When is it time to let go?

[claire1976]

I don't buy into this romantic notion that my horse will let me know when it's time. I think horses do their best to please as much as they can and rarely let on that life is getting too much. I had hoped that I would have a better understanding of when the time is right but I'm just not sure. My mare is 23, she was my first horse that I ever owned. We've had some wonderful years together and lovely memories. Until the middle of last summer she was hacking out weekly and enjoying life. She went mildly lame towards the end of summer which I put down to sugars in the grass, cushings etc. Since then she's had her shoes off and been retired properly. The vet came out a few weeks ago and said her knee joint was fusing, there is distinct pocket of fluid on the inside of the knee. Prognosis wasn't good, it's progressive and alongside cushings and ringbone she's not finding things easy. She was put on danilon and at first there was no change, after 2 weeks I saw an improvement and she perked up. However this last week of very cold weather has really took its toll. I know for a fact she doesn't lay down in her stable and this bothers me. She stands in the same place all night, although there appears to be evidence she has a roll in the field.
She still enjoys her feed but coming in and out of the field each day she seems in a low mood, head quite low and doesn't seem to move around the field much.
She had bought of diarrhea over the weekend- not sure if that's the bute or the frosty grass.
I find myself questioning if I should consider letting her go, but then I think well she's enjoying food, weight is ok, isn't depressed all the time but is that enough?? Excuse my naivety but I've never been in this position before.

 

[popsdosh]

I don't buy into this romantic notion that my horse will let me know when it's time. I think horses do their best to please as much as they can and rarely let on that life is getting too much. I had hoped that I would have a better understanding of when the time is right but I'm just not sure. My mare is 23, she was my first horse that I ever owned. We've had some wonderful years together and lovely memories. Until the middle of last summer she was hacking out weekly and enjoying life. She went mildly lame towards the end of summer which I put down to sugars in the grass, cushings etc. Since then she's had her shoes off and been retired properly. The vet came out a few weeks ago and said her knee joint was fusing, there is distinct pocket of fluid on the inside of the knee. Prognosis wasn't good, it's progressive and alongside cushings and ringbone she's not finding things easy. She was put on danilon and at first there was no change, after 2 weeks I saw an improvement and she perked up. However this last week of very cold weather has really took its toll. I know for a fact she doesn't lay down in her stable and this bothers me. She stands in the same place all night, although there appears to be evidence she has a roll in the field.
She still enjoys her feed but coming in and out of the field each day she seems in a low mood, head quite low and doesn't seem to move around the field much.
She had bought of diarrhea over the weekend- not sure if that's the bute or the frosty grass.
I find myself questioning if I should consider letting her go, but then I think well she's enjoying food, weight is ok, isn't depressed all the time but is that enough?? Excuse my naivety but I've never been in this position before.

It so difficult when they get to this stage ,All I would say is if you are thinking nows the time sometimes you need to go with your gut feelings . It is very easy to leave it a month to late and very rarely is it to soon! Do you have anybody else you could ask for their opinion who knows the mare but dont see her so often . I say this because sometimes deterioration just creeps up on you and is more noticeable to somebody else. I am sure whatever you do will be right as you seem a very caring owner that has her best interest at heart .

 

[eggs]

It certainly sounds as though you have been giving this some careful thought. It is very difficult to give advice on a forum but it might be worth having a chat with your vet.

I was once told 'better a month too soon than a day too late'. One of my retired boys developed arthritis in his knee and following discussion with my vet I took the decision to have him pts as we were going into winter and I was concerned he might go down in the field and not be able to get up.

 

[twobearsarthur]

Always better to be a month too soon rather than a day too late.
It is such a difficult decision to make.
We chose with our old girl to let her have a last summer when she seemed to have had a rougher winter then normal. That worked for her and us.
It is so easy these days to keep trying new medication and treatments.
I would say is all you can do is go with your gut instinct.
sorry in not much help.

 

[flirtygerty]

If your mare is not enjoying her field, perhaps it is time to speak to your vet, my two 20+ yr olds still charge about like lunatics, my WB mare was on her last summer two years ago due to arthritis, put her on Tumeric, having nothing to lose and she's now back happy hacking, sadly I don't think Tumeric could help your old girl, thoughts are with you

 

[Pearlsasinger]

Well, they don't tell you in so many words but if you have known your horse for a few years and know what is normal for them and know that now the behaviour has changed for the worse, then the horse is telling you in its own way.

As someone else suggested, asking another person who knows the horse but doesn't see it as much as you do, perhaps your farrier, is a good idea.

Usually, if you are beginning to think that it is time, you are right.

 

[DJ]

I always go by the motto "Rather a day too soon than a day too late" ... You know her, you see her day to day, and though you don`t buy into the romantic notion of them telling you when the time is right, you are the closest person to be able to assess her, and know when things are just too much for her. Some horses will let you know obviously when they are suffering, others are more stoic in their nature. There is no wrong time in calling it a day when you know they are starting to struggle a bit, sometimes it`s actually making the phone call that is the hardest thing, once that is done with, you can concentrate on spoiling her. Trust me, I know how it feels. I had my boy PTS last Weds, a bit different circumstances to you, but I knew it was the right thing for him ... The overwhelming feeling for me, has been relief for him xx

 

[FfionWinnie]

Only you can decide but personally I think needing painkillers to possibly but not certainly be enjoying retirement would likely be the cut off for me. Its a horrible time for you I know.

 

[Sukistokes2]

Two years ago on the 10th of Jan I made thar decision for my mare. She was still ok and eating but there was just something in her attitude. She was quite stiff and I was worried she would go down in the field, no one would notice and she would lay there for hours, as I work full time. It was bloody hard and it was horrid and I cried like a baby, however once done I knew it was the right decision for me and my mare. Two day later it really snowed and she would have hated that weather.
You are starting to think about it and that is a good thing. Only you can make the decision. When you do make sure you have a friend on hand to be with you. If you do get her through this winter it may be worth thinking about letting her go before the weather turns this autumn.

 

[claire1976]

Thanks for all the replies. She's been on turmeric to no relief. Previously Supaflex over winter was enough to improve stiffness. She is a tough old bird and will keep going, in her head she really wants to keep going but her body isn't happy. I start to see the light going out in her eyes, except at feed time when she perks up.

 

[Mrs B]

Thanks for all the replies. She's been on turmeric to no relief. Previously Supaflex over winter was enough to improve stiffness. She is a tough old bird and will keep going, in her head she really wants to keep going but her body isn't happy. I start to see the light going out in her eyes, except at feed time when she perks up.

Maybe she IS telling you, romantic notion or not. Have been there more times than I care to remember and I do sympathise but I don't know her and you do, therefore only you will know when the 'right' time is.

Have had them go with the light still in their eyes for food, have had them go when they'd still like to go for a hooley (but when I know terrible suffering is imminent) and have had them go in agony when I wish with all my heart and soul I'd been able to send them on their way before, if only I'd had hindsight.

Whatever it is with your girl, good luck and best wishes: it's never easy.

 

[swilliam]

Don't leave it too long. A friend of mine did - I told him at the beginning of December, on a Monday, that his horse had had enough - very old TB who was extremely thin, and warned him that if he didn't call the vet, he would find the horse down in the field. He tried pouring even more food down him, but found the horse down six days later. Even then he tried for two hours to get him to his feet before finally giving in and calling the vet. (I wasn't there,or wouldn't have allowed it) More than a day too late, but he couldn't bear to let go.

 

[Joyous70]

Thanks for all the replies. She's been on turmeric to no relief. Previously Supaflex over winter was enough to improve stiffness. She is a tough old bird and will keep going, in her head she really wants to keep going but her body isn't happy. I start to see the light going out in her eyes, except at feed time when she perks up.

My old boy was 27 years old, he was diagnosed with cushings and went down hill rapidly, the prascend didn't suit, and he was depressed with or without it, the light in his eyes went out also. Unlike your mare, he wasn't eating well usually he had a voracious appetiete was dropping weight and looking miserable, I couldn't bare to see him this way, he had been such a happy loving soul, so i made the call, whichs was the hardest thing to do, he had been with me for 22 years.

 

[ester]

Is the cushings treated?

 

[Annagain]

I'm so sorrry you're facing this. I'm lucky in that I haven't had to make this decision - my old boy was PTS but very suddenly with colic and it was clear there was no other option. He was 27 and had been doing great until 4 hours before he went and by the time I found him and go the vet to him his heat rate was already slowing, we just had to help him on his way. I'm therefore maybe not the best person to give advice, but I think a really important question to ask is "what would I deprive her of if I did let her go?" I really hope I have the strength to ask myself this question when I have to for my current boy.

If the answer is a happy retirement, it's probably to soon, if the answer is an existence and the likelihood she's only going to get worse, it's probably the right time. If you get her through winter, as she has cushings and you need to keep an eye on sugars etc, is summer likely to be another problem for her or will she be able to enjoy it?

 

[claire1976]

Annagain - that is a very good question and one I have never thought about.
She only has very low grade cushings, was treated with prascend which had no effect other than to cause depression and loose bowels. It was agreed with the vet that the best course of treatment was diet and exercise and we were coping with that very well until the summer when the knee joint became too much to continue exercise.
That has been hard for her to cope with- she doesn't like being left behind when others hack out, whilst not distressed she clearly gets down about it. She's also been deranked in the field and there is nowhere else to turn her out.
Whilst her appetite is good and weight is fine I can't see that she enjoys much else and I'm not sure that's enough.

 

[supsup]

I had to put my old mare to sleep a few months back. I'd found an article on the www before (can't remember where) which suggested that you write down all the points that define quality of life for your particular horse. This can be quite individual. In my case e.g. I put on "being able to trot/canter up to the gate for her bucket", as this had been my mare's habit for years. Considering my mare's temperament and previous life's experiences, being able to be turned out 24/7 was also a point on the list. She would not have been happy to cope with stabling/separation from the herd. But these points would be different for each individual horse. The article then suggested that you should probably make the decision to PTS when about 80% of the points on the list are no longer valid (or earlier).
I wrote a list like that, and towards the end I realized that most of the points on the list had been compromised to some degree, plus the vet's diagnosis was for further deterioration. It helped me to see more clearly how her quality of life had slowly gone down before she got to the point where she was obviously miserable/in pain/beyond ready to go. Hope that helps.

 

[oldie48]

Hi
I have a 27 year old, he's got cushings (treated quite successfully with prascend) and arthritis in his hocks but currently not on bute but I have decided that if he shows any sign of laminitis or is starting to struggle to get up and down, then it will be time to PTS. He still rolls in the field and has a hooley from time to time but if he wasn't lying down in his stable I think that would be a deciding factor for me.

 

[Annagain]

Woud she enjoy / cope with a walk in hand? Maybe with another horse being ridden? It perked my old boy up a bit when he was retired. We'd walk to the end of the lane with the others as they went out on their hacks and then grazed in hand as we meandered back home. We'd sometimes still be there when they came back and I swear he thought he'd been the whole way with them!

 

[turkana]

Horrible situation to be in, I understand as I will soon be making the same decision, I have a 22 year old who is going blind, she is very well & happy now but I am going to call it a day before her quality of life is affected.
The vet comes out monthly to assess her eyes, so I can PTS when her eyes start to get worse but not so bad that she is an unhappy horse.
Is it worth getting the vet out for an honest chat?
I think it is better to PTS too soon rather than too late.

 

[ester]

I just wondered if it was an avenue that had been explored and eliminated or just been otherwise managed anyway.

Can the danilon be increased to see if that helps? The not moving much when stabled would concern me as well as her general demeanor.

 

[BayLady]

Your situation sounds not so dissimilar to mine and my old mares.

She had cushings, which was being treated, arthritis and not very good feet. She'd been in and out of retirement for a couple of years prior, and in fact was ridden in April and was fabulous. She got her muzzle off in May and I just couldn't get her back on track. She had good days and bad days for the next month or so. I went to turn her out one day as two mares, that she knew well, were playing close to the gate. She panicked when they ran at her, and then did this terrible broken trot off up the field. That was when I decided to speak to the vet. She had a couple more weeks on 5 danilon a day, which made her less stiff and sore but not sound. What did perk her up was taking her muzzle off and letting her have all the things that she wasn't supposed to.

If I could have kept her on 5 danilon a day and turned her out without restricting her grass I think she'd have perked up and been happy, but she'd have also got laminitis and have been in agony. As that wasn't an option I booked the vet and let her go last June. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her, and the first year after letting her go was pretty hellish, but I don't regret it. It was the right thing for her. I'd tried so many things over the years to keep her sound and happy and was out of options for her management. Better to let her go on a high after a short period of her living the high life than a slow deterioration with ever increasing restrictions on her turnout and diet, reduced mobility because the lack of turnout aggravated her arthritis, etc, etc.

I think that when the light in their eyes has gone, and they aren't enjoying turnout and retirement, it's probably time to make a call. Whether that's increased danilon or something else is only a decision you can make.

 

[claire1976]

I've just had a long chat with the vet who knows her best. The swelling on the knee is getting worse and is hardening, her concern is that a piece of bone has come off or maybe a growth. An increase in danilon hasn't helped and vet said in her opinion if 2 a day doesn't help then 4 isn't going to either, bute does have limitations in its ability you kill pain as it's ultimately an anti inflammatory. I have tried walking out in hand but she stops at the first sign of a hill and generally seems reluctant. She has had the odd short canter in the field but pays for it the day after. Overall she spends majority of the day and night stood in one spot either in field or stable. She never touches her bed and all the poo is in one spot.
She does enjoy grazing (when we have grass) and her bucket feed.
If I push to another summer she'll be foot sore again, is tremendously bothered by flies and overheats easily. In the vets opinion we are close to making a decision to let her go

 

[Annagain]

Sorry to hear this. Hugs.

 

[happyclappy]

From what you say, your gut feelings, and the fact you are thinking this, I suspect you are right and that the time has come. You are a very conscientous sand knowledgable and sensitive horse owner. To me, you know now is the time. You have my respect.

 

[Spotsrock]

I suspect she has told you, you have heard her and this is your journey to come to terms with the decision.

My journey took 9 months but after the heart ripping desolation of the actual deed I have felt only relief and a sense of missing her presence. My mare was so very ready, standing around, not moving in her stable, tiredness, only liking food, it's like a light has dimmed in their eyes.

I know it sounds trite but you will know.

 

[dizzyneddy]

So sorry that the vet didn't give you better news. My pony died on Grand National day in 2002 he meant the world to me & it was a shock. You have your horses welfare at heart but you seem to have known she's not been right for a while. Big hugs