn't think he could get more problems than he already had. Nothing harder than seeing them getting older and thinner. You'll know when its the right time and it really will be a kindness.
I'm so sorry and sending hugs x

 

[Griffin]

I had to make a similar call for an elderly TB for similar reasons. He had fecal water syndrome and I just could not keep the weight on him, plus his back end needed daily washing and creaming. It was such a sad decision but the right one. You're doing the right thing and don't pressure yourself to be there at the very end, he will know you love him whether you are next to him or not.

 

[Peglo]

I knew I couldn’t do another winter with my TB but hoped we’d get through the summer. It wasn’t to be. like Sel it was arthritis and when to call it a day was on my mind all the time. I saw the change in her eyes and that made me decide.

such a hard decision and thinking of you. I agree that when you start thinking about it it’s probably close to time.
As devastating as it was it was also a bit of a relief not to have the constant worry.

 

[Birker2020]

When you start asking the question or the normal level of pain relief doesn't work, or they look like they have lost weight without a reason. Any of those, for me it was when Bails started going inconsistently lame which then ended up being lame most of the time, whilst weirdly starting to rotate her near fore outwards as she walked, clipping my leg. Up till then she'd been on one sachet of bute a day for years which was very good for something weighing 700kg. So we upped the bute still within a very acceptable level (2 a day) but it made no difference towards the very end. X-rays revealed something awful so the decision was made.

I don't regret it, and I got a week or more to say goodbye and have some lovely memories of that time, she was spoilt rotten and was pain free on three bute a day for the last couple of days.

The relief was instant although the pain, at least for me, has never gone away.

When you know your animal, you know when its time. Simple as that.

 

[sbloom]

If it helps the phrase is usually "better a week too soon than a day too late", so yes, it can feel a little too early, but that's okay. Sending hugs for a horrible decision.

 

[lynz88]

It sounds to me like it is time and if it were me, I would call it, I think. It isn't as if he is 10 and still bouncing around the field from time to time with a little joint supplement or bute by the sounds of it. It sounds like he has had a good, long life.

 

[Trouper]

It is the worst of times waiting through those last few days. Be comforted that you are doing the very best thing for him and he only knows that he is loved and cared for. You are being incredibly strong to make this decision of itself and for him so you are quite right to decide what is right for you on the day.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

It does sound like it's time sorry, I can't do the booking a day and waiting though once my minds made up it's done that day and I've never regretted it, you do feel guilty at first but then you do get a sense of relief once you don't have the worry of thinking about how they are all the time.

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

So sorry you are in this position. With my old gal last year who was only 10yo but had horrible trigeminal headshaking, one morning I went out into the yard and she was there and I just "knew" it was time for her and made the call then and there.

With my two oldies we did them both together, same vet appointment. They were both suffering from mobility difficulties - my old lad was finding it hard to physically lie down - and they were both pair-bonded so it just wouldn't have been fair to have left one without the other. Bless 'em.

It isn't ever easy, but all I would say is that it is better a week too early than a day too late. It is Autumn now, the weather is inevitably set to get colder, and if you're considering "the decision" I would gently suggest now might be "the time". Soooh very sorry, it is never easy.

 

[Fjord]

Nothing useful to add but massive hugs. You are doing the right thing, but I'm sorry you are having to make such a decision.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

Your plan sounds super sensible with all bases covered. It is the kindest thing you can do.