Stella
Well-Known Member
God I'm such a wimp
I'm so frustrated. After a couple of accidents, one in which I was in hospital for a few days having been 'put back together', and then one more recent that meant I couldn't ride for 5 months, I'd got my confidence tentively together.
I plan (yes still plan she says trying to convince herself) to do my first ever competition next month (aged 48, sat on a horse for the first time 5.5 years ago). So off I trundled yesterday, having booked a lesson with the person who runs that particular dressage, so that my mare and I could go and work in the arena my test will be in, in a nice relaxed manner.
Unfortunately, when we got there the place was very spooky. She had her eyes on stalks and was puffing and blowing just being led to the arena (riding down was not an option to me, given her demeanor). I led her around the arena a couple of times on each rein to let her chill a bit. By this time, she had grown a couple of hands. With great misgivings I got on board (My nerves would have stopped me from mounting under those circumstances in the past). She was a good girl, didn't do anything wrong, but remained huge, tense, barely able to listen and felt to me like she would explode if anything however small moved near the arena. We remained in walk for 30 minutes doing some very poor school movements as she was craining her neck to look at the next potentially worrying thing and just not relaxing (I even kept asking the instructor, who fortunately I know fairly well, to walk with us - god its embarrasing). After 30 minutes of the 40 minute lesson time, she was no more relaxed, so I called it a day. I know my tension in response to her made me a bit frozen and it would have been much better if I'd been more confident and could have ridden her forward more. Its worth noting though that I bought her 3 years ago because she was the only one who didn't get tense in response to my nerves after the 'big accident' and she has always be a sweetheart with a nervous bod on board, so I won't have triggered it, but didn't help her much either!
I know that in the past I wouldn't have got on, and I certainly wouldn't have stayed on, in those circumstances, but given that I was hoping to start going out and doing a few tests on her, I feel so frustrated and disapointed with myself. I still felt rattled a couple of hours after arriving home! Also I feel additionally sorry for myself because I was looking forward to it and it was my birthday - now I know that makes me sound 12 and winey not 48 and grown up, but there it is!
I don't want to take up knitting but I'm just not brave
What do you all do when they grow a couple of hands?
I plan (yes still plan she says trying to convince herself) to do my first ever competition next month (aged 48, sat on a horse for the first time 5.5 years ago). So off I trundled yesterday, having booked a lesson with the person who runs that particular dressage, so that my mare and I could go and work in the arena my test will be in, in a nice relaxed manner.
Unfortunately, when we got there the place was very spooky. She had her eyes on stalks and was puffing and blowing just being led to the arena (riding down was not an option to me, given her demeanor). I led her around the arena a couple of times on each rein to let her chill a bit. By this time, she had grown a couple of hands. With great misgivings I got on board (My nerves would have stopped me from mounting under those circumstances in the past). She was a good girl, didn't do anything wrong, but remained huge, tense, barely able to listen and felt to me like she would explode if anything however small moved near the arena. We remained in walk for 30 minutes doing some very poor school movements as she was craining her neck to look at the next potentially worrying thing and just not relaxing (I even kept asking the instructor, who fortunately I know fairly well, to walk with us - god its embarrasing). After 30 minutes of the 40 minute lesson time, she was no more relaxed, so I called it a day. I know my tension in response to her made me a bit frozen and it would have been much better if I'd been more confident and could have ridden her forward more. Its worth noting though that I bought her 3 years ago because she was the only one who didn't get tense in response to my nerves after the 'big accident' and she has always be a sweetheart with a nervous bod on board, so I won't have triggered it, but didn't help her much either!
I know that in the past I wouldn't have got on, and I certainly wouldn't have stayed on, in those circumstances, but given that I was hoping to start going out and doing a few tests on her, I feel so frustrated and disapointed with myself. I still felt rattled a couple of hours after arriving home! Also I feel additionally sorry for myself because I was looking forward to it and it was my birthday - now I know that makes me sound 12 and winey not 48 and grown up, but there it is!
I don't want to take up knitting but I'm just not brave
What do you all do when they grow a couple of hands?
